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#Leadership : #WorkSmart -How to Get Back on Track When you’re Having an Unproductive Day….A Rocky Start Shouldn’t Dictate your Entire Workday. Do These Things to Reverse your Unproductivity.

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If you’re a high achiever, you juggle too many things over the course of a day. And despite your best intentions, you’re bound to have days where you feel burnt out, or just plain unproductive. This can lead to a self-destructive cycle–you beat yourself up for being unfocused, which further distracts you from what needs to be accomplished.

As a small business owner who manages a chronic illness, I’ve dealt with my fair share of days that aren’t as productive as I’d like. Over time, I’ve learned the importance of having a “reset” button–or, in other words, turning around my unproductive day and not letting it go to waste. Often, you know in your gut when you’re not being as focused as you would like. There are, however, also a few signs you can use to identify whether you’re primed for unproductivity:

  • You’re procrastinating, whether that means scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, or doing something you don’t normally enjoy doing, like working out or cleaning your house.
  • You’re staring at a blank document and can’t get yourself to write anything.
  • You had a bad night’s sleep and you’re feeling off or tired.
  • You’re prioritizing other people’s goals and needs rather than your own.
  • You start something–a new project, document, or even an email–and don’t finish it.

You don’t have to write off the day as a lost cause. There are lots of ways to recover your time that don’t involve punishing yourself for being less focused than usual. Instead, these strategies take the reality of the situation into account–you’re tired, distracted, overwhelmed, bored, or a combination of all of the above–and change the tone for the better.

With that in mind, here are my five tips for turning around an unproductive day.

1.PRIORITIZE WHAT NEEDS TO BE ACCOMPLISHED

It’s funny–it’s easy to be unproductive when you have too much to do. Feeling overwhelmed leads to prioritizing inefficiently (or not prioritizing at all), and trying to accomplish too much. When you feel stressed by your to-do list, you’re more likely to mismanage your time or even just give up. If everything is urgent and needs to get done today, you can feel paralyzed.

When this happens, stop. Take a step back and take another look at your to-do list. Identify what items absolutely have to be accomplished that day. Chances are, this whittles down your list significantly, making it feel a lot more manageable. By simply taking some of the pressure off yourself, you’re more able to focus and be productive.

Once you’ve made it through the day, sit down with your list again, and determine what tasks should be a priority for that week. By thinking realistically about your list for the coming days, you set yourself up for days that are more focused and less overwhelming.

Related: This CEO’s one-page list for keeping his priorities straight 

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2. CREATE A PRODUCTIVE AMBIENCE

If you can’t seem to focus, take a look around you. Are you distracted by your environment? And if you’re not distracted, are there ways that you could make your environment more conducive to you being productive?

My ideal environment includes atmospheric music without lyrics, natural light, a light snack, a drink like water or tea, and a comfortable seat. If I have all these elements, I’m much more likely to spend my time productively. I can really zone in and focus on what I’m doing.

Of course, you don’t always have total control over your environment. At the same time, you’re never totally out of control either. If you get unfocused when you’re hungry, make sure you have a supply of snacks on hand. Or, if you crave quiet but work in a busy, loud office with an open floor plan, make sure you’re armed with headphones before you leave the house every day.

Related: These are the weirdest productivity hack that really work

3. CHANGE UP THE SCENERY

Sometimes, you need to refresh your body and mind before you can be productive. When I feel unfocused, I like to change my surroundings. I’ll go for a walk, do yoga, or meditate—anything that gets me out of my chair and stops me from staring at my computer for an hour or so.

You can also change up the scenery by heading to a different place to work, as long as it won’t be distracting. If you usually work well in coffee shops, head to a new one nearby. Or snag an empty conference room at the office for a few hours. Even if you don’t have a lot of flexibility in your schedule, there are ways to tweak the scenery just enough to give you a fresh perspective.

4. LIMIT DISTRACTIONS (SOCIAL MEDIA IN PARTICULAR)

Distractions like social media can easily trainwreck productivity–and unfortunately, it’s extremely hard to pull the plug on them entirely. Luckily, there are lots of ways to limit these distracting factors.

You probably can’t delete your social media accounts (nor do you want to), but you can remove them from your phone. Or, you can put all your social media apps in a folder that’s out of sight. Try hiding your social media apps in a folder with more serious or daunting icons first, like the stocks or your banking apps. That way, you’ll have to think before you start scrolling, and it becomes less automatic.

Many of us rely on social media for work, so we can just log out and ignore it entirely. There’s a great plugin called KillNewsfeed that allows you access to Facebook, but blocks your newsfeed (aka the place where productivity goes to die). You can still do your Facebook-centered work, but you’re not distracted by every photo, update, or ad that you see.

Related: The real reason why you’re distracted has nothing to do with technology 

5. CHECK IN WITH AN ACCOUNTABILITY BUDDY

When we’re unproductive, we often feel shame, despair, and frustration. Even though we know these days happen, we end up dwelling in our negative feelings rather than moving forward.

An accountability buddy is someone who holds no judgments and provides a listening ear. It’s someone you can check in with and give an update on your progress (good or bad). The best part is, when you say your goals out loud, they become a lot more real. There’s someone else to hold you to them. They’re cheering you on and encouraging you when you veer off track.

If you don’t already have an accountability buddy (official or unofficial) in your life, it’s time to find that person. It can be a coworker, an industry colleague, a classmate, or a friend. Whoever it is, remember that the dynamic goes both ways–they support you, and you support them, too.

Most importantly, acknowledge that none of us are productive 100% of the time. It’s not about trying to be perfect. It’s about how you handle an unproductive day when it comes your way.

FastCompany.com | May 31, 2018 | BY HARPER SPERO—CAREER CONTESSA 5 MINUTE READ

#Leadership : How To Get Better At Saying “No” ….You Don’t Have to Let the Guilty Voice in your Head Get the Best of You.

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You’re running around with a million things to do, and you’ve barely made a dent in your to-do list. Then someone asks you to take on a project you definitely don’t have time for, and you answer “yes” without thinking.

Learning to say “no” is an ongoing challenge, but it’s a skill you can refine every day. Just like you diligently polish your writing and presentation prowess, you need to apply the same level of discipline when it comes to declining a request or invitation.

Related:What Happened When I Avoided Saying “No Problem” For A Month

WHY IT’S SO HARD TO SAY NO

Why is it that saying “no” can feel socially awkward and disingenuous? When Fast Company‘s Michael Grothaus tracked how many times he said “yes” and “no” in a week, he found that he said “no” twice but responded “yes” to over 50 requests. “I say ‘yes’ to everything because I don’t want to come across as mean, lazy, boring, or uncaring,” Grothaus wrote in 2015.

You might feel similarly without even realizing it. Here’s a possible thought you might have (subconsciously or otherwise): “If I say that I can’t help with my team’s annual charity food drive, I’m pushing work onto others who are likely as busy as me.” You’re assuming that if you decline, you’re being impolite, so you really should just help out because others are, and it’s the right thing to do.

The thing is, that “should” indicates that you’re prioritizing being polite over being genuine. You’ve probably experienced that burdened feeling other times you’ve wanted to turn something down. Rather than going with your gut, you say “yes,” and then immediately feel the conflict. It’s sometimes helpful to ask, “If I don’t do this, will it matter in three weeks, three months, three years from now?” This way, you’ll get a more accurate picture of whether your lack of participation is genuinely critical.

It might not feel like it, but you’re largely in control of how busy you are. When you accept a meeting or an assignment that you don’t really have the bandwidth for, you might escape the discomfort of expressing your regrets but you give up the time to think, rejuvenate, and take care of yourself.

Related:These Are The Five Times You Should Say “No” To An Opportunity

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WHEN TO SAY “YES” AND WHEN TO SAY “NO”

It helps to have a definitive system to be able to say “no” in a way that feels right. One thing you can do is create a list of your top priorities, and only say yes to projects that move you closer to them. Personally, I find it helpful to run through a mental checklist before accepting anything. Here are the questions I usually ask myself:

  • Is this urgent, or can it wait?
  • Can someone else besides me do it?
  • If I say “yes” to this, what am I saying “no” to?

If it does become clear that you should say no, remember that you don’t have to provide an explanation. Just be upfront, polite, genuine, and, if appropriate, offer an alternative solution. Here’s a good example: “I wish I could meet, but I don’t have a lot of free time this quarter. Would a quick phone call work instead? Let me know, I’d like to help.”

If you’re prone to overcommitting, this approach can help you determine what to take on and what to decline. I also like to keep in mind the following quote from entrepreneur Derek Sivers: “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.” As Grothaus pointed out, the outcome of saying no is seldom as bad as what you think it might be: “The sky won’t fall, your family won’t stop loving you, and your boss won’t fire you–heck, everyone will probably respect you and your time more if you say ‘no’ more often.”

Mikaela Kiner is the founder and CEO of uniquelyHR, providing fast-growth companies including startups and scale-ups with flexible HR services. You can find her on Twitter @uniquelyHR or LinkedIn.

 

FastCompany.com | April 24, 2018 | BY MIKAELA KINER 3 MINUTE READ

#Leadership : Here’s What I Learned About Myself When I Tracked Every Hour Of My Day… I Do a Full Day’s Work, but it Turns Out I’m Wasting more Time on #SocialMedia (and not getting enough sleep) than I Thought.

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Over the holidays I spoke with a friend who had just finished an interesting experiment: She spent a few weeks writing down the amount of time she spent daily doing both productive and unproductive things. At the end of her experiment, she was shocked to find how much time she was actually wasting on things like “quickly” checking social media.  I was inspired to undertake the same experiment to see if I’m really as productive as I think, or if I’m wasting time.

Related: 10 Time-Tracking Apps That Will Make You More Productive

So I decided to track everything I did every day for one workweek. My method was simple: I jotted down on paper how much time I had spent doing various tasks as soon as I finished them. I did not look at these times until the end of the week, as I didn’t want to influence a change in my behavior as I was doing this experiment. At the end of the week, I slotted all the events into the categories below, and then added up the times for each day, and then the entire week.

The amount of time listed below are the daily averages for the entire workweek.

DOING ACTUAL WORK: 8.5 HOURS A DAY

Might as well start off with my strengths. I was relieved to find I don’t appear to be a slacker. I work from home, and I spend 8.5 hours of my day, on average, doing actual work. In my case, this mostly involves writing. But as a journalist, a lot of my work doesn’t just involve the physical act of writing. I’m in one of the few occupations that can say browsing the web and social media for research is actually part of my duties.

My 8.5-hour workday involved five hours of writing and 3.5 hours doing work-related research online. That’s not bad, but sadly, the time I spend on social media doesn’t end with my workday.

Related: The Exact Amount Of Time You Should Work Every Day

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WALKING: 3 HOURS A DAY

I take three one-hour walks a day: one before work, one halfway through my workday, and then one later at night. While I do take these walks for health-related purposes, I also take them for work-related purposes. There’s just something about walking that helps spur my creativity to generate words and ideas for new stories–something studies support.

RUNNING ERRANDS: 1 HOUR A DAY

On average, I found I spend about an hour a day doing errands. This can include things like managing finances and invoices, doing laundry, and cleaning the house. I actually thought the amount of time I spent on errands would be higher, but technology means that I don’t have to waste time doing things like running to the bank.

COOKING/EATING: 1 HOUR A DAY

My average time spent both cooking and eating during a workday is only one hour. I eat three meals a day, and considering each meal takes me about 10 minutes to make, that means I only spend 10 minutes per meal actually eating my food. Yep, I scarf my food down fast–something that isn’t good for you. I should, in fact, be spending 20 minutes enjoying each meal (not counting the 10-minute prep time each meal takes).

INTERNET AND SOCIAL MEDIA: 2.5 HOURS

I found that I  waste a whopping 2.5 hours of every workday playing around on social media and browsing the web just because it’s there. Sadly, that’s actually more than most people across the world do. The global average is closer to 2.25 hours. Further, considering I already spend 3.5 hours of my workday on the internet and social media sites doing work-related tasks, this is a horrible metric for me.  Since staring at a screen and spending a lot of time on social media may actually be detrimental to our mental health, this is one area my findings say I need to reallocate time from to other more important areas of my life (like taking the time to enjoy meals).

RELAXING: 2 HOURS A DAY

This category includes things like reading a physical book, meeting a friend for a coffee, and watching television. These two hours of downtime usually always come before I go to bed for the night and, unlike wasting time browsing people’s pictures of food on Instagram, actually have a beneficial effect on our well-being.

SLEEP: 6 HOURS A DAY

Finally, we get to sleep. That critical state our bodies require every night. During a workweek I found I averaged about six hours a night. That’s not bad–but still less than the 7-9 hours most experts recommend.

Related: The Perils Of Time Tracking

SO, WHAT DOES THIS ALL TELL ME?

Overall, my unscientific experiment shows I’m generally a productive guy when it comes to my professional work (a good thing, since I write about productivity so much). However, I found I am wasting more time than I thought. Had you asked me before my experiment how much time I spent on social media and the web outside of work, I would have guessed maybe 30 to 60 minutes a day. The fact is, it is fives times that lower figure: All those “quick” checks of my social media apps add up to a lot of time over the course of the day.

My experiment also revealed that I need to spend more time enjoying my meals instead of scarfing them down, and that I should probably get at least an extra hour of sleep each night. Where could I find the extra, say, two hours, for that? You guessed it: from the time I spend wasting on social media.

So for me, it’s time to make a change. After all, the clock’s ticking.

FastCompany.com | January 24, 2018

#Leadership : Time Management Experts Share Their Secrets For Staying Productive During The Holidays…An Overloaded Calendar can Make December Feel Like the Least Productive Time of Year. But with Some Small Shifts, it Doesn’t Have to Be.

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It may be the most wonderful time of the year, but it’s also the busiest. Chances are your social obligations are picking up as well as your off-hours tasks. How do you get everything done without sacrificing productivity at work?
Free- Holiday Dinner

It might not feel like it, but it’s possible to meet goals, beat deadlines, and keep your clients happy during the holiday season, says productivity consultant Peggy Duncan. It just takes time and task management. Here are six ideas for being productive at work during the holiday season:

1. INFUSE HOLIDAY SPIRIT INTO YOUR WORK

Set a few goals that you want to achieve by the end of the year, then break them down into 25 specific tasks, suggests Lisa Zaslow, founder of Gotham Organizers, a New York-based professional organizing consultant. “Use an advent calendar to reward yourself when you hit your milestones,” she says.

Also, take a tip from Santa and make lists, checking them twice, Zaslow says. For example, plan your holiday preparations so you can be fully present and productive while you’re working. “If you’re constantly Googling for gift ideas while trying to finish your year-end report, you won’t be effective at either task,” she says.

 

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2. SET INTENTIONS

Decide ahead of time the experience you wish to have during the holiday season, says Peter Bregman, author of Four Seconds: All the Time You Need to Replace Counter-Productive Habits with Ones That Really Work.

“Do you want undistracted time with the family? Do you want to spend just 30 minutes a day checking email and disconnect the rest of the time?” he asks.

Decide the outcome you want and set an intention. Then create the physical environment that makes it more likely that you will follow through on your intention.

“If you want undistracted time with the family, leave your computer and phone [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][behind]. Or if that’s impossible, disconnect your phone from email,” says Bregman.

3. DECIDE WHAT YOU DON’T WANT TO DO

Just say no to the things that you don’t want to do, says Carson Tate, author of Work Simply: Embracing the Power of Your Personal Productivity Style. For example, no holiday parties the week before Christmas, no end-of-the-year business newsletter, no office secret Santa.

“Who says you have to do everything?” she asks. “You do not. Release any guilt about saying no. Every time you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else.”

Instead, say yes to the things that bring you joy and no to the things that suck the life right out of you and turn you into Scrooge, says Tate.

4. MAINTAIN YOUR PACE

Don’t get swept up into a manic pace just because it’s the holidays, says Andrew Mellen, author of Unstuff Your Life. “I remain focused enough to keep my own pace, regardless of what is happening around me,” he says. “That allows me to get work done and still enjoy my downtime, rather than racing around day and night.”

5. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DOWNTIME

With more people out on vacation and fewer meetings and calls happening, use the opportunity to catch up on those tasks you never have time to do, such as filing, decluttering your desk, and planning for the new year to come, says Lorie Marrero, author of The Clutter Diet.

“Get even more purposeful by aligning with management to do an entire office clean-out day, with everyone joining in,” she suggests. “Wear jeans, order pizza for everyone, get extra shredding and recycling bins delivered, and make it happen.”

Or use the slow time to learn something new that could streamline your work going forward, adds Duncan. “This could include learning more about the software you use every day,” she says. “That’ll help you spend less time working, but get more done in the New Year.”

6. USE HOLIDAY PARTIES AS INCENTIVES

Instead of extra activities like holiday parties being a hindrance to productivity, they can be a productivity booster if you use them as incentives, says Elizabeth Grace Saunders, time coach and author of The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment.

“Give yourself certain task goals, like, ‘As soon as I finish this presentation, I can head out to the holiday mixer,’” she says. “The excitement about getting to the event as soon as possible can help you have extra focus and boost your speed at getting things done.”

 

FastCompany.com | STEPHANIE VOZZA | 12.13.16 5:17 AM

 

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#Leadership : 9 Business Tools for Working Smarter Instead of Harder…Working Hard is Good. Working Harder than you Need to Isn’t.

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Time is of the essence when you’re running a business. As an entrepreneur, you’re responsible for a variety of duties — content creation, trend tracking and finding leads, just to name a few. And there often isn’t enough time in the day to get everything on your checklist done. There is something to be said about hard work, but one thing is even better: working smart.

Free- Iphone with Gadgets

By leveraging certain small business tools, you can cut down on busywork and focus on creating results. Below are nine hand-picked tools that will help you work smart on your business.

1. Kajabi

Running an online business always takes more work than originally thought. Kajabi simplifies business launch and upkeep by allowing you to take on a number of tasks within one streamlined platform. Though it’s possible to build a landing page for a service-based business, Kajabi works best for those offering products — Kajabi’s features are ideal for selling goods, online courses and downloadable content. Users can “drip” content in planned intervals, accept built-in payments, register members, and more.

 

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2. ClearVoice.

In every business, there comes a time when the owner can’t continue to create all the site’s content on his or her own. You could dig through Upwork or Fiverr for freelancers, but if you’re really planning on working smart, ClearVoice is your best bet. ClearVoice essentially allows you to track popular content, then have content created to match each trend — all without the hassle of hiring your own writers.

Related: 8 Technology Trends Most Likely to Reach Widespread Adoption

You start by building an editorial calendar, then picking from a pool of vetted creatives who match your project. The ClearVoice writers build the content, the editors clean it up and you ultimately approve it for publishing. You get to “set and forget” content assignments until they’re done, and there’s no one to put on your payroll.

3. SpyFu.

A large part of marketing is identifying consumer trends and using them to your advantage. After all, how would sites like Buzzfeed ever have grown so successful without first realizing that people love silly videos and vibrant “listicles”? (It would have been nearly impossible.) Very few entrepreneurs have the time, though, to carefully track and graph trends on their own. Instead, SpyFu allows you to track industry trends, then determine where they came from. You simply type in a competitor’s URL and sit back while SpyFu organizes the data. In moments, you’re able to see how many organic keywords relate to that URL, the site’s estimated monthly SEO clicks, paid keywords, and more. You can even view who your competitor’s competitors are.

4. ClickFunnels.

If you thought finding customers was your biggest business battle, you thought wrong. One key to maximizing profit is building an effective sales funnel — a system that engages new customers and helps them discover more products and services than just the one they came for. Not only does this help customers feel more invested in your business, but it boosts sales, too. ClickFunnels is an excellent resource for business owners (new and seasoned) who are tired of building websites and email lists that do little to nothing for sales.

Related: 3 Ways to End Technology Distraction

With ClickFunnels, you’re able to build a beautiful and interactive landing page, an email auto-response system, split testing software and other components that work together to create the ultimate funnel. When leads visit your shiny new website, ClickFunnels will invite them to join your email list and view a number of products or services. When your customer is checking out, ClickFunnels will display commodities that complement their initial purchase, helping you boost sales. You can finally stop working so hard on engaging leads, and instead work smart on building your business.

5. Infusionsoft.

If automation is your business’s priority, Infusionsoft is the tool for you. This award-winning software helps business owners boost conversion rates, master ecommerce, effectively manage the sales process and most importantly, save time. It does so by collecting data about leads’ online behaviors, then scoring them in a way that allows you to prioritize “hot” leads over the rest. When you combine that with the Infusionsoft sales dashboard and analytics, you’ve got an online toolbox (complete with a mobile app) perfect for streamlining your business.

6. AdEspresso.

Facebook Ads may seem simple at first, but if you’ve tackled them before, you know they can be a bit intimidating. Whether you’re new to Facebook Ads or you’ve been using them for years, AdEspresso can improve the experience; the software focuses mainly on lowering ad costs and maximizing clicks. You start by creating an ad campaign in the AdEspresso Campaign Editor, then using extensive analytics to determine the effectiveness of the campaign. Once you’ve adjusted your campaign for a perfect fit, you can request periodic PDF reports. Another bit of good news? If you already use and love Hootsuite, you can use the two platforms together for maximum ad optimization.

7. Genius Scan.

Admit it — you loathe the frustration a bulky scanner can add to your day. Why fumble with office electronics when you could use your smartphone as a quick mobile scanner? Genius Scan is an iPhone and Android application that allows you to “scan” documents anywhere, then turn them into .JPEG and PDF files. Though many use the app for scanning documents, you can also use it to save and share those whiteboard brainstorming sessions and notes scribbled on napkins. The basic version of the app is free; the paid version of Genius Scan allows printing, touch ID, cloud export and other useful features.

8. Calm.

Stress is a natural part of entrepreneurship. Some business owners exercise to relieve the tension; others spend time with family or write in a journal. No matter your existing stress-relief regimen, Calm can help you feel even more… well, calm.

Related: 4 Technology Solutions Every Growing Business Needs to Consider

This browser and mobile application uses peaceful soundtracks and planned meditations to help with mindfulness and inner peace. Begin by selecting a soundtrack — you have quite a few choices, from “fireplace” to “sunset beach” — and then pick a guided meditation. (If you prefer to freestyle your meditations, you can set a timer within the app.) A gentle voice will lead you through breathing and thought exercises until you finally feel at ease.

9. IFTTT.

Sure, now you have a number of handy tools up your sleeve, but how can you use them together without clumsily jumping from one to the next? IFTTT was built to sync your favorite services (like news apps, social media, music, smart home toggles and more) within customizable “applets.” Each applet allows two or more services to work in tandem. With one, for example, you can automatically share Instagram photos to Facebook; with another you can set your Philips Hue lights to turn on automatically at sunset. IFTTT applets allow you to make the most of modern technology by letting every service, no matter how big or small, work together.

Not a tool, but a tip.

No amount of ingenious online tools can bring you success if you don’t know how to share your business with others. “Storytelling” is a crucial skill for every entrepreneur: it allows you to convey your business’s background and mission in a way that gets others emotionally invested. One great way to strengthen your storytelling skill is to attend one of The Campfire Effect’s workshops. These workshops teach you how to share five major pillars — who your business is made of, what they do, why they do it, how they do it and the resulting proof — in natural conversation and online. Because what says “working smart” more than conveying your message to people you’re already talking to?

Whether you’ve just launched your startup or you’ve been in business for years, you shouldn’t spend all of your energy working harder than you have to. The concept of “working smart, not hard” has several facets, but it all starts with using modern tools to your advantage. What websites, apps and software do you use to work smart on your business?

 

Entrepreneur.com | December 1, 2016 | Matthew Toren

 

#Strategy : 12 Tiny Transformations That Will Improve your Life…The Biggest Reminder of All, Is that Live in a Society Driven by Notions of Scarcity Where we’re Taught that There is Never Enough of Anything: Money, #Jobs, Natural Resources, Time, or #Success.

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Have you also realized that we often spend all day thinking about what we’ll do when we get home and then when we get home we spend all evening thinking about the next day?  The scary thing is, if we spend our lives this way, we never truly live. If we keep projecting ourselves into future scenarios that will never transpire the way we envision, we lose out on the only real opportunity to get closer to the life we dream about: the right now.

I can’t say it happened overnight.  I’ve been on a journey to achieve greater mindfulness and calmness for some time now, especially because it’s not something most of us can switch on or off and suddenly stop being a part of the “next!” generation whose answer to most things is to just keep scrolling, clicking, and updating to discover what’s better (and driving ourselves insane in the process).

 

With this prevailing mentality rushing us onto the next thing, I found it was a huge challenge to suddenly start paying attention to a simple but daunting exercise: keeping my body and mind in the same place at the same time.

Have you also realized that we often spend all day thinking about what we’ll do when we get home and then when we get home we spend all evening thinking about the next day?

The scary thing is, if we spend our lives this way, we never truly live. If we keep projecting ourselves into future scenarios that will never transpire the way we envision, we lose out on the only real opportunity to get closer to the life we dream about: the right now.

Once we understand that in each moment we’re being given the opportunity to actively create the life we want, minute by minute, day by day, then and only then can we truly begin to live.

This is where I’m at — the beginning of this understanding — and these are the 12 simple and transformative practices that have made the greatest difference in achieving a new-found personal happiness and sense of peace. They’ve helped me turn down the noise, feel more centered, and reignite my capacity for kindness and empathy.

Flickr/momentcaptured1

Leaving early for things.

I really don’t like when other people are late, and I really don’t like myself when I run late. The easiest remedy for this is to take control of the single aspect of our ever-more-flaky society that I’m actually able to control: my own behavior.

Leaving with plenty of time to arrive at my destination puts me at ease, knowing I’m doing the right thing by not making someone else wait on me, and I also have time to enjoy the journey there.

I’ll walk a new route, stop in a shop, and resist the urge to run if I hear the subway coming. Life can move so much slower if you allow time for it to do so.

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Flickr/Marco Klapper

Non-resistance in crowds and traffic.

Just let the other guy go first. Instead of pushing your way onto the train first, step aside and let others disembark. Instead of trying to merge aggressively ahead of traffic, let a couple cars pass first.

Life is only a combat zone if you contribute to it, so reduce your stress, think of these as acts of kindness, and let the busy-bodies get out of your way.

Try it for a day and see if you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders when you stop putting up a fight in these relatively unimportant situations.

Flickr/John Ragai

Incorporating acts of kindness into your diet.

Along with taking deep breaths and letting the lady on your right merge during rush hour, make an overall effort to be more kind. Kindness to others contributes to a sense of accountability to one another, which in turn helps manifest and maintain calmness.

I started with smiling at the person next to me on the subway when I sat down or holding doors for others without expecting a thank you. Then I moved on from strangers to loved ones: picking up the dinner tab, surprising mom with a little something, you get the idea.

A lot of people emphasize doing random acts of kindness for strangers, but it’s equally as (or even more) important for the people you care about most.

Flickr/Magic Madzik

Eating at a table.

It may sound silly, but one of the best things I’ve started doing is being mindful when I eat my meals.

I don’t multi-task, I don’t use my cell phone, I don’t take calls, I don’t have lunch at my desk, I don’t do my make-up during breakfast, I just sit and eat — even if I’m alone.

I also try to schedule meals with other people as often as possible. In his How to Live to 100 speech, Dan Buettner shares the all-important principle that our health hinges on more than just what we eat, but how and with whom we eat.

By all means, eat organic, increase your daily intake of fruits and vegetables, reduce sugar, meat, alcohol, and coffee, and eliminate processed foods, but also be conscious of food as a social and even meditative practice.

Matt/Flickr

Living well below my means and saving money.

Both of the greatest gurus of Western and Eastern civilization, Buddha and Aristotle, preached the principle of moderation as the key to happiness.

Andrew Carnegie, in “The Gospel of Wealth,” writes that the wealthy should view themselves as custodians of excess revenues and agents to act on behalf of their “poorer brethren.”

Ostentatious spending is wasteful, supports a contagious breed of consumerism, and offers no path to long-term happiness. A thoughtful savings regime promotes selective purchasing behavior that values money as a resource, not a quick-hit commodity.

Francisco Osorio/Flickr

Monitoring for self-defensive thoughts or actions.

Many people live life on the defense, which is a direct product of our ego, the part of the brain that houses the self-created concept of who we are and leads to feelings of scarcity and incompleteness.

It is always focused on the past or future and is perpetually seeking what it needs outside, creating a compelling future but not a compelling present.

It devotes its energy to proving who we (think we) are and defending ourselves against anyone who threatens that sense of self. It is based on separateness from everything else and everyone else. It creates “plans” for our happiness that come from money, fame, and success instead of what we already are.

We can be held hostage by our ego, driven often by fear, struggle, guilt, attachment, competition, and survival. Monitor for that kind of “ego thinking” and acknowledge and accept that areas of deep insecurity it usually reveals.

Flickr / Keirsten Marie

Eliminating TV watching and exposure to media advertisements.

Surveys show that heavy TV watchers are less happy on average than non-TV viewers and other studies have shown an inverse relationship between TV consumption and social trust, an important ingredient for a thriving society.

TV is addictive because, for the most part, it portrays a convincing mirage of reality where everyone is unrealistically better looking, funnier, more intelligent, and more successful. It’s harmful for our self-esteem and prevents us from engaging more deeply in our own imperfect, but present realities.

To the extent possible, I also try to limit my exposure to advertisements that promote purchasing things I don’t need or drawing false connections between material goods and values or outcomes.

Instead, I focus on my outlets for creation: writing, publishing, photography, and running a small business.

Flickr/Nicole April

Having an aggressive reading regimen.

Every day I read for a minimum of one hour before bed. When I’m traveling, this surges to 3 or 4 hours during the morning.

I stick to mostly non-fiction from reputable authors that educate me about something and prevent distraction by unimportant things: TV, social media (above maintaining my blog audience), fashion, many news headlines, and shopping.

A distracted society runs the risk of ignoring or underestimating the more powerful truths and challenges about our existence.

Flickr/Giuseppe Milo

Looking at problems differently.

The Buddha once said that everyone has 83 problems — and the 84th is our wish to have no problems.

Try this tactic the next time things don’t go your way, something one of my favorite authors, Nick Williams, advocates that instead of getting upset, ask yourself, “What am I being called to understand here? What would be the most loving and compassionate response in this situation?”

We can use challenges to either take us off track or to teach us love and forgiveness, so why not choose the latter?

Flickr/Minoru Nitta

Incorporating meditation into my daily life.

All the latest yoga and meditation rage is on to something: these practices work. I find meditation is kind of like going to the gym — you absolutely dread going at first, but you’re always glad you went and you even start craving it after awhile.

I read Thich Nhat Hanh’s book “The Miracle of Mindfulness,” which helped me get started, and now use the Headspace app to find a few minutes for quiet and observation every morning.

Flickr/ellyn.

Doing a daily gratitude exercise.

I’m not one of those people who keep a “gratitude diary” or anything quite so regimented, but taking a few moments to be thankful has gradually become an important part of my outlook and something I naturally remember to do when I’m feeling stressed, upset, or even when something wonderful is happening.

Thomson Reuters

Positively interpreting life’s gray areas.

This one’s my favorite, and we’re all guilty of failing here.

Think about the people laughing at the bar and vaguely looking in your direction — are they laughing at you? The guy you like who didn’t text all day — is he over you already? The lady who snapped at you for bumping into her on the train — what’s her problem?

All of these situations that offer no direct explanation are opportunities most people take to assume the worst, beat themselves up, and develop negative ideas about people around them.

Instead of being like most people, assume the best in people and interpret things positively: the bar-goers are just having a good time, your new crush is busy at work like everyone else, and the cranky lady might have a sick husband at home and deserves a dose of extra special kindness from you.

As Richard Bach says, teaching is simply reminding people of they already know.

And the biggest reminder of all, my friends, is that we live in a society driven by notions of scarcity where we’re taught that there is never enough of anything: money, jobs, natural resources, time, or success.

This is the opposite of what we need to do to be mindful, happy, and calm. Instead of looking around and seeing what’s lacking, we need to look at our lives and see the abundance of all that is already present. Once we do that, we can finally come alive.

Businessinsider.com | October 20, 2015 | Elaina Giolando, Life Before 30