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#Leadership : Day In The Life; Simple Ways To Turn A Bad Day Around…The Mind is Like a Muscle: It Requires Careful Maintenance or It’ll eventually be Pushed Beyond its Limit Sending You into Burnout Territory.

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Being a millennial entrepreneur comes with it’s fair share of emotional ups and downs. Some days your energy is high. Your creativity is on fire.  Other days? You find yourself in a motivational slump, wondering where that inspiration and focus disappeared to.

Melody Wilding Forbes Contributor

Let’s talk about bad days, because we all have them.

Recently I had one of those frustrating “off days”. My mood was low, my brain was foggy, and my inner critic was seriously acting up. Maybe you can relate. We’ve all been there at one time or another.

In the interest of having more honest conversations about work-life balance, happiness, and what it’s really like to be part of the side-hustle generation, I want to share how I lift myself out of a rut and rebound from a bad day.

When I’m feeling overwhelmed or uninspired, I first shift something in my surroundings. There’s science behind this seemingly simplistic approach: it’s been shown that a change of environment stimulates creativity.

 

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Luckily in New York City there’s no shortage of quirky, wifi-enabled places to work like the David Rubenstein Atrium at Lincoln Center–a spot my friend Jason Van Orden, a business strategy consultant, recently turned me on to.

The mind is like a muscle: it requires careful maintenance or it’ll eventually be pushed beyond its limit sending you into burnout territory. Focused thinking free from distractions and social media–what Georgetown University professor and author Cal Newport calls “deep work“– is essential on days where I’m feeling scattered. Working from a hidden haven like this secret garden in Central Park allows me to concentrate for an extended period of time.

When I step away from distractions and give myself space to think, my best work comes out.

A bad day tends to cast a cloud over everything and trigger negative feelings that make us see situations more pessimistically. When in the thick of a funk, I remind myself that while I may have bad moments, it’s not a bad life . A high point of my day was receiving this thoughtful card from my Mom. It was just what I needed to shift my attitude.

What also keeps me on track when a bad day threatens to take me off course is trusting the systems and structures I’ve put in place for the way I work. I’m a big fan of morning rituals and equally rely on evening routines, including zeroing my inbox and jotting down my number one priority to accomplish the next day. It ensures I hit the ground running tomorrow and helps me leave that funk far behind.

Now, I’d love to hear from you: What is your go-strategy for rebounding from a bad day at the office? What have you found effective for breaking out a motivational slump? Let me know in the comments or on Twitter at @MelodyWilding.

Melody J. Wilding helps ambitious women and female entrepreneurs master their inner psychology for success and happiness. Learn more about better career and life balance at melodywilding.com.Save

Forbes.com | August 10, 2016 | Melody Wilding Women Forbes

#Leadership : #ProductivePeople -5 Ways #SuccessfulPeople Tackle Monday Morning…Great REad!

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One of the most popular posts I’ve written on this blog is How Successful People Start Their Day. It seems like every Manager/Entrepreneur is interested in learning how to get ahead early. But starting every day isn’t the same as starting a Monday. Mondays are proven to be harder to face.

Free- Man reaching to Sun Rise

Many studies have shown that on Sunday afternoons, most people start to feel depressed. Maybe you’ve felt it. Work is coming. The weekend is over and it wasn’t all you imagined it would be. The pressure of another week of performance begins to hit early. There are hundreds of reasons why, but Sunday afternoon and evening is generally a downer.

No wonder Monday seems to be so, well… Monday.

Over the years, I’ve studied how people can ramp up for the work week. I’ve come to believe that there are not naturally “Monday” people, but that there are disciplines people follow that help them beat the Sunday blues and ramp up for the work week ahead.

  1. Sleep, but don’t snooze.

Managers/Entrepreneurs are notorious for burning the candle at both ends, but the National Sleep Foundation says that you cannot catch up on lost sleep. There may be no more important night to get rest than Sunday night, and no better remedy for Sunday blues than a solid night’s sleep. The Dalai Lama is quoted as saying, “Sleep is the best form of meditation.”

On the flip side, do NOT hit the snooze button. Dr. Rafael Pelayo of the Stanford Sleep Center says that by hitting the snooze button, you are telling your body “false alarm!” That results in a more groggy and slow wake up than if you just went ahead and got up when the alarm goes off. Monday is enough of a drag on its own. Hitting snooze only digs a deeper hole for you to climb out of.

 

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  1.  Get Physical.

Getting the body in its proper state often precedes the mind and emotions coming its way. If there’s any day this is most true, it is Monday.

An article by Ron Friedman of Harvard Business Review sites countless studies that show exercise not only motivates and improves work performance, but also pulls us out of a slump. One study found that when a group of people suffering from mild to moderate depression exercised (i.e. strength training, running or walking) for at least 20 to 60 minutes 3 times a week, they were significantly less depressed 5 weeks later. The benefits were immediate and were maintained for these participants as long as they consistently exercised.

I’ve taken this message to heart and have made it a practice to never take both Sunday and Monday off from working out. If I do skip Sunday, Monday morning workouts are a must.

Want to beat the Sunday blues? This Monday, get out the door and walk or run.

It doesn’t have to be a P90X workout. Cosmopolitan Editor-In-Chief Joanna Coles makes a Monday walk with her dog a must and says it helps her start her week. Many of my best ideas have come on Monday morning walks with Moses, Vanderbloemen Search Group’s Chief Canine Officer.

Mondays can leave you low on energy and more unwilling to workout than normal. Here’s an old trick I’ve used on myself for years:

I lie to myself.

I’ll head out the door saying “I’m only running 10 minutes, then I’m quitting.” Turns out, I have never wanted to quit once I was out the door and moving for 10 minutes. And I almost always felt better afterward. By releasing some stress, and some endorphins, you will likely kick your body out of the funk Monday can bring.

  1. Keep email in check until you get to the office.

Dave Karp, CEO and Founder of Tumblr, says that he will not respond to email until he gets to the office. I’ve found this to be especially effective for Mondays. The beginning of the week is the time when you set your mental state for the week. Stay focused on the big projects ahead and devote brain power there. The distractive power of email can take your brain away from big planning and into minutia that can wait. Honestly, when is the last time you had a Monday email that had to be dealt with right away?

  1. Never quit (or make big decisions) on a Monday.

There’s an old saying, “Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.” That couldn’t be more true than on Mondays.

In our work helping churches find their key staff, Monday is the number one day for resumes to come to us unsolicited. People get bummed out on Sunday afternoon or evening, come into work Monday, and decide that they have had enough. After working with tens of thousands of candidates, we have come to believe that Monday is the number one day people quit their job.

But quitting on a day you’re down is a really bad idea. In fact, making any major decisions when depressed is almost always counterproductive and later regretted.

Making major decisions on the day when you’re down can have serious consequences. Most big decisions can wait until Tuesday, particularly if you start to shape your schedule around the idea.

When I was younger (read, when I knew everything) and leading churches, I thought it was a great idea to start Monday with marathon meetings filled with big agendas and decisions. I even scheduled our board and committee meetings for Monday nights. I was dead wrong.  Turns out, not every day was designed for intense decisions.

  1. Schedule work that has tangible results on Mondays.

Just like working out will help you out of the low points, so will working on projects where you can see immediate results.

Behavioral Psychologist Kelly Lambert has done a lot of research that shows handiwork can pull us out of depressed moments. When we knit a scarf, for instance, Lambert says, the brain’s executive-thinking centers get busy planning.

Spend your Mondays with a punch list of attainable goals.

Do tasks and projects that can be completed and have a box to check. Maybe it’s organizing your desk, planning a month of your calendar, writing notes of encouragement to staff, or knocking out some of those menial tasks you never seem to “have time for.” I have learned to keep a running “Monday punchlist” throughout the week so that I have some projects ready to go before I ever get to the office. If you’re anything like me, you will find that finishing a to-do list will do wonders for your soul.

I’m sure there are other tips out there for getting out of a low spot, and maybe some of you don’t suffer from post-Sunday Blues. But if you do, know that you’re not alone, and that they will pass.

I know when I was preaching, as much as I loved it, I often thought, “Sunday seems to come around every seven days!”

The good news is, Tuesday does, too.

 

Forbes.com | March 13, 2016 | William Vanderbloemen

#Leadership : Why Attitude Is More Important Than IQ. Which Side of the Chart you Fall on?…By Keeping Track of How you Respond to the Little Things, You can Work every Day to Keep Yourself on the Right Side of the Chart.

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When it Comes to Success, it’s Easy to Think that People Blessed with Brains are Inevitably Going to Leave the Rest of Us in the Dust. But New Research from Stanford University will Change your Mind (& your Attitude).

Psychologist Carol Dweck has spent her entire career studying attitude and performance, and her latest study shows that your attitude is a better predictor of your success than your IQ.Dweck found that people’s core attitudes fall into one of two categories: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.

Free- Direction Rail Tracks

With a fixed mindset, you believe you are who you are and you cannot change. This creates problems when you’re challenged because anything that appears to be more than you can handle is bound to make you feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

People with a growth mindset believe that they can improve with effort. They outperform those with a fixed mindset, even when they have a lower IQ, because they embrace challenges, treating them as opportunities to learn something new.

Common sense would suggest that having ability, like being smart, inspires confidence. It does, but only while the going is easy. The deciding factor in life is how you handle setbacks and challenges. People with a growth mindset welcome setbacks with open arms.

According to Dweck, success in life is all about how you deal with failure. She describes the approach to failure of people with the growth mindset this way,

“Failure is information—we label it failure, but it’s more like, ‘This didn’t work, and I’m a problem solver, so I’ll try something else.’”

Regardless of which side of the chart you fall on, you can make changes and develop a growth mindset. What follows are some strategies that will fine-tune your mindset and help you make certain it’s as growth oriented as possible.

Don’t stay helpless. We all hit moments when we feel helpless. The test is how we react to that feeling. We can either learn from it and move forward or let it drag us down. There are countless successful people who would have never made it if they had succumbed to feelings of helplessness: Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas,” Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a TV anchor in Baltimore for being “too emotionally invested in her stories,” Henry Ford had two failed car companies prior to succeeding with Ford, and Steven Spielberg was rejected by USC’s Cinematic Arts School multiple times. Imagine what would have happened if any of these people had a fixed mindset. They would have succumbed to the rejection and given up hope. People with a growth mindset don’t feel helpless because they know that in order to be successful, you need to be willing to fail hard and then bounce right back.

 

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Be passionate. Empowered people pursue their passions relentlessly. There’s always going to be someone who’s more naturally talented than you are, but what you lack in talent, you can make up for in passion. Empowered people’s passion is what drives their unrelenting pursuit of excellence. Warren Buffet recommends finding your truest passions using, what he calls, the 5/25 technique: Write down the 25 things that you care about the most. Then, cross out the bottom 20. The remaining 5 are your true passions. Everything else is merely a distraction.

Take action. It’s not that people with a growth mindset are able to overcome their fears because they are braver than the rest of us; it’s just that they know fear and anxiety are paralyzing emotions and that the best way to overcome this paralysis is to take action. People with a growth mindset are empowered, and empowered people know that there’s no such thing as a truly perfect moment to move forward. So why wait for one? Taking action turns all your worry and concern about failure into positive, focused energy.

Then go the extra mile (or two). Empowered people give it their all, even on their worst days. They’re always pushing themselves to go the extra mile. One of Bruce Lee’s pupils ran three miles every day with him. One day, they were about to hit the three-mile mark when Bruce said, “Let’s do two more.” His pupil was tired and said, “I’ll die if I run two more.” Bruce’s response? “Then do it.” His pupil became so angry that he finished the full five miles. Exhausted and furious, he confronted Bruce about his comment, and Bruce explained it this way: “Quit and you might as well be dead. If you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there; you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”

If you aren’t getting a little bit better each day, then you’re most likely getting a little worse—and what kind of life is that?

Expect results. People with a growth mindset know that they’re going to fail from time to time, but they never let that keep them from expecting results. Expecting results keeps you motivated and feeds the cycle of empowerment. After all, if you don’t think you’re going to succeed, then why bother?

Be flexible. Everyone encounters unanticipated adversity. People with anempowered, growth-oriented mindset embrace adversity as a means for improvement, as opposed to something that holds them back. When an unexpected situation challenges an empowered person, they flex until they get results.

Don’t complain when things don’t go your way. Complaining is an obvious sign of a fixed mindset. A growth mindset looks for opportunity in everything, so there’s no room for complaints.

Bringing It All Together

By keeping track of how you respond to the little things, you can work every day to keep yourself on the right side of the chart above.

Do you have a growth mindset? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

 

Forbes.com | January 19, 2016 | Travis Bradberry

 

#Leadership : 7 Steps to Increasing your #Resilience … #Adversity Happens. That’s a Given. How you Deal with It is the Difference between Merely Surviving or Thriving.

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Being resilient doesn’t mean waltzing though life stress- and pain-free.

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http://www.businessinsider.com/7-steps-to-increasing-your-resilience-2015-11

#Leadership : 24 Ways to Influence Even the Most Resistant People…Influencing Others is How we Get Jobs & Promotions, Win Negotiations, Sell Products, & Gain Notoriety.

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Seduction, persuading a person to yield to your advances, isn’t used only in the pursuit of a love interest. Influencing others is how we get jobs and promotions, win negotiations, sell products, and gain notoriety.

 

Frank Underwood offers Viktor Petrov his hand in “House of Cards.”

In “The Art of Seduction,” popular author Robert Greene explores the ruthless tactics of some of history’s greatest seducers, from Cleopatra to Casanova.

We’ve summarized Greene’s 24 rules of seduction below.

 

1. Choose the right victim.

Your target should be someone “for whom you can fill a void,” Greene says. Don’t try to get the most out of those who are too eager to please you, because they are usually looking to get something in return; instead, find those who give subtle hints, like shyness in your presence, that they are open to your influence.

2. Create a false sense of security — approach indirectly.

If you want to initiate a relationship with someone who would be of value to you, you risk forcing them to raise their guard if you approach them and immediately ask for something. Before making a proposal, reach out to them via a third party, or develop a neutral or friendly relationship before making it about business.

 

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3. Send mixed signals.

“Game of Thrones”/HBO

Peter Baelish is one of the most conniving characters in “Game of Thrones.”

Once you’ve got someone hooked, give yourself an air of mystery to keep that person’s interest. Don’t reveal too much about your background or your intentions.

4. Appear to be an object of desire.

Don’t make a fool of yourself, but don’t be humble when you’re trying to win someone over. Show off your most important connections and successes.

5. Create a need — stir anxiety and discontent.

People cannot be seduced if they’re content. Sell yourself by illustrating ways in which the other party is lacking in some respect and then reveal how you can make up for that deficiency.

6. Master the art of insinuation.

“Game of Thrones”/HBO

Cersei enjoyed a reign of power in “Game of Thrones.”

If you’re too straightforward with people you’re trying to influence, you may scare them away or even turn them against you. The best way to get people to work in your favor, Greene says, is by subtly dropping hints over time without revealing your true intentions. That way you can make your target think he or she is acting on his or her own initiative.

7. Enter their spirit.

If you’re trying to change people’s minds, first play by their rules. Begin by becoming a mirror, and they will open up to you.

8. Create temptation.

20th Century Fox

Cleopatra was able to maintain power by seducing both Julius Caesar and Mark Antony.

Determine what your target’s weakness is, and play to it. Find an ideal that this person is trying to realize “and hint that you can lead them to it,” Greene writes.

9. Keep them in suspense.

The moment people think they know what to expect from you is when your hold over them is broken. Keep their interest in you with the occasional surprise.

10. Use the power of words.

Justin Sullivan/Getty

People pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars to hear Tony Robbins give one of his dramatic speeches.

If you are giving a presentation, for example, goad the audience onto your side by telling them what they want to hear. Make your argument convincing by making it enjoyable.

11. Pay attention to detail.

Entice your target by making painstaking decisions look effortless.

12. Poeticise your presence.

You will not win people over if you are a nagging constant in their lives. Associate yourself with enjoyable experiences so that your target misses you when you’re gone.

13. Disarm through strategic weakness and vulnerability.

“The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers”/New Line Cinema

Grima Wormtongue was a manipulative villain in “The Lord of the Rings.”

Rather than overpower your target, set aside your ego and communicate how the other side is in a dominant position, even if it isn’t exactly true.

14. Confuse desire and reality — the perfect illusion.

“Remember: people want to believe in the extraordinary,” Greene writes. Make whatever you’re trying to sell sound dramatic yet rooted in reality.

15. Isolate the victim.

People are most vulnerable when they are shut off from everything around them. Make others feel like they are the only person who matters.

 

16. Prove yourself.

Anton Raphael Mengs (1759)

Giacomo Casanova was an adventurous Italian socialite who wrote about his many affairs with women.

If your target begins to become insecure and pulls back from you, demonstrate your value by going out of your way to help him or her in some way.

17. Effect a regression.

Your targets will have had similar relationships that worked well for them. Figure out what they liked most about these previous experiences and do things to evoke memories of them.

18. Stir up the transgressive and taboo.

Even the most clean-cut people have a curiosity of the forbidden. You do not need to be doing anything wrong to make the other side feel as if they are working in a nebulous area — that can mean something as simple as hinting that a deal you are offering is so great that it is unprecedented and needs to be kept secret.

19. Use spiritual lures.

You run the risk of cheapening your words if they all lead to a singular goal, whether that be getting a job or selling a product. Supplement them with moral ideals that make your aim seem more important than it is.

20. Mix pleasure with pain.

Reuters

Spanish bullfights are thrilling and violent.

Avoid being overly polite with your target, which can have the unintended consequence of making you seem insincere and insecure. Mix complimentary language with blunt, straightforward insight.

21. Give them space.

When the other side is on your side but has become used to you, re-create interest by taking a step back and having them chase you.

22. Use physical lures.

Keep your target focused on you by making yourself as attractive as possible, dressing nicely, smiling, and speaking with confidence.

23. Master the art of the bold move.

When your target has demonstrated that he or she is definitely interested in you, make a final offensive move, stating your intended goal. End with a natural, bold finish, rather than awkwardly or timidly avoiding what you really want, Greene says.

24. Beware of the aftereffects.

Netflix

Kevin Spacey as Frank Underwood in “House of Cards.”

Once you have succeeded in your seduction, employ variations of the above tactics to certain degrees to keep the other side from taking you for granted and making you disposable.

 

Businessinsider.com | September 29, 2015 | Richard Feloni

#Leadership : 12 Habits That Set Ultra Successful People Apart…These Habits Can Make Any of Us More Successful If We Use them Every Day. Give Them a Try & See Where They Take You.

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Ultra successful people delight themselves by blowing their personal goals out of the water. They succeed along many different dimensions of life—their friendships, their physical and mental health, their families, and their jobs (which they are not only good at but also enjoy).

 

TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that ultra successful people have a lot in common. In particular, 90% of them are skilled at managing their emotions in order to stay focused, calm, and productive.

These super successful folks have high emotional intelligence (EQ), a quality that’s critical to achieving your dreams.

While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that ultra successful people employ to reach their goals, what follows are twelve of the best. Some of these may seem obvious, but the real challenge lies in recognizing when you need to use them and having the wherewithal to actually do so.

1. They’re Composed

Ultra successful people are composed because they constantly monitor their emotions, they understand them, and they use this knowledge in the moment to react to challenging situations with self-control. When things go downhill, they are persistently calm and frustratingly content (frustrating to those who aren’t, at least). They know that no matter how good or bad things get, everything changes with time. All they can do is adapt and adjust to stay happy and in control.

 2. They’re Knowledgeable

Super successful people know more than others do because they’re constantly working to increase their self-awareness. They vow constant growth. Whenever they have a spare moment, they fill it with self-education. They don’t do this because it’s “the right thing to do”; they do it because it’s their passion. They’re always looking for opportunities to improve and new things to learn about themselves and the world around them. Instead of succumbing to their fear of looking stupid, truly exceptional people just ask the questions on their mind, because they would rather learn something new than appear smart.

 

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3. They’re Deliberate

Ultra successful people reach decisions by thinking things out, seeking advice from others, and sleeping on it. They know that (as studies show) impulsively relying too much on gut-instinct is ineffective and misleading. Being able to slow down and logically think things through makes all the difference.

4. They Speak with Certainty

It’s rare to hear super successful people utter things like “Um,” “I’m not sure,” and “I think.” Successful people speak assertively because they know that it’s difficult to get people to listen to you if you can’t deliver your ideas with conviction.

5. They Use Positive Body Language

Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) draws people to you like ants to a picnic. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that super successful people use to draw others in. Positive body language makes all the difference in a conversation because how you say something can be more important than what you say.

6. They Leave a Strong First Impression

Research shows that most people decide whether or not they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. They then spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction. This may sound terrifying, but by knowing this, you can take advantage of it to make huge gains in how people respond to you. First impressions are tied intimately to positive body language. A strong posture, a firm handshake, a smile, and open shoulders help ensure that your first impression is a good one.

7. They Seek Out Small Victories

Successful people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield only small victories. Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases their confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you achieve a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months.

8. They’re Fearless

Fear is nothing more than a lingering emotion that’s fueled by your imagination.Danger is real. It’s the uncomfortable rush of adrenaline you get when you almost step in front of a bus. Fear is a choice. Exceptional people know this better than anyone does, so they flip fear on its head. Instead of letting fear take over, they are addicted to the euphoric feeling they get from conquering their fears.

9. They’re Graceful

Graceful people are the perfect combination of strong and gentle. They don’t resort to intimidation, anger, or manipulation to get a point across because their gentle, self-assured nature gets the job done. The word gentle often carries a negative connotation (especially in the workplace), but in reality, it’s the gentleness of being graceful that gives ultra successful people their power. They’re approachable, likeable, and easy to get along with—all qualities that make people highly amenable to their ideas.

 10. They’re Honest

Super successful people trust that honesty and integrity, though painful at times, always work out for the best in the long run. They know that honesty allows for genuine connections with people in a way that dishonesty can’t and that lying always comes back to bite you in the end. In fact, a Notre Dame study showed that people who often lied experienced more mental health problems than their more honest counterparts.

11. They’re Grateful

Ultra successful people know that it took a lot of ambition, passion, and hard work to get where they are in life. They also know that their mentors, colleagues, families, and friends all played a huge role in their success. Instead of basking in the glory of achievement, super successful people recognize others for the wonderful things they’ve done for them.

12. They’re Appreciative

Truly exceptional people are able to achieve so much because they know the importance of slowing down and appreciating everything they already have. They know that a huge amount of their positivity, grit, and motivation comes from their ability to stay grounded and appreciate the opportunities that life has given them thus far.

Bringing It All Together

These habits can make any of us more successful if we use them every day. Give them a try and see where they take you.

What other habits set ultra successful people apart? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Travis co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-foundedTalentSmart, the world’s #1 provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving 75% of Fortune 500 Companies.

 

Forbes.com | September 22, 2015 | Travis Bradberry