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#YourCareer : The Psychology Of Persuasion: Get What You Want More Often. Communication is Critical to Successful Negotiations.

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Psychology has become increasingly mainstream in recent years, with enormous attention being paid to how our psychologies, often unconsciously, influence how we behave in professional spaces as well.

The relevance of psychology to negotiation is especially important. On the surface, it may appear that we are negotiating prices, terms and conditions but it really all comes down to the need for both parties to come to one shared opinion or solution. That said, in negotiation it’s critical to understand the psychology behind opinions. This can form the foundation for a successful outcome.

Understanding Attitudes

In the research, psychologists will often refer to opinions as “attitudes.” In this context, an attitude can be anything from a strong moral conviction around a particular social issue, to a preference for one brand of coffee over the other. Attitudes are important for two reasons: they can be durable and they influence behavior.

Sticking to the coffee example, generally speaking people tend to have fairly strong opinions about the beverage. Usually, people either love it or hate it, and coffee drinkers typically have a preference for a particular blend or brand. A daily Starbucks drinker may have a particularly durable attitude, meaning it could be difficult to persuade them to switch to McDonalds or Tim Hortons on their morning commute. Similarly, there may be hints of influence as well. When out of town or traveling, they may find themselves seeking a Starbucks or even purchasing Starbucks brand instant coffee at the grocery store.

 

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Why Strength Matters

Not all opinions or attitudes are equal. While a particular attitude can influence behavior, it’s the strength of the attitude that will determine how much influence it will ultimately have.

Politics is a good example. If a citizen has a strong attitude in favor of a candidate, there is a higher chance that they will actually vote for them. If their attitude is weak, they may show a preference in conversations (or on surveys) but not actually take the action to vote that candidate into office.

This thought process applies to almost all attitudes, so in negotiations it’s important to uncover your counterpart’s attitudes and the strength of each one. This information can help negotiators identify which opinions are flexible and can be addressed and which should be avoided due to their durability.

Using the Right Language

Communication is critical to successful negotiations, and using the right language is equally important to navigating attitudes and opinions. Talking the same “language” is necessary to reaching an agreement. This means looking beyond the superficial opinions on a topic, and finding the underlying attitudes that align.

For example, let’s say two people sit down. One chooses to consume dairy as a part of their diet and the other person does not. On the surface, it may appear that they disagree. That said, perhaps there is a shared attitude around the importance of health and feeling good. Person A avoids dairy because it makes them feel bloated and ultimately they don’t believe it’s healthy for their system. Person B consumes dairy because they see it as a nutritious and healthy part of a diet that will keep them strong.

Talking the “health” language may help bring these two individuals to a common resolution, as opposed to focusing on the surface topic of dairy—where they disagree.

Incorporating Empathy

Empathy is a super-power, and using it to understand attitudes in negotiation will almost always improve outcomes. Once again, it all starts with asking questions to identify what attitudes and opinions your counterpart possesses, and how strong each of those attitudes are. Core attitudes are more durable, so it may not be worth attempting to dissuade people away from them; however, it’s still possible to demonstrate empathy for why they feel so strongly. For weaker opinions, in the process of moving towards a common resolution, incorporating empathy can be key. Allow empathy to help you explore your counterpart’s perspective and what they are truly looking to accomplish through these negotiations.

Attitudes and opinions play a huge role in the everyday behaviors of individuals, making them necessary to consider for successful negotiations and conflict resolution. Begin by asking questions and taking time to understand where your counterpart has strong attitudes and where there may be flexibility to begin moving toward a common ground.

 

Forbes.com | March 13, 2022 | Kwame Christian

15 Smart Negotiating Techniques For Business Professionals.

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Coming to a consensus and closing a deal both rely heavily on the ability to negotiate. Business professionals utilize negotiation both with employees and investors, whether it’s in negotiating their salary or discussing future investments.

Negotiation isn’t a skill that arises from nothing, however. It requires a technique to properly execute and usually demands understanding of the other person to some extent.

The genuinely great negotiators always get what they want, while offering the other side enough to compromise on without losing faith in the deal. To aid professionals that have to navigate the treacherous routes of business agreements, 15 contributors to Forbes Coaches Council examine their best negotiation techniques.

1. Build Rapport First

In addition to being a business owner or professional, you are a human being. Human beings like to work with people they know, like and trust. Rapport is critical in the negotiation process because, when done correctly, it fosters trust, understanding and communication. The best negotiators know that building rapport first helps ensure they get what they want and that without it, they may not. – Lori A. Manns, Quality Media Consultant Group LLC

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2. Offer Something Of Value

Successful negotiation is about getting everyone to feel like they’ve won. If, for example, you’ve been offered a desirable job but wish to negotiate salary, make it worth an employer’s effort by offering something of value. Couching a reasonable request for a higher salary with, “If you can meet me on this, I’ll sign the offer today,” can give an employer a compelling reason to go to bat for you. – Scott Singer, Insider Career Strategies

Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?

3. Focus On Obtaining A Win-Win

Negotiation outcomes are win-win, win-lose and lose-lose. Should you want a win-win outcome, first decide on the wins that would work for you. Second, brainstorm potential wins that would appeal to the other side. Third, plan how these “opposing” positions could foster your win. At the negotiation, rearrange your steps. Learn the other’s desired win, roll out your plan, work through to win-win. – Rita Coco, Rita Coco Consulting

4. Make The Negotiation About Them

If you want something, you need to determine how what you want is good for the person that you want it from. If you can figure out how they will benefit from giving you what you want, then you have learned the most important tip in negotiation—you’re no longer negotiating. Now you have become good at presenting the value proposition of what you’re selling. – John Knotts, Crosscutter Enterprises

5. Don’t Take It Personally

As a salary negotiation coach, my biggest advice for clients is to not take things personally. While a salary offer affects you personally (a lot!), the offer itself is not personal. What a company is willing to pay says far more about how they value the job than how they value you as a person. The more objectively you can look at the offer, the more effective you’ll be in negotiating your pay! – Kate Dixon, Dixon Consulting

6. Determine What You’re Worth

I recently helped a client who didn’t think she would get a salary increase because she was younger than most of her peers. I advised her to truly think about the value she brings to the firm, come up with what she believes that is worth and confidently point out to her boss that this is what she deserves. She got the entire amount, which was well over $50,000. – Eric Beaudan, Odgers Berndtson

7. Always Be Honest

Most negotiations focus on strategy and some degree of calculated manipulation. I believe in doing the opposite. Instead, I prepare for discussing the underlying elements of what I want, why I want it and why and how the other side would benefit from (letting me have) it, as well. By being honest, you are not merely being vulnerable, you are creating a climate of value and equitable exchange. – Candice Gottlieb-Clark, Dynamic Team Solutions

8. Never Take The First Offer

Especially on job offers, never settle for the first offer. There are a hundred different things you might want in your new job, and if you’ve accepted the original offer, you’re doing yourself and the company a huge disservice by starting the relationship without what you both want. – Brian M Harman, Business Management Hallmark

9. Embrace The ‘Pregnant Pause’

During negotiations, both parties outline their top priorities. Usually, more intense conversations follow, including discussions about deal-breaking terms. A great tip is to embrace the “pregnant pause” during negotiations, which is when both parties stop talking to reflect or plan their next step. Don’t talk first. See if the other party comes back with a better offer or option. – Karan Rhodes, Shockingly Different Leadership

10. Define Your Nonnegotiables

Negotiations can get very emotional, so remind yourself that you can always take a breath and take some time to consider your options. Of equal importance is your understanding of your nonnegotiables before you get into the negotiation, so you know what you need to protect. – Brad Elson, Palmer OSG

11. Get Comfortable Saying ‘No’

Being able to assertively say “no” to a request is an important skill for a leader to master. “No” holds power. “No” saves time and money. “No” is a verbal brick wall that stops the forward movement of a request or inquiry in its tracks. It has the power to end a negotiation or conversation in a split second. “No” can be used for convenience, while other times it can be used out of necessity. – G. Riley Mills, Pinnacle Performance Company

12. Let Go Of The Outcome

It sounds counterintuitive; however, it’s easy to walk into a negotiation with a firm or fixed idea of what “must happen.” Letting go of desired outcomes leaves you free to listen to the other party and explore possibilities. Know your boundaries, what you can and cannot do, but don’t be so fixed on what you want that you can’t hear or think of alternative options. – Alex Rufatto Perry, Practically Speaking, LLC

13. Understand The Big Picture

During negotiations, it is important to understand the big picture. Be curious and gain an understanding of the other person’s perspective and what they are trying to achieve. The information gained can be used to have meaningful communication among the involved parties and shape the negotiation process to your advantage by generating creative solutions that meet the interests of all parties involved. – Jonathan Silk, Bridge 3 LLC

14. Focus On Your Counterpart’s Emotions

You need to accept the fact that emotions are involved in negotiations and you will be more successful when you start focusing on your counterpart’s emotions. Try to understand their motivations, expectations and fears. Acknowledge their feelings through positive body language, active listening and summarizing what they say. This attention to emotions lays the groundwork for joint success. – Antonia Bowring, ABstrategies LLC

15. Ask Questions And Listen

Knowing what drives the other person always stacks the odds in your favor. Ask good questions and really listen so you know exactly what they value most. When you know what excites them, you can tailor the conversation in a way that resonates most effectively and better anticipates their needs and potential objections. Once you’re on the same page, dazzle them with how you’ll deliver. – Erin Miller, Erin Miller INC

Forbes.com | December 16, 2019 | Forbes Coaches Council 

Your #Career : Don’t Tell #Recruiters or the #HiringManger These Things If You Want The Job…These Phrases can Compromise your Chances of Getting a Competitive Offer.

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Put your best foot forward. How many times have you heard that popular refrain? Too many to count. However, when it comes to the job search process, many job seekers think that this advice only applies during the scheduled phone calls, interviews, and interactions with the hiring manager and your potential team. After all, isn’t the recruiter just the go-between, the person who arranges interviews and leases between candidate and boss? Wrong. The recruiter is a stakeholder and is an integral part of the hiring process. To overlook or underestimate his or her influence is a big mistake.

Every interaction with a potential employer should not only be professional and also dictate that you are purposeful and thoughtful about everything you say. Whether it’s just a quick text through Canvas or a phone call to discuss salary expectation, choose your words wisely to ensure your own success.

Here are six phrases that you should never say to a recruiter if you want a competitive job offer.

“I’LL TAKE ANYTHING (ANY ROLE AT YOUR COMPANY)”

Much like dating, the smell of desperation in the job search can be palpable. Whether the bills are piling up, your current gig is an absolute dead end, or whether this is your dream company, avoid telling a recruiter that you’ll “take anything” for a few key reasons:

  1. You’re selling yourself and your skills short. You are talented, smart, and can contribute greatly.
  2. You appear uninformed. Recruiters want well-researched, highly engaged, informed candidates to apply for jobs. This statement makes you appear as though you haven’t thought out the decision to apply to the company, or do not know how your career goals align with their objectives.
  3. You are signaling that you will settle. Continuing with the dating analogy, job seekers who appear “thirsty” or desperate won’t command the attention or best treatment.

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“SURE, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD SALARY”

Never settle for the opening salary offer. Never. “A salary negotiation is a collaboration, and a key ingredient of a successful collaboration is good communication,” says Josh Doody, author of Fearless Salary Negotiation. “You’ll often get a job offer that seems really appealing, and it might be far more than you expected. Your instinct in that case might be to just accept the offer because it’s so good.”

However, you should be prepared to negotiate your salary and know how much you could earn given your skills, education, and location by using Glassdoor’s Know Your Worth personal salary calculator.

Instead of blindly accepting their offer, do your research. Then, Doody says, “formulate a counteroffer to see how much you can improve it. The negotiation should end with the company saying “Yes” to you. Once they say “Yes” to you, or you run out of things to ask for, then you are finished negotiating.”

Related: What Recruiters Pay Attention To When They Look At Your Social Media 

“MY PREVIOUS COMPANY WAS HORRIBLE”

Complaining about your last company is a big no-no. Barring some really unique circumstance, griping about your former boss, colleagues, or work environment can be detrimental to your interview process as well as your professional reputation.

Instead of making such a blunt statement, critically evaluate how you have navigated challenges on the job. Share with the recruiter how you have coped and actually thrived in spite of less than ideal circumstances. Just remember, trash talking is a no-no.

Related:Former Google Recruiter: This Is How To Improve Your Interviews 

“MY FORMER BOSS WON’T GIVE ME A GOOD RECOMMENDATION BECAUSE HE/SHE WAS THREATENED BY ME”

While there may be truth to this statement, save it for your friends over drinks. Do not share this with a recruiter. When asked for a list of recommendations, rarely will a recruiter counter your list with a comment like, “Why didn’t you include your last boss?” References and recommendations should come from people who can speak to your accomplishments, successes, and positive work experiences. Glowing recommendations are a big part of putting your best foot forward.

However, recruiters aren’t likely to care about the less than savory relationship you had with your former boss. Nix the gossip. Offer up the best recommendations you can, and if you are questioned about the absence of your most recent boss in that bunch, simply reply, “The group of people I provided are best suited to speak to my accomplishments, work ethic, and abilities. I think they’ll provide you with a 360-degree view of why I’d be an excellent fit for this role.”

Related:Recruiters Explain Which Types Of Messages They Actually Reply To 

“I KNOW MY INTERVIEW IS TODAY, BUT CAN WE RESCHEDULE?”

Unless there has been a death in the family or a critical emergency, canceling an interview on the day of is tantamount to saying “I don’t really want this job and I don’t respect you or your time.”

If you need to adjust the time or you’re running late, be transparent. “Being late to an interview with no explanation or without emailing or calling ahead to say they are running late will knock out 99% of interviewees,” says Jamie Hichens, senior manager of talent acquisition at Glassdoor. “At the very least, if you’re running late, call and offer an ETA, an explanation, or an offer to reschedule. And remember to apologize for the inconvenience.”

“IT’S BEEN 3 WEEKS SINCE I APPLIED, I THOUGHT MY APPLICATION HAD FALLEN INTO THE BLACK HOLE”

Depending on the size of the company, job applications can receive hundreds or thousands of resumes per position. And while recruiters try to respond to everyone, sometimes it’s harder than job seekers may think. That’s no reason to be curt with a recruiter or make a passive-aggressive comment like this. Use your time with a recruiter wisely by focusing on the role, the company and your unique fit for both. Don’t waste time or diminish your chances of a positive interview experience by making snarky comments.

There are a few ways you can avoid the black hole. “With the increased use of online applicant tracking systems even among smaller companies, it means the recruiter or hiring manager may not see your resume unless you use just the right keywords,” says Mikaela Kiner, founder/CEO of UniquelyHR. “Referrals [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][also] increase the likelihood that a recruiter will see your resume. If you don’t have a personal connection, use social media to find out who does. Don’t be embarrassed to ask someone to make an introduction on your behalf, people do this all the time. If you’re uncomfortable asking for favors, include an easy way for them to say no, like, ‘If you’re not comfortable connecting me, I completely understand.’”

This article originally appeared on Glassdoor and is reprinted with permission. 

 

FastCompany.com | April 27, 2018 | BY AMY ELISA JACKSON—GLASSDOOR 5 MINUTE READ

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