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#Leadership : #CareerAdvice – How to Strategically Manage Frustration at Work….Frustration is Part of Life. Rather than Allowing it to Pull Your Strings, Learn to Understand and Manage It.

May 30, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Frustration is a tempter, an emotional trickster. It goads us with the false promise that our feelings are worthy of the mounting fireworks display: This is the last straw. I’m fed up. Can you believe this guy? Frustration, with its loud, emotional appeal; why not take its bait, and surrender?

But what does it earn us when we do? What was the outcome when, fueled by frustration, we said something curt to our boss, rolled our eyes in a meeting, snapped at a co-worker, “accidentally” hung up on a customer? Indulging frustration may feel satisfying, even necessary, for a moment. Then reality sets in, and with it the immediate need to clean up after our faux solution. If our indulgence had truly solved the problem, we wouldn’t need to run damage control.

It usually takes less energy to refrain from indulging frustration than to enact clean-up. Spraying frustration around the office makes our jobs harder, it doesn’t solve our problems and it makes us look bad.

Frustration is part of life. Rather than allowing it to pull your strings, learn to understand and manage it. This way, you can recognize the trickster and handle it in ways that benefit you.

Acquaint yourself with frustration

It’s hard to control what we don’t understand. So observe your own frustration. Dr. Laurie Nadel, psychotherapist, business coach and author of The Five Gifts: Discovering Hope, Healing and Strength When Disaster Strikes explains: “Frustration is not so much an emotion as it is a distorted cognitive response to a presupposition that we are entitled to get what we want in that particular moment. Therefore, I see frustration as a state that gives us an opportunity for critical thinking which is defined as ‘thinking about how we think.’ I do not see it as destructive…I see it as a possibility for growth.”

Just because frustration can feel overbearing and outlet-seeking, doesn’t mean you have to react in kind. Your self-composure and control matter more, especially in the workplace.

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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Enact real problem-solving measures

Reacting poorly to frustration doesn’t just lead to a messy solution, it also doesn’t solve the problem. Move past the urge enact regretful or rude responses-recognize those as urgings from the trickster.

When you feel that urge to do something destructive, it means you need a break. You need a minute to get emotionally on top of things. Dr. Nadel explains: “Recognize that when you are frustrated, you are being reactive rather than proactive. If you recognize frustration as a signal that there is a situation that needs to be explored from a different angle, then you can welcome it for the opportunity it offers for creative thinking.”

You probably have a real problem on your hands-you’ve got a boss who doesn’t support you or a co-worker who drives you crazy. You need real solutions. You need to think that through and to talk to your support network.

But in that moment, while you’re on the phone with an angry customer who wants to blame you for everything, you need to get out of the interaction in a tidy way that benefits you. Then you can work through the bigger problem of the difficult boss or co-worker.

As you feel frustration mounting, instead of indulging it, examine it. “I feel stressed. This person is blaming me, and it’s not my fault. I worry that if I go to my boss about it, she won’t have my back. So I’m going to get off this call, causing as little disruption as possible. Then I’m going to think about my relationship with my boss, because if she can’t support me during stressful times I’m not sure that this role can be a fit for me.”

Don’t magnify problems for yourself by allowing frustration to take the wheel. Take a moment. Analyze the issues. Free yourself from the immediate, pressing situation. Consider how to solve the underlying problem.

Dr. Nadel advises: “Frustration is frequently a reaction to our perceived helplessness in a particular situation. But we are not helpless. When we express frustration by blaming someone else, we are missing out on an opportunity to reposition our response to that sense of helplessness.”

Skillfully handling the trickster

Exhibiting composure during a stressful moment, and handling challenges gracefully are impressive qualities. Dr. Nadel points out there’s much to learn: “If we see frustration as a message that we need to explore our thinking about the ‘frustrating’ issue, then we stop ‘tolerating’ frustration and utilize it to our benefit.”

These are components of emotional intelligence that show that you understand your feelings and that you know how to manage them. Compare that with the alternative.

Decide to behave in the way that benefits you, taking the opportunity it offers to hone your self-control. Teach yourself how to do so by recognizing the rewards it gives you versus the extra work it leaves you with to behave in an emotionally chaotic way.

Dr. Nadel explains: “Every state contains information. Uncomfortable states contain a lot of powerful information about how we look at things. I see frustration as an opportunity to think critically and to change models of belief and behavior that are not working for us. It’s a good thing if we work with it.”

Take the opportunity. You’re in control, not the trickster.

5 Signs You’re In the Wrong Career & How to Make a Change

GlassDoor.com | May 30, 2018 | Posted by Eileen Hoenigman Meyer

#Leadership : How To Keep Working Productively When You’re Under Extreme Stress…You’ve got a Big Job with Bigger Responsibilities. Then Disaster Strikes. Here’s How to Keep it Together.

November 7, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Say you’re a high performer who’s risen through the ranks. Now you have even bigger responsibilities. Or you’re working your way toward a promotion and need to show your skills and professionalism in the best light. Then the phone call comes. The results of your medical tests weren’t good. Or you suddenly have to take care of a loved one in an emergency. Or there’s an unexpected financial hit that could spell catastrophe.

Whatever the situation, your life just got much more complicated. While intuitively you know that these things can happen to anyone, the anxiety of dealing with such troubling events, coupled with the pressure to continue to perform in your job, amps up the stress to DEFCON 1.

“A curveball like that requires sharpening your coping skills and expanding them so that you can deal with what’s being demanded of you,” says clinical psychologist Alicia H. Clark, adjunct professor at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. And there is a strategic approach you can take to help you cope and perform better, even when you’re operating under extreme stress.

IDENTIFY WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL

Part of the anxiety that occurs during such urgent situations comes from feeling a loss of control, says Matthew Digeronimo, a retired nuclear submarine lieutenant commander and coauthor of Extreme Operational Excellence: Applying the U.S. Submarine Culture to Your Organization. He recommends identifying the things you can adapt or adjust to regain some of that feeling of order. “If a family member is ill, you might not be able to control the illness. But you can control the manner in which you rally around that person. You can control your working hours, or the way you react to it,” he says.

Part of the anxiety that occurs during such urgent situations comes from feeling a loss of control.

If you can schedule meetings or calls during your high-energy times, or work from home one day a week, take advantage of those options. Use the power you do have to adapt your life to deal with your new situation for the time being, he says.

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IDENTIFY THE “MUST-DOS”

We all have tasks that need to get done to fulfill our responsibilities. However, high-performing individuals often go beyond the basics and take on other to-dos—that’s often what makes them high performers, Clark says. Now is the time to scale back to the most necessary and immediate task. Ask yourself these key questions:

Where can I cut back?
Where can I save time?
What can I put off without much consequence?

For example, do you need to take that trip to China now? Or can you cut back to visiting two states instead of three on your next trip? Can support staff handle some of the legwork on that upcoming report? Once you have a sense of where your time needs to be spent, you can create a list of priorities to ensure you’re getting the essentials done. Then you can decide whether you have time or energy to take on more.

ACCEPT “GOOD ENOUGH”—FOR NOW

This is also a good time to let go of perfectionism and accept “good enough,” Clark says. When you’re good at and take pride in what you do, it can be tough to do the minimum acceptable job. Sometimes, that’s what’s necessary to free up time and energy you need for other things to prevent burnout, she says.

SLOW DOWN

Extreme stress can affect decision making as well. Recent research from the University of Pittsburgh found that anxiety affects the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which regulates problem solving, impulse control, and emotion regulation.

If necessary, take more time to make decisions or take action to be sure you get it right.

Unlike typical periodic stress, where you may feel the pressure of events that happen from time to time, unrelenting stress doesn’t give you time for recovery, says Richard Citrin, PhD, founder of Citrin Consulting, a talent and leadership development consultancy, and author of The Resilience Advantage: Stop Managing Stress and Find Your Resilience. So your decision-making abilitymay be taking a beating.

As a result, you need to be more intentional about what you’re doing. Gather your facts methodically, and if necessary, take more time to make decisions or take action to be sure you get it right, he says.

SHARE SELECTIVELY

Another decision you’ll need to make is what—and how much—to tell those around you. Should you tell your boss that your parent is ill? Should you tell your boss or coworkers that you’re going through a divorce? There’s no one-size-fits-all solution here, Digeronimo says.

It’s important to practice good self-care.

If the situation will require you to change some of your work habits or be out of the office, then it’s probably a good idea to tell your boss the basics and share your plan for managing the situation. He thinks it’s not a good idea to share too much with coworkers, as it can breed gossip and office politics. “For most of us, our coworkers are not our source of support,” he says. “I think it can only add to your stress level if you share these types of details with them.”

GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK

When Citrin’s daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago, he and his wife both had full-time careers. He says that one of the most important lessons he learned throughout the experience was to accept help from other people so that he could free up time to help his daughter. He says it can be hard for people who are used to handling everything themselves to ask for or accept help from others, but even allowing a neighbor to bring over a meal can relieve one of your many demands. Clark adds that it’s important to practice good self-care, including getting enough sleep, exercising, and trying to manage your stress.

Chances are that you’re going to have to juggle a personal emergency with your work at some point. Understanding how to keep your work life intact while managing extreme stress requires a combination of cutting back, being mindful, and taking care of your own needs, so you can address both work and personal demands.

FastCompany.com | GWEN MORAN | 11.07.16 5:43 AM

#Leadership : 21 Signs you’re Mentally Stronger than Average…How Do you Know Where you Fall on the Spectrum? We asked Psychotherapist Amy Morin, the author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.”

September 14, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Mental strength takes a long time to develop. It is the daily practice of pushing yourself to grow stronger, maintaining realistic optimism, and setting healthy boundaries.Mentally strong people don’t dothings like waste time feeling sorry for themselves or give away their power to other people.

How do you know where you fall on the spectrum? We asked psychotherapist Amy Morin, the author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.”

Morin shared the following 21 signs you’re mentally stronger than average, which we’ve listed here in her words:

1. You balance emotions with logic

“Mentally strong people understand how their emotions can influence their thinking. In an effort to make the best decisions possible, they balance their emotions with logic.”

2. You choose productive behavior

“While it may be tempting to make excuses, complain about other people, and avoid difficult circumstances, mentally strong people refuse to waste time on unproductive activities.”

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3. You feel confident in your ability to adapt to change

“Mentally strong people know that although change is uncomfortable, it’s tolerable. They focus their energy on adapting to change, rather than resisting it.”

4. You face the fears that hold you back

“While mentally strong people don’t need to conquer fears because they have something to prove to others, they do strive to face the fears that hold them back.”

5. You learn fromyour mistakes

“Mentally strong people don’t hide or excuse their mistakes. Instead, they learn from them.”

6. You balance self-acceptance with self-improvement

“Mentally strong people accept themselves for who they are, while simultaneously recognizing their need for personal development.”

7. You genuinely celebrate other people’s success

“Mentally strong people cooperate — rather than compete — with those around them. They don’t feel as though other people’s success somehow diminishes their own achievements.”

8. You are comfortable living according to your values

“Mentally strong people make decisions with relative ease because they understand their priorities and they live according to their values.”

9. You focus on sharpening your skills, rather than showing them off

“While some people seek validation from others, mentally strong people are less concerned about gaining recognition. Instead, they’re intrinsically motivated to become better.”

10. You live an authentic life

“Mentally strong people are true to themselves. Their words are in line with their behavior.”

11. You view life’s hardships as opportunities for growth

“While hardship causes some people to grow bitter, mentally strong people let adversity make them better.”

12. Your self-worth depends on who you are, not what you achieve

“Mentally strong people feel good about themselves, whether they win or lose.”

13. You practice delayed gratification

“Mentally strong people view their goals as a marathon, not a sprint. They’re willing to tolerate short-term pain when it can provide long-term gain.”

14. You bounce back from failure

“Mentally strong people don’t view failure as the end of the road. Instead, they use their failed attempts as opportunities to gain knowledge that will increase their chances of success in the future.”

15. You’re a realistic optimist

“Mentally strong people are able to look for the silver lining and think on the bright side, but they don’t allow their optimistic tendencies to blind them to reality.”

16. You accept personal responsibility for your choices

“Mentally strong people don’t needlessly beat themselves up, but they do accept complete responsibility for their actions.”

17. You express gratitude

“Rather than exclaim they need more, mentally strong people acknowledge they have more than they need.”

18. You focus on what you can control

“Mentally strong people are effective and productive in life because they devote their resources to the things they can control.”

19. You engage in active problem-solving

“Mentally strong people don’t dwell on the problem — instead, they create solutions.”

20. You’re open to learning more from all that surrounds you

“Mentally strong people are constantly learning from their circumstances and the people they encounter every day.”

21. You work on your weaknesses, rather than masking them

“While many people work hard to disguise their vulnerabilities, mentally strong people invest their energy into improving their shortcomings.”

This is an update of an article originally published by Steven Benna.

Businessinsider.com | September 14, 2016

Your #Career : Just As You Feared, Hating Your Job Is Also Wrecking Your Health…New Research suggests Troubling Links between Job Dissatisfaction and Physical and Mental Health Troubles.

September 1, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

You know that saying, “This job may be hazardous to your health?” Those words, according to a recent study, might not solely apply to careers spent around toxic waste or malfunctioning equipment—they could very well describe any career that’s leaving you unsatisfied.

Unsatisfied workers were more likely to report back pain . . . and also claimed to become ill with greater regularity.

Ohio State University (OSU) surveyed workers between 25 and 39 about both their job satisfaction and physical and mental health (building off a study from the ’70s), and found that those who expressed lower levels of fulfillment in their career were more likely to also report issues like depression or sleep difficulty.

Maybe that’s not too surprising: If you’re not happy at work, your emotional well-being is bound to take a hit. But the results suggest that the effects may go further: Those with low satisfaction throughout their careers were also more likely to be diagnosed with emotional issues, the study says, and tend to worry excessively.

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Even your physical health can take a toll: Unsatisfied workers were more likely to report back pain, for instance, and also claimed to become ill with greater regularity than respondents who said they were content in their career.

“The higher levels of mental health problems for those with low job satisfaction may be a precursor to future physical problems,” Hui Zheng, a sociology professor at OSU and author of the study, said in a statement. “Increased anxiety and depression could lead to cardiovascular or other health problems that won’t show up until they are older.”

Though there’s no way to predict or guarantee how you’ll eventually feel about a given job, OSU’s study should serve as a wakeup call for job seekers. Take a close look at an employer’s workplace culture, whether you’re reading reviews on Kununu or simply observing your surroundings when you come onsite for an interview. Do people seem happy to be working there? It’s not a trivial question.

Of course, it also helps to have a short list of fields where workers love what they do. A recent survey conducted by Monster and social media analytics firm Brandwatch included just that, identifying which industries tended to employ people who love their jobs. Travel, education, and media all ranked highly—but location counts, too. According to the survey, workers in low-population states like Idaho, Montana, and North Dakota were more likely to express job satisfaction.

And if you’re still worried about your job potentially affecting your mental health, we’ve got good news: Another study ranked numerous careers by their likeliness tosafeguard your brain against Alzheimer’s disease. They key element? Working closely with other people: Physicians, lawyers, and speech pathologists were among the highest-ranking roles.

FastCompany.com | MACK GELBER, MONSTER | 09.01.16 5:00 AM

Your #Career : 3 Signs That You’re Burnt Out…Take some Time to Honestly Assess the Amount of Stress in your Life & Find Ways to Reduce It Before it’s Too Late. Burnout isn’t Like the Flu; it Doesn’t Go Away After a Few Weeks Unless you Make some Changes in your Life

April 29, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

We often hear about how workers are disengaged. A Gallup poll found that only around one out of every eight employees worldwide are actually fully engaged in their work, and the remaining seven are disengaged, at least to some degree.

Sometimes, this lack of engagement results from a lack of interest in what you’re doing. “I dreamed of being a photographer my whole life, but I took this job as a secretary because it pays well,” or “I always wanted to be an artist, but I work at this dentist’s office to pay the bills” — those stories are all too common. It’s not often that we hear about people who dreamed their entire lives about becoming astronauts, doctors, or musicians, and how they are actually successful in those particular career paths.

Pace yourself. If you value your job, care for it like you would anything else that you care about — work evenly and at the appropriate pace. It’s unwise to give it an abundance of attention for several months, get burnt out, and have to neglect portions of your work, and then start the cycle all over again.

Even if you have your dream career, you can only give so much of yourself to your job before it starts to take a toll. Sure, give 100% while you are at work, but when it’s time to go home, work should be done until the next work day. There are some really great companies out there these days, ones that know attracting and keeping talent means giving a little to get a lot. Some companies have onsite daycare, some allow their employees to telecommute, and others have recreational facilities onsite so that employees can get some time away from their desks to stretch their legs and have a little fun.

No matter how many perks are offered, how much an employer tries to set you up for success, or how much you like what you’re doing, at the end of the day, it’s partly up to you to manage your own work-life balance. Work can be addictive. Checking emails during off-work hours, reviewing reports at night, and logging into systems because you just want to check “one thing real quick” can be unhealthy.

After a while, the line blurs, and work life and home life are really no different. This can be so unhealthy that Germany was actually considering passing a law prohibiting people from sending work-related emails after 6 p.m. “There is an undeniable relationship between constant availability and the increase of mental illness,” Labor Minister Andrea Nahles told the Rheinische Post.

What do you think about Germany’s potential future decision to make emailing after 6 p.m. illegal? Do you think you’re working too hard? Here are a few signs you may be so stressed out that you’re becoming burnt out.

1. Coffee does nothing

More than half of American adults drink coffee on a daily basis. You may be thinking, “I’ve become kind of immune to coffee because I drink a few cups every day.” But coffee should still affect you to some degree, no matter who you are. So if you can drink a cup or two of Joe and then easily nap afterwords, you may be so stressed out that you just want to zonk out.

“The EEG machines that show increased brain activity post-coffee don’t lie — but some people swear that caffeine doesn’t affect them. What’s probably happening with these caffeine denialists, says [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][study author Michael Breus], is that they’re so exhausted that their levels of calm-inducing neurotransmitters are very high. Theseneurotransmitters help override caffeine’s effects, or they set to work on a different area of the brain to kick-start the sleep process — so the caffeine is working, but the coffee drinkers aren’t reacting to it. In other words, they’re not superhuman; they’re just super-tired,” according to data published in a Huffington Post report.

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2. You’re experiencing physical symptoms

According to WebMD, the physical symptoms of stress include the following:

Low energy
Headaches
Upset stomach, including diarrhea, constipation, and nausea
Aches, pains, and tense muscles
Chest pain and rapid heartbeat
Insomnia
Frequent colds and infections
Loss of sexual desire and/or ability
Nervousness and shaking, ringing in the ear
Cold or sweaty hands and feet
Excess sweating
Dry mouth and difficulty swallowing
Clenched jaw and grinding teeth.

Burnout can effect more than just your ability to put your best face forward — it can actually make you physically sick. That’s not to mention all of the emotional and mental health-related problems you can experience as a result of too much work stress, as well. These emotional symptoms range from feeling frustrated and overwhelmed to avoiding your loved ones.

3. Success doesn’t feel like success

When you do well at your job — when you receive accolades from your superiors, clients, or coworkers — does that rejuvenate you, or does it feel like you don’t deserve the praise (or that the praise doesn’t really matter)?

If you are a high achiever, you may be particularly susceptible to this symptom. At first, you give 200 percent of yourself — you over perform and everything is going really well. Except, there’s one big problem: You’re overdoing it, putting way too much into your job and seeing it as a sprint instead of a marathon. This sets you up for short-term success that cannot be maintained over the long run.

Because you excelled so much in the beginning, you place more and more pressure on yourself. And, according to Psychology Today: “Irritability often stems from feeling ineffective, unimportant, useless, and an increasing sense that you’re not able to do things as efficiently or effectively as you once did. In the early stages, this can interfere in personal and professional relationships. At its worst, it can destroy relationships and careers. … Despite long hours, chronic stress prevents you from being as productive as you once were, which often results in incomplete projects and an ever-growing to-do list. At times, it seems that as hard as you try, you can’t climb out from under the pile.”

If any of these signs or symptoms sound like you, it’s time to take action. “Take some time to honestly assess the amount of stress in your life and find ways to reduce it before it’s too late. Burnout isn’t like the flu; it doesn’t go away after a few weeks unless you make some changes in your life,” says Psychology Today.

CheatSheet.com | April 28, 2016 | Erika Rawes

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#Leadership : 5 Signs of Work Stress That You Should Never Ignore…Simply Recognizing That you’re Stressed & Taking Steps to Change your Work Environment or How you Respond to It can Be very Helpful

January 26, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Everyone has the occasional stressful day at the office. But for some, work-related stress is a chronic problem. Sixty-five percent of Americans named work as their top source of stress, the American Psychological Association(APA) found. Eighty percent of people surveyed by Monster said they experienced the Sunday night blues, and 76% of those characterized those blues as “really bad.”

Work-related anxiety does more than just put a damper on your weekend, however. In men, chronic stress is linked to a host of health problems.

“Men under stress are more likely than women to report having been diagnosed with high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and heart disease or heart attack,” Simon A. Rego, PsyD, director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine, told Everyday Health.

Unfortunately, men may be more likely than women to ignore or downplay stress, both at work and in their personal lives.

“Men notoriously have trouble putting their feelings into words,” Edward Hallowell, author of Crazy Busy: Overstretched, Overbooked and About to Snap! Strategies for Coping in a World Gone ADD, told WebMD. “They bottle things up so they’re more subject to the damages of stress.”

Simply assuming that stress is a normal part of your work routine could also be causing you to miss your body’s attempts to warn you that the pressure is too much. If you’re experiencing any of the following symptoms, they might be due to work-related stress.

1. Frequent headaches

Frequent headaches are one of the biggest physical signs of stress, according to The American Institute of Stress. Over-the-counter pain relievers may help to relieve the occasional work-related tension headache, according tothe Cleveland Clinic, but if your headaches are chronic, you might need to explore stress management techniques, counseling, or even anti-anxiety medication or antidepressants.

Migraine headaches that happen over the weekend could also be a sign that the pressure at work is too much, since sudden decrease in stress levels may trigger these severe headaches, reported Prevention. Maintaining a consistent eating and sleeping schedule could reduce the chances you’ll experience a weekend migraine.

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2. Jaw pain

If you’re stressed, you may be clenching your jaw or grinding your teeth at night and not even realize it. Jaw pain, earaches, and headaches are all signs of bruxism, which might be caused by day-to-day stress. Practicing stress-relieving techniques like meditation might help minimize teeth clenching and grinding, as can consciously trying to relax your face during the day. If you grind your teeth at night, your dentist may tell you to wear a mouth guard to prevent damage to your teeth.

3. Upset stomach

A stressful situation at work could be the reason behind your stomachache or other gastrointestinal troubles, like constipation. That’s because “the brain and the digestive tract share many of the same nerve connections,” Douglas A. Drossman, M.D., a gastroenterologist and psychiatrist and co-director of the University of North Carolina Center for Functional GI and Motility Disorders, told Eating Well.

Altering your diet can help minimize stress-related tummy trouble. High-fiber foods like oatmeal can help regulate digestion, while fatty fish like salmon and sardines may reduce inflammation that exacerbates your stomach problems. Sugar, caffeine, alcohol, and junk food can all make your stress worse, says the Stress Management Society.

4. Breakouts and other skin problems

If your skin suddenly looks like you’re back in high school, tough times at work could be the cause. Your body’s chemical response to stress can increase breakouts, since your body is producing more cortisol, which in turn can lead to oily skin and acne flare-ups, according to WebMD. If you suffer from dry skin, eczema, psoriasis, rosacea, or other skin problems, stress can also exacerbate those conditions.

If you’re too focused on work-related troubles, you may forget to wash your face, not get enough sleep, or eat poorly, all of which can make skin problems worse. Sticking to your regular skin care regimen can help reduce breakouts, as can getting enough sleep, exercising, and drinking plenty of water.

5. Hair loss

Hair loss is a fact of life for many men, often linked to genetics, aging, or a decrease in testosterone. But if your hair is coming out in handfuls when you comb or wash it, you might have telogen effluvium, a condition that can be triggered by stress, as well as by certain medications or infections.

Occasional stress isn’t enough to cause sudden baldness, though. “Stress because you’re late to work or you’ve got a heavy workload is not going to cause you to lose hair,” dermatologist Paradi Mirmirani, MD, told WebMD. Long-term stress that causes other physical changes, like dramatic weight loss or big shifts in diet, could trigger hair loss, however. The good news is that this kind of hair loss is often temporary and may stop once you get your stress under control.

Tips for Reducing Work Stress

While you can take steps to alleviate some of the physical symptoms of stress, those remedies aren’t likely to address the underlying cause of your anxiety. Identifying stress triggers and finding ways to manage them may be the best way to reduce the headaches, stomach pains, and other stress-related problems that you’re experiencing, as well as to avoid the long-term term health problems that constant stress may cause.

Exercising, practicing meditation, creating boundaries between your job and the rest of your life, and taking time to relax and recharge can all be ways to manage work stress, says the APA. Making changes to your workspace and getting more organized at the office may also make you happier at work, since cramped and cluttered desks can exacerbate stress, according to a report in Time magazine.

Simply recognizing that you’re stressed and taking steps to change your work environment or how you respond to it can be very helpful, say experts. “People feel less stressed when they take control of a situation,” psychologist Emma Kenny told The Guardian.

CheatSheet.com | January 25, 2016 | Megan Elliott

Follow Megan on Twitter @MeganE_CS

Your #Career : Dale Carnegie Said you Can Ask Yourself a Basic Question to be Less Anxious…In Circumstances like These, There’s No Magic Panacea that Will Stop your Thoughts from Spiraling Out of Control or Alleviate the Physical Manifestations of your Fears.

October 21, 2015/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Being anxious is a fundamental part of being human. But there are certain situations in which your rattling nerves can take a terrible toll on your ability to function normally. Maybe you haven’t gotten a full night’s rest or eaten a proper meal in weeks because you’re convinced that your business is going under any day now.

APDale Carnegie.

In circumstances like these, there’s no magic panacea that will stop your thoughts from spiraling out of control or alleviate the physical manifestations of your fears.

Yet there is a psychological exercise that can help reduce some of that anxiety, thereby helping you address the root cause of the problem because you’re able to think more clearly. It’s based on an anecdote from Willis Carrier, founder of the modern air-conditioning industry, and it’s cited in “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” a 1948 book by Dale Carnegie.

Carnegie’s also the author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”

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Here’s how it breaks down:

1. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”

2. Prepare to accept the worst.

3. Figure out how to improve upon the worst, should it come to pass.

Carnegie outlines how the exercise helped Carrier break out of a nervous rut. While working for the Buffalo Forge Co. as a young man, Carrier found that a new gas-cleaning service his company provided wasn’t as effective as he’d hoped.

“I was stunned by my failure,” Carrier told Carnegie. “It was almost as if someone had struck me a blow on the head. My stomach, my insides, began to twist and turn. For a while I was so worried I couldn’t sleep.”

At some point he realized that worrying, while understandable in this situation, was relatively counterproductive. That’s how he landed on the three-step exercise.

First, he realized that the worst that could happen was that his company would have to remove the machinery that wasn’t working and lose the $20,000 they’d invested.

Next, he accepted that potential outcome. The company could qualify the loss as the cost of researching a new strategy.

Finally, he figured out how to improve the situation. If the company bought $5,000 worth of new equipment, they could resolve the issue.

Ultimately, that’s exactly what the company did, and they ended up making $15,000, because the additional equipment proved effective.

As Carrier told Carnegie, “[W]hen we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all these vague imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem.”

In other words, when you’re worried, it’s like walking around in circles in a dark room. When you accept the potential negative outcome, it’s as if someone turns the light on and enables you to find the exit.

Businessinsider.com | October 20, 2015 | Shana Lebowitz

#Leadership : 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do…Mental Strength isn’t Often Reflected in What you Do. It’s Usually Seen in What you Don’t Do.

July 19, 2015/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

In her book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,” author Amy Morin writes that developing mental strength is a “three-pronged approach.” It’s about controlling your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.

Things Mentally Strong People Dont Do

Here are 13 things mentally strong people do not do, according to Morin:

1. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.

“Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive,” she writes. “Indulging in self-pity hinders living a full life.”

It wastes time, creates negative emotions, and hurts your relationships.

The key is to “affirm the good in the world, and you will begin to appreciate what you have,” Morin writes. The goal is to swap self-pity with gratitude.

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2. They don’t give away their power.

People give away their power when they lack physical and emotional boundaries, Morin writes. You need to stand up for yourself and draw the line when necessary.

If other people are in control of your actions, they define your success and self-worth. It’s important that you keep track of your goals and work towards them.

Morin uses Oprah Winfrey as an example of someone with a strong grip on their power. Winfrey grew up dealing with poverty and sexual abuse, but “she chose to define who she was going to be in life by not giving away her power,” she says.

3. They don’t shy away from change.

There are five stages of change, Morin writes: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.

Following through with each of the five steps is crucial. Making changes can be frightening, but shying away from them prevents growth. “The longer you wait, the harder it gets,” she says, and “other people will outgrow you.”

4. They don’t focus on things they can’t control.

Things Mentally Strong People Dont Do William MorrowTake back your power, embrace change, face your fears, and train your brain for happiness and success.

“It feels so safe to have everything under control, but thinking we have the power to always pull the strings can become problematic,” Morin writes.

Trying to be in control of everything is likely a response to anxiety. “Rather than focusing on managing your anxiety, you try controlling your environment,” she says.

Shifting your focus off the things you can’t control can create increased happiness, less stress, better relationships, new opportunities, and more success, Morin writes.

5. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.

Oftentimes, we judge ourselves by considering what other people think of us, which is the opposite of mental toughness.

Morin lists four facts about constantly trying to be a people-pleaser: It’s a waste of time; people-pleasers are easily manipulated; it’s OK for others to feel angry or disappointed; and you can’t please everyone.

Dropping your people-pleasing mindset will make you stronger and more self-confident.

6. They don’t fear taking calculated risks.

People are often afraid to take risks, whether it’s financial, physical, emotional, social, or business-related, Morin writes. But it comes down to knowledge.

“A lack of knowledge about how to calculate risk leads to increased fear,” Morin writes.

To better analyze a risk, ask yourself the following questions:

What are the potential costs?Flickr/Mikko Koponen
What are the potential benefits?
How will this help me achieve my goal?
What are the alternatives?
How good would it be if the best-case scenario came true?
What is the worst thing that could happen, and how could I reduce the risk it will occur?
How bad would it be if the worst-case scenario did come true?
How much will this decision matter in five years?

7. They don’t dwell on the past.

The past is in the past. There’s no way to change what happened, and “dwelling can be self-destructive, preventing you from enjoying the present and planning for the future,” Morin writes. It doesn’t solve anything and can lead to depression, she writes.

There can be a benefit to thinking about the past, though. Reflecting on the lessons learned, considering the facts rather than the emotions, and looking at a situation from a new perspective can be helpful, she says.

8. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over.

Reflecting can ensure you don’t repeat your mistakes. It’s important to study what went wrong, what you could have done better, and how to do it differently next time, Morin writes.

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for the mistake and create a thoughtful, written plan to avoid making the same mistake in the future.

9. They don’t resent other people’s success.

Resentment is like anger that remains hidden and bottled up, Morin writes.

Focusing on another person’s success will not pave the way to your own, since it distracts you from your path, Morin writes. Even if you become successful, you may never be content if you’re always focusing on others. You may also overlook your talents and abandon your values and relationships, she says.

10. They don’t give up after the first failure.

Dr. Seuss Dana~man via FlickrTheodor Giesel.

Success isn’t immediate, and failure is almost always an obstacle you will have to overcome. “Take, for example, Theodor Giesel — also known as Dr. Seuss — whose first book was rejected by more than 20 publishers,” Morin writes. And now Dr. Seuss is a household name.

Thinking that failure is unacceptable or that it means you aren’t good enough does not reflect mental strength. In fact, “bouncing back after failure will make you stronger,” Morin writes.

11. They don’t fear alone time.

“Creating time to be alone with your thoughts can be a powerful experience, instrumental in helping you reach your goals,” Morin writes. Becoming mentally strong “requires you to take time out from the busyness of daily life to focus on growth.”

Here are some of the benefits of solitude Morin lists in her book:

Solitude at the office can increase productivity.
Alone time may increase your empathy.
Spending time alone sparks creativity.
Solitary skills are good for mental health.
Solitude offers restoration.

12. They don’t feel the world owes them anything.

It’s easy to get angry at the world for your failures or lack of success, but the truth is no one is entitled to anything. It must be earned.

“Life isn’t meant to be fair,” Morin writes. If some people experience more happiness or success than others, “that’s life — but it doesn’t mean you’re owed anything if you were dealt a bad hand.”

The key is to focus on your efforts, accept criticism, acknowledge your flaws, and don’t keep score, Morin writes. Comparing yourself to others will only set you up for disappointment if you don’t receive what you think you’re owed, she says.

13. They don’t expect immediate results.

“A willingness to develop realistic expectations and an understanding that success doesn’t happen overnight is necessary if you want to reach your full potential,” Morin writes.

Mentally weak people are often impatient. They overestimate their abilities and underestimate how long change takes, she says, so they expect immediate results.

It’s important to “keep your eyes on the prize” and relentlessly work towards your long-term goals. There will be failures along the way, but if you measure your progress and look at the big picture, success will become attainable.

Businessinsider.com | July 16, 2015 |

STEVEN BENNA

http://www.businessinsider.com/things-mentally-strong-people-dont-do-2015-7#ixzz3gLVgWOGP