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#Leadership : The Best Thing To Do When You Mess Up. A Two(2) Min #MustRead !

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As leaders, we’ve all been there: that awful moment of clarity when we realize we’ve screwed up. Our hearts and minds race, our palms sweat and our mouths dry up. We consider our options and what to do next: Hope no one notices the flub? Hide out until it blows over? Pretend it never happened?

But hope is not a strategy and taking timely action trumps passivity or avoidance.

The best thing you can do when you make a mistake is to be accountable and own it immediately. Here’s why:

You’ll avoid misunderstandings.

The benefit of immediate accountability is that you can have clear and open communication about what went wrong and why. And hearing directly from a leader about his or her mishap helps diffuse any possible rumors or miscommunication that could arise if the leader had waited.

It demonstrates your vulnerability—and strength.

Vulnerable leaders are strong leaders. It takes courage to admit when you’ve screwed up and face possible judgment and ridicule. Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston who has spent two decades studying courage and vulnerability, advocates that leaders “embrace the suck” that is vulnerability and admit when they’ve made a mistake. Insecure leaders try to minimize their exposure by covering up their mistakes; confident leaders aren’t afraid to own them.

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By acknowledging your mistakes, you’ll learn from them instead of repeating them.

Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, famously grew up with a father who asked her and her brother at dinner, “How did you fail today?” The finest leaders understand how to shift their perspective to view a “failure” as an opportunity to learn something new. Because of this, they no longer worry about being wrong and instead, delight in being mistaken. Remember, you’re doomed to repeat a mistake and can’t learn from it unless you first acknowledge it.

It showcases your true leadership colors.

When you take responsibility for your mistakes, you send a clear message to others about your character, integrity and authenticity. You demonstrate what’s called intellectual humility, or the willingness to recognize that what you think and believe might be wrong. Research shows that leaders with intellectual humility have an advantage over those who rely upon ego and power, gaining influence and earning others’ respect and loyalty.

It signals to others that you’re human—and they can be, too.

News flash: all leaders make mistakes because all leaders are human. But not all leaders are willing to admit to it for fear of looking incompetent. Leaders who own up to their shortcomings signal that theirs is a culture in which it’s okay to be imperfectly human. And when leaders model this behavior, they create a more open and collaborative culture where others are encouraged to share their ideas.

Follow me on Twitter or LinkedIn. Check out my website or some of my other work here.

Author: Amy Blaschka

I’m a social media ghostwriter who helps leaders craft their stories and communicate and connect better. As a former branding consultant, my role is to make it easier f

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Forbes.com | August 26, 2019

#Leadership : 3 Crucial Things I’ve Learned In My First 30 Days As A Manager…Here’s How this Buffer Engineer Quickly Faced her Fears about Managing People she Felt were Better Developers Than she Was.

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It feels ridiculous for me to write about being an engineering manager. It’s a job I’ve done for not even 30 days yet. But that’s what I want to know from others—how did you start? How did you make it through your first month?
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No two first rodeos are ever alike. But they’re all rodeos, and falling off is falling off. There’s some kind of pattern. So here I am, writing the post that I want to read. And in my first month in a new management role, I’ve found these to be the three things I’ve had to sort out above all else.

1. WHAT IS THIS JOB, ANYWAY?

I had a rough idea what I was getting into from the internal job description, but there’s a chasm between “Help build deep fulfillment and ensure the personal growth of team members” and, well, doing that.

So I went on something of a crusade to understand what exactly I should do. I asked engineers at Buffer, “What do youthink makes a great engineering manager (EM)? Where do you think I fall short?” I am so grateful for the honest answers of my peers—it allowed me to develop a clear sense of how I need to grow. I stalked people on Twitter and LinkedIn, cold emailed them, and asked them how they survived the switch. “What was your rookie error?” became my pickup line.

I’m continually astonished at how helpful the world generally is. I’ve met up with incredible people whom I’d thought wouldn’t give me the time of day. I’ve found this awesome Slack community where I can see, in real time, a smorgasbord of management scenarios unfolding and people of experience, the very kind of people I want to become, give their advice. There is such treasure, if you care to dig.

From my own experience, I certainly remember times when I knew what I wanted from a manager, but didn’t feel I could speak up and ask for it. So I’ve decided to ask a very simple question: “What is something that I can do for you over the next week to make your work life better?”

I quickly learned that this is a solved problem—the help is there. I just had to ask.

 

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2. WHAT HAPPENS TO MY OLD WORK?

This is tough. When an engineer switches to management, the team loses an engineer. That puts a damper on team velocity and morale, but doing two jobs at once is infeasible. Having a handover and transition plan was my first task. It’s a real challenge to figure out who can take over the work you do in a team that’s already lean. And let’s face it, there’s never an “extra engineer” twiddling her thumbs.

I got really lucky here: Half my team (non-engineers) took a vacation as I made the switch, so there was a natural lull while I Googled “how to be an engineering manager.” Then I got another break: A product team happened to be disbanding, and there was someone ready and excited to take over. I dodged a very difficult quarter.

Think about your old responsibilities—don’t just walk out. If there’s really no one to step up, then schedules will slip. Realize this, and make sure others realize it, too.

3. HOW DO I MANAGE SOMEONE WHO’S BETTER THAN I’LL EVER BE?

This was the scariest thing I had to do. Before jumping into a first meeting with an engineer whom I admire greatly, I was decidedly fretful, and definitely anxious throughout. What did he think of me? Was this a huge waste of time? I shudder at the opportunity cost.

After that first video call, it hit me that although I thought he was awesome, I’d given zero recognition. Realizing why I held back calling out good work was a key moment for me: I didn’t feel qualified to praise this engineer. I felt that my opinion didn’t matter; that he’d think I was an idiot for praising something he’d done that was no big deal. It would be like praising Dan Abramov for writing a todo app in React.

Once I understood and named that fear, it went away. If I was better at coding than the engineers I managed, then I’d be writing that code. But I’m not. That’s exactly why I’m managing!

I’m better at encouraging and unblocking. I think that’s when the idea of “servant leader” started to click.

I am there to sort out all the stuff that stops engineers from focusing. Make the processes smooth. Make sure they find their work interesting and challenging. Make sure they are having the biggest impact that they can. Understand who they are and what drives them, and line that up with what the team needs. Tell them when I think they did something great. Ask them why they did something that falls short of our quality bar—maybe there was a good reason. Maybe I can help. I don’t have to be able to do their jobs better than them. They’re the experts, and they should be.

I still don’t know what my biggest rookie error is, though. I guess that’ll be a subject for another post.

An earlier version of this article originally appeared on Buffer. It is reprinted with permission.

 

FastCompany.com |  KATIE WOMERSLEY 10.16.16 5:00 AM

 

#Leadership : 8 Ways You’re Making People Tune Out When You Speak…You Spend Up to 80% of your Day Communicating, so Take Care Not to Fall Prey to these Common Missteps.

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 In meetings, emails, conversations, and conference calls, business leaders spend roughly 80% of their time communicating. So, it’s a significant waste of time and resources if that communication isn’t effective. When it comes to the way we speak to others—either groups or individuals—we can often be inadvertently doing or saying things that undermine our effectiveness.
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American English is typically spoken at roughly 183 words per minute, but we can listen and understand at up to 400 words per minute. The difference can lead to distraction, says speech coach Ethan F. Becker, PhD, president of the Speech Improvement Company, a speech and communications coaching firm, and author of Mastering Communication at Work: How to Lead, Manage and Influence. “There are all sorts of conversations in the back of our mind,” he says. “When I add filler words or something like that, I increase the chance of miscommunication.”

Are you doing or saying things that make people tune out or distract them from your message? Here are eight common habits to avoid.

1. DISMISSING THEIR MESSAGE

Common phrases like, “You think that’s bad? Listen to this!” could be intended to communicate a shared experience, but actually sounds dismissive of the other person’s message or experience, Becker says. That can be off-putting. Suddenly your conversation partner or audience is put in defensive mode rather than listening to your experience. It’s better to affirm that you heard the other person’s story or experience and state that you can relate because you’ve been through something similar, then tell your story, he says. Using the word “but” can have a similar effect.

 

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2. USING TOO MANY FILLER WORDS

Words like “um,” “you know,” or “like,” are filler words—Becker calls them “vocalized pauses”—that we tend to repeat out of habit or because of nervousness. Research his team at the Speech Improvement Company has done found that while a few instances per minute doesn’t typically deter the message, upwards of six per minute becomes increasingly distracting and makes it difficult for the listener to focus on what you have to say.

3. BREAKING OUT THE JARGON

It’s important to not be condescending to your audience, but even if you’re in a room full of people who are fluent in industry jargon, they don’t want to hear people speak that way for too long, says Kory Floyd, PhD, professor of communication at the University of Arizona and author of Communication Matters.

Using too much technical language, “or even $5 words when a 50¢ word will do,” makes language more complicated than it needs to be, says Floyd. Being accessible and specific in your language doesn’t mean “dumbing it down.” You’re simply making it easier for people to truly understand what you’re saying, he says.

4. PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE YOU’RE NOT

Similarly, the first rule of great communication is to understand your own style, strengths, and weaknesses and adapt to them. Trying to be overly formal when that’s not really who you are can sound inauthentic and make listeners less likely to hear your message.

5. SPEAKING IN A MONOTONE

When you speak in the same tone throughout the conversation or presentation, you risk losing your audience, Becker says. It’s important to change your speaking patterns, especially when you’re speaking to groups, he says. Moving from an animated, fast-paced speech pattern to one that’s more leisurely and relaxed can help keep your audience engaged. If they hear too much of the same speech pattern, they may “zone out,” because monotonous speech patterns can be boring, he says.

6. FAILING TO REGULATE PERSONAL SPACE

A well-known Seinfeld episode put the term “close talker”—someone who moves in close, especially face-to-face, when speaking to another person—into the common lexicon. In interpersonal communication, ensuring proper personal space is essential, says communication expert Leil Lowndes, author of How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships.

But it’s not as simple as it seems. If someone moves in close and you pull back abruptly, you could inadvertently send the signal that you’re not open to what they have to say. At the same time, if the person is making you uncomfortable, you need to adjust your distance so that you can effectively speak. Sometimes, getting interpersonal space right is like “a little dance,” she says, but take your cues from your counterpart and your own comfort level.

7. GETTING EYE CONTACT WRONG

It’s well-known that eye contact is important in interpersonal communication, but there’s a fine line between being warm and engaging and making listeners feel intimidated or threatened, Becker says.

Communications-analytics company Quantified Communications found that adults make eye contact between 30% and 60% of the time while speaking to individuals or groups, yet they should make eye contact roughly 60% to 70% of the time.

Becker says that when you’re speaking to a group, it’s important to vary eye contact around the room. Common advice to speakers is to pick more than two or three faces to avoid making those few people very uncomfortable, he says.

8. IGNORING INTERACTION

Whether you’re speaking to a person or a group, failing to allow appropriate interaction can leave your audience members feeling like you don’t care about their feedback, Floyd says. These exchanges are supposed to have give-and-take, he points out. When there’s no opportunity to participate, listeners may lose interest.

 

FastCompany.com | GWEN MORAN  | 08.31.16 5:26 AM