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#Life : 3 Powerful Ways to Keep Your Past From Dictating Your Future…Share your Story, create Connections on a Deeper Level and However you Started Life will Become your Launch Pad Instead of your Burden.

September 2, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Growing up, I was a pretty unlikely candidate for the life I’m leading today, at least that’s what it looked like from the outside. I was raised in a rougher part of the Newark, N.J. area, and I stumbled into drugs and gang-related stuff pretty early. I got deep into alcohol, marijuana and even almost arrested on drug charges.

I don’t share a lot of these details publicly, usually, but it’s important to me to honor where I came from and how my experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. As the Millennial Mentor, I connect with a lot of young people. I’m also really proud to have brought a start-up incubator to Newark, called Fownders, where I’m investing all of my energy into elevating the next wave of young creators who think a future like mine seems impossible.

I’ve heard a lot of stories.

And, we all have stories. We’ve done things we’re not proud of, we’ve overcome insane adversities, we are each a testament to the power of the human spirit in our own ways. It’s not what happens to us that matters — it’s the way we deal with it.

Something that needs to be emphasized is that your past doesn’t dictate your future. And while this phrase may get thrown around a lot in motivational circles, I’ve really lived myself into the truth of that. I’ve heard many very talented young people voice their concerns about being held back by where they’ve come from and what they’ve done.

From violence to homelessness, you name it, sometimes we don’t get handed the easiest spread of cards to work with. With that said, the best stories are always the ones of the underdog rising to the top, making it against all odds, and putting in the necessary faith and hard work to overcome their experiences and beliefs.

We all appreciate our successes much more when we really value the evolution of them. There are a few key things to remember when moving forward and feeling held back by something in your past:

1. It’s not the negative experience.

It’s never the experience that creates the pain or adversity for us, it’s the way we think about it. Sometimes this is a tough message to swallow, but the truth is that no matter what happens, if you believe you can transcend it, you will. The mind is very powerful, and it does create our experience of the world around us in a big way. So if you believe you can’t or that you’re trapped in a bad situation forever, your reality will reflect that. If you believe you are capable, that you are supported [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][or will find support] and that your presence is needed in the world — that’s what your experience will be like.

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2. Everyone has a story.

Fear of judgment is a big thing. Many people argue that the fear of not being liked is one of the greatest human fears. I’d agree with this, because the larger of a presence you become, and the more visibility you become willing to show up for, the more you are apt to deal with people projecting their own pains and insecurities onto you. In other words, haters and judgment. You have to become rock solid in knowing that when other people judge you or where you’ve been, it’s really not about you. They have their own stories. It can take time and effort, but if you can look at everyone in this light, you become a lot less phased by the prospect of being judged.

3. Use your story as your motivation.

It would be really easy to stay stuck where you are or where you’ve been – but it would also be no way to live. If you have a desire to create or be something, then it’s imperative that you create or be that something, and with every ounce of belief that you can. When I look back on my experiences, they make me really excited to support other millennials, because I can resonate with a whole variety of different backgrounds and stories. From rock bottom to mega-success, I’ve been there. It keeps me humble, and that’s the most important thing you can be on your way to where you’re going — other than insanely faithful to your own worth. The two can go hand-in-hand, and they need to.

The Bottom Line is that no matter what your past looks like, there are tons of other people who have been there. When you share your story, it also allows people to connect with you on a deep level, which builds a lot of respect and loyalty from your community. While it’s hard to let go of the fear of being judged and it’s a constant process, the more you focus on what you have to give rather than being defined by where you’ve been, the easier it is to keep moving forward.

Entrepreneur.com | September 2, 2016 | Gerard Adams

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#Life : 6 Things You’re Doing That You’ll Seriously Regret In 10 Years…Sure, They seem Like No Big Deal Now. But Be Careful of These Key Areas of Future Regret.

August 25, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Scrolling through my social media feed, I noticed a college friend’s photograph of his son’s dormitory. My friend and I had been thick as thieves during our undergraduate years, and now his son was leaving home, and roughly the age his father was when he and I first met.

Suddenly, I was hit with a wave of regret.

We hadn’t seen each other in years, even though we live roughly an hour apart. I don’t really know his children well, and he doesn’t know mine. Over the years, when one of us reached out to the other, we were always busy with work, soccer practices, music lessons, or other commitments. “Next time for sure,” we’d say as we postponed. At one time in our lives, I thought we’d be close pals forever and our children would carry on the next generation of our friendship. It didn’t work out that way.

With a full roster of work, family, friends, and other obligations—not to mention trying to make time to stay healthy and have an occasional moment or two alone—it can be tough to fit in all the things we want and need to do. As we try to keep all of those commitments, it’s not uncommon to form habits and take shortcuts that let us fit more into the day. We may stay at our desks longer, forego vacations, or crowd out time for family and friends.

Many people let fear rule when it comes to making decisions, which is a common source of regret.

A recent survey by Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America found that roughly one-third (32%) of Americans regret major choices in their lives.

But what kind of consequences do those decisions have in the long run? Possibly big ones, experts say. Here are some key things you may be doing now that you’ll likely regret in a decade or more.

GIVING UP ON ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

Many people have relationship regrets, whether they’re related to friends or romantic partners, says Gail Saltz, MD, an associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine. The relationship road not taken is a big source of regret among people she sees. Career-focused romantic partners may find themselves either living in different areas or faced with one partner making a sacrifice to be with the other.

“Given the day and age we’re living in now, many, many people feel they shouldn’t have to do that for someone else, and so they don’t,” she says. Later, they may have the great career, but regret that they didn’t try harder to make the relationship work, she says.

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NEGLECTING FRIENDSHIPS

While lost friendships are often considered unimportant compared to romantic partners, their loss can be just as painful and regrettable, says Neal Roese, PhD, a professor of marketing at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, and author of If Only: How to Turn Regret Into Opportunity.

When you put in too many hours at work and let those friendships drift away, you’re setting yourself up for regret. Roese has coauthored several studies on regrets and their causes and says that not making time to maintain friendships is a big one, especially because it can be harder to make new deep friendships later in life. This is especially true at work, where friendships with colleagues can boost both happiness and productivity.

BEING SEDENTARY

It’s easy to end up sitting at your desk all day or blow off working out because you’re tired when you get home. However, failing to make time for regular exercise can affect everything from your overall health to your creativity. As we get older, establishing a regular exercise habit is even more important.

A March 2016 study in the online issue of Neurology found that regular exercise can slow brain aging by as much as 10 years. Saltz says that many people know better, but don’t heed the potential consequences of their actions when they’re younger. “It’s a firmly rooted early belief that I’m invincible, or I’ll be young forever, or these issues of later just don’t pertain to me,” she says.

PUTTING OFF A HEALTH HISTORY

Similarly, Saltz says compiling a routine health history—including check-ups and routine testing such as blood pressure, cholesterol, and others—is important in the long run. If you’re not compiling a health history and, when possible, sharing health concerns and history with a medical professional, you risk missing important warning signs. Many treatments are time-limited, and early detection can make a big difference in outcomes, she says.

IGNORING STRESS MANAGEMENT

Living in a chronic state of being overscheduled and under a variety of pressures can lead to a number of stress-related behaviors and problems, says stress expertMary Wingo, PhD, author of The Human Stress Response: The Biological Origins and Responses to Human Stress.

There’s even evidence that prolonged stress can predispose people to mental illness. Wingo says it’s important to find ways to mitigate that stress before it causes damage.

“Sit down—by yourself, with a therapist, self-help group, etc.—and list every single stressor,” Wingo advises. Then make a conscious effort, the way you would if you were going on a diet or quitting smoking, to eliminate what stressors you can, she says. Adopt stress-relieving habits like meditation, exercise, and other practices that are helpful to relieve stress.

LETTING FEAR DRIVE DECISIONS

Whether it’s fear of not making enough money, disapproval from others, or other concerns, many people let fear rule when it comes to making decisions, which is a common source of regret, says Hal Shorey, PhD, associate professor in the Institute for Graduate Clinical Psychology at Widener University.

Instead of taking healthy risks and following their passions or intuition, some people worry that they won’t meet certain standards they, or others, have for themselves and instead make choices that aren’t really right for them. Such fear-based decision making can also lead to ethical issues, which Shorey has seen with his students:

My first management job, and this happens with a lot of my grads, they’re making good money for the first time in their lives, and they think to themselves, “Oh my goodness, I’ve arrived.” Then they’ll be asked to do things professionally that they may think are unethical, or they might be asked to do things professionally that go against their own knowledge of leadership and the right way to do things. Because they’re too concerned about losing the job, they go along with it and conform.

Shorey says that almost inevitably leads to regret.

Of course, it’s not possible to map out a strategy for a regret-free life, and some regrets are bigger than others. However, Roese says that paying attention to the areas where research shows us most people have regrets can help us be more mindful about our choices.

Looking for ways to “have your cake and eat it, too” can help. Nurture friendships at work. Make time for important people in your life. Take care of your health. Being aware of your own values system and what matters to you can also help you make more regret-free decisions, he says.

Says Roese:

Some regrets we just get over. We rationalize or explain them away. But other things linger. I think that the key question that a lot of people like to talk about these days is, let’s say you’ve reached the end of your life, or maybe you’re on your deathbed. What are your deathbed regrets? If you look at these, there might be a recipe for how better to live your life.

FastCompany.com | GWEN MORAN 08.25.16 5:09 AM

#Leadership : Determine Your Life’s Purpose in 10 Minutes. What’s yours? ….. Are we Spending our ‘Time’ Doing What we were Really Put on this Earth to Do?

July 18, 2016/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

There are activities in life that no matter how much time you spend on them, or how intensely you focus on them, they give you energy. These are the activities that you need to invest time in, for they provide the path to fulfilling your purpose in life.

What’s my purpose in life? It’s an easy question to ponder and lose time contemplating. We’ve all been guilty of dwelling on it at some point. Those who know their purpose and go after it with conviction, they seem so “lucky,” while the rest of us are lost in a world of gray, moving from day to day wondering if what we do really matters, if we’re spending our time doing what we were really put on this earth to do.

But the search for our purpose isn’t some impossible philosophical exercise. Nor is it something that you need to spend your whole life searching for and struggling to determine. Because you already know the answer, and you’ve actually known it your entire life. It’s right in front of your nose. Or perhaps more accurately, it’s within your nose, through your lungs and at the core of your central nervous system.

The answer is the same for everyone yet different at the same time. The answer is: Energy.

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But not just any energy.

As human beings, we have been given countless and miraculous gifts. God, the universe, the universal mind – whatever you want to call it based on whatever you believe — gave us the spectacular gift of life. And not just any life. A unique life. A life that, while connected to everyone else, is uniquely ours.

And after the gift of life – which is certainly our greatest gift – the second greatest gift is the gift of Energy.

I’m not talking about the superficial (and lowercase) energy you get from coffee or going for a run, or after receiving a compliment or recognition.

I’m talking about the Energy at the core of your being, the Energy you were given before birth, and the Energy that makes you unique. The Energy that you’re either working with in life or against. The Energy that you either obey – because you know that your purpose in life is going with its flow — or the Energy you don’t recognize, leading to a life of enduring pain.

The Energy that was given to you as your day-in and day-out guide to fulfilling your purpose in life.

You see, the simplest way to know if you’re fulfilling your purpose in life is to ask yourself “How painful are my days? How hard and taxing is my work?” If your answer to these questions is anything on the medium to high scale, you’re not living your purpose.

You were designed to fulfill a certain purpose. It’s not something you create in your life. This purpose existed before you were born. To fulfill this purpose, you need to follow what your Energy is telling you. How do you know if you’re not paying attention?

When people go with the flow of their Energy, life seems almost too easy, too effortless. When you’re going against the flow of your Energy, everything seems needlessly difficult.

There are activities in life that no matter how much time you spend on them, or how intensely you focus on them, they give you energy. These are the activities that you need to invest time in, for they provide the path to fulfilling your purpose in life.

Then there are other activities in life – and this makes up the majority of activities, or all those outside of your unique abilities — that no matter what, drain you of energy. Regardless of how much you try to optimize your efforts, plan for their success or train to improve in them, these activities just suck the life out of you. There is nothing that can be done to make these activities align with your Energy, and thus you’re not fulfilling your purpose in life while engaged in them.

As human beings, it’s so easy for us to ignore our strengths because we don’t see them as strengths. Our strengths can feel deceptively insignificant, like everyone in the world possesses them. But they don’t. In fact, your most effortless activities will be the most impressive to others. And this has always been the universe’s plan.

If you’re operating within your strengths – or in alignment with your Energy — your activities will feel effortless. In the beginning it will feel like you’re not doing anything special, but stop connecting your level of pain with your level of impact. Instead, do what comes naturally to you, and allow your results to be your feedback.

When you’re invested in your strengths, abiding by your Energy, and avoiding those things that are so obviously not you, the results will blow beyond anything you’ve experienced before. It’s not going to happen overnight. Results in the physical world lag the immediate results we can experience in the spiritual and mental world, but it will happen. After all, our physical reality is nothing but a reflection of our former thinking, a reflection of our former alignment to our own unique Energy.

We’ve been brought-up to believe that you should push yourself out of your comfort zone. That you need to endure pain, suffering and back-breaking work to achieve success and fulfillment. And while massive sacrifice, a steadfast commitment toward your compelling future and significant time spent working within your unique ability are essential to achieving success, the point is that it doesn’t have to be painful.

Does this mean you shouldn’t work hard? Does this mean that you shouldn’t train to constantly get better? Does this mean that the achievement that you seek will come immediately? No, definitely not.

It simply means that the work you do should resonate with your Energy. Your activities should give you back more energy than you put in. You should feel exhausted at the end of the day, but not from pain and stress, but rather because the Energy in your core is overheating and needs to be recharged overnight to allow you to attack the next day with even more gusto.

Here’s three steps to finding your purpose in life.

Write down what activities (or activity) in life gives you more energy than you put in.

These are the activities where you can completely max out and use up your physical energy, and by doing so, you create more energy, making you simply want to do more. These activities “feel right,” and even though you work intensely on them, it feels effortless. The tough times, no matter how tough, are worthwhile. It’s never a matter of “if” these activities will produce the right results, but “when.” These activities follow the following principal:

Mental and spiritual energy out > physical energy in

I recommend conducting this exercise with other people close to you and who support your betterment. As stated above, it can be very difficult for people to identify their own strengths and unique abilities.

For me, that which gives me the greatest energy is speaking, inspiring, writing and teaching on the topics of human connection, high performance and life optimization. When I do this, I’m on fire, meaning I’m a better leader, a better husband, a better friend and everything in my life seems to have intense clarity. For this reason, I’ve learned that my purpose in life – what my Energy is guiding me to do — is to proactively drive others to become better versions of themselves.

Write down the activities in life that drain you of energy.

Be honest with yourself.

We have been ingrained to think we should be good at certain things. Leaders should be great managers, but this is not necessarily true. We’re taught to think, “If I don’t excel at operations, I’ll never be able to build a great company.” False. “As a CEO I should be the company’s best sales person.” Who said that?

The point it that there is no should. There is simply what vibes with you and what doesn’t. There are your unique abilities, and then there’s everything else. Stop pretending that you like certain activities when you hate them. Stop putting your weaknesses ahead of your strengths. Have the courage to be ok with not liking everything and not being good at everything. Only when you do this is true greatness – your true purpose in life — possible.

Obey your Energy.

Or more specifically, immediately start to figure out how to do more of No. 1 and less of No. 2. And once you’re Energy-aligned, give it everything you’ve got.

Just because you’re Energy-aligned and fulfilling your purpose in life, it doesn’t mean that everything will be perfect. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be great or even really good at what you do. But it does mean that you’ll feel good and that things will feel right. And with a commitment and a trust that the Energy inside you isn’t all for naught, but rather is a guide for you to fulfill your full potential, you’ll eventually create what you were meant to create. You’ll make the magic you are supposed to make. You’ll be, and become great.

Because your purpose in life is a never-ending journey. Those who recognize their Energy and are guided by it will always know their purpose and will be able to get back on track when an errant drifting-off occurs. Your purpose in life is not to do one thing, but rather, to be you.

You’re a human being, not a human doing, and your purpose is to be the human your Energy guides you to be every single day.

Entrepreneur.com | July 15, 2016 | Sean Kelly

Tag Archive for: #lifepurpose

Posts

1. It’s not the negative experience.

2. Everyone has a story.

3. Use your story as your motivation.

GIVING UP ON ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

NEGLECTING FRIENDSHIPS

BEING SEDENTARY

PUTTING OFF A HEALTH HISTORY

IGNORING STRESS MANAGEMENT

LETTING FEAR DRIVE DECISIONS

Write down what activities (or activity) in life gives you more energy than you put in.

Write down the activities in life that drain you of energy.

Obey your Energy.