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#Life : 3 Powerful Ways to Keep Your Past From Dictating Your Future…Share your Story, create Connections on a Deeper Level and However you Started Life will Become your Launch Pad Instead of your Burden.

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Growing up, I was a pretty unlikely candidate for the life I’m leading today, at least that’s what it looked like from the outside. I was raised in a rougher part of the Newark, N.J. area, and I stumbled into drugs and gang-related stuff pretty early. I got deep into alcohol, marijuana and even almost arrested on drug charges.

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I don’t share a lot of these details publicly, usually, but it’s important to me to honor where I came from and how my experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. As the Millennial Mentor, I connect with a lot of young people. I’m also really proud to have brought a start-up incubator to Newark, called Fownders, where I’m investing all of my energy into elevating the next wave of young creators who think a future like mine seems impossible.

I’ve heard a lot of stories.

And, we all have stories. We’ve done things we’re not proud of, we’ve overcome insane adversities, we are each a testament to the power of the human spirit in our own ways. It’s not what happens to us that matters — it’s the way we deal with it.

Something that needs to be emphasized is that your past doesn’t dictate your future. And while this phrase may get thrown around a lot in motivational circles, I’ve really lived myself into the truth of that. I’ve heard many very talented young people voice their concerns about being held back by where they’ve come from and what they’ve done.

From violence to homelessness, you name it, sometimes we don’t get handed the easiest spread of cards to work with. With that said, the best stories are always the ones of the underdog rising to the top, making it against all odds, and putting in the necessary faith and hard work to overcome their experiences and beliefs.

We all appreciate our successes much more when we really value the evolution of them. There are a few key things to remember when moving forward and feeling held back by something in your past:

1. It’s not the negative experience.

It’s never the experience that creates the pain or adversity for us, it’s the way we think about it. Sometimes this is a tough message to swallow, but the truth is that no matter what happens, if you believe you can transcend it, you will. The mind is very powerful, and it does create our experience of the world around us in a big way. So if you believe you can’t or that you’re trapped in a bad situation forever, your reality will reflect that. If you believe you are capable, that you are supported [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][or will find support] and that your presence is needed in the world — that’s what your experience will be like.

Related: A Strong Personal Brand Will Enhance Your Life, No Matter What You Do for a Living

 

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2. Everyone has a story.

Fear of judgment is a big thing. Many people argue that the fear of not being liked is one of the greatest human fears. I’d agree with this, because the larger of a presence you become, and the more visibility you become willing to show up for, the more you are apt to deal with people projecting their own pains and insecurities onto you. In other words, haters and judgment. You have to become rock solid in knowing that when other people judge you or where you’ve been, it’s really not about you. They have their own stories. It can take time and effort, but if you can look at everyone in this light, you become a lot less phased by the prospect of being judged.

3. Use your story as your motivation.

It would be really easy to stay stuck where you are or where you’ve been – but it would also be no way to live. If you have a desire to create or be something, then it’s imperative that you create or be that something, and with every ounce of belief that you can. When I look back on my experiences, they make me really excited to support other millennials, because I can resonate with a whole variety of different backgrounds and stories. From rock bottom to mega-success, I’ve been there. It keeps me humble, and that’s the most important thing you can be on your way to where you’re going — other than insanely faithful to your own worth. The two can go hand-in-hand, and they need to.

Related: Busting 7 of the Most Common Personal Branding Myths

The Bottom Line is that no matter what your past looks like, there are tons of other people who have been there. When you share your story, it also allows people to connect with you on a deep level, which builds a lot of respect and loyalty from your community. While it’s hard to let go of the fear of being judged and it’s a constant process, the more you focus on what you have to give rather than being defined by where you’ve been, the easier it is to keep moving forward.

 

Entrepreneur.com | September 2, 2016 | Gerard Adams

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#Leadership : 5 Things You Can Do At Home To Improve Your Life At Work…Don’t Underestimate the Power of Small Things Done at Home to Impact Success on the Job.

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 We all want to find happiness at work and at home, but 24% of U.S. employees say the balancing act is getting tougher to manage, according to a study by Ernst & Young (EY). That’s because work is spilling into time that should be spent on personal pursuits. About half of managers work more than 40 hours a week, the EY report found, and a study by Project: Time Off found that the majority (55%) of us end the year without taking advantage of paid time off. That unused vacation time totals 658 million days.

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But happiness experts say work-life balance is a myth. Work life and home life aren’t separate; there’s just “life,” and happiness comes from figuring out a way to combine the two seamlessly.

“People who are highly resilient don’t see the day in terms of separation,” saysMaria Sirois, clinical psychologist at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. “There isn’t work me versus home me. Ninety percent of success of life is about who we are and what we bring to the day at work and at home.”

Here are five things you can do at home that will promote happiness at work.

1. PRACTICE HAPPINESS

Research has found that happy people do better at work, so when you’re home, consciously choose to do activities that lift you, says Sirois.

“Home life often includes a list of chores and obligations. All of those responsibilities can be burdensome if you’re not also invigorated by what brings you joy,” she says. “When we create a home life filled every day with something that lifts us, we will transfer that happiness to work.”

It can also help to have a happiness check-in, adds Tim Bono, who lectures on the psychology of happiness at Washington University in St. Louis. “Take time every so often to remind yourself of what’s going well,” he says, adding:

It’s easy to get bogged down with reports, presentations, and other hassles at work, but it’s also important to direct attention to things that are going well for you. Research has shown that adults who take just a few minutes each week to reflect on what they are grateful for (even amid life’s stressors) feel better about their lives overall, report more optimism about their upcoming week, and even get sick less often.

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2. SCHEDULE MICRO-RECOVERY MOMENTS

Most of us have hours during the day when we operate at peak performance. The time of the day where we struggle to work, however, can be improved by practicing micro-recovery, says Sirois. “It’s those few minutes you set aside periodically to nourish yourself by doing activities that elevate calm and serenity or activities that increase energy and vitality,” she says.

Sirois suggests scheduling these mini-breaks into your day until it becomes a habit. Go for a walk outside, do some stretching, read poetry, or simply have a cup of tea. Choosing what to do will depend on what makes you happy, she says.

3. LEAD FROM YOUR CORE STRENGTHS

You will improve your life at work when you use your authentic qualities, says Sirois. “Strong characteristics define who you are, such as creative, energetic, optimistic, extroverted, compassionate, prudent, and much more,” she says. “It’s important to understand your core strengths and leverage them, because it will build engagement and energy.”

If you aren’t sure of your strengths, Sirois recommends filling out the free questionnaire at viacharacter.org. “The material is heavily researched by scientists in the field of positive psychology and backed by rigorous data,” she says, adding that people who are aware of their strengths and find a way to apply them at work find more meaning.

4. CREATE TECH BOUNDARIES

A CNBC Mobile Elite poll showed that 70% of executives feel that mobile technology helps work invade their leisure time.

Sometimes, the best way to avoid the temptation to work at home is to create a physical barrier to help keep yourself present with your family or friends, says Andrew Filev, CEO of work-management platform Wrike. “When you’re home, keep your device someplace out of site,” he suggests. “If you find it hard to part with your device, at least silence it or consider using airplane mode.

“Burnout is a real threat, and failing to give yourself adequate time to recharge your batteries can make it happen faster and worse,” says Filev. “If you rest and spend time with the people you care about, you’ll find your work benefits from it.”

5. GET ENOUGH SLEEP

Studies have shown that sleep deprivation can lead to cognitive impairment similar to that of alcohol intoxication. It also makes us more reactive to small nuisances that otherwise would have rolled right off our backs, adds Bono. Researchers at the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health in Helsinki found that the optimal amount of sleep for energy and wellness is seven to eight hours each night, according to the study published in the medical journal Sleep.

It’s easy to let sleep fall further down your list of priorities when you have too much on your plate. “What you don’t realize, however, is that the brain is doing a lot of important work when we sleep,” says Bono. “Sleep increases activity in the frontal lobe, which sharpens our mental acuity and helps us stay on task toward the next day’s goals,” he explains. “Sleep also helps us regulate our emotions and maintain a positive mood throughout the day.”

FastCompany.com |  STEPHANIE VOZZA | 08.23.16 |  5:45 AM

#Leadership : Determine Your Life’s Purpose in 10 Minutes. What’s yours? ….. Are we Spending our ‘Time’ Doing What we were Really Put on this Earth to Do?

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There are activities in life that no matter how much time you spend on them, or how intensely you focus on them, they give you energy. These are the activities that you need to invest time in, for they provide the path to fulfilling your purpose in life.

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What’s my purpose in life?   It’s an easy question to ponder and lose time contemplating. We’ve all been guilty of dwelling on it at some point. Those who know their purpose and go after it with conviction, they seem so “lucky,” while the rest of us are lost in a world of gray, moving from day to day wondering if what we do really matters, if we’re spending our time doing what we were really put on this earth to do.

 

But the search for our purpose isn’t some impossible philosophical exercise. Nor is it something that you need to spend your whole life searching for and struggling to determine. Because you already know the answer, and you’ve actually known it your entire life.  It’s right in front of your nose. Or perhaps more accurately, it’s within your nose, through your lungs and at the core of your central nervous system.

The answer is the same for everyone yet different at the same time. The answer is: Energy.

 

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But not just any energy.

As human beings, we have been given countless and miraculous gifts. God, the universe, the universal mind – whatever you want to call it based on whatever you believe — gave us the spectacular gift of life. And not just any life. A unique life.  A life that, while connected to everyone else, is uniquely ours.

And after the gift of life – which is certainly our greatest gift – the second greatest gift is the gift of Energy.

I’m not talking about the superficial (and lowercase) energy you get from coffee or going for a run, or after receiving a compliment or recognition.

I’m talking about the Energy at the core of your being, the Energy you were given before birth, and the Energy that makes you unique. The Energy that you’re either working with in life or against. The Energy that you either obey – because you know that your purpose in life is going with its flow — or the Energy you don’t recognize, leading to a life of enduring pain.

The Energy that was given to you as your day-in and day-out guide to fulfilling your purpose in life.

You see, the simplest way to know if you’re fulfilling your purpose in life is to ask yourself “How painful are my days? How hard and taxing is my work?” If your answer to these questions is anything on the medium to high scale, you’re not living your purpose.

You were designed to fulfill a certain purpose. It’s not something you create in your life. This purpose existed before you were born. To fulfill this purpose, you need to follow what your Energy is telling you. How do you know if you’re not paying attention?

When people go with the flow of their Energy, life seems almost too easy, too effortless. When you’re going against the flow of your Energy, everything seems needlessly difficult.

There are activities in life that no matter how much time you spend on them, or how intensely you focus on them, they give you energy. These are the activities that you need to invest time in, for they provide the path to fulfilling your purpose in life.

Then there are other activities in life – and this makes up the majority of activities, or all those outside of your unique abilities — that no matter what, drain you of energy. Regardless of how much you try to optimize your efforts, plan for their success or train to improve in them, these activities just suck the life out of you. There is nothing that can be done to make these activities align with your Energy, and thus you’re not fulfilling your purpose in life while engaged in them.

As human beings, it’s so easy for us to ignore our strengths because we don’t see them as strengths. Our strengths can feel deceptively insignificant, like everyone in the world possesses them. But they don’t. In fact, your most effortless activities will be the most impressive to others. And this has always been the universe’s plan.

If you’re operating within your strengths – or in alignment with your Energy — your activities will feel effortless. In the beginning it will feel like you’re not doing anything special, but stop connecting your level of pain with your level of impact. Instead, do what comes naturally to you, and allow your results to be your feedback.

When you’re invested in your strengths, abiding by your Energy, and avoiding those things that are so obviously not you, the results will blow beyond anything you’ve experienced before. It’s not going to happen overnight. Results in the physical world lag the immediate results we can experience in the spiritual and mental world, but it will happen. After all, our physical reality is nothing but a reflection of our former thinking, a reflection of our former alignment to our own unique Energy.

We’ve been brought-up to believe that you should push yourself out of your comfort zone. That you need to endure pain, suffering and back-breaking work to achieve success and fulfillment. And while massive sacrifice, a steadfast commitment toward your compelling future and significant time spent working within your unique ability are essential to achieving success, the point is that it doesn’t have to be painful.

Does this mean you shouldn’t work hard? Does this mean that you shouldn’t train to constantly get better? Does this mean that the achievement that you seek will come immediately? No, definitely not.

It simply means that the work you do should resonate with your Energy. Your activities should give you back more energy than you put in. You should feel exhausted at the end of the day, but not from pain and stress, but rather because the Energy in your core is overheating and needs to be recharged overnight to allow you to attack the next day with even more gusto.

Here’s three steps to finding your purpose in life.

Write down what activities (or activity) in life gives you more energy than you put in.

These are the activities where you can completely max out and use up your physical energy, and by doing so, you create more energy, making you simply want to do more. These activities “feel right,” and even though you work intensely on them, it feels effortless. The tough times, no matter how tough, are worthwhile. It’s never a matter of “if” these activities will produce the right results, but “when.” These activities follow the following principal:

Mental and spiritual energy out > physical energy in

I recommend conducting this exercise with other people close to you and who support your betterment. As stated above, it can be very difficult for people to identify their own strengths and unique abilities.

Related: 7 Apps to Help Integrate Tech With Self-Improvement Goals

For me, that which gives me the greatest energy is speaking, inspiring, writing and teaching on the topics of human connection, high performance and life optimization. When I do this, I’m on fire, meaning I’m a better leader, a better husband, a better friend and everything in my life seems to have intense clarity. For this reason, I’ve learned that my purpose in life – what my Energy is guiding me to do — is to proactively drive others to become better versions of themselves.

Write down the activities in life that drain you of energy.

Be honest with yourself.

We have been ingrained to think we should be good at certain things. Leaders should be great managers, but this is not necessarily true. We’re taught to think, “If I don’t excel at operations, I’ll never be able to build a great company.” False.  “As a CEO I should be the company’s best sales person.” Who said that?

Related: 4 Simple Strategies to Turn Your Passion Into a Paycheck

The point it that there is no should. There is simply what vibes with you and what doesn’t. There are your unique abilities, and then there’s everything else. Stop pretending that you like certain activities when you hate them. Stop putting your weaknesses ahead of your strengths. Have the courage to be ok with not liking everything and not being good at everything. Only when you do this is true greatness – your true purpose in life — possible.

Obey your Energy.

Or more specifically, immediately start to figure out how to do more of No. 1 and less of No. 2. And once you’re Energy-aligned, give it everything you’ve got.

Just because you’re Energy-aligned and fulfilling your purpose in life, it doesn’t mean that everything will be perfect. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be great or even really good at what you do. But it does mean that you’ll feel good and that things will feel right. And with a commitment and a trust that the Energy inside you isn’t all for naught, but rather is a guide for you to fulfill your full potential, you’ll eventually create what you were meant to create. You’ll make the magic you are supposed to make. You’ll be, and become great.

Related: 5 Key Books Every Entrepreneur Should Read

Because your purpose in life is a never-ending journey. Those who recognize their Energy and are guided by it will always know their purpose and will be able to get back on track when an errant drifting-off occurs. Your purpose in life is not to do one thing, but rather, to be you.

You’re a human being, not a human doing, and your purpose is to be the human your Energy guides you to be every single day.

 

Entrepreneur.com  |  July 15, 2016 | Sean Kelly 

#Strategy : 5 Ways To Use Life’s Challenges To Make You Better, Not Bitter…The “My-Life-Fell-Apart-at-Age-26 Club” is a Group that No One Wants to Join, but When We Do, we’re Always Eager to Meet the Other Members & Hear Their Stories.

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That Email was from Courtney Clark, and while our Stories Weren’t Quite the Same—I was Widowed at age 26 & She was Diagnosed with Cancer—we could relate to one another. But Clark’s story didn’t end after she beat Melanoma. Since then, she’s had two more recurrences of cancer. And as if that wasn’t enough to deal with, she also survived a brain aneurysm. Yet, rather than become bitter about the hand she’s been dealt, she chooses to spend her time teaching others about resilience.

Courtney Clark

The “My-Life-Fell-Apart-at-Age-26 Club” is a Group that No One Wants to Join, but When We Do, we’re Always Eager to Meet the Other Members & Hear Their Stories. So when I got an email a couple of weeks ago with a subject line that said, “My life blew up at age 26, too!” it caught my attention.

That email was from Courtney Clark, and while our stories weren’t quite the same—I was widowed at age 26 and she was diagnosed with cancer—we could relate to one another. But Clark’s story didn’t end after she beat Melanoma. Since then, she’s had two more recurrences of cancer. And as if that wasn’t enough to deal with, she also survived a brain aneurysm. Yet, rather than become bitter about the hand she’s been dealt, she chooses to spend her time teaching others about resilience.

Clark, who describes herself as the luckiest unlucky person in the world, is the author of The Giving Prescription, a book that describes how helping others provides physical and emotional healing to anyone going through traumatic circumstances. She’s also a keynote speaker and the founder of a nonprofit.

After several conversations with Clark, I wanted to know her secret to bouncing back after adversity. I asked her how has she’s handled so many health issues without turning into an angry, bitter person. Here are Clark’s five strategies for facing change and overcoming life’s challenges without resentment:

1. Concentrate on the Bull’s-Eye

Life is full of urgent activities—like that email that just pinged onto your computer as you were reading this sentence. In our busy lives, we often get distracted from the tasks that are really important, and start trying to do 25 other things, too.  But those 25 things put together are less important than the bull’s-eye. Particularly in times of challenge, you have to focus on what’s most important, and let the rest go.

 

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2. Be Willing to Go with Plan B

We’re told that successful people have plans. That’s true, but the really successful people are the ones who know what to do when their plan doesn’t work out. The key is learning how to let go of a plan that isn’t serving you.  I was diagnosed with cancer at 26 and learned that biological children weren’t likely in my future. Four years later, I met my teenaged son at a volunteer event. Motherhood doesn’t look like I expected, but my son is the child I was meant to parent. We have to let go of Plan A to make room for Plan B.

3. Focus on How You Deal, Not What You’re Dealt

Why did hundreds of people survive the Titanic, but Molly Brown is the only one who became infamous for it? Molly commandeered her lifeboat and organized months-long volunteer efforts on behalf of the other Titanic survivors, rallying everyone around her. Two people can be dealt the same issue, with dramatically different results.  Your life story isn’t about what happens to you, it’s about what you do from that moment on.

 

Forbes.com | July 13, 2015 | Amy Morin