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#Leadership : 6 Things Great Leaders Do Differently…Behavior can Change, & Leaders Who Work to Improve their Skills get Results.

Great leadership can be a difficult thing to pin down and understand. You know a great leader when you’re working for one, but even they can have a hard time articulating what it is that makes their leadership so effective.

Free- Boat going Nowhere

 

It was recently rumored that Starbucks’ CEO Howard Schultz would run for president, but Schultz shut the idea down almost immediately. He wrote in an article:

“Despite the encouragement of others, I have no intention of entering the presidential fray. I’m not done serving at Starbucks.”

Schultz commitment to his company over the temptation of the limelight is interesting. What’s admirable is his desire to be a leader who serves.

Service isn’t just something Schulz gives lip service to in the press; his mission is to create a company where people are treated with respect and dignity, and he backs this rhetoric up with his money and time. Starbucks will spend $250 million over the next 10 years to put benefit-eligible employees through college, and Schultz wakes up every day at 4:00 a.m. to send motivational e-mails to his employees (the email he wrote recently asking employees to show empathy for customers who have been affected by the plummeting stock market is an interesting example of this).

It’s through a leader’s actions—what he or she does and says on a daily basis—that the essence of great leadership becomes apparent.

“Dream more than others think practical. Expect more than others think possible. Care more than others think wise.”   –Howard Schultz

Behavior can change, and leaders who work to improve their skills get results.

In Schultz’s case, he’s been honing his leadership craft for three decades through, among other things, the direct coaching and mentoring of leadership expert Warren Bennis at USC.

Not everyone can take on Warren Bennis as a mentor, of course, but when it comes down to it, improving your leadership skills is within your control. You just need to study what great leaders do and to incorporate these behaviors into your repertoire.

There are six critical things that great leaders do that really stand out. Any of us can do the same.

#1 – They’re kind without being weak

One of the toughest things for leaders to master is kindness. Kindness shares credit and offers enthusiastic praise for others’ work. It’s a balancing act, between being genuinely kind and not looking weak. The key to finding that balance is to recognize that true kindness is inherently strong—it’s direct and straightforward. Telling people the difficult truth they need to hear is much kinder than protecting them (or yourself) from a difficult conversation. This is weak.

True kindness also doesn’t come with expectations. Kindness is weak when you use it in a self-serving manner. Self-serving kindness is thin—people can see right through it when a kind leader has an agenda. Think of Schultz, who dedicated $250 million to employee education with no strings attached, and as soon as employees finish their degree, they are free to walk out the door. That’strue kindness.

 

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#2 – They’re strong without being harsh

Strength is an important quality in a leader. People will wait to see if a leader is strong before they decide to follow his or her lead or not. People need courage in their leaders. They need someone who can make difficult decisions and watch over the good of the group. They need a leader who will stay the course when things get tough. People are far more likely to show strength themselves when their leader does the same.

A lot of leaders mistake domineering, controlling, and otherwise harsh behavior for strength. They think that taking control and pushing people around will somehow inspire a loyal following. Strength isn’t something you can force on people; it’s something you earn by demonstrating it time and again in the face of adversity. Only then will people trust that they should follow you.

We gravitate to confident leaders because confidence is contagious, and it helps us to believe that there are great things in store. The trick, as a leader, is to make certain your confidence doesn’t slip into arrogance and cockiness. Confidence is about passion and belief in your ability to make things happen, but when your confidence loses touch with reality, you begin to think you can do things you can’t and have done things you haven’t. Suddenly it’s all about you. This arrogance makes you lose credibility.

Great, confident leaders are still humble. They don’t allow their accomplishments and position of authority to make them feel that they’re better than anyone else. As such, they don’t hesitate to jump in and do the dirty work when needed, and they don’t ask their followers to do anything they aren’t willing to do themselves.

#4 – They stay positive, but remain realistic

Another major challenge that leaders face is finding the balance between keeping things positive and still being realistic. Think of a sailboat with three people aboard: a pessimist, an optimist, and a great leader. Everything is going smoothly until the wind suddenly sours. The pessimist throws his hands up and complains about the wind; the optimist sits back, saying that things will improve; but the great leaders says, “We can do this!” and he adjusts the sails and keeps the ship moving forward. The right combination of positivity and realism is what keeps things moving forward.

#5 – They’re role models, not preachers

Great leaders inspire trust and admiration through their actions, not just their words. Many leaders say that integrity is important to them, but great leaders walk their talk by demonstrating integrity every day. Harping on people all day long about the behavior you want to see has a tiny fraction of the impact you achieve by demonstrating that behavior yourself.

#6 – They’re willing to take a bullet for their people

The best leaders will do anything for their teams, and they have their people’s backs no matter what. They don’t try to shift blame, and they don’t avoid shame when they fail. They’re never afraid to say, “The buck stops here,” and they earn people’s trust by backing them up. Great leaders also make it clear that they welcome challenges, criticism, and viewpoints other than their own. They know that an environment where people are afraid to speak up, offer insights, and ask good questions is destined for failure.

Bringing It All Together

Great leadership is dynamic; it melds a variety of unique skills into an integrated whole. Incorporate the behaviors above into your repertoire, and you’ll see immediate improvement in your leadership skills.

What other behaviors define great leadership? Please share your thoughts on leadership in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Travis co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-foundedTalentSmart, the world’s #1 provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving 75% of Fortune 500 Companies.

Forbes.com | January 13, 2016 | Travis Bradberry

#BestofFSCBlog : #Leadership – 7 #LeadershipMistakes To Avoid. Great REAd!

It’s that time of year again—time for everyone, young and old, to make resolutions to better themselves in the upcoming year. And, taking a look at the resolutions lists we write, a lot of people tend to focus on positive “dos”—actions to take or new habits to form so that their health, attitude, or workplace is better in 2016. But undertaking a new action isn’t always quite enough to net a positive change. Think of it this way: just because you’ve resolved to take the stairs every day doesn’t mean you’ll lose very much weight if you don’t ditch your afternoon Snickers bar.

So we’ve got a different take on resolutions. What if you focus on breaking old bad habits instead? We’ve compiled a list of mistakes you won’t want to make next year if being a better leader is on your list of resolutions, and we challenge you to avoid these seven leadership mishaps throughout 2016. Your team (and company) will thank you.

1. Only focusing on the big picture

It’s true—great leaders communicate the big picture vision. It’s how they inspire people to strive for goals that are far off into the future, or still somewhat vague. But the best leaders also know that it’s a rookie mistake to fail to outline small goals for their people to achieve along the way. Creating smaller milestones helps leaders measure progress and reward results as the big picture comes more into focus. Don’t make the mistake of only communicating the high-level vision. Instead, plan out a path to success so your team has a roadmap instead of just a destination.

 

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2. Not delegating the work

This one’s a classic. Everyone’s had at least one micro-managing boss who is overly absorbed in small details and too controlling to allow team members to take the reigns. Avoid this pitfall by delegating work smartly. Give team members assignments according to their interest and expertise—or, even try letting them volunteer for tasks themselves. It will communicate your trust to the team, and alleviate tensions that result from heavy-handed management.

3. Failing to applaud small wins

Every big win is an accumulation of many smaller wins. So why would you let those everyday successes slip by unnoticed? Keep a stack of cards at your desk so you can write a thank-you note when someone goes above and beyond for you. Bring in a treat for the team when you know they’ve been pulling some extra weight. Your appreciation will go a long way. In fact, research shows that timely, meaningful recognition is the no. 1 thing that empowers employees to do great work.

4. Communicating poorly

There are a lot of ways to fall in this category. Wordy emails, lack of transparency and oversight, not having an open door policy…these are all surefire ways to be a bad communicator. Work on your communication skills—from your management style to your attitude—and you’ll see a transformation happen within the team. Leaders who are good communicators inspire action and innovation, and foster the kind of teamwork and creativity that drive results.

5. Setting yourself apart

The worst leaders are the ones who believe they’re better than everyone else—and they don’t bother to hide it. To avoid giving this impression, take the time to get to know teammates. Learn about who they are, their families and passions, and what drives them. Organize team lunches and team building activities. You could even simply move out of your corner office so that you’re closer to the team in the work environment. When teams know and trust one another, great things happen. And the first step to getting there is leading by example, and showing that teamwork and camaraderie are priorities.

6. Discouraging innovation

Maybe you try to be supportive of creativity, or you encourage team members to weigh in on important decisions. You may think that you’re fostering innovation. But if you’re not giving people room to tinker, try things out, and make mistakes, then you’re not really opening the door to true innovation. Be vocal about which projects your team can take their time on and really try to innovate new solutions for—and when (not if, since occasional failure is inevitable) things don’t work out, be supportive instead of upset. Your team will see that you’ve got their backs, and they will bring their best knowing you support them.

7. Forgetting to celebrate the milestones

Given the hectic schedule of 21st century professionals, you may think it’s not a big deal to forget a birthday or work anniversary here or there. But it is. In fact, it’s inexcusable, especially given the whole suite of organizational tools and apps you can use for reminders. If you’re still not on the tech train, write the important dates on a team calendar and post it somewhere everyone can see it on a daily basis. Research shows that milestones are important occasions to celebrate and appreciate your coworkers—employees of all generations around the globe agree. Learn how to show your appreciation appropriately, and you’re well on your way to becoming a fantastic leader.

Becoming a great leader isn’t all about the resolution list of “dos”. Eliminate these “don’ts” first to see the biggest impact. You may be surprised at how effectively they boost your team’s ability to collaborate, innovate, and deliver great work throughout 2016 and beyond.

Learn more about the NYT Bestselling book Great Work: How to Make a Difference People Love.

 

Forbes.com | January 8, 2016 |  David Sturt and Todd Nordstrom

#Leadership : 11 Ways Successful People Overcome Uncertainty…The Ability to Strategically Manage Ambiguity is One of the Most Important Skills You can Cultivate in an Increasingly Uncertain Business Environment.

Our brains are hardwired to make much of modern life difficult. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with uncertainty. On the bright side, if you know the right tricks, you can override your brain’s irrational tendencies and handle uncertainty effectively.

Free- Lonely Foggy Road

Our brains give us fits when facing uncertainty because they’re wired to react to it with fear. In a recent study, a Caltech neuroeconomist imaged subjects’ brains as they were forced to make increasingly uncertain bets—the same kind of bets we’re forced to make on a regular basis in business.

The less information the subjects had to go on, the more irrational and erratic their decisions became. You might think the opposite would be true—the less information we have, the more careful and rational we are in evaluating the validity of that information. Not so. As the uncertainty of the scenarios increased, the subjects’ brains shifted control over to the limbic system, the place where emotions, such as anxiety and fear, are generated.

This brain quirk worked great eons ago, when cavemen entered an unfamiliar area and didn’t know who or what might be lurking behind the bushes. Overwhelming caution and fear ensured survival. But that’s not the case today. This mechanism, which hasn’t evolved, is a hindrance in the world of business, where uncertainty rules and important decisions must be made every day with minimal information.

As we face uncertainty, our brains push us to overreact. Successful people are able to override this mechanism and shift their thinking in a rational direction. This requires emotional intelligence (EQ), and it’s no wonder that—among the 1 million-plus people that TalentSmart has tested—90% of top performers have high EQs. They earn an average of $28,000 more per year than their low-EQ counterparts do.

To boost your EQ, you have to get good at making sound decisions in the face of uncertainty, even when your brain fights against this. Fear not! There are proven strategies that you can use to improve the quality of your decisions when your emotions are clouding your judgment. What follows are eleven of the best strategies that successful people use in these moments.

1. They quiet their limbic systems

The limbic system responds to uncertainty with a knee-jerk fear reaction, and fear inhibits good decision-making. People who are good at dealing with uncertainty are wary of this fear and spot it as soon as it begins to surface. In this way, they can contain it before it gets out of control. Once they are aware of the fear, they label all the irrational thoughts that try to intensify it as irrational fears—not reality—and the fear subsides. Then they can focus more accurately and rationally on the information they have to go on. Throughout the process, they remind themselves that a primitive part of their brain is trying to take over and that the logical part needs to be the one in charge. In other words, they tell their limbic system to settle down and be quiet until a hungry tiger shows up.

 

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2. They stay positive

Positive thoughts quiet fear and irrational thinking by focusing your brain’s attention on something that is completely stress-free. You have to give your wandering brain a little help by consciously selecting something positive to think about. Any positive thought will do to refocus your attention. When things are going well and your mood is good, this is relatively easy. When you’re stressing over a tough decision and your mind is flooded with negative thoughts, this can be a challenge. In these moments, think about your day, and identify one positive thing that happened, no matter how small. If you can’t think of anything from the current day, reflect on the previous day or days or even the previous week, or perhaps you’re looking forward to an exciting event. The point here is that you must have something positive that you’re ready to shift your attention to when your thoughts turn negative due to the stress of uncertainty.

3. They know what they knowand what they don’t

When uncertainty makes a decision difficult, it’s easy to feel as if everything is uncertain, but that’s hardly ever the case. People who excel at managing uncertainty start by taking stock of what they know and what they don’t know and assigning a factor of importance to each. They gather all the facts they have, and they take their best shot at compiling a list of things they don’t know, for example, what a country’s currency is going to do or what strategy a competitor will employ. They actually try to identify as many of these things as possible because this takes away their power.

4. They embrace that which they can’t control

We all like to be in control. After all, people who feel like they’re at the mercy of their surroundings never get anywhere in life. But this desire for control can backfire when you see everything that you can’t control or don’t know as a personal failure. People who excel at managing uncertainty aren’t afraid to acknowledge what’s causing it. In other words, successful people live in the real world. They don’t paint any situation as better or worse than it actually is, and they analyze the facts for what they are. They know that the only thing they really control is the process through which they reach their decisions. That’s the only rational way to handle the unknown, and the best way to keep your head on level ground. Don’t be afraid to step up and say, “Here’s what we don’t know, but we’re going forward based on what we do know. We may make mistakes, but that’s a lot better than standing still.”

 

Bringing It All Together: The ability to strategically manage ambiguity is one of the most important skills you can cultivate in an increasingly uncertain business environment. Try the strategies and your ability to handle uncertainty will take a huge step in the right direction.

5. They focus only on what matters

Some decisions can make or break your company. Most just aren’t thatimportant. The people who are the best at making decisions in the face of uncertainty don’t waste their time getting stuck on decisions where the biggest risk is looking foolish in front of their co-workers. When it comes down to it, almost every decision contains at least a small factor of uncertainty—it’s an inevitable part of doing business. Learning to properly balance the many decisions on your plate, however, allows you to focus your energy on the things that matter and to make more informed choices. It also removes the unnecessary pressure and distraction caused by a flurry of small worries.

6. They don’t seek perfection

Emotionally intelligent people don’t set perfection as their target because they know there’s no such thing as a perfect decision in an uncertain situation. Think about it: human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure, and you end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently, instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve.

7. They don’t dwell on problems

Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems that you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress, which hinders performance. When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and improves performance. Emotionally intelligent people don’t allow themselves to become preoccupied with the uncertainties they face. Instead, they focus all their attention and effort on what they can do, in spite of the uncertainty, to better their situation.

8. They know when to trust their gut

Our ancestors relied on their intuition—their gut instinct—for survival. Since most of us don’t face life-or-death decisions every day, we have to learn how to use this instinct to our benefit. Often we make the mistake of talking ourselves out of listening to our gut instinct, or we go too far in the other direction and impulsively dive into a situation, mistaking our assumptions for instincts. People who successfully deal with uncertainty recognize and embrace the power of their gut instincts, and they rely on some tried-and-true strategies to do so successfully:

They recognize their own filters. They’re able to identify when they’re being overly influenced by their assumptions and emotions or by another person’s opinion, for example. Their ability to filter out the feelings that aren’t coming from their intuition helps them focus on what is.

They give their intuition some space. Gut instincts can’t be forced. Our intuition works best when we’re not pressuring it to come up with a solution. Albert Einstein said he got his best ideas while sailing, and when Steve Jobs was faced with a tough problem, he’d head out for a walk.

They build a track record. People who deal well with uncertainty take the time to practice their intuition. They start by listening to their gut on small things and seeing how it goes so that they’ll know whether they can trust it when something big comes around.

9. They have contingency plans . . .

Staying on top of uncertainty is as much about planning for failure as it is about hoping for the best. Experts at handling uncertainty aren’t afraid to admit that they could be wrong, and that frees them up to make detailed, rational, and transparent contingency plans before taking action. Successful people know they aren’t always going to make the right decision. They know how to absorb and understand mistakes so that they can make better decisions in the future. And they never let mistakes get them down for too long.

10. . . . but they don’t ask, “What if?”

“What if?” statements throw fuel on the fire of stress and worry, and there’s no place for them in your thinking once you have good contingency plans in place. Things can go in a million different directions, and the more time you spend worrying about the possibilities, the less time you’ll spend focusing on taking action that will calm you down and keep your stress under control. Successful people know that asking “what if?” will only take them to a place they don’t want, or need, to go to.

11. When all else fails, they breathe

You have to remain calm to make good decisions in the face of uncertainty. An easy way to do this lies in something that you have to do every day anyway—breathing. The practice of being in the moment with your breathing trains your brain to focus solely on the task at hand and quiets distracting thoughts. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a couple of minutes to focus on your breathing. Close the door, put away all other distractions, and just sit in a chair and breathe. The goal is to spend the entire time focused only on your breathing, which will prevent your mind from wandering. Think about how it feels to breathe in and out. This sounds simple, but it’s hard to do for more than a minute or two. It’s all right if you get sidetracked by another thought—this is sure to happen at the beginning—and you just need to bring your focus back to your breathing. If staying focused on your breathing proves to be a real struggle, try counting each breath in and out until you get to twenty, and then start again from one. Don’t worry if you lose count; you can always just start over. This task may seem too easy or even a little silly, but you’ll be surprised by how calm you feel afterward and how much easier it is to let go of distracting thoughts that otherwise seem to lodge permanently inside your brain.

 Bringing It All Together

The ability to strategically manage ambiguity is one of the most important skills you can cultivate in an increasingly uncertain business environment. Try the strategies above, and your ability to handle uncertainty will take a huge step in the right direction.

How do your skills measure up? What do you do when faced with uncertainty? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Travis co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-foundedTalentSmart, the world’s #1 provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving 75% of Fortune 500 Companies.

 

Forbes.com | December 21, 2015 | Travis Bradberry 

#Leadership : The Only Thing Not to Fear Is Success Itself …. Can you Imagine an #Entrepreneur/ #Manager Who is Actually Afraid of #Success? None will Ever Admit it Openly, but I’m a Strong Believer that Actions or Lack of Action Speaks Louder than Words.

Can you imagine an entrepreneur/manager who is actually afraid of success? None will ever admit it openly, but I’m a strong believer that actions or lack of action speaks louder than words. In my years of advising startups, I’ve seen too many cases of seemingly irrational actions, or just freezing with that “deer in the headlights” look when it’s time to make a critical move.

Free- Under a Bridge

I see it in the technologists who never get around to shipping their product, nominally because it isn’t finished yet. I see it in the business person who has plenty of funding, but won’t spend a dime on marketing to get the word out, just to conserve resources. After years of hard work, they always have rational excuses but really no one to blame but their own internal fears of success.

Related: You Will Fail, But Don’t Ever Consider Yourself a Failure

So, if your startup seems stuck in a rut these days, maybe it’s time to take a hard look at these common internal challenges, to see if you are actually the real limit to your success in business than the faltering economy or tough competitors:

1. You need to be in control of every detail.

Control freaks find it hard to survive as entrepreneurs, primarily because none of us have the time or skills to do everything that needs to be done in a business. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from advisors and to hire help (do what needs to be done) rather than just helpers (do what you tell them).

 

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2. You just want to be treated as another member of the team.

Every successful business needs someone in charge — the buck stops here, and hard decisions have to be made. Some entrepreneurs fear being seen as the boss, so they try to make every move a team decision often resulting in no decision or analysis paralysis. It’s time to be the leader.

3. You don’t want to give up your current lifestyle.

Some entrepreneurs unconsciously fear that the focus and dedication required for success will change their lifestyle to one they don’t enjoy or their friends won’t appreciate. In fact, one of the many challenges of a new business is to balance personal and family life and continue outside activities. Face it.

4. You’re afraid to ask for and spend other people’s money.

It takes money to make money. Real startup growth usually requires an initial infusion of cash to kick-start marketing, hire staff and build inventory. Soliciting and managing outside funds is a fear that every entrepreneur has to overcome for success. The challenge is not to let it get too easy.

Related: 6 Thoughts on Why Facing Your Fears Could Help You Achieve Massive Success

5. You’re unable to take enough risk due to fear of failure.

There are no certainties in business, so taking a risk is required, and one or more failures is about average. Neither is life-threatening, and true friends and family will not desert you after a few setbacks. Successful entrepreneurs never give up and wear their failures as a badge of courage.

6. You can’t possibly be smart enough to succeed in business.

Maybe your parents were not supportive, or you struggled in school, so your self-confidence has never risen above a certain point. These fears can be overcome, by setting small milestones early and often and working upward. Business success requires street smarts, not book smarts.

7. You hate stepping out of your comfort zone.

Even experienced entrepreneurs often keep coming back to the same formulas and tools, which worked at some level and at some point in time. The challenge is that the business world keeps changing, and future success requires new creativity and innovation. Force yourself to step outside the box.

Successful entrepreneurs almost always start with a vision and a higher level purpose than just making money. It helps to communicate this higher purpose, to motivate you and overcome the fear of the unknown. Success does not require that you be fearless, but only that you be determined to transform fears into positive learning actions rather than negative roadblocks.

The ultimate fear to overcome is the fear of success per se. This is the most debilitating, since it usually comes from a deep-seated desire to conform and blend in. It can cause you to lose faith in your abilities and give up your vision at the slightest setback. Keep your vision and purpose at the forefront to motivate you and allow you to step beyond all your fears to the entrepreneurial success you deserve.

Related: Don’t Let Caution Turn to Cowardice. Leave Doubt Behind.

Article Posted on December 18, 2015

<b>Get Your Valuation</b>

Author: Martin Zwilling

Veteran startup mentor, executive, blogger, author, tech professional, and Angel investor.

Martin Zwilling is the founder and CEO of Startup Professionals, a company that provides products and services to startup founders and small business owners. The author of Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Entrepreneur? and Attracting an Angel, he writes a daily blog for entrepreneurs and dispenses advice on the subject of startups.

 

#Leadership : 7 Steps to Increasing your #Resilience … #Adversity Happens. That’s a Given. How you Deal with It is the Difference between Merely Surviving or Thriving.

Being resilient doesn’t mean waltzing though life stress- and pain-free.

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http://www.businessinsider.com/7-steps-to-increasing-your-resilience-2015-11

#Leadership : Top 10 Leadership Books of 2015…Hone your #Management Skills with the Latest & Greatest #Books on #Teams & Leadership.

“Whenever I found myself pressing on, even though I’d pissed off my boss, his boss, my whole department or another department, I find myself thinking, ‘What is the worst that can happen? They will fire me.’ I had realized that I’d rather be fired then be a yes-man, and it’s been the single best thing for my career.”

 

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http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/top-10-leadership-books-of-2015.html

#Leadership : The Secret to How People Work Well Under Pressure…The Trick is, of Course, Developing the Ability to Handle Pressure. So, How Do you Do It?

You’re up against a lot at work — environmental factors are likely killing your productivity, your more socially savvy coworkers could be getting promotions over you, and you may even be tempted to cheat your way to the top. It’s a lot of pressure, and one of the ways that we can truly get a glimpse at our character is by our actions and attitudes in the face of that pressure.

 

 

Most career paths come with their stresses, but others are particularly well-known for being high-pressure gigs — think Wall Street finance jobs, management positions, and pretty much anything involving customer service. The people who typically succeed at those positions, however, are the ones who can best handle stress and pressure. An ability to remain cool and confident under pressure is one trait that is shared among many of the world’s business and political leaders, as well as many of history’s most famous and influential names.

 The trick is, of course, developing the ability to handle pressure. So, how do you do it?

Essentially, handling pressure comes down to meshing the ability to assess one’s surroundings in a thought-out and logical manner with composed behavior.

For example, if you’re working in a kitchen and there’s a grease fire at one of the cooking stations, what do you do? Do you panic, and dump a bucket of water on the fire? Or can you think on your feet, walk briskly to the fire extinguisher, and use it to dispose of the problem?

Or put yourself in another position. If you’re in a customer service position and have a line of angry, screaming customers all looking to make you the target of their ire, do you run away, start crying, or take control of the situation?

 

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You can guess which type of person hiring managers are going to want to put out on the floor, and it’s not the guy who’s going to run away or start with the waterworks. But overall, the real key to handling stress and high-pressure situations is as simple as this: never stand still.

To reiterate, the best thing you can do in high-stress, high-pressure situations is to keep moving. Simply stay on your feet, and engage with the crisis around you. Fear can be paralyzing — but as previously mentioned, it’s the ability to push through that paralysis, logically take stock of what’s going on, and grab a hold on the situation that makes a true leader.

We’ve written before about how, in many professional settings, emotion can actually be your biggest weakness. This rings true in the face of stress and pressure — if you let your emotions (fear, anger, etc.) take the wheel, you’re going to go careening off a cliff.

 Though you will want to keep your emotions in check, focusing all of your energy on staying calm could backfire as well. According to Alison Wood Brooks of the Harvard Business School, who has done a good deal of researchinto the best way to handle stress and pressure in a variety of situations, staying upbeat, yet focused, is the ideal way to tackle hairy situations.

“People have a very strong intuition that trying to calm down is the best way to cope with their anxiety, but that can be very difficult and ineffective,” she said, according to a recent article from Inc. “When people feel anxious and try to calm down, they are thinking about all the things that could go badly. When they are excited, they are thinking about how things could go well.”

Clearly, handling pressure is one of thosesimple, yet complicated’ abilities. To really boil it down, and work on your own abilities to handle stress, simply remembering to not freeze up, and to control your emotions in the face of screaming customers or grease fires is a great place to start. But it’s going to take balance — you don’t want to calm yourself down to the point that your mind is flooded with the worst possible outcomes.

Handling pressure is a learned skill, and one that is very valuable. It’s something that separates the ‘men from the boys’, and can get you a long way if you can treat the ability like a muscle, and exercise it. When the time comes to put it to use, you’ll be glad you did.

Follow Sam on Twitter @SliceOfGinger

 

 CheatSheet.com | October 31, 2015 | Sam Becker

#Leadership : 31% Of Execs Say A Colleague Has Tried To Make Them Look Bad…So What’s the Best Way to Respond when a CoWorker Sabotages You?

Some Professionals are So Competitive that They’ll Do Just about Anything to Get Ahead,” says Diane Domeyer, executive director of The Creative Group, in a press release. “Being able to handle challenging or difficult coworkers—and maintaining healthy working relationships—is  crucial for career success, particularly in environments that require a great deal of collaboration.”

businesswoman-thinking-2

If you Think you’re Having a Bad Day at Work, Consider This: Almost 1 in 3 (31%) of Executives say a Colleague has Tried to make them Look Bad on the Job, according to a survey by The Creative Group.  The good news is that this is an improvement from the 50% of execs who answered in the affirmative in 2008. The bad news, of course, is that this still happens with some frequency.

Some professionals are so competitive that they’ll do just about anything to get ahead,” says Diane Domeyer, executive director of The Creative Group, in a press release. “Being able to handle challenging or difficult coworkers—and maintaining healthy working relationships—is  crucial for career success, particularly in environments that require a great deal of collaboration.”

So what’s the best way to respond when a coworker sabotages you? According to the survey, 41% feel it’s best to confront the person directly, and another 40% believe notifying the offender’s manager or human resources is the best route.

Here’s what the experts have to say:

Take a moment. Your first inclination might be to act right away, but your best bet is to give yourself some time to cool down. “Avoid reacting or responding in the heat of the moment,” Domeyer says. “Only when you are calm and collected should you ask to have a private conversation with your coworker. Emailing or instant messaging about a sensitive subject can easily lead to misinterpretation.”

Reflect on what happened. “What were your colleague’s intentions?” Domeyer asks. “Did you play a role in the problem? Before broaching the subject with anyone, try to identify the person’s motives and any steps you could have taken to avoid the situation.”

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Keep it clean. “Keep the discussion focused on how your colleague’s actions have made you feel rather than hurling accusations, and give him or her a chance to respond,” Domeyer says.

Listen closely. “Pay close attention to what your colleague has to say,” Domeyer says. “Even if you cannot see eye to eye, you’ll get a better sense of how your coworker thinks, which can help you predict future behavior.”

Stay positive. Keep your emotions in check. “Toxic people like to be around people who fuel the negativity,” says Stacia Pierce, a career expert and the CEO of Ultimate Lifestyle Enterprises based in Orlando. “When you keep a happy disposition, they will usually overlook you as someone to spew venom with.”

Document it. “It is so critical to document everything this person is doing,” says Jeanine Swatton, director of developer evangelism at Yodlee Interactive. “This detailed record keeping is extremely helpful if the behavior continues. You have more credibility.”

 Skip the payback. When you’ve been burned by a coworkers, it’s tempting to plot your revenge. “But the ability to handle difficult coworkers is vital for career success,” Domeyer says. “Try to behave in a professional, tactful manner while also keeping your guard up. If you get involved in a tit-for-tat game, you’ll likely damage your reputation and credibility.”

Recruit help if necessary. “Share the situation with a trusted colleague such as a direct manager or HR,” says Todd Horton, founder and CEO of employee recognition company KangoGift and long-time human resources veteran. “While it may feel odd to bring in other parties, the goal is to ensure that everyone has a productive environment.”

Don’t gossip. “Only address the issue with a manager or supervisor,” says Felicia Kinlock, a social worker and confidence coach for Millennial women. “Avoid talking about this person and his or her sabotaging ways with other colleagues. It spreads workplace gossip and makes you appear immature.”

— Follow Kate Ashford on Twitter.

Forbes.com | August 26, 2015 | Kate Ashford 

#Leadership : 8 Powerful Ways To Mold Your Children Into Leaders…As Parents & Caretakers of Children, their Path to Leadership is in Our Hands.

The Road to Success is Paved with Failure. When you try to Shield your Children from Failure in Order to Boost their Self-Esteem, they have Trouble Tolerating the Failure Required to Succeed as a Leader.

Mother

We all want our children to become leaders.  Whether they spend the bulk of their days in the mailroom or the corner office, we want our children to grow to be courageous, passionate and authentic. We want their actions to inspire other people to be their best, to get more out of life than they ever thought possible.

As parents and caretakers of children, their path to leadership is in our hands.

We can model and teach the skills that will equip them to lead themselves and others in this hyper-competitive world, or we can allow them to fall victim to the kind of thinking that makes them slaves to the status quo.

It’s a big responsibility—but when isn’t being a parent a massive responsibility?  The beauty of building children into leaders is that it’s the little things we do every day that mold them into the people they’ll become.

Focus on The 8 Actions Below, and you’ll build leadership in your children and yourself.

1- Model Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional intelligence is that “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible; it affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.

Children learn emotional intelligence from their parents, plain and simple. As your children watch you every day, they absorb your behavior like a sponge. Children are particularly attuned to your awareness of emotions, the behavior you demonstrate in response to strong emotions and how you react and respond to their emotions.

EQ is one of the biggest drivers of success in leadership positions. TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that EQ is responsible for 58% of a leader’s job performance. Likewise, 90% of top-performing leaders have high EQs.

Most people do very little to develop their EQ growing up. Just 36% of the people we tested are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen. Children who develop a high level of EQ carry these skills into adulthood, and this gives them a leg up in leadership and in life.

 

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2- Don’t Obsess About Achievement

Parents get sucked into obsessing about achievement because they believe that this will make their children into high-achievers. Instead, fixating on achievement creates all sorts of problems for kids. This is especially true when it comes to leadership, where focusing on individual achievement gives kids the wrong idea about how work gets done.

Simply put, the best leaders surround themselves with great people because they know they can’t do it alone. Achievement-obsessed children are so focused on awards and outcomes that they never fully understand this. All they can see is the player who’s handed the MVP trophy and the celebrity CEO who makes the news—they assume it’s all about the individual. It’s a rude awakening once they discover how real life works.

3- Don’t Praise Too Much

Children need praise to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately, piling on the praise doesn’t give them extra self-esteem. Children need to believe in themselves and to develop the self-confidence required to become successful leaders, but if you gush every time they put pen to paper or kick a ball (the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality), this creates confusion and false confidence. Always show your children how proud you are of their passion and effort; just don’t paint them as superstars when you know it isn’t true.

4- Allow Them To Experience Risk And Failure

Success in business and in life is driven by risk. When parents go overboard protecting their children, they don’t allow them to take risks and reap the consequences. When you aren’t allowed to fail, you don’t understand risk. A leader can’t take appropriate risks until he or she knows the bitter taste of failure that comes with risking it all and coming up short.

The road to success is paved with failure. When you try to shield your children from failure in order to boost their self-esteem, they have trouble tolerating the failure required to succeed as a leader. Don’t rub their face in it either. Children need your support when they fail. They need to know you care. They need to know that you know how much failure stings. Your support allows them to embrace the intensity of the experience and to know that they’ll make it through it all right. That, right there, is solid character building for future leaders.

5- Say No

Overindulging children is a surefire way to limit their development as leaders. To succeed as a leader, one must be able to delay gratification and work hard for things that are really important. Children need to develop this patience. They need to set goals and experience the joy that comes with working diligently towards them. Saying no to your children will disappoint them momentarily, but they’ll get over that. They’ll never get over being spoiled.

6- Let Children Solve Their Own Problems

There’s a certain self-sufficiency that comes with being a leader. When you’re the one making the calls, you should also be the one who needs to stay behind and clean up the mess these create. When parents constantly solve their children’s problems for them, children never develop the critical ability to stand on their own two feet. Children who always have someone swooping in to rescue them and clean up their mess spend their whole lives waiting for this to happen. Leaders take action. They take charge. They’re responsible and accountable. Make certain your children are as well.

7- Walk Your Talk

Authentic leaders are transparent and forthcoming. They aren’t perfect, but they earn people’s respect by walking their talk. Your children can develop this quality naturally, but only if it’s something they see you demonstrate. To be authentic, you must be honest in all things, not just in what you say and do but also in who you are. When you walk your talk, your words and actions will align with who you claim to be. Your children will see this and aspire to do the same.

8- Show You’re Human

No matter how indignant and defiant your children are at any moment, you’re still their hero and their model for the future. This can make you want to hide your past mistakes for fear that they’ll be enticed to repeat them. The opposite is true. When you don’t show any vulnerability, your children develop intense guilt about every failure because they believe that they’re the only ones to make such terrible mistakes.

To develop as leaders, children need to know that the people they look up to aren’t infallible. Leaders must be able to process their mistakes, learn from them, and move forward to be better people. Children can’t do this when they’re overcome by guilt. They need someone—a real, vulnerable person—to teach them how to process mistakes and to learn from them. When you show them how you’ve done this in the past, you’re doing just that.

Bringing It All Together

We can mold our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this.

How are you molding your children into leaders? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Mother

Forbes.com | August 11, 2015 | Travis Bradberry