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Strategy: How To Stand Strong When Facing Adversity…It’s Funny How Sometimes the People you’d Take a Bullet for are the Ones Behind the Trigger.

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It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for are the ones behind the trigger. Actually it’s not that funny at all…it’s really sad when it happens to be true. It’s unbelievably hard when someone you love and respect and consider a friend does something to hurt you deeply. It’s downright brutal.

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I’m sure many of us have been through times where this has happened. We are betrayed by someone we once trusted and believed in, and that we thought trusted and believed in us. Then we find out later that this person we would have literally taken a bullet for is the one standing behind the trigger pointing the gun at us. It is a horrific experience to go through.

Whether it happens at the hand of a once valued friend or coworker, or a beloved family member, or a former spouse we once gave our heart to, or a business partner we once trusted…betrayal by anyone we once cared about is one of the most heartbreaking things to recover from.

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It becomes even harder to recover when that person goes on to do all they can to slander you, spread lies about you, and try to paint a picture of you that couldn’t be farther from the truth of who you are. But what can you do? You can’t force them to stop lying about you and slandering you. I suppose you could take legal action, and sometimes you might not have any other choice than to do that, but at the end of the day everyone loses in lawsuits except for the lawyers. So what then can you really do? I’ve put a lot of thought into this subject lately and here is what I have decided:

First and foremost, you have to accept the fact that you can’t control the lies other people will tell about you, and the more you try to the more frustrated you will become.

Second, remember that the only thing you do control is how you react to their lies. Don’t ever stoop to their level. Don’t pay them back by spreading lies and slander about them too. The only revenge you can allow yourself to get is to leave them behind to wallow in their misery while you simply move forward with your life.

Third, you have to accept that the most you can do to show the world who you truly are is to try every day to live your life in such a manner that anyone who truly knows you won’t believe their lies.

Fourth, never forget that what other people think isn’t what should matter at all – the only thing that matters is what God (or the universe, or whatever higher power you turn to) thinks, and what you know in your heart God thinks about you. That’s it. As long as you know God is proud of you then you don’t need to worry about anyone else’s opinion of you because God is the only one with a perfect knowledge of who you are and what you’ve done…everyone else is just guessing. God is the only one equipped to pass righteous judgement on you and thank heavens for that!

Fifth, is the one great lesson that we can learn from the unfair treatment we receive from others, and that is: Never allow yourself to judge someone else by the negative opinion of others! Recognize how horrible it made you feel when someone judged you unfairly or when believed lies and slander about you.

When you hear someone spreading lies or sharing mean gossip about someone else, stop yourself from taking their word for it. Always remember that you shouldn’t believe the unkind things you hear about someone are true just because someone with venom toward them said they are.

“What’s that?… You heard a bunch of stories about me? From someone who hates me?…Well then it must be true…!”

At the end of the day you can always tell when someone is miserable in their own life because they spend their life looking for ways to destroy someone else’s. When people betray you, spread lies about you and slander you, you simply have to make the decision to remove them from your life…and you can’t allow yourself to mourn the passing of these people from your life because the only purpose they serve is to drag you down.

“Life is like Twitter TWTR -1.14%. You can’t control what people say and do. You can just follow or unfollow them.”

My advice is this: Unfollow them. Then move forward with your life doing the best you know how to do, surrounding yourself with positive people who believe in you and inspire you. And never forget that you are amazing!

~Amy Rees Anderson (follow my daily blogs atwww.amyreesanderson.com/blog )