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Your #Career : The Mistakes You Make in a Meeting’s First Milliseconds…People will Make Snap Judgments as Soon as They Meet you, But you Can Turn This to your Advantage.

Hilary Blair has acted professionally and served as chief executive of her own communications-coaching company for the past seven years. She oversees a staff of 13 and counts Staples and Boeing among her clients. She says her success comes despite the first impression she makes on some people, not because of it.

“I remind everyone of their second-grade teacher,” says Ms. Blair, chief executive of Articulate Real & Clear in Denver. “And if they didn’t like their second-grade teacher, I’m in trouble.”

A growing body of research shows the snap judgments people make about others’ trustworthiness are wrong more often than most people think. These first impressions are formed in milliseconds, based on instinctive responses in the brain’s emotion-processing center, the amygdala.

Some people conclude a stranger is reliable because he or she looks like someone trustworthy the person already knows, says Alexander Todorov, a leading researcher and author of a 2017 book on the topic, “Face Value: The Irresistible Influence of First Impressions.” Or they make judgments based on stereotypes, such as an unconscious belief that older or more feminine-looking people are more trustworthy, he says.

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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This poses a challenge to anyone who must gain others’ trust to perform well in meetings, interviews or other gatherings.

There are ways to head off other people’s shaky snap judgments, by being mindful of how they might see you. Some visual cues are beyond a person’s control. Faces with a wider distance between the eyes and eyebrows are seen as more trustworthy, research shows.

But people who use and teach these skills, including actors and courtroom trial strategists, say you can control other visual cues. A happy expression, with the corners of the mouth turned upward and eyebrows relaxed, is likely to inspire trust, research shows. People teamed in an investment game with online partners whose facial images appeared friendly and reliable entrusted their partners with 42% more money than those whose partners looked downbeat and threatening, says a 2012 study by British and U.S. researchers.

Facial expressions are important even when you think no one is looking. People tend to distrust others whose “dominant face,” or habitual expression, is grumpy, disapproving or angry, says Judson Vaughn, an impression-management consultant. And suddenly switching that downbeat expression to a 1,000-watt smile, just because someone is looking, is likely to undermine trust even more, he says.

Mr. Vaughn, a former character actor, says casting directors’ snap judgments about him, based on fleeting first impressions in the audition room, used to cost him roles he wanted in TV and film years ago.

He began adapting his facial expression, body language and stance the moment he entered the room to suit the role he wanted. Mr. Vaughn landed more roles as a trustworthy good guy by wearing a pleasant expression that warmed to a smile when he faced the director, shoulders erect, at a respectful distance. Mr. Vaughn, chief executive of First Impressions HQ in Atlanta, also won more bad-guy roles by making sure the director’s first impression was of a shifty character—by hunching his shoulders, wearing a hostile expression and eyeing the director askance.

Lisa Peers, an actor and workplace-communications coach, advises clients to prepare themselves mentally to impress new acquaintances by pausing for a few moments beforehand to think about what they want to accomplish with the other person.

She recommends using breathing techniques to foster relaxed, confident movement, and striving for “symmetry in your stance, with your shoulders straight and even. That first entrance in the room is the same as that first entrance of your character on stage,” says Ms. Peers, chief executive of Peers & Players, a workplace-communication training firm in San Francisco.

When Ms. Blair greets a new acquaintance, she avoids sending mixed messages. She stands with her hands relaxed and visible at her side, rather than hidden in her pockets or crossed defensively in front of her. This suggests that your warm greeting is genuine and you have no secret agenda or need to protect yourself, she says.

Mr. Vaughn also advises adjusting your stance and posture, leaning or turning toward the other person to show you’re focused intently on what he or she is thinking and feeling. Rather than extending your arm stiffly to shake hands at a distance, relax your arm and lower your elbow to your side, drawing the other person closer to you, he says. “This shows you’ve made a subconscious decision to trust the person, without having spoken a word,” he says.

Stephen Colavito used Mr. Vaughn’s techniques in an arbitration case against a former employer years ago. He consciously maintained a confident, positive facial expression throughout the proceedings, even when the opposing attorney asked tough questions, or other participants said things he didn’t agree with. Mr. Colavito also turned in his seat when testifying to face the person he most wanted to engage—the arbitrator—leaning toward him and speaking in a focused, positive way. He won the case.

He still uses the techniques as a portfolio manager for an Atlanta asset-management firm. He never reaches across a table to shake hands when meeting new clients, but walks around it to greet them face-to-face and offer a relaxed, warm handshake, elbow at his side. He’s also mindful of his posture, keeping his shoulders square and making eye contact to convey confidence, he says. “These little nuances are important. They can help create a deeper bond.”

GAIN TRUST WITHOUT SAYING A WORD

To increase the chances that a stranger will see you as a potential ally:

  • Avoid hunching over to stare into your phone before meeting others.
  • Keep your elbow at your side when shaking hands, drawing the other person closer than arm’s length.
  • Lean forward and focus intently on the other person when he or she is speaking.
  • Stand erect with shoulders squared, balancing your weight evenly.
  • Smile in response to what others say or do, rather than grinning nonstop.
  • Remain mindful of what others are thinking and feeling.

Write to Sue Shellenbarger at sue.shellenbarger@wsj.com

WSJ.com | January 30, 2018 | Sue Shellenbarger – WSJ 

Your #Career : 7 Tricks to Instantly Appear Competent…People form Impressions of your Personality in a Matter of Seconds. It’s Not Necessarily Fair, But it’s Reality.

Especially in a professional setting, one thing you’ll want to immediately appear is competent: knowledgeable, skilled, and capable. Fortunately, there are ways to make yourself seem competent as soon as you meet an interviewer, coworker, client, or boss (and sometimes even as soon as they see your photograph).

free- women at meeting

 

Here are seven easy, sneaky strategies for appearing as competent as possible:

1. Speak quickly

If you’ve got something to say, say it fast.

In one study, Brigham Young University researchers had 28 university students listen to recordings of six people whose voices had been manipulated to sound slower or faster than normal.

The student volunteers rated the speakers most competent when their voices had been sped up and least competent when their voices had been slowed down.

Robin Marchant / Getty Images

 

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2. If you’re a woman, consider wearing makeup

Research suggests that wearing makeup can make women seem more competent.

In 2011, Nancy Etcoff at Harvard University led a study in which more than 250 adults looked at photographs of 25 women with different types of makeup. One-quarter of them wore no makeup; one quarter were made to look “natural” (some makeup); one quarter were made to look “professional” (a bit more makeup than the “natural” group); and one quarter were made look “glamorous” (the most makeup).

As it turns out, judges rated the “glamorous” women the most competent and the barefaced women the least competent.

3. Ask for advice…

You might fear that asking for help will make you look stupid.

But recent research from Harvard Business School suggests that asking for advice can instead make you seem more competent.

In one experiment, 170 university students worked on a series of computer tasks and were told they’d be matched with a partner who would complete the same tasks. (The partner was really a computer simulation.) When they’d finished the tasks, the “partner” either said, “I hope it went well” or “I hope it went well. Do you have any advice?”

As it turns out, students who’d been asked for advice rated their “partner” more competent than those who hadn’t been asked for advice.

The researchers explain that when you ask for advice, you’re validating the person’s intelligence and experience, so they feel good about you in turn.

4. …unless you’re a man in a leadership position

While soliciting advice can generally help you look more competent, a 2015 study found that asking for help might make male leaders in particular seem less competent.

Researchers recruited 65 business students to answer questions about their experiences in “leadership ventures,” in which they participated in challenges like mountaineering in Antarctica and climbing a volcano in Ecuador. Students took turns acting as the “leader of the day.”

The researchers asked students to reflect on the behavior of the leader of the day: Some students answered questions about how often the leader sought help, while others answered questions about how competent that same leader seemed.

As it turns out, male leaders who reportedly asked for help a lot were rated less competent than male leaders who asked less often.

5. Act a little cold

We tend to judge people on two main traits when we first meet them: warmth and competence. But is it possible to be rated highly on both?

A 2009 study led by Belgian and American psychologists suggests that groups of people who are warmer are also judged as less competent.

About 80 undergrads at an American university read descriptions of two different groups. Each group fell into one of four categories: high on competence and high on warmth; high on competence and low on warmth; low on competence and high on warmth; or low on competence and low on warmth.

The participants weren’t told that the groups were competent or warm — instead they received descriptions of each group that implied these traits.

Participants were then asked to rate each group on a number of traits. Results showed that high-competence groups were seen as more competent if they were also low on warmth.

6. Post a profile photo taken from a distance

If you’re choosing a Facebook or LinkedIn pic, consider selecting one where you’re standing a few feet from the camera.

In multiple experiments with hundreds of participants, conducted in 2012, researchers found that 18 white men were considered more competent, trustworthy, and attractive when they were photographed from about 4.5 feet away, as opposed to about 1.5 feet away.

Adam Nurkiewicz/Getty Images

7. Make your face look slightly wider

Research from New York University and the University of Connecticut published in 2015suggests that it’s not so easy to make yourself look more competent.

That’s because perceptions of competence — at least when it comes to physical ability — depend largely on your facial structure.

In the study, participants looked at male faces whose proportions had been digitally altered, so that some looked wider than others. They were asked to choose which man they thought would win a weightlifting competition. (Presumably, they were choosing based on physical ability, or competence.)

Sure enough, men with wider faces were considered more likely to win the weightlifting competition.

While you can’t physically alter your facial structure (without getting cosmetic surgery), you can probably work a little Photoshop magic to make your face look slightly wider than it really is.

Businessinsider.com |  Shana Lebowitz | Apr. 7, 2016,

#Strategy : 37 Words and Phrases That Immediately Increase Your Credibility…Want your Writing or Speech to be More Persuasive? These Words will Help.

If you think choosing precisely the right words doesn’t matter much, you’re wrong. A single word can have amazing power to change human behavior

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