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#YourCareer : Follow These 5 Steps to Make Your Next Difficult Conversation Easier. Great to Read & Share!

August 24, 2022/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

As a police sergeant, defensive tactics instructor, and member of the regional crisis negotiation team (outside of Boston, Massachusetts), Din Jenkins in no stranger to difficult conversations and high-stakes scenarios. Jenkins is also the CEO of his own company, Supply the Why, which focuses on conflict resolution and DEI training.

In recent years, Jenkins has found himself facilitating a number of difficult conversations between police and civilians regarding the appropriate use of force and other tactics. He joined Negotiate Anything to share his simple, five-step framework for successfully navigating conversations where the subject matter may be especially sensitive or difficult.

Start Small

According to Jenkins, some of our most difficult conversations are those that are emotionally charged and/or involve a highly polarizing topic. Because these conversations can’t be avoided, especially in today’s society, it’s important to approach them in a manner that will be safe for all involved.

Start with a small group; a one-on-one conversation is ideal. The goal is to avoid large groups where multiple people’s ideas align and one or two people feel outnumbered or ganged up on.

“We tend to gravitate towards people who share our ideologies and values,” Jenkins shared.

In emotionally-charged conversations, this can lead to a pack mentality and ultimately, an unproductive (and potentially highly confrontational) conversation.

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Be Realistic

It’s important to remember that complex situations cannot and will not be solved in one conversation. From reproductive rights to foreign affairs, there is no shortage of complex issues to discuss in today’s world.

To solve some of these problems and the associated tensions, difficult conversations are necessary. That said, realistic goals should be set from the start. One of the best ways to do this is to acknowledge that a follow-up conversation (or multiple) will likely need to be had. Then, allow the first conversation to be all about exchanging ideas and building trust.

“Once you have that foundation of trust, people feel safe to have more of these conversations,” Jenkins explained.

Stay Focused on One Topic

When we’re involved in highly emotional discussions, it can be hard to stay focused on one topic. Once our emotions become triggered, logic and rational thought sometimes go out the window.

“This is the one that really requires the greatest amount of internal discipline,” Jenkins said.

To keep the conversation on track, and avoid any potential attacks, slow down and try to stay on one topic at a time. Then, take the opportunity to let your conversation partner ask their questions and seek clarification.

Do Your Homework

In emotionally-charged conversations, especially where issues related to identity are being discussed, participants will often want to validate their argument with data.

With a long career in law enforcement, Din is familiar with this tactic but advises against it. Not only can statistics be manipulated to support varying sides of the same argument, but should those stats be incorrect or misrepresented, trust will likely be compromised.

Not only do you lose credibility but this can also cause the opposite side to retreat back into defensiveness.

While Jenkins generally advises against the use of data, he has advice on how to safely incorporate facts into the conversation.

“The best way: let everybody get their turn talking,” He explained. “You have to be patient and there has to be that trust that both people will get the opportunity to present.

Don’t Try to Win the Conversation

Finally, though it seems counterintuitive, Jenkins encourages people to enter the conversation with a collaborative mindset (where possible).

Because so many of these conversations involve highly-sensitive topics and passionate people, oftentimes the focus of the conversation becomes “winning” or proving that one perspective is best.

When dealing with complicated matters like politics and race, it’s unrealistic to expect to change somebody’s opinion in one conversation. Rather than viewing the discussion as an argument or debate, seek to exchange ideas and thought processes. Then plan to follow up at a later time.

Equally important is identifying your personal goal in the conversation. Oftentimes these discussions take place because two or more people will be interacting on a regular basis (at work or in social environments) or because one or more parties are seeking mutual understanding in a close, personal relationship.

If this is the case, mutual understanding and respect should certainly be one goal. That said, take time to discuss your hopes for the conversation and future relationship.

Forbes.com | August 23, 2022 | Kwame Christian

#Leadership : #ConflictManagement -The Simple 4-Step Process to Resolve #Conflicts at Work. #MustRead !

September 28, 2019/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

There are a few simple steps to every conflict resolution process, which can you can use for disputes between coworkers or between supervisors and employees.

These steps comprise the acronym LEAD—Listen, Empathize, Acknowledge (and Apologize), and Do something.

1. LISTEN

Every conflict resolution process begins with listening. It might sound simple, but it tends to be one of the more difficult things for many people to do. This is especially the case for leaders at work who prefer to move past problems quickly by avoiding confrontation or jumping straight into the solution.

You won’t craft an effective solution without actively listening to people. That means no presuppositions or assumptions, and being curious about what they may be experiencing—whether or not you agree with them.

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2. EMPATHIZE

Now it’s time to take what you heard and do your best to put yourself in their shoes. Remember, this does not mean you have to agree with their assessment. You do, however, need to understand how they feel about a situation. What might they be going through? What feelings are beneath the words they are saying? How does it feel to experience those emotions?

Regardless of how they saw the situation, it’s essential to acknowledge that they’re experiencing powerful emotions. You might not be able to relate to why they’re feeling that way, but you can probably relate to how sadness or anger or fear feel. So, do your best to focus on the underlying feelings rather than the story.

3. ACKNOWLEDGE (AND APOLOGIZE)

Next, we take empathy one step further and vocalize what we sense is going on for the individual. In other words, you are going to acknowledge their underlying feelings. Some people call this labeling, reflecting, or paraphrasing. The idea is to recognize and validate the other’s feelings about the particular situation. Again, this doesn’t mean you have to agree with the content of their story or their assessment of the situation. You’re just letting them know they have been heard and understood.

It may sound something like, “I can tell how upset you are.” Or “You’re angry, and I get it.” Or “Wow, that sounds seriously scary. You must have been afraid.” Acknowledging that you understand what they are feeling helps people drop their guards, and as a result, can become more open to working with you on a solution. Until someone feels heard and validated, it’s pretty difficult for them to move past the feeling and into a more solution-focused mindset.

Now, if you were part of the problem they are bringing up, then it may be necessary for you to apologize. Apologies go a long way in helping people feel validated. Again you can apologize and own your actions without necessarily agreeing with their assessment or story. Apologies and agreement can be mutually exclusive.

Make the apology about you—your actions—not about them. Never, for instance, apologize for how they feel or how they’re reacting. “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you saw it like that” are truly ways of discounting their feelings, negating any acknowledgment or validation you are aiming for. Instead, own your role. For example, “I’m sorry I said that without considering how it might make you feel” or “I apologize for doing that. I didn’t realize how it might come off.” Notice that you don’t have to say “you’re right” or “I agree.” Just own your role, what you did, and where you fell short. However, if you do agree with their assessment, then let them know. And then tell them what you’re going to do about it.

4. DO SOMETHING

Now, you can move into the solution. After all, you also want to make it clear that something will change, so this won’t happen again in the future. Let them know you’re not just there to hear them, but also to be their partner and ally in addressing the situation.

You may suggest a solution and ask if that would be sufficient. For instance, “I’m going to talk to the director and see if we can officially change that policy. Would that solve the problem?” Or “What if I make an announcement to the team to assure everyone understands the policy. Do you think that would be enough?” When you do this, you’re signaling that their feelings and perspectives matter. Allow space for them to make additional suggestions to your proposed solution.

If you’re not clear on an appropriate solution, you can ask what they would like. It may sound like: “What can I do to make this right?” Or “How can I help fix this?”

Resolving conflict starts with making people feel heard. Your employees must know that they have a voice, and feel safe about sharing their experiences. While you might not always agree with what they think, it is crucial to acknowledge their feelings and viewpoints. When they feel like they have some control over their situation, you’ll be surprised at just how open and cooperative they can be.

Author: Jeremy Pollack is the founder of Pollack Peacebuilding and an anthropologist and conflict-resolution consultant in Silicon Valley.

FastCompany.com | September 28, 2019

#Leadership : Secrets of the Most #Productive People -How To Deal With A #PassiveAggressive #Coworker …Resist the Urge to be Passive Aggressive Right Back. Try One of these Five Methods Instead.

May 24, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

We all know that person who uses sarcasm, snide remarks, and stalling tactics to vent their anger. It can seem childish and sometimes frustrating, but it can also be damaging to your career if the passive-aggressive person is a coworker whose actions are directed toward you.

Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon. That’s because passive-aggressive behavior is more comfortable to deliver than confrontational behavior, says Charmon Parker Williams, assistant professor of business psychology at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. “Saying what you really mean when you know there will be a disagreement is difficult for many, especially if there is some perceived benefit in sustaining a smooth relationship with a coworker or supervisor,” she says. “Passive-aggressive behavior can be viewed as a way to create more leverage when the level of power is unbalanced in a work situation.”

While venting may release anger in the moment, this type of communication in the workplace is counter-productive. Sarcasm can damage relationships and stalling can interrupt workflow. Instead of being passive aggressive in return, address the behavior by starting conversations or changing your mind-set. Here are five ways to handle a passive-aggressive coworker:

1. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND WHAT’S REALLY BEHIND IT

Organizational change often sparks passive-aggressive behaviors, says Parker Williams. “Employee resistance to changes, like the introduction of new systems or processes, new leadership, a reduction in force, or a new work location often results in passive-aggressive behaviors, especially when employee input was not considered or the change resulted in some degree of loss for the individual,” she says.

“While we often we see resistance as bad, you can also see it as something to honor and understand,” says Beth Linderbaum, managing consultant at Right Management, career and talent development consultants within ManpowerGroup. Introduce the change slowly, and ask the person to share their concerns and listen. “[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][Honoring] these concerns can build the foundation of trust,” she says.

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2. MODEL HEALTHY CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

While passive-aggressive behavior is an unhealthy way of handling conflict, you don’t have to follow suit. Instead, take a deep breath and think about how you can model healthy conflict management, says Linderbaum. “It may mean taking some time and space until cooler heads can prevail,” she says. “It is okay to say, ‘I hear you. Let me have some time to think about this before we discuss further.’ This can mean seeking to understand and looking for solutions where everyone can win.”

Or come to the conversation offering options, adds Parker Williams. “Don’t put them on the defensive,” she says. “Show empathy for their situation and focus on their needs.”

For example, if a coworker is procrastinating in getting you something you need, go to them and say, “I can see that you are busy, I would imagine that you don’t need an interruption,” suggests Parker Williams. “I value your input and really need to talk to you for about 10 minutes about a project that is due by noon. Can we talk now or at 9:30 this morning?”

3. SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS

When you come across a passive-aggressive coworker, evaluate their behavior through that lens, says Vicki Salemi, career expert for Monster. “It’s not a way to chalk it off, but rather about saying to yourself, ‘Okay, this person is passive aggressive, so I need to react and communicate differently than if this person wasn’t passive-aggressive,’” she says.

If your colleague makes a backhanded compliment, for example, try taking it in stride, says Salemi. “Here’s the thing: you need to work alongside this person and produce excellent work even though they may be getting on your nerves,” she says. “Try to get to know them as a person despite their comments, which may come across as snide, demeaning, and arrogant.”

4. SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Being on the receiving end of passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, and it’s important to think about how you’re being impacted by this person in the long term, says Linderbaum.

“If your efforts to understand and model healthy conflict behaviors don’t work you must look at how you are setting healthy boundaries for yourself and getting the support you need,” she says. “This may mean respectfully standing firm or finding a way to exit the relationship all together.”

You can also seek out a trusted person, such as your manager or HR director, in whom you can confide or ask for advice or perspective.

5. CALL THEM OUT

Finally, you may want to call them out on their game, says Salemi. “They might not even be aware of how you’re perceiving their comments,” she says. “Some people are more blunt in delivery than others.”

While you don’t want to stir the pot to the point of animosity, you also don’t have to bear the brunt of their constant barrage of ammo; that’s the makings of a toxic environment, says Salemi. “Push back in a professional manner, and let them know,” she says. “Keep your cool and don’t take it personally. If this person is passive-aggressive toward you, chances are he or she is operating the same way to others.”

You can also turn the tables and ask for clarification, adds Parker Williams. “Don’t get defensive,” she says. “Then confront the individual in private.”

FastCompany.com | BY STEPHANIE VOZZA | 4 MINUTE READ

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#Leadership : #CareerAdvice – How To Complain While Still Being Professional….So, What Exactly Should you Do when you Disagree with a #CompanyPolicy , or Need to Lodge a #FormalComplaint About your Annoying #CoWorker ?

May 24, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

At any job, issues are bound to come up. From your coworkers to your company policies, not everything can be perfect all the time. So, what exactly should you do when you disagree with a company policy, or need to lodge a formal complaint about your annoying co-worker?

There’s a huge difference between exhibiting radical candor and becoming the office complainer. In order to help employees strike the right balance, Glassdoor spoke with a few career experts to help you resolve your office woes the professional way.

Turn Complaints Into Requests

The first step to take when raising concerns in the work place, according to Amy Van Court, CPCC, PCC, is to talk to your direct supervisor. Despite any past experiences you’ve had bringing feedback to your manager, Van Court notes this is always the best way to start addressing your concerns.

“Start clean. Give your boss an opportunity to surprise you, to advocate for you if necessary,” says Van Court.

But, before actually going in to make your complaint, Van Court suggests taking a moment to consider what you want to happen.

“Turn every complaint you have into a request,” suggest Van Court. “Then you’re creating a path instead of staying stuck in the mud and expecting someone else to get you out.”

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Identify the Solution Ahead of Time

Before you walk into your manager’s office, it’s best to go in prepared with solutions. If you walk in with a long list of complaints and no proactive steps to take to solve them, you’ll end up sounding like a complainer.

“If you have concerns, take some time to get clear on what they are and why they upset you — journaling is great for this,” says Laura Weldy, leadership mentor and life coach at The Well Supported Woman. “Taking some time to prepare will allow you to be precise with your concerns and also help you to avoid saying anything too hastily.”

Laura notes she encourages clients who experience this issue to take this practice one step forward and actually identify what their ideal solution to the problem would be. Whether it’s changing the way you communicate with someone, or requesting a change in your schedule, coming to this meeting prepared will help your manager better understand how to help you.

“Your manager may not be able to make it happen, but they will never know what you’re hoping to see happen if you don’t tell them — plus it shows that you’re proactive about problem-solving,” says Weldy.

When to Take a Complaint Above Your Boss

If your manager can’t help with the situation, or nothing gets resolved after your complaint is made, what steps should you take next? Try taking the request to the person’s boss, or to your manager’s supervisor. Then, if the issues continue to be ignored or unresolved, you can go to human resources.

“I have heard of many examples of people feeling they are not treated justly by their boss (or their boss being unreasonable or speaking in nasty tones) and issues with a fellow employee — such as inappropriate behavior, irritation by sitting too close in a cubicle situation or gossip, etc.,” describes Anne Angerman, MSW at Career Matters. “If there are still issues, I would recommend consulting with an employment attorney and learning if the grievances are valid. Also, it depends what the issues are: Are they personal, such as age discrimination? Or is it an issue with a boss or another employee? Or treatment by another employee?”

Make an Agreement With Your Boss

If you want to ensure your complaint gets the attention you feel it deserves, the best way to keep this conversation professional and between you and your manager is to come to an agreement on how to best handle the situation.

“When you approach your boss with your request, ask him/her if they will agree to look at it and get back to you,” advises Van Court. “Agreements are far better than expectations because they represent a dialogue, where expectations are just something we place on someone whether they want it or not.”

Van Court notes that, if your boss agrees to look into your request, make sure you ask for a date that you can both agree to that the issue can be resolved by. But, if it’s a more serious issue, such as sexual harassment or illegal actions, you will want to have this resolved within a shorter time period, if not immediately.

Don’t Be Afraid to Issue a Complaint — You’ve Got This!

Though making a complaint at work can feel intimidating, approaching the issue in a professional manner will help you reach a resolution.

“I think that the biggest difference between a complaint and constructive feedback is that constructive feedback is solution-oriented,” says Weldy. “Everybody needs to vent now and then, but make sure that the person you’re complaining to is the right person — let small frustrations about scheduling, slightly annoying coworkers or not-so-fun tasks out during conversations with friends and family, not your boss. If you have a bigger problem to address, don’t be shy about addressing it with your manager — you’re both here to make your team better!”

Glassdoor.com | May 23, 2018 | Posted by Isabel Thottam

#Leadership : How To Survive In An Open Office Without Hating Your Coworkers…Working without Walls is Bound to Cause some Problems & Annoyances. Here’s How to Diffuse Disagreements.

May 4, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Open floor plans and shared office space are supposed to promote a sense of community and culture in your workplace, but they can also lead to tension and arguments. Many of us have encountered coworkers who don’t respect boundaries or listen to our requests. Instead of letting it fester or venting at the water cooler, hash out your differences, says Josselyne Herman-Saccio, communication expert for the training and development company Landmark.+

“Whenever people work together, upsets are inevitable,” she says. “When you understand where communication breaks down and how to heal disagreements as they happen, you create healthy relationships at work and protect productivity.”

PREVENT DISAGREEMENTS FROM HAPPENING

Whenever possible, prevent problems before they start, says Vicki Salemi, career expert for the career site Monster. “Remind yourself you’re in an open workspace, so your colleagues shouldn’t need to hear your personal phone calls, nor do they want a whiff of your reheated lunch, which may not smell pleasant,” she says.

Talk through potential pitfalls before they happen. “You can say something along the lines of, ‘I have an hourlong conference call twice a week with a challenging client. Would it bother you to hear me on the phone because usually it’s on speaker, so I can simultaneously work on a spreadsheet, or do you prefer that I hop into a conference room?’” says Salemi. “The more proactive and transparent you are, the more your colleagues are likely to appreciate working with you in a shared space, and they will also be more likely to initiate conversations on their end.”

Spending time to get to know coworkers can also go a long way, adds Crystal Barnett, senior human resource specialist for the HR solutions provider Insperity. “Some employees prefer quiet time at the start of their day to answer important emails or plan their day,” she says. “Taking their preferences into consideration and giving them some space in the morning may help create a mutually beneficial work environment.”

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IF THERE IS A DISAGREEMENT, ADDRESS IT
Unfortunately, disagreements are inevitable. “This is a normal occurrence that can be constructive if employees remain respectful and professional as they discuss opposing positions or opinions,” says Barnett. “Whenever possible, the affected employees should have a calm and friendly conversation to resolve their differences.”

Start by identifying why you’re upset. “What happened or didn’t happen?” asks Herman-Saccio. “Is it a mood or something specific and actionable?”

Once you’re clear, determine if you didn’t clearly communicate your expectations, and decide if you need to address it with someone else. Approach your colleague, walk through the situation, discuss what happened, and what could have been handled differently, suggests Salemi.

“Most importantly, talk about how to handle it going forward,” she says. “It’s important to always remain professional and try to see things from their perspective, and show them your perspective, as well. Whether or not they’re able to see from your point of view is out of your control.”

SKIP THE BLAME
When something goes wrong, avoid the temptation to assign blame. “Blame is there because we don’t want to be responsible,” says Herman-Saccio. “It’s easier to blame because you don’t have to do anything. Blame is a low-level, childlike function.”

Be responsible for your reaction and for communicating when your expectations are not met. Acknowledge any of your own actions that may have caused upset or disagreement, and ask how you can make things right, says Herman-Saccio.

“Try to use the word ‘you’ as little as possible,” she says.

DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
Miscommunications also occur when you take things personally. “When you’re a kid, the world revolves around you,” says Herman-Saccio. “We never really grow out of it. If somebody takes five hours to respond to your email, for example, you might think they’re avoiding you when it probably has nothing to do with you.”

Instead, practice not taking things personally. “Rather than living in your personal view and assuming things, find out by asking,” says Herman-Saccio. “You never know what someone else is going through internally, and their bad mood or state of upset is up to them to communicate.”

Give them the opportunity to share their perspective by asking these two questions: Is there something you need to say? Is there something that didn’t go as you had planned that is upsetting you? This gets dialogue started.

DON’T LET FEELINGS FESTER
Communication has the potential of creating conflict, so we often keep to ourselves, but it’s vital that you don’t avoid talking about it, says Herman-Saccio. “In any relationship, avoiding communication is one of biggest routes of deterioration,” she says. “Resentment and frustration starts to color our view. But anything can be worked out in communication.”

Keep lines of communication open. Be upfront with others instead of keeping feelings in your head. “If you’re not getting the results you want, share your expectations so they’re out there,” says Herman-Saccio. “It’s better to be open now than upset later.”

FastCompany.com | May 4, 2018 | BY STEPHANIE VOZZA 4 MINUTE READ

Your #Career : 14 Everyday Habits That Drain Your Energy…Here are 14 Bad Habits that are Easy to Justify in the Moment, But are Hurtful in the Long Term.

May 2, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Habits are the foundation of who we are as a person and as a professional. We are the product of our everyday habits, and we choose every day whether we want to improve ourselves, maintain excellence or contribute to our own discontent. But first we must be aware of bad habits, so we can take the necessary steps to change them.

Here are 14 bad habits that are easy to justify in the moment, but are hurtful in the long term:

1- Taking Things Personally

When you attribute every interaction a person has with you to how they feel about you, it’s exhausting and more often than not it’s not correct. Chances are, it’s not about you, and you’re not helping the situation by taking it personally. Nat taking things personally will save you a lot of stress and your workplace a lot of needless strain.

2- Holding On To The Past

The past is what it is, there isn’t utility to holding grudges or being angry. The only person you’re impacting by holding on to the past is you. So let things go, if not for them, then for you.

3- Always Checking Email & Social Media

If someone has to wait a couple of hours for an email, then they wait. The world won’t end, so relax.

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4- Constantly Worrying

Worrying does not solve the problem. If something is out of your hands, then it’s out of your hands and there is no point in worrying about it. If there is something you can do about it, then stop worrying and take action. Worrying is a waste of energy, focus on what you can control.

5- Negativity

If you are negative you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. You are not only draining your energy, you’re draining your colleagues’ energy, the workplace’s energy, your friends’ and family’s energy, etc. It is not productive, so try and focus on the positive.

6- Sleeping Too Much

Sleeping too much does not increase your energy, create energy reserves or make you more present when you are awake. It has the opposite impact, too much sleep makes you lethargic. That being said, make sure you’re getting enough sleep, seven to eight hours a night, as it is a major contributor to your health and energy.

7- Poor Diet

You know what I’m about to say, if you’re eating too much sugar, carbs and trans fat you’re just giving energy away to snacks and meals. Be thoughtful about what you eat, eat food that gives you energy, like greens, lean protein and healthy fats, not food that takes it away.

8- Complaining

By complaining you are not only projecting negativity, but you’re forcing the people around you to work in spite of it. No one wants to be around the person who complains about everything. Do not be a part of the problem, be a part of the solution, because people do not want to hear it. Do something productive instead.

10- Not Following Through

Promising a friend, a colleague or your boss something and not following through, you create more stress, anxiety and work for yourself on the back end, and it depletes your self-esteem. Do what you say you are going to do, when you say you will do it and you will have more energy and self-esteem.

11- Being A Passenger

Being a passenger in your own life and career makes you feel like you are tagging along on your own life. Seize control and get in the driver’s seat. No one is going to care more about your life and career than you will, so if you are unhappy, seize control and change your life.

12- Overthinking

Once you have thought things through and you make a decision, stand by it. Overthinking things is usually unproductive and just creates needless stress. Square with whatever risk you take with making a certain decision, do what you can to mitigate it, and then follow through. Overthinking doesn’t create a better outcome, it just drains your energy while you’re executing a tough decision, which isn’t good for you.

13- Gossiping And Participating In Drama

Discussing and creating drama does nothing to advance or career or build better relationships with your colleagues and friends. It is wasting energy on something that likely has nothing to do with you and is not any of your business. Don’t expend energy discussing other people, or trying to make their life more difficult by causing drama. Put that energy into your own self-care and self-improvement.

14- Unhealthy Relationships

In addition to not complaining, not gossiping and not causing drama, you should not surround yourself with people who do those things. They are toxic, and chances are, if they are talking about people behind their back, they are talking about you too. Surround yourself with people who are positive, and who dedicate their energy to their own excellence and lifting up those around them.

15- Constantly Trying To Please Others

You will never please everyone, so it’s best to just try and please yourself. Are you happy and proud of who you are? That’s all that matters, if some people do not like you when you’re at your best, that is not your issue, that is theirs.

Forbes.com | May 2, 2018 | Frances Bridges , CONTRIBUTOR

#Leadership : How To Turn #Conflict Into A #Communication Tool…Many People Try to Avoid #Conflicts at #Work . But if you Know the Right Way to Lodge an Objection, It can Actually Smooth the Way for Better Communication.

April 14, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

Last year, I was working with leaders who had recently joined an Israeli company. One of them said to me, “Anett, I used to work for a Midwestern company, and now I’m working for a company that yells and pounds the table in meetings–you can even hear it on the phone! What do I do?”

“Well, what happens after those meetings?” I asked. “They all go out for coffee!” she told me.

This is a texbook example of constructive conflict. Yes, it might have been emotionally charged and intense, but everyone respected each other enough to be friendly afterward. You might feel that it’s hard to see conflict as anything but a barrier to communication, but if you use it the right way, it can be an effective tool.

Here are some tips on how to do just that.

ATTACK THE IDEA, NOT THE PERSON

Intense conflicts can be civil. The key is not to let it get personal–which means making sure that you direct any criticism toward ideas, not people. Many of us know to avoid telling someone, “I don’t think you’ve done your research on this issue” or, “How could you possibly come to that conclusion?!” since these clearly sound like an attack on the person. But finding alternative phrasing isn’t always easy. When in doubt, delete any second-person (“your”/”your”) phrases from your vocabulary, and start with “I” phrase that zeroes in on the underlying concept. For example, “I struggle with that conclusion.” Now you can center the discussion around the conclusion itself–not the person who proposed it.

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BE ESPECIALLY CAREFUL WITH YOUR TONE

Sometimes what you say doesn’t matter as much as how you say it. And when you’re sharing a critique, you have to be especially mindful of your tone. My client’s colleagues might have participated in loud conversations–but those discussions weren’t overly emotional, sarcastic, or condescending. Tone isn’t about the volume of your voice; you can still be calm and collected while verbally putting someone down. As Fast Company’s Lydia Dishman previously reported, passive-aggression comes in many forms. For example, you might start off by using logic to point out the flaws in your coworker’s point–but if you end by saying something like, “You don’t mind, do you?” your coworker might read your tone as patronizing.

DON’T FLOUT CULTURAL NORMS

Some companies are more comfortable with conflict than others, and every company will have its own “rules” about what’s acceptable and what’s not. Those rules might not be written anywhere, but if you look at how your organization has dealt with conflict in the past, you can usually get a sense of how its culture operates. Some workplaces are comfortable with constructive conflict as long as it stays behind closed doors, and employees and senior leadership show a united front in public. Others embrace displaying their conflict openly. So stay attuned to corporate culture as well as societal norms. As my client found, the way his Midwestern colleagues operated was pretty different than the approach his Israeli associates took. Neither was necessarily “better” or “worse” than the other, but in order to have productive disagreements, he needed to adapt to those teams’ respective cultures.

FOCUS ON MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS (EVEN IF IT MEANS BITING YOUR TONGUE)

Remember, just because you disagree with someone’s idea, you still need to show that you value their input. This might require extra effort on your part–like being selective about when to voice your criticism. If you argue too frequently, others may find it hard to believe you’re doing so in good faith. If, on the other hand, you share your disagreement a little more strategically, you’re more likely to strengthen your relationships–and improve the odds that your criticism will actually register, without hurting feelings.

CALCULATE THE OPPORTUNITY COST

On the other hand, if you’re on the fence about whether to raise an objection, consider the possible downsides to not engaging in constructive conflict. What potential consequences will staying silent bring? Depending on your company culture, you may be viewed as lacking conviction in your ideas if you seem afraid to stand up for them. In that case, not speaking up could actually backfire. Not to mention, if you don’t voice your disagreement early on, you might be setting yourself up for a bigger explosion later by keeping your thoughts bottled up.

Needless to say, no two situations will be the same. If you’re unsure of how direct you should be–start by listening and observing. You can learn a lot just by paying attention to people’s body language and how they respond. When it comes to constructive conflict, context is everything. But whatever you do, just don’t let it get personal.

FastCompany.com| April 14, 2018 | Anett Grant

Your #Career : What To Do When A #Coworker Has It In For You…Whether They Just Don’t Like You or They’re Engaging in Sabotage, you Need to Deal with a Difficult CoWorker. Here’s How to Prepare for a Resolution.

April 11, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

A surprising number of people just don’t get along at the office. Surprised?

Recent research by The Creative Group found that nearly one-third of executives surveyed have had someone try to make them look bad on the job. This type of behavior can range from pointing out someone’s mistake to copying a coworker’s manager on an email criticizing a project the person worked on. In fact, April has actually been declared Workplace Conflict Awareness Month.

Sometimes, workplace relationships can be complex and confusing. Personality types combined with competitiveness and the desire to protect “territory,” in the professional sense of the word, can combine and create strange behavior. But what do you do when you encounter a coworker who just seems to have it in for you?

“It happens more often than you think,” says New York City-based executive coach Shefali Raina. And the negative behavior may range from simply being adversarial to full-on sabotage. To counter such a difficult coworker requires a combination of strategy and skill.

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FACT-CHECK THE SITUATION

The first step, Raina says, is to try to keep your emotions in check—and fact-check the situation. Having conflict with a coworker, especially if you feel you’re being treated unfairly, can be upsetting. But if you make assumptions about a situation or get angry over a miscommunication, you’re going to exacerbate the situation, she says.

“Ensure that your perception that the coworker dislikes you or is sabotaging you is factual and not imagined by you. Our brains have an incredible ability to create stories and connect the dots based on inadequate facts, so it is equally possible that the truth is something else and we are taking it too personally,” she says. Look at the facts objectively so you take the best next steps.

SHARE THEIR PERSPECTIVE

Sometimes, you can understand another person better if you put yourself in their shoes, says Diane Domeyer, executive director of Menlo Park, California-based The Creative Group, a division of Robert Half International. “Some professionals, especially those in competitive fields, may feel pressure to set themselves apart from their peers to get ahead. Putting others down or taking credit for a teammate’s work may make them think they’ll be seen in a better light,” she says.

Consider your teammate’s motivation with empathy. Are you a newcomer who might be a threat? Did you recently get a promotion the individual wanted? Think about why the coworker may be acting like an adversary.

DON’T RETALIATE

Getting into a tit-for-tat with your coworker isn’t going to do anyone any good. Avoid responding in the heat of the moment, Domeyer says. Wait until you are calm to start a discussion and always speak with an even, polite tone so the situation doesn’t escalate.

MAKE THE CALL

What happens next depends on where you land after you’ve gathered facts and objectively evaluated them. Domeyer says that TCG’s research found that 41% of respondents thought it was best to confront the individual directly, while 40% thought it was best to engage a supervisor.

What you should do really depends on whether you’re dealing with someone who dislikes or is threatened by you versus someone who is actively trying to undermine you or derail your career, Raina says. If the former, it may be a good idea to handle the situation on your own. If the latter—or if you’ve tried to confront the individual and it didn’t work or made the behavior worse—then you may need to engage your supervisor. However, if you can show that you tried to fix the issue on your own, that may show your boss that you made the effort to solve the problem first.

ENGAGE IN RESPECTFUL CONFRONTATION

If you’re dealing with garden-variety jealousy or pettiness, engaging in “respectful confrontation” is usually the way to go, says human resources consultant Cornelia Gamlem, president of The GEMS Group, Ltd. in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and coauthor of The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook. When you’re sure you’re calm enough to not let the situation get heated, choose a time when you can have a private conversation with the individual who seems to be causing the problem. Using non-threatening language, state your concern over the tension or behavior the person is exhibiting. Remain respectful and continue to frame the conversation in terms of what you need or is causing concern, she says.

“It’s kind of hard to keep punching back if somebody’s sitting there saying, ‘Okay, I hear what you’re saying, but let’s take the time to really talk about what’s at the root of the problem,’” she says. Sometimes, people just want to be heard. Such respectful confrontation can help you both get to the heart of what’s bothering you.

BRING IN REINFORCEMENTS

If the situation has the potential to be career damaging, document as much as you can and get help. “If there has been real sabotage, for example, you lost an opportunity or someone damaged your work or your reputation, confront it fearlessly and non-emotionally. In my experience, a coworker with a sabotage mind-set will not stop the sabotage if they feel they will get away with it,” Raina says. Bringing in a supervisor or HR person elevates the situation and can help you resolve it quicker.

Sometimes, you’ll need to accept that some people just won’t like you. But when a difference in personalities or styles becomes adversarial, career damaging, or prevents you from getting your work done, taking quick, decisive action is critical to mitigating potential damage.

FastCompany.com | April 11, 2018 | Gwen Moran

#Leadership : #WorkPlace Evolution- Your #TeamMembers Need To Disagree More. Here’s How To Help Them…You Do Want Everyone to Get on Board with Whatever Decision they Ultimately Reach Together. You just Don’t Want that to Happen Right Away.

March 5, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

The most effective teams have regular, intense debates. The ability to disagree without causing offense is a crucial precondition for good communication and problem-solving. Yet whenever we ask the managers we speak with what they’d prefer–a team that’s almost always harmonious or one that has conflicts and arguments–the vast majority vote for the latter.

Not only is harmony overrated, but it undermines innovative thinking, particularly the kind that diverse work cultures are supposed to generate. Rather than encourage your team members to come to agreements quickly, effective managers do the reverse: They help their teams disagree–productively.

GROUND RULES FOR HEALTHY DEBATE

Teammates want the opportunity to challenge each other. As long as discussions are respectful and everyone gets a chance to contribute equally, most people thrive on this kind of debate, finding it not only intellectually stimulating but also helpful for unearthing the best solutions.

What’s more, teams typically feel more bonded and more effective when they have challenging discussions regularly, trading a wide range of ideas and perspectives. That’s even true when those debates get a little heated. After all, this is the whole point of diversity and inclusion–it’s about bringing in people whose points of view differ in order to spark new ideas and ways of looking at things. But facilitating these conversations takes some ground rules, like these:

Treat each other with respect, and challenge the position, not the person.
Listen to one another carefully before responding, and ask for clarification if needed. Gather facts; don’t jump to conclusions.
Come to the debate ready to present facts and data, not suppositions.
Do not compete to “win.” Debates are a chance to find and test the best ideas and to learn, not to score points.
After the team makes a decision collaboratively, everyone needs to respect and support it, even if they have their own reservations.

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SIX QUESTIONS FOR FACILITATING SMART DEBATES

Mark Beck is the CEO of JELD-WEN, a global window and door manufacturer with 20,000 employees. He believes it’s leaders’ jobs to step in and protect people when things get heated–which they sometimes still do, even after laying down solid guidelines.

In some cases, Beck says, he might take the side of a person whose view is under assault, even if he personally doesn’t necessarily agree with it. This isn’t gamesmanship, it’s to show that the person is offering up a reasonable way of thinking that should be respected. “The attacker usually steps back a little and softens their tone when a leader does that,” he told us.

And, Beck adds, managers must take the lead in getting everyone to participate by posing the right questions. Here are six great questions we’ve heard effective team leaders like Beck throw out in debates:

That’s a good thought. Could you walk us through the process you went through to reach that conclusion?
What rules should we be breaking here?
What’s our biggest risk in this, and what’s our fallback position?’
What if we did nothing at all–what would happen then?
Are we missing or forgetting anything?
Aside from earning us a profit, how would this decision change lives and make the world a better place?

Beck said that smart questions can encourage active debate when a team has plateaued or is stuck in a safe zone. At times of such inertia, he’ll tell his direct reports, “The only way you can get your topic on the management-team agenda is to frame it out as a question, and collectively we have to come up with an answer.”

CHANGING THE QUESTION

These six questions aren’t the end-all-be-all, though. Sometimes you need to reframe a question you’ve already asked and revisit it from a new angle.

*The Best Team Wins: The New Science Of High Performance* by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton

When Beck arrived at JELD-WEN, the company’s focus was on getting ready to issue an initial public offering (IPO). He changed the question to, “How do we get ready to become a Fortune 500 company?” JELD-WEN did wind up issuing a very successful IPO in 2017, “but,” says Beck, “that’s been because we were focused on building a Fortune 500 company,” he said. “If we had just focused on the IPO and seen that as the finish line, I don’t think our story would have resonated with investors in the same way.”

And ironically enough, because his teams stick to respectful ground rules while they disagree, Beck estimates that they’re able to come to a consensus about 99% of the time. “If it’s done right, there’s usually no need for a leader to have to make a decision–it’s become obvious to everyone.”

And from there, Beck says, his job is actually pretty easy: “I might just say, ‘Let me summarize what I think we are all saying’.”

This article is adapted from The Best Team Wins: The New Science of High Performance by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton. Copyright © 2018 by Gostick & Elton, IP, LLC. Reprinted by permission of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

FastCompany.com | March 5, 2018 | BY ADRIAN GOSTICK AND CHESTER ELTON 4 MINUTE READ

#Life : The 25 Biggest Regrets In Life. What Are Yours?…….The Big Question Is, are You Going to #Change Anything this Afternoon or Tomorrow in Light of this List? Or are You Going to Go Back to your Busy Life?

March 2, 2018/in First Sun Blog/by First Sun Team

We are all busy. Life happens. There’s always something to distract us from getting around to certain things we know we should do.

Soccer practice. Work. Home renovations. Getting that next big promotion.

And with the explosion of always-on smartphones and tablets delivering a fire hose of urgent emails, not to mention Twitter and Facebook (FB), in recent years, things have only gotten busier.

In the backs of our minds, we know we’re neglecting some stuff we should do. But we never get around to it.

Then, something happens. A good friend or loved one – maybe close to us in age – drops dead unexpectedly. We begin to think about what our biggest regrets would be if we were suddenly sitting on our death bed.

Here is a list of the 25 biggest ones we’ll probably have.

The question is, are you going to change anything this afternoon or tomorrow in light of this list? Or are you going to go back to your busy life?

1. Working so much at the expense of family and friendships. How do you balance meeting that short-term deadline at work and sitting down for dinner with your family? It’s tough. There are always worries. “What will my boss and co-workers think? It’s not a big deal if I stay late this one time. I’ll make it up with the family this weekend.” But the “making up” never seems to happen. Days turn to months and then years and then decades.

2. Standing up to bullies in school and in life. Believe it or not, a lot of our biggest regrets in life have to do with things that happened to us in grade 4 or some other early age. We never seem to forget – or forgive ourselves – for not speaking up against the bullies. We were too scared. We wish we had been more confident. And by the way most of us have also met up with a bully in our work life. Maybe he was our boss. We remember that one time we wish we’d told him off – even if it cost us our job. We usually take some small solace in hearing that that bully later on made some unfortunate career stumble.

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3. Stayed in touch with some good friends from my childhood and youth. There’s usually one childhood or high school friend who we were best buddies with. Then, one of us moved away. We might have stayed in touch at first but then got busy. Sometimes, we thought to pick up the phone, but maybe we don’t have their number or email any more. We always wonder what it would be like to sit down with them again for a coffee.

4. Turned off my phone more/Left my phone at home. Many of us can’t get off our phone/email addiction. We sleep with it next to us. We carry it with us constantly. It’s right next to us in the shower, just in case we see a new email icon light up through the steamed up shower glass. We know constantly checking email and Twitter in the evenings and on weekends takes us away from quality time with family and friends. Yet, we don’t stop.

5. Breaking up with my true love/Getting dumped by them. Romance is a big area of regret for most of us. Maybe we dumped someone that we wish we hadn’t. Maybe they dumped us. Most play a never-ending game of “what might have been” for the rest of their lives. It is tough to simply be happy with the love that you’ve found and takes away from the special moments you have today, if you’re constantly thinking back to what you once had — which actually might not have been half as good as we think it was.

6. Worrying about what others thought about me so much. Most of us place way too much importance on what other people around us think about us. How will they judge us? In the moment, we think their opinions are crucial to our future success and happiness. On our death beds, none of that matters.

7. Not having enough confidence in myself. Related to the previous point, a big regret for most of us is questioning why we had such little confidence in ourselves. Why did we allow the concerns of others to weigh so heavy on us instead of trusting our own beliefs? Maybe we didn’t think we were worth having what we wanted. Maybe we just thought poorly of ourselves. Later on, we wish we could have been more self-confident.

8. Living the life that my parents wanted me to live instead of the one I wanted to. Related to that lack of confidence, a lot of us get sucked into living the life that we think a good son or daughter should live. Whether because we’re explicitly told or just because we unconsciously adopt it, we make key life choices – about where to go to school, what to study, and where to work — because we think it’s what will make our parents happy. Our happiness is derived through their happiness – or so we think. It’s only later – 1o or 20 years on – where we discover that friends around us are dying and we’re not really doing what we want to do. A panic can start to set in. Whose life am I living any way?

9. Applying for that “dream job” I always wanted. Maybe we didn’t apply for that job we always wanted to because of a child, or because our spouse didn’t want to move cities. It might not have been the perfect job for us, but we always regret not trying out for it. Do you think Katie Couric regrets giving the nightly news gig a shot? No way. Sometimes you swing and you miss, but you have no regrets later on.

If you have some regrets you’d like to share, please leave them below in the comments for all to read. I’ll call them all out.

10. Been happier more. Not taken life so seriously. Seems strange to say, but most of us don’t know how to have fun. We’re way too serious. We don’t find the humor in life. We don’t joke around. We don’t think we’re funny. So, we go through life very serious. We miss out on half (or maybe all) the fun in life that way. Do something a little silly today. Crack a joke with the bus driver – even if he ends up looking at you weird. Do a little dance. You’ll probably smile, on the inside if not the outside. Now keep doing that, day after day.

11. Gone on more trips with the family/friends. Most folks stay close to home. They don’t travel all that much. Yet, big trips with friends and family – to Disney World, to Paris, or even to the lake – are the stuff that memories are made of later in life. We’re all thrown in to some new unfamiliar situation together. We’ve got to figure it out as a group – and it’s fun, even when it rains. We really remember trips.

12. Letting my marriage break down. Back to romance now. More people will divorce than stay together. If you ask these folks, they’ll tell you that it was for the best. They couldn’t take it any more. And, of course, there are some marriages that shouldn’t go on and where divorce is the best for all parties involved. However, if you talk to many people privately, they’ll tell you they regret their marriage breaking up. It’s never just one thing that ends a marriage – even if that one thing is infidelity. There are usually lots of signs and problems leading up to that. The regrets most of us have is that we didn’t correct some or most of those “little things” along the way. We can’t control our spouse but we can control our actions and we know – deep down – we could have done more.

13. Taught my kids to do stuff more. Kids love their parents, but they love doing stuff with their parents even more. And it doesn’t have to be a vacation at the Four Seasons. It could be raking leaves, learning how to throw a football, or cleaning up a play room together. We learned all the little habits that we take for granted in our own behavior from mimicking our parents. If we’re not making the time to do stuff with our kids, we’re robbing them of the chance to mimic us.

14. Burying the hatchet with a family member or old friend. I know family members that haven’t talked to a brother or sister for 30 years. One’s in bad health and will probably die soon. But neither he nor the other brother will make an effort. They’ve both written each other off. And there’s blame on both sides – although I take one’s side more. But these were two guys that were inseparable as kids. They got washed in a bucket in their parents’ kitchen sink together. Now, neither one will make a move to improve things because they think they’ve tried and the other one is too stubborn. They think they’ve done all they can and washed their hands of the relationship. They’ll regret that when one of them is no longer around.

15. Trusting that voice in the back of my head more. Whether it’s as simple as taking a job we weren’t really thrilled about or as complex of being the victim of some crime, most of us have had the experience of a little voice in the back of our heads warning us that something was wrong here. A lot of times, we override that voice. We think that we know best. We do a matrix before taking that job and figure out a way to prove to ourselves that, analytically, this makes sense. Most of the time, we learn later that voice was dead right.

16. Not asking that girl/boy out. Nerves get the best of us – especially when we’re young. We can forgive ourselves that we didn’t screw up enough courage to ask that boy or girl out on a date or to the prom. But that doesn’t mean that we still won’t think about it decades later. Sometimes people regret seeing someone famous or well-known in real life and not going up to them and telling them how much they inspired them in our lives. It’s the same underlying fear. We always we could have just said what we really felt at that moment.

17. Getting involved with the wrong group of friends when I was younger. We do dumb stuff when we’re young. We’re impressionable. We make friends with the wrong crowd, except we don’t think there’s anything wrong with them. They’re our friends and maybe the only people we think that truly understand us. However, we can really get sidetracked by hooking up with this group. Sometimes it leads to drugs or serious crimes. We never start out thinking our choice of friends could lead us to such a difficult outcome.

18. Not getting that degree (high school or college). I’ve spoken with lots of folks who didn’t graduate with a high school or college degree. When I met them, they were already well-known at their job. And there are many examples I can think of where their jobs were very senior and they were very well-respected. However, if the education topic ever came up in private conversation, almost universally, you could tell they regretted not getting their degree. It made them insecure, almost like they worried they were going to be “found out.” Most of these folks will never go back to get it now. Whether they do or not, they’re great at what they do and don’t need to feel bad about not having that piece of paper.

19. Choosing the practical job over the one I really wanted. I was watching CNBC the other day and one finance guy was being asked for advice on what college kids should major in today. He said: “It sounds corny but they’ve got to do what they love.” He’s right. Of course, as a country, we need more engineers, scientists, and other “hard” science folks. But, at the end of the day, you’ve got to live your life, not the government’s. There are many who think they need to take a “consulting job” to build up their experience before settling in to a job they love. Although there are many roads that lead to Rome, you’re probably better off just starting immediately in the area that you love.

20. Spending more time with the kids. I had an old mentor who used to tell me, “when it comes to parenting, it’s not quality of time that’s important, it’s quantity of time.” When we get so busy at work, we comfort ourselves knowing that we’re going to stay late at the office again with the idea that we’ll make it up by taking our son to a ballgame on the weekend. As long as I spend some quality time with him, we think, it will all balance out. It probably won’t. There are lots of busy executives who take control of their schedules in order to either be at home for dinners more or be at those special school events with the kids. Kids do remember that.

21. Not taking care of my health when I had the chance. Everyone doesn’t think of their health – until there’s a problem. And at that point, we promise ourselves if we get better we’ll do a better job with our health. It shouldn’t take a major calamity to get us to prioritize our health and diet. Small habits every day make a big difference here over time.

22. Not having the courage to get up and talk at a funeral or important event. I remember at an old Dale Carnegie class I attended, they told us more people were afraid of public speaking than dying. They’d rather die than give a speech apparently. Yet, when you’re close to death, you’re probably going to wish you’d gotten over those fears on at least a few occasions, but especially at a loved one’s funeral or some important event like a wedding.

23. Not visiting a dying friend before he died. I had a buddy I went to high school with who died 3 years ago. He was in his late 30s with a great wife and 3 great boys. He had cancer for the last 3 years of his life. We’d talked off and on over that time. Two months before he died, he called me and asked if I could come by to visit. I was in the process of moving and too busy with my own family. I said I’d come soon. A month later, it was clear he had days to live. I rushed to the hospital and did get to visit at his bedside before he passed, but he was a different guy from the one I’d spoken to only a month earlier on the phone. He was just hanging on. We hadn’t been best friends and we hadn’t seen much of each other since high school, but I know I’ll always regret not going to visit him earlier when I’d had the chance. What I’d give to have one last regular chat with him.

24. Learning another language. A lot of us travel a lot. Fewer still have studied a second language. And this is a big regret down the road for many of us, even though it might seem like a small thing next to family, career, and romance. A lot of us wish we’d made the time to learn a new language to open up a whole new culture to us.

25. Being a better father or mother. There’s no bigger legacy than our children. Often, they turn out great. When our kids struggle though, there’s nothing bigger than makes us feel guilty. Yet, when they start showing signs of problems – with school, or friends, or otherwise — there’s often been many years that have passed in which we could have and probably should have been spending more time with them. No situation is ever lost though. There is always time to improve our relationships with our kids. But, it can’t wait another day, especially if it’s a relationship that’s been neglected for years.

We can all relate to most of these regrets. We can’t change the past, so this list isn’t meant for you to start a pity party.

The question is what are we going to do with the rest of our lives to ensure we don’t experience any of these regrets later on when we’re in the hospital preparing to say goodbye.

If you have some regrets you’d like to share, please leave them below in the comments for all to read. I’ll call them all out.

Forbes.com | October 12, 2012 | Eric Jackson , CONTRIBUTOR