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Why Honesty Might Not Always Be the Best Policy at Work. Your Thoughts?

The 24/7 news cycle, chants of “fake news,” and the spread of disinformation on social media had writer Judi Ketteler worried about the state of honesty in the world. Did it matter anymore? Then, came an interaction with a doctor she was interviewing for a project. He stated that his hospital did more of a particular procedure than any other in the region.

That exchange set Ketteler off on an exploration of honesty that she captures in her new book, Would I Lie To You? The Amazing Power of Being Honest in a World that Lies. In it, Ketteler shares some important insights about honestly, as well as distinctions between being honest and sharing the unvarnished truth under any circumstances, regardless of the consequences.

While honesty is a highly valued trait in leaders, it’s usually not just one set of facts delivered without regard for the context or consequences, Ketteler says. In fact, that approach can backfire. “I have friends that I rely on to be brutally honest with me and vice versa. And it works, right? But most of the time in the workplace, I’m going to guess that that’s not a very good approach,” she says.

Being aware of the situation, timing, and individual can help you decide the ground rules for your honest evaluation and feedback. Here are some things that you should think about before you give “brutally honest” feedback in the workplace.

TIME THE RESPONSE WELL

Let’s say an employee just gave a big presentation to the group and didn’t exactly nail it. You may have negative criticism to relay. However, now you have a decision to make: Is it best to share it immediately in front of the group or wait and share the feedback in private?

If you have a culture where sharing honest feedback in front of a room full of people is expected and encouraged, engaging in constructive criticism of the presentation may be the best way to be honest. However, if the individual is going to be humiliated after being criticized in front of a room full of peers or colleagues, you may ultimately undermine your relationship with them.

“We get very impatient with our honesty sometimes, instead of realizing there’s more than one chance and there can be a better way to facilitate something that isn’t going to demoralize,” Ketteler says.

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KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

Different people respond well to different types of feedback. A good manager communicates with team members to understand how they like to receive feedback and what helps them best. Some may prefer a short, just-the-facts evaluation while others may want to have longer conversations that include advice about how to improve. Both are honest, but delivering in the way that is most helpful for the employee is going to build a stronger relationship—and, likely, a more skilled employee.

“What happens in the workplace a lot of times is that people don’t really communicate very well with each other about what they need from each other,” she says. Understanding how to frame your feedback is important, too.

BE COMPASSIONATE—TO A POINT

Ketteler says that kindness and compassion can help take the sting out of criticism or negative exchanges. However, you also need to be mindful that being kind or preserving the other person’s feelings doesn’t get in the way of delivering the information the other person needs to hear.

In one study she cites in her book, groups of people evaluated poorly written essays. Some were told a sad story about the writer’s background. Those who felt compassion for the writer tended to inflate the quality of the essay. While that may have made them feel like they were protecting the writer from being hurt over negative criticism, the result was that the writer didn’t get the feedback necessary to make the essay better and improve their skills overall.

“You don’t want to be honest because you don’t want to cause any more harm, but really withholding something that would be helpful for them to know is doing them more harm,” she says.

CONSIDER THE OUTCOME YOU WANT

Sharing negative or hurtful feedback when there’s a reason to do so is one thing. But, before you do, consider the outcome you’re trying to achieve. Will it help the person become better at the job? Or does it not really matter?

As Shelley Osborne wrote in Fast Company in April 2019, “feedback focused solely on shortcomings isn’t effective. But I don’t think that the problem is feedback itself, but the way that managers frame and deliver it.”

Think about whether your employee will truly benefit from knowing everything they did wrong, Ketteler says. “That winds up demoralizing people far more than it helps,” she says.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gwen Moran writes about business, money and assorted other topics for leading publications and websites. She was named a Small Business Influencer Awards Top 100 Champion in 2015, 2014, and 2012 and is the co-author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Business Plans (Alpha, 2010), and several other books

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FastCompany.com | January 22, 2020

5 Healthy Ways To Deal With Criticism At Work.

We’ve all been there. Your boss shares negative feedback during your performance review that seems to come out of left field. Or a co-worker delivers a withering critique of a presentation that you worked on for months. While criticism at work can be difficult to deal with, it can also be a gift.

Without constructive feedback, it’s impossible to boost your performance and get better at your craft. Fortunately, the choice of how to handle negative input is yours. Here are five healthy ways to deal with criticism at work that will help take your career to the next level.

1.      Be open

The first step in benefiting from criticism at work is to be open to it. Actively listen to what is being said and take time to absorb the information. Don’t jump to the conclusion that the person delivering the critique is out to get you. Instead, assume that they are honest and have good intentions. Even if the feedback isn’t tactful, that doesn’t mean it’s meant to be hurtful. Restate the feedback to confirm you are both on the same page. This gives you more time to process it and ensure you understood it correctly. Acknowledge the input and thank them for providing it.

 

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2.      Consider your body language

Be aware of your body language. Make sure to uncross your arms and make eye contact. Slow your breathing to reduce your stress level and give your emotions a chance to settle down before you respond. Try to keep your body language open, and your shoulders relaxed. Dealing with criticism at work can be challenging, and open body language will make you feel less defensive.

3.      Ask clarifying questions

Once you both understand the feedback, ask clarifying questions. Do you agree with the input, or is it a complete surprise to you? Remember that this is a two-way conversation, and it is up to you to take control of the discussion.

Some possible questions could be:

  • What is the context?
  • Could you walk me through an example?
  • What do you suggest I do differently moving forward to address this?

4.      Schedule a follow-up

Planning a follow-up conversation will demonstrate to your boss that you listened, and you’re serious about improving your performance. Develop action steps to address the issue strategically and share them in this meeting. This is a great opportunity to develop additional rapport with your manager and make them feel like a partner in the process. It is also an excellent forum in which to offer a rational counterargument if there were elements of the feedback you disagreed with. By stating your case without anger or defensiveness, it will help them understand your point of view.

5.      Share the feedback

Find a mentor, colleague, or advisor and share the feedback with them. This approach is a good way to get a different perspective from someone whose opinion you trust. Ask them if they feel that the input is accurate. You can also use this opportunity to confirm that you’re not being too hard on yourself. The manufacturer reports that a single dose of Tramadol may reach 100 mg in case of severe pain. Depending on the intensity of the pain syndrome, the analgesic effect of Tramadol lasts 4-8 hours. In the postoperative period, a short-term use of Tramadol in exceeding doses is possible. The maximum daily dose of Tramadol should not exceed 400 mg, with the exception of some clinical cases described in www.morepowerfulnc.org/tr/ (for example, in the treatment of pain in cancer patients and in the postoperative period).

It’s healthy to nurture a culture of feedback in the workplace. If you’re especially sensitive to receiving criticism, you may want to determine why. It may just be a matter of adjusting your inner dialogue to combat a lack of self-confidence or perceived inadequacies. You should also consider the source of the comments. Is it someone whose opinion you respect? Are they interested in helping you develop, or merely putting you down? Either way, you’ll want to remain calm, focus on the facts, and move on. Criticism at work can be a blessing in disguise. Use it to help you improve, and it can be your best friend.

Author: Caroline Castrillon Careers

 

Forbes.com | January 19, 2020