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#Leadership:Tales About Men, Money & Mistakes From Self-Made Women…What is your Best Mistake? A Mistake that in the Moment seemed Catastrophic, but Turned out to be a Critical Piece of Finding your Success?

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This post is part of the “Self-Made Women” series featuring women who came from a world without power or wealth, but with the support of family, teachers and mentors, they  found their way to success.

 

 

Maria L. Chrin

What is your best mistake? A mistake that in the moment seemed catastrophic, but turned out to be a critical piece of finding your success? A mistake that you learned from and want to pass on the lessons to others?

That’s what Andrea Guendelman, Co Founder and CEO of BeVisible and I asked the self-made women we are featuring in this series. Each of these women is at the top of her industry. They definitely know that failure isn’t fatal. In fact, these women are living proof that mistakes are required for innovative success. Here are four of their life lessons — truths as opposed to sugarcoated narratives — bringing us lessons we all can learn from:

Sue Chen (44) Founder and CEO, NOVA Medical Products.  My best mistake was marrying what I term as “the biggest loser.” Not able to take my own advice given to other women, I married the absolute wrong guy despite all the glaring and present red flags… so no surprise. He pulled me to the bottom of my life, but in that pit of emotional abuse, pain and misery,

I discovered my personal Emotional Bucket, higher calling and ultimately self-love. Once you know the landscape of pain, you also can know the landscape of change, disruption and the unimaginable. Because knowing pain and having been to the “dark side” and come back, equips you to go head-to-head and conquer the most debilitating of emotions, and that is fear. It’s an incredible chemistry that happens in your emotional bucket when pain, suffering and misery are mixed in with passion and love… prevailing. Failing forward in my marriage brought me together with my Emotional Bucket which is always with me. I can reach in anytime and access its vast resource of experiences and emotions because it is mine and no one else’s.  My Emotional Bucket is the most powerful part of who I am… past, present and future.

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Brittney Castro (30), CFP, CRPC, AAMS. Founder and CEO,Financially Wise Women.  My biggest mistake was thinking I had to do it all alone. I know this sounds so cliche but when I first launched my company I didn’t ask for help often enough. After six months into launching my own company, I was exhausted. I was doing too much and not delegating enough to my team and support group. After a week of just feeling so completely burnt out and not capable of doing any work, I realized I needed to ask for help. Since that point, I’ve learned that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and that no one can do it alone.  I’ve also realized that letting people help you is a beautiful gift as it builds a community around your work and mission in life. Now I ask for help often and as early as possible and because I do so, I have so much more fun along the way.

Sarah Kunst (28) Venture Investor and Advisor and Contributing Editor, Marie Claire.  The last startup I did was a forward fail. I led product, growth and revenue at a retail startup and we launched with too little funding runway, underestimated the difficulty and expense of getting app users and did not start fundraising or looking for exits soon enough. We failed and went to zero, leaving me out of a job and our investors out of money. However, from the ashes I emerged with invaluable knowledge about early stage startups, the retail industry and a network of investors who landed me my next job as a venture capitalist. I never would have landed in venture capital or be able to effectively help companies if not for the mistakes I made in that failed startup.

Maria L. Chrin (50) Managing Partner, Circle Wealth Management, LLC.  My biggest mistake has been letting fear and self-doubt take over when making decisions. During my tenure at Goldman Sachs, I was given several opportunities to get on the “partner track” but chose not to. I convinced myself that leaving my wealth management practice, where I had control and unlimited upside, was not a good career move. Those were valid reasons but I was just afraid to trade a known path for an unknown one.

I focused on all that could go wrong and made a short-sighted decision. However, the experience taught me to focus on what is in my control instead of on what is not. Each of us controls a lot — our work ethic, quality of work, attitude, dedication, ability to collaborate and add value. If we can appreciate all of that, we can put fear aside. Recognizing this inspired me to launch Circle Wealth Management and helped us navigate the 2008 market downturn. We need to understand ourselves, our

goals, and how hard we are willing to work to achieve them. With that understanding and a healthy combination of self-confidence and paranoia, we can take on fear and succeed.

Self-Made Women Series Post #1:  From Murder To The Mayor’s Office: A Story Of Grit And Excellence

Self-Made Women Series Post #2: From Outsider To The C-Suite: A Story On How To ‘Get To The Yes’

Self-Made Women Series Post #3: A Self-Made Woman Gets Lucky In The Middle Seat

Denise Restauri is the author of Their Roaring Thirties: Brutally Honest Career Talk From Women Who Beat The Youth Trap now available for iBooks, Amazon, and Vook.

Forbes.com | April 9, 2015 | Denise Restauri