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Your #Career : 5 Things you Should Never Tell your #Boss (and What to Say Instead)…What you Say to your Boss can Impact your #CareerGrowth in the Company, So Choose your Words Wisely.

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Whether you’re lucky enough to have a great boss or have an uncomfortably rocky relationship with your manager, it pays to put some thought into your interactions. The language you use with your boss could end up dictating whether you get promoted, end up on the chopping block, or fall somewhere in between.

With that in mind, here are five phrases you should make an effort to avoid uttering to your boss–even if they seem appropriate on the spot.

1. “THAT’S NOT IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION”

We all have our share of grunt work to tackle on the job, whether we’re entry-level assistants or senior-level executives. So if you’re asked to do something that’s outside your purview, don’t be so quick to push back. Rather, be a good sport and comply, especially if it’s the first time you’re being put in that position.

Furthermore, if you’re going to push back, do so on the basis of being too busy, as opposed to being too good for the lowly or undesirable task your manager attempts to assign. Saying, “I’m afraid that doing this will cause me to miss my project deadline” sounds a lot better than, “That’s not what you hired me to do.”

Related: Yes, you can still get stuff done with a hands-off boss 

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2. “THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAID”

In the course of our jobs, we’re often put in situations where there’s some miscommunication. But if that happens, and your boss calls you out for not following instructions, don’t bite back by insisting you’re in the right and he or she is in the wrong. Unless you have documented proof that your boss said what you claim he or she did, keep quiet.

Even if you have that proof–say, your manager sent instructions in writing, and is now backtracking and trying to put the blame on you–be polite about it. Pull up that email and say something like, “I really thought I was following these instructions precisely. Please show me where I went wrong, and let’s see how we can fix things.” It’ll spare your boss the embarrassment of being wrong, thus sparing you some backlash later on.

3. “IT’S NOT MY FAULT”

We all make mistakes at work. So if your boss calls you out on one, own up to it rather than deflect the blame. Even if you aren’t at fault, there’s a politically correct way to make that clear. For example, say your manager asks you to provide an estimate for a project, and you use your colleague’s inaccurate data to arrive at your own set of incorrect numbers. It’s easy enough to claim that you’re not at fault and point a finger at your coworker instead. But rather than go that route, say, “I should’ve done further diligence before relying on Bob’s numbers. I’ll be happy to run those calculations again and get you a more spot-on estimate.” This shows a degree of maturity that your manager will no doubt appreciate.

Related: How to talk to your boss about your career goals 

4. “IT CAN’T BE DONE”

Maybe your boss wants you to turn around a major report in two hours, when you know it would normally take five to get that sort of task done. Tempting as it may be to throw your hands up in the air and state that it can’t be done, find a way to get it done to some degree. You might say, “I can turn around the first half of this report in time, and then prioritize the remainder first thing tomorrow.” It’s not a yes, but it’s also not a no, and that might be just enough to appease your manager.

5. “IT’S NOT FAIR”

Here’s a news flash: Life isn’t fair, and that applies to office life as well. So yes, maybe you’re being asked to work late for the second time this month when your colleague who sits next to you has yet to be asked, but for the love of job security, don’t mouth off to your boss about how unjust that situation is. You never know what weight your other colleagues are pulling, and what they’re sacrificing to get their jobs done. You also may not know what rewards your boss is secretly planning for your solid effort (more money, perhaps), so before you complain about things being unfair, take a step back and try to power through.

Related: Four times your boss doesn’t want your input (and how to get heard anyway) 

Now if it becomes obvious that your boss is blatantly treating you unfairly–say, you’re always working late while every other member of your team clocks out at 5 p.m. consistently–then that gives you a leg to stand on. But think long and hard before moaning about one-off requests. And if you do complain, do so diplomatically. Try, “With all due respect, it seems like I’ve been pulling some long nights at the office lately. Can I help bring some other folks up to speed on these issues to better divvy up the load?”

Saying the wrong thing to your boss can come back to haunt you. Avoid these career-zapping phrases, and you’ll be a happier employee for it in the long run.

 

FastCompany.com | June 13, 2018 | BY MAURIE BACKMAN—THE MOTLEY FOOL 4 MINUTE READ

 

Your #Career : Does Your Boss Have Favorites? Here’s What to Do…You Cannot Control the Actions of your Boss; You can Only Control your Reaction to Him or Her

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You see your co-worker hanging out in your boss’ office almost every day. They laugh, make inside jokes and seem more like longtime Buddies than employer and employee.

Anytime you try to join the camaraderie, they don’t exactly embrace your contributions to their little social circle—it’s more like they tolerate you. And coincidentally (or not), the high-profile projects always seem to go to this particular coworker.

Yep, your boss clearly has a favorite. These tips can help keep your career moving forward when that favorite isn’t you.

Get a reality check

Your supervisor’s favoritism may be frustrating, but try not to let it get to you. Complaining and whining about it won’t help you get ahead, says Billie Sucher, a career-transition management expert, so focus on maintaining your professionalism. One way to do that is to get honest with yourself—even if that means taking a slice of humble pie.

“No one wants to admit that a colleague might be more experienced or skilled [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][and thus enjoys more face-time with the boss], but in reality, this is frequently the case,” says Alexandra Levit, author of Blind Spots: The 10 Business Myths You Can’t Afford to Believe on Your New Path to Success. “If you really believe favoritism is in question, talk to a mentor outside the situation—in confidence—for an honest and fair assessment.”

Don’t limit this assessment to just the technical aspects of your job. “Take a good look at your performance and relationships at work,” says Hannah Morgan, career strategist and founder of CareerSherpa.net. “Are you easy to get along with? Do you have strong relationships with your colleagues? Do they trust you? All of these factors are equally as important as your qualifications to do the job.”

You can also choose to address the issue directly with your boss to get his or her feedback. Focus the conversation on how you can improve your performance, Sucher says. Rather than expressing anger or frustration about your place in the office hierarchy, ask what you can do to become a more valuable member of the team. Additionally, discuss your own short- and long-term goals with your boss, and lay out plans that will help you get where you want to be, Levit says.

Take the reins

While it would certainly be nice to be chummy with your supervisor, it’s not a prerequisite in order for you to excel at your job. Instead of concerning yourself with your boss’s feelings about you relative to your coworkers, concentrate your energy on what actually matters—the work you do.

“You cannot control the actions of your boss; you can only control your reaction to him or her,” says Sucher. “Focus on what is before you—your tasks, accountabilities and serving your customers and employer to the best of your ability.”

Make sure your boss knows you’re doing great work by regularly reporting on your accomplishments. “Don’t just go to your boss when there is a problem,” says Boni Candelario, a New York City-based career coach. “Set yourself apart and express your successes and how they relate to your department’s success.”

 

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Proactively pitch project ideas in areas your boss cares about. If you’re getting passed over for assignments you think you should have, provide your boss with reasons and facts to support why you should get the next one, Morgan says.

Know when to walk

After you make your case to your boss, his or her reaction should help you decide if it’s worth staying at this job or not, Morgan says. So let’s say you’ve spoken to your boss, discussed your aspirations for more challenging work and explained your personal goals, and your boss has emphatically agreed that you should be working on bigger, better projects. Terrific! Except the next time a plum account becomes available, you’re once again passed over, leaving you bored and unchallenged in your role.

Unfortunately, you may still find that your boss is dismissive toward your goals and uninterested in helping you move forward. That’s a flag.

“If you have done all that you can possibly do from a professional standpoint and are still uncomfortable in your environment, dust off your resume,” Sucher says. Take a first step in the right direction by setting up an account on Monster—so employers that are looking to hire can find you easily and so you can manage alerts on jobs you’re interested in.

You can find a manager who will have your interests in mind. “There will always be favorites,” says Sucher, “but a good leader knows and shows that all of her team members are her favorites.”

 

Entrepreneur.com | November 18, 2016 | Monster.com 

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#BestofFSCBlog : #YourCareer -Management is a Minefield-10 Things the Boss Wishes You Knew. Over 42K Reads!

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If you’re a part of the rank-and-file, it can be hard to get inside the head of management or your company’s leadership team. They seemingly make decisions merely to anger or stir up the lower-level employees, and the boss can be amazingly inept or unable to respond to employees’ concerns. They can devise and deploy stupid rules with little logic or reasoning, and some even seem like they’re out to get you if you rub them the right way.

Elegant business partners holding blank papers on green background

 

It can be hard to figure out what’s going on in the C-suite. But you have to realize that the boss is only human, and has a job to do. As difficult as it is to try and rationalize or figure out the logic behind some decisions, empathizing with the decision makers can be just as hard. Giving it a shot, though, may go a long way to explaining some of their flabbergasting decisions.

What kinds of things do managers wish employees better understood? Here are 10 things bosses wish employees could empathize with, to realize that being in charge doesn’t necessarily mean that every day is a picnic.

1. “I have a boss, too.”

You have a boss, and your boss has a boss. That means that the same issues or negative feelings you’re harboring toward your boss? Your boss is harboring many similar feelings toward their boss. Everyone’s a part of the chain, when it comes down to it. Even the CEO — they answer to shareholders.

 

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2. Honesty goes a long way

If you can get something done, great. If not, don’t pretend that you can — just tell your boss so they can figure out an alternative. If your manager or team leader is counting on you to take care of something, especially after you’ve assured them that you can do it, they’re banking on the fact that you will. Don’t blindside them at the last minute by coming up short. Just be up front about your ability to handle a given task.

Angle view of a business team discussing the future of their company on the foreground

3. Scheduling is very difficult

In certain businesses and workplaces, scheduling employees is a nightmare. If you’ve worked in a restaurant, for example, you have an idea of the juggling act that building a schedule can be. Many employees have school, families, or other jobs they need to attend to, and asking for a day off at the last minute isn’t as easy as slotting in another name.

4. 9:00 does not mean 9:10

Some jobs allow for some leeway in when you come and go to work. Others do not. If your boss needs you at work on time, that means you need to be there on time — not 10 or 15 minutes late. You may send the message that you’re not coming in at all, and send the rest of the staff scrambling to cover your station. Everybody’s late from time to time, but if you make it a chronic habit? You’re only giving your boss ulcers.

5. If you’re quitting, let them know

People quit jobs all the time. But there’s a reason the “two week” rule exists — it allows both parties, the quitter and and the employer, to have some time to cover their bases. Yes, companies lay people off with little or no warning all the time, but if you have a good relationship with your employer, or don’t want to burn any bridges on the way out, give a heads up so they can replace you.

6. They don’t want to be there on Saturday or Thanksgiving either

Yes, working nights, weekends, and holidays sucks. Nobody wants to be there, not even management. But the world doesn’t stop just because it’s your favorite holiday, or because it’s Sunday. Somebody has to work, and somebody has to take the reins. If you’re complaining about having to work Black Friday, your complaints are probably falling upon deaf ears; your boss is probably just as stoked to be there as you are.

7. The boss isn’t out to get you

Management doesn’t want you to fail. They’re not typically setting traps or land mines for you to walk into, to give them a reason to dock your pay or write you up. They want you to do your job and be good at it. If you’re doing well, it makes your manager look better. Sure, some employee-employer relationships can fray, but it’s rare that someone in charge is gunning for you. Paranoia isn’t going to help.

Fear

8. They’re your boss, not your friend

Ever hear about awful parents who try too hard to be “cool,” and let their kids run amok? It’s similar in the workplace. Your boss is there to manage you, not be your bud. While you may have a good relationship with your manager — which is great — you don’t need to tell them how trashed you got last night or invite them to smoke a joint with you during a break. Respect the relationship, and professional boundaries.

9. Management knows you’re screwing around all day

Do you really think nobody realizes that you spend half of your day surfing Facebook, Snapchat, and Reddit? They know — so you don’t have to scramble to cover your tracks every time you’re on your phone and somebody walks up behind you. Of course, if you’re on the sales floor or in a customer service position, then this can be a real problem. But managers know that you’re not always being productive.

10. Saying “I don’t know” is OK

Sometimes, you’re not going to know the answers. Not sure how to work a machine or piece of equipment? Ask for a run-through. Does a customer have a complicated issue or question? Don’t B.S. them, and give them bad information. Even if it’s a little uncomfortable, ask for help from a higher-up, and treat it as a learning experience.

Follow Sam on Facebook and Twitter @SliceOfGinger

 

CheatSheet.com | September 30, 2016 | Sam Becker 

#Leadership : 5 Things That Scare the Hell Out of Your Manager…You’re Expected to Produce Results and On Top of All That, Don’t Forget you Need to Make Sure your Employees are Happy, Productive, and Making Your Boss Happy.

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Being in charge can be scary. When you’re thrust into the position of manager, boss, CEO, etc., you’re suddenly not just punching the clock when you come into work — you’re expected to produce results and keep the whole operation from imploding. Leadership positions, though typically coveted for their prestige and higher pay, can be extremely stressful for those reasons. To put it simply, being the boss isn’t always the cakewalk you may have assumed it is.

Free- Women walking on Narrow Bridge

But there are some very specific fears that your manager or boss has related to their job. When you’re at the apex of an organization — or even a specific part of an organization — there are threats coming at you from all sides. You may have enemies among the ranks, sniping for your job. Something unexpected can happen, making you appear totally incompetent. Or, you might even sabotage yourself by believing you’re not good enough for the role.

 

On top of all that, don’t forget you need to make sure your employees are happy, productive, and making your boss happy.

But for the things that managers and those in leadership positions fear the most, we can look to a 2014 survey of 116 executives by Roger Jones, CEO of London-based consulting company Vantage Hill Partners. His findings, which he wrote about for the Harvard Business Review, revealed a handful of specific, key fears that many leaders had in common. Here are those five fears.

1. “Imposter syndrome”

If you’re not familiar with Imposter Syndrome, it refers to the feeling or idea that you’re not actually qualified for the job you have, or possess any kind of authority. You feel like an imposter — a fraud. And this is a big problem for many executives, according to Jones’s survey. In fact, it was the biggest and most prevalent fear among his respondents. “This fear diminishes their confidence and undermines relationships with other executives,” Jones wrote.

 

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2. Underachieving

When you’re in charge, you have more skin in the game. No longer can you show up to work, clock in, screw around for hours, and then feign effort to skate by. No, as a member of management and the leadership team, you’re now more invested in the organization, and that means seeing it grow and prosper. The biggest fear related to that? Coming up short, or underachieving. Many people who make it into management are overachievers to begin with, and to get a big promotion and then fail? It can be crushing.

3. Mutiny

Every workplace has its internal politics, and when you’re at the head of the table, many other people are going to be gunning for you. They might want to take your place, or simply see you fail. Perhaps it’s a jealousy issue, or some sort of personal vendetta. Either way, there’s going to be uneasiness among the ranks, and if it isn’t quickly snuffed out, you can end up with a mutiny on your hands. That is a real fear for many managers and bosses.

4. Looking stupid

Shame — or the avoidance of shame — is one of the primary factors that motivates our behavior. Nobody wants to look stupid or feel embarrassed, and we’ll do almost anything we can to avoid it. You probably lay awake at night, replaying some humiliating thing that happened to you as a child. Well, imagine something similar happening to you as the head of a workplace, or as the guy or gal in charge. You’ll never live it down.

Everyone’s afraid of looking stupid or incompetent.

5. Looking weak

Looking stupid in front of your employees is scary. But so is looking or feeling weak and powerless. Have you ever served under a boss or manager who wasn’t respected? You could walk all over them, and so could everyone else. That can be emasculating, deflating, and make you feel toothless — which makes it a very real, and very frightening fear for the people in charge.

Follow Sam on Facebook and Twitter @SliceOfGinger

CheatSheet.com | August 2, 2016 | Sam Becker

#Leadership : 14 Signs your Employees Secretly Hate You…If you’ve Been Labeled a “Bad Boss,” you’ll Probably Be the Last to Know.

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“Your staff will be very adept at making it a well-kept secret because they will do everything to keep their job security intact,” says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job.”

Free- Bench on a Lonely Beach

“But if you decide to boost your emotional-intelligence radar and look for subtle signs that your team may be unhappy, you’ll uncover a wealth of actionable feedback.”

Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of “The Humor Advantage,” agrees that it’s important to know how your employees feel about you. When they don’t like you, there are consequences, he says. For instance, they’ll be less happy and more stressed (which affects things like their productivity and creativity); they may quit on you (which will cost you and your company time and money); they may give you bad reviews or complain to HR (which puts your job in jeopardy); and you’ll have trouble earning their respect, being viewed as credible, and getting them to listen to your opinions.

“Your goal as a manager is not to be liked by everyone; if it is, you won’t be making the best decisions for the company,” says Taylor. “But if you’re an insensitive manager, no amount of intelligence or business skills will ever take you far in your own career advancement. You will always need a strong team and following to thrive in your career.”

So to avoid having to deal with those consequences, among many others, you’ll need to recognize the signs and make changes to your behavior, attitude, and approach to leading.

Here are 14 subtle signs your employees may secretly hate you:

 

You’ve got a (bad) gut feeling.

You've got a (bad) gut feeling.

Soon/flickr

“The very first sign that things are going awry in your relationships with employees is a general gnawing feeling that you can’t put your finger on,” Taylor says. “No manager can be liked by everyone, but there are far too many bosses who are not respected by enough of their staff.” If you’ve got that gut feeling something is off, be aware and start looking for other signs.

 

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They can’t maintain eye contact with you (but can with everyone else).

They can't maintain eye contact with you (but can with everyone else).

Bradley Gordon

It’s difficult for an employee who is angry to look you straight in the eye, says Taylor. “They’re afraid that you may be able to detect hostility, so the path of least resistance is for them to look away or avoid being around you wherever possible.”

 

They avoid you like the proverbial plague.

They avoid you like the proverbial plague.

Andy Morales/flickr

If you notice they take the stairs every time you’re waiting for the elevator, or they manage their schedules in such a way that they rarely overlap with your primary work hours, that’s a good sign they’re avoiding you. And employees typically only avoid people who intimidate them or who they don’t like, says Kerr.

 

They call in sick a lot, especially due to stress-related reasons.

They call in sick a lot, especially due to stress-related reasons.

Flickr/Laura Taylor

Having an employee who goes on “stress leave” or constantly calls in sick could be a sign that they are not comfortable working under your direction, Kerr explains.

“Your employee(s) may not be showing up at work as often, may come to work late, leave early, or are just seemingly never at their desks, because of long, needed breaks,” adds Taylor. “Leaving the scene can take many forms — and it’s a common way that your staff copes with stress. A bad boss-employee relationship is a leading cause of stress and illness,” she says.

 

They don’t smile around you.

They don't smile around you.

Flickr / Leo Hidalgo

We’re not talking about the occasional bad day or mood swing. If one or more of your employees seem to look miserable every time they’re around you — but you’ve seen them smiling while talking to others in the office — something isn’t right.

“It’s difficult for any employee to put on a happy face when they’re talking to someone they [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][dislike],” says Taylor.

 

They stop laughing and bantering the moment you walk into the room.

They stop laughing and bantering the moment you walk into the room.

Daniel Goodman / Business Insider

Not smiling when they’re around you is one thing — but clamming up when you step into the office kitchen or conference room is a pretty strong sign that your employees reallydon’t like you and don’t consider you part of their inner circle, Kerr says.

 

They seem less passionate about their work than they used to be.

They seem less passionate about their work than they used to be.

Flickr/sunshinecity

You may not be the reason for this (so many things affect one’s level of motivation or enthusiasm at work) — but you could be.

“If their level of enthusiasm has waned, and you’re not seeing your staff jump at the opportunity to help out on new or existing projects anymore, it may be a sign you’re disliked,” says Taylor.

 

They never invite you to social events.

They never invite you to social events.

Flickr / beyrouth

If your employees don’t include you in any after-work social events or happy hours, it very well may be because they don’t want to spend any more time with you than they absolutely have to.

 

They communicate with you via email, when they talk to others in person.

They communicate with you via email, when they talk to others in person.

Shutterstock

“Your unhappy employees may change the way they communicate with you, such as through email, voicemail, or IM, instead of in-person communications,” Taylor explains. “You may detect less personal contact, so that there is less of an opportunity for potential confrontation.”

 

They’re short with you.

They're short with you.

Vancouver Film School/flickr

If you ask, “How’s it going?” and they always respond with “Ok” or “Fine” — or if their emails to always get straight to the point, and never begin with a friendly “Hello” or “Good afternoon,” this may be a sign they’re not a huge fan of you.

“If your employees are beginning to sound like your moody teenager, then that’s a pretty big red flag,” says Kerr.

 

They give off negative body language.

They give off negative body language.

YouTube

Whether it’s a subtle eye roll or constantly assuming a closed-off position with arms folded across their chest, your employees’ body language will often reveal their true feelings towards you, Kerr says.  

 

Their door is always closed.

Their door is always closed.

A National Acrobat/flickr

“Many employees don’t have the luxury of their own office these days, but if they do, and their door appears closed more often than not, they may be commiserating with friends, family, or even other colleagues,” Taylor says. “They may be seeking advice, or worse, checking out greener pastures.”

 

They constantly disagree with you.

They constantly disagree with you.

Leonid Mamchenkov/flickr

“Not all employees shy away from confronting the personality clashes as they pertain to business, thankfully,” says Taylor. “You may find that your staff seems increasingly more difficult and disagreeable, whereas before you were never questioned. This may be because before, they tolerated a more dictatorial management style — but now they’ve realized that they have nothing to lose by challenging you, in the hopes that they will see changes.”

 

They resign for no good reason.

They resign for no good reason.

YouTube/Marina Shifrin

Scads of surveys indicate that “the boss” still ranks as a top reason for employees leaving a job. If they don’t provide a good excuse or reason for leaving, there’s a good chance it’s you.

 

Businessinsider.com | September 2, 2016 |  

 

 

 

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Your #Career : Six Things You Don’t Owe Your Boss..Success & Fulfillment often Depend Upon your Ability to Set Good Boundaries. Once you can Do This, Everything Else Just Falls into Place. What Do you Do to Set Boundaries Around your Work?

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The typical workday is long enough as it is, and technology is making it even longer. When you do finally get home from a full day at the office, your mobile phone rings off the hook, and emails drop into your inbox from people who expect immediate responses.

Free- Big Photo Lense

While most people claim to disconnect as soon as they get home, recent research says otherwise. A study conducted by the American Psychological Association found that more than 50% of us check work email before and after work hours, throughout the weekend, and even when we’re sick. Even worse, 44% of us check work email while on vacation.

A Northern Illinois University study that came out this summer shows just how bad this level of connection really is. The study found that the expectation that people need to respond to emails during off-work hours produces a prolonged stress response, which the researchers named telepressure. Telepressure ensures that you are never able to relax and truly disengage from work. This prolonged state of stress is terrible for your health. Besides increasing your risk of heart disease, depression, and obesity, stress decreases your cognitive performance.

We need to establish boundaries between our personal and professional lives. When we don’t, our work, our health, and our personal lives suffer.

Balance between Family and WorkResponding to emails during off-work hours isn’t the only area in which you need to set boundaries. You need to make the critical distinction between what belongs to your employer and what belongs to you and you only. The items that follow are yours. If you don’t set boundaries around them and learn to say no to your boss, you’re giving away something with immeasurable value.

1. Your health. It’s difficult to know when to set boundaries around your health at work because the decline is so gradual. Allowing stress to build up, losing sleep, and sitting all day without exercising all add up. Before you know it, you’re rubbing your aching back with one hand and your zombie-like eyes with the other, and you’re looking down at your newly-acquired belly. The key here is to not let things sneak up on you, and the way you do that is by keeping a consistent routine. Think about what you need to do to keep yourself healthy (taking walks during lunch, not working weekends, taking your vacations as scheduled, etc.), make a plan, and stick to it no matter what. If you don’t, you’re allowing your work to overstep its bounds.

 

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2. Your family. It’s easy to let your family suffer for your work. Many of us do this because we see our jobs as a means of maintaining our families. We have thoughts such as ”I need to make more money so that my kids can go to college debt-free.” Though these thoughts are well-intentioned, they can burden your family with the biggest debt of all—a lack of quality time with you. When you’re on your deathbed, you won’t remember how much money you made for your spouse and kids. You’ll remember the memories you created with them.

3. Your sanity. While we all have our own levels of this to begin with, you don’t owe a shred of it to your employer. A job that takes even a small portion of your sanity is taking more than it’s entitled to. Your sanity is something that’s difficult for your boss to keep track of. You have to monitor it on your own and set good limits to keep yourself healthy. Often, it’s your life outside of work that keeps you sane. When you’ve already put in a good day’s (or week’s) work and your boss wants more, the most productive thing you can do is say no, then go and enjoy your friends and hobbies. This way, you return to work refreshed and de-stressed. You certainly can work extra hours if you want to, but it’s important to be able to say no to your boss when you need time away from work.

4. Your identity. While your work is an important part of your identity, it’s dangerous to allow your work to become your whole identity. You know you’ve allowed this to go too far when you reflect on what’s important to you and work is all that (or most of what) comes to mind. Having an identity outside of work is about more than just having fun. It also helps you relieve stress, grow as a person, and avoid burnout.

5. Your contacts. While you do owe your employer your best effort, you certainly don’t owe him or her the contacts you’ve developed over the course of your career. Your contacts are a product of your hard work and effort, and while you might share them with your company, they belong to you.

6. Your integrity. Sacrificing your integrity causes you to experience massive amounts of stress. Once you realize that your actions and beliefs are no longer in alignment, it’s time to make it clear to your employer that you’re not willing to do things his or her way. If that’s a problem for your boss, it might be time to part ways.

Bringing It All Together

Success and fulfillment often depend upon your ability to set good boundaries. Once you can do this, everything else just falls into place.

 What do you do to set boundaries around your work? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Travis co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-foundedTalentSmart, the world’s #1 provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving 75% of Fortune 500 Companies.

 

Forbes.com |  February 2, 2016 | Travis Bradberry