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#Leadership : 14 Signs your Employees Secretly Hate You…If you’ve Been Labeled a “Bad Boss,” you’ll Probably Be the Last to Know.

“Your staff will be very adept at making it a well-kept secret because they will do everything to keep their job security intact,” says Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job.

Free- Bench on a Lonely Beach

“But if you decide to boost your emotional-intelligence radar and look for subtle signs that your team may be unhappy, you’ll uncover a wealth of actionable feedback.”

Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of “The Humor Advantage,” agrees that it’s important to know how your employees feel about you. When they don’t like you, there are consequences, he says. For instance, they’ll be less happy and more stressed (which affects things like their productivity and creativity); they may quit on you (which will cost you and your company time and money); they may give you bad reviews or complain to HR (which puts your job in jeopardy); and you’ll have trouble earning their respect, being viewed as credible, and getting them to listen to your opinions.

“Your goal as a manager is not to be liked by everyone; if it is, you won’t be making the best decisions for the company,” says Taylor. “But if you’re an insensitive manager, no amount of intelligence or business skills will ever take you far in your own career advancement. You will always need a strong team and following to thrive in your career.”

So to avoid having to deal with those consequences, among many others, you’ll need to recognize the signs and make changes to your behavior, attitude, and approach to leading.

Here are 14 subtle signs your employees may secretly hate you:

 

You’ve got a (bad) gut feeling.

You've got a (bad) gut feeling.

Soon/flickr

“The very first sign that things are going awry in your relationships with employees is a general gnawing feeling that you can’t put your finger on,” Taylor says. “No manager can be liked by everyone, but there are far too many bosses who are not respected by enough of their staff.” If you’ve got that gut feeling something is off, be aware and start looking for other signs.

 

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They can’t maintain eye contact with you (but can with everyone else).

They can't maintain eye contact with you (but can with everyone else).

Bradley Gordon

It’s difficult for an employee who is angry to look you straight in the eye, says Taylor. “They’re afraid that you may be able to detect hostility, so the path of least resistance is for them to look away or avoid being around you wherever possible.”

 

They avoid you like the proverbial plague.

They avoid you like the proverbial plague.

Andy Morales/flickr

If you notice they take the stairs every time you’re waiting for the elevator, or they manage their schedules in such a way that they rarely overlap with your primary work hours, that’s a good sign they’re avoiding you. And employees typically only avoid people who intimidate them or who they don’t like, says Kerr.

 

They call in sick a lot, especially due to stress-related reasons.

They call in sick a lot, especially due to stress-related reasons.

Flickr/Laura Taylor

Having an employee who goes on “stress leave” or constantly calls in sick could be a sign that they are not comfortable working under your direction, Kerr explains.

“Your employee(s) may not be showing up at work as often, may come to work late, leave early, or are just seemingly never at their desks, because of long, needed breaks,” adds Taylor. “Leaving the scene can take many forms — and it’s a common way that your staff copes with stress. A bad boss-employee relationship is a leading cause of stress and illness,” she says.

 

They don’t smile around you.

They don't smile around you.

Flickr / Leo Hidalgo

We’re not talking about the occasional bad day or mood swing. If one or more of your employees seem to look miserable every time they’re around you — but you’ve seen them smiling while talking to others in the office — something isn’t right.

“It’s difficult for any employee to put on a happy face when they’re talking to someone they [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][dislike],” says Taylor.

 

They stop laughing and bantering the moment you walk into the room.

They stop laughing and bantering the moment you walk into the room.

Daniel Goodman / Business Insider

Not smiling when they’re around you is one thing — but clamming up when you step into the office kitchen or conference room is a pretty strong sign that your employees reallydon’t like you and don’t consider you part of their inner circle, Kerr says.

 

They seem less passionate about their work than they used to be.

They seem less passionate about their work than they used to be.

Flickr/sunshinecity

You may not be the reason for this (so many things affect one’s level of motivation or enthusiasm at work) — but you could be.

“If their level of enthusiasm has waned, and you’re not seeing your staff jump at the opportunity to help out on new or existing projects anymore, it may be a sign you’re disliked,” says Taylor.

 

They never invite you to social events.

They never invite you to social events.

Flickr / beyrouth

If your employees don’t include you in any after-work social events or happy hours, it very well may be because they don’t want to spend any more time with you than they absolutely have to.

 

They communicate with you via email, when they talk to others in person.

They communicate with you via email, when they talk to others in person.

Shutterstock

“Your unhappy employees may change the way they communicate with you, such as through email, voicemail, or IM, instead of in-person communications,” Taylor explains. “You may detect less personal contact, so that there is less of an opportunity for potential confrontation.”

 

They’re short with you.

They're short with you.

Vancouver Film School/flickr

If you ask, “How’s it going?” and they always respond with “Ok” or “Fine” — or if their emails to always get straight to the point, and never begin with a friendly “Hello” or “Good afternoon,” this may be a sign they’re not a huge fan of you.

“If your employees are beginning to sound like your moody teenager, then that’s a pretty big red flag,” says Kerr.

 

They give off negative body language.

They give off negative body language.

YouTube

Whether it’s a subtle eye roll or constantly assuming a closed-off position with arms folded across their chest, your employees’ body language will often reveal their true feelings towards you, Kerr says.  

 

Their door is always closed.

Their door is always closed.

A National Acrobat/flickr

Many employees don’t have the luxury of their own office these days, but if they do, and their door appears closed more often than not, they may be commiserating with friends, family, or even other colleagues,” Taylor says. “They may be seeking advice, or worse, checking out greener pastures.”

 

They constantly disagree with you.

They constantly disagree with you.

Leonid Mamchenkov/flickr

“Not all employees shy away from confronting the personality clashes as they pertain to business, thankfully,” says Taylor. “You may find that your staff seems increasingly more difficult and disagreeable, whereas before you were never questioned. This may be because before, they tolerated a more dictatorial management style — but now they’ve realized that they have nothing to lose by challenging you, in the hopes that they will see changes.”

 

They resign for no good reason.

They resign for no good reason.

YouTube/Marina Shifrin

Scads of surveys indicate that “the boss” still ranks as a top reason for employees leaving a job. If they don’t provide a good excuse or reason for leaving, there’s a good chance it’s you.

 

Businessinsider.com | September 2, 2016 |  

 

 

 

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#Leadership : How To Deliver Bad News To Your Boss…It May Seem Like there’s No Good Way to Deliver Bad News To the Boss. But When you Deliver Bad News in a Way that Increases the Boss’s Feeling of Confidence in Your Competence

Sometimes the boss might say, “What happened?” But there are plenty times when it doesn’t matter what went wrong.

Free- Pull Tab on Can

 

It may seem like there’s no good way to deliver bad news to the boss. But when you deliver bad news in a way that increases the boss’s feeling of confidence in your competence to handle the bad news and that gives the boss a sense of control, you can actually deepen your working relationship with the boss.

How do we do this?

Number one is offering a little bit of control. This is as easy as walking into the boss’s office and saying, “Is now a good time to talk?” Let the boss decide. It may not be the right moment; maybe the boss is in the midst of prepping for the big board meeting.

Step two is sharing that there’s some bad news. All you want to say is, “I have some bad news about the Johnson account.” Don’t downplay the situation by saying, “I have some news that you may not love.” Soft-pedaling bad news is likely to backfire and drive the boss to say, “What do you mean? This is the most horrible thing ever and you’re sitting there like this is not that bad. What are you, nuts?” Downplaying bad news undermines the boss’s confidence in your competence.

And downplaying a troublesome situation is going to be extremely bad if your boss is among the 25% of people who are Analytical Communicators. These folks like hard data, real numbers, and tend to be suspicious of people who aren’t in command of the facts and data, or try to sugarcoat, cover-up, etc. (You can take this free communication styles assessment to assess your particular style and then use that insight to diagnose your boss as well).

 

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Step three is to make sure the boss understands what the heck you’re talking about. So again, we say, “Boss, do you have a few minutes to talk? I’ve got some bad news about the Johnson account. Are you familiar with the work we’re doing on the Johnson account?”

Don’t take it for granted that the Johnson account is forefront in the boss’s mind. Sometimes the organization is too big and the boss doesn’t automatically know every single thing that’s going on. The boss may say, “Yes, I’m familiar with the Johnson account,” or the boss may say, “I don’t know the Johnson account; catch me up?” If it’s the latter, be prepared to give a concise response such as: “We’ve been working on the Johnson proposal for the past six months.” Provide only the necessary context for the bad news you’re about to share.

Approximately 19% of people are Functional Communicators. They like process, detail, timelines and well-thought-out plans. They like to communicate things in a step-by-step fashion so nothing gets missed. And if your boss is one of these folks, they will really appreciate having some background and context so that they feel totally up to speed. (You can dig deeper into these communication styles in my Forbes article “Which Of These 4 Communication Styles Are You?”)

The fourth step is to factually deliver the evidence. About 26% of people are Intuitive Communicators, and they want you to cut right to the chase. They don’t need every single piece of history or emotional musings; they really want to skip right to the end point. So you might say “After working with the Johnson account for a year and a half in what we thought was a very stable relationship, they’ve just called in three other firms to bid on the work that we’re doing with them.”

What you don’t want to say is, “I don’t want you to worry. I think this is going to be okay, but the Johnson account called in three other firms.” What the boss wants is a) the necessary information but also b) enough information to know that you grasp the seriousness of the situation. You don’t want to go in and say the sky is falling, “Oh my, gosh. This is the worst. It’s awful. We’re all going to die because they called in three other firms and just shoot me now!” That’s not fact-based communication. That’s histrionic. We don’t want that, but we also don’t want, “Don’t you worry. It’s going to be fine.” Neither of these approaches will increase the boss’s confidence in your abilities.

Now, once we’ve presented the evidence, we’re going to offer the boss a bit more control. We’re going to ask them, “That’s the situation. I have a few thoughts on some possible solutions. Is that something you would like to hear about right now?” The boss won’t always be looking for your solutions right away. You’ve had time to think this over, but the boss is just hearing about it now and may need some additional time to catch up. If the boss says “yes,” offer your solutions.

Notice that I say “solutions.” One of the single best things you can do is to bring the boss multiple solutions. This provides the boss with some options. The boss may want to wrestle with a couple of different ideas; and giving only one solution pretty much guarantees that they’re going to take your idea, discard it, and go look for their own ideas. This will make you feel irritated and it’s not serving the boss the best either.

Once we present some solutions and a resolution is decided upon, confirm the resolution with the boss. “So we’ve decided that we’re going to do ____ and you want me to handle X, Y and Z parts of this. You’re going to handle A, B and C parts of this. Is that correct?” Just like when you get an assignment, state back with crystal clear accuracy exactly what it is you’re going to be doing to eliminate any chance of misunderstanding. This also helps to build the boss’s confidence.

One final piece to this; you may have noticed that up to now we haven’t given the boss the root cause of what went wrong. There’s a reason for that. You can offer the root cause if you are asked for it. But oftentimes, when you bring bad news, the root cause doesn’t really matter; it doesn’t help solve the problem in the here and now.

Sometimes the boss might say, “What happened?” But there are plenty times when it doesn’t matter what went wrong. If your computer crashed ten minutes before an important presentation, all that matters in those precious moments is finding a way to make that presentation. You can deal with the computer later. There will likely be a time down the road when the boss will ask for the root cause, after the crisis has been averted.

Mark Murphy is a NY Times bestseller, author of Hiring For Attitude, and founder of Leadership IQ.

 

Forbes.com | May 1, 2016 | Mark Murphy

Your #Career : Six Things You Don’t Owe Your Boss..Success & Fulfillment often Depend Upon your Ability to Set Good Boundaries. Once you can Do This, Everything Else Just Falls into Place. What Do you Do to Set Boundaries Around your Work?

The typical workday is long enough as it is, and technology is making it even longer. When you do finally get home from a full day at the office, your mobile phone rings off the hook, and emails drop into your inbox from people who expect immediate responses.

Free- Big Photo Lense

While most people claim to disconnect as soon as they get home, recent research says otherwise. A study conducted by the American Psychological Association found that more than 50% of us check work email before and after work hours, throughout the weekend, and even when we’re sick. Even worse, 44% of us check work email while on vacation.

A Northern Illinois University study that came out this summer shows just how bad this level of connection really is. The study found that the expectation that people need to respond to emails during off-work hours produces a prolonged stress response, which the researchers named telepressure. Telepressure ensures that you are never able to relax and truly disengage from work. This prolonged state of stress is terrible for your health. Besides increasing your risk of heart disease, depression, and obesity, stress decreases your cognitive performance.

We need to establish boundaries between our personal and professional lives. When we don’t, our work, our health, and our personal lives suffer.

Balance between Family and WorkResponding to emails during off-work hours isn’t the only area in which you need to set boundaries. You need to make the critical distinction between what belongs to your employer and what belongs to you and you only. The items that follow are yours. If you don’t set boundaries around them and learn to say no to your boss, you’re giving away something with immeasurable value.

1. Your health. It’s difficult to know when to set boundaries around your health at work because the decline is so gradual. Allowing stress to build up, losing sleep, and sitting all day without exercising all add up. Before you know it, you’re rubbing your aching back with one hand and your zombie-like eyes with the other, and you’re looking down at your newly-acquired belly. The key here is to not let things sneak up on you, and the way you do that is by keeping a consistent routine. Think about what you need to do to keep yourself healthy (taking walks during lunch, not working weekends, taking your vacations as scheduled, etc.), make a plan, and stick to it no matter what. If you don’t, you’re allowing your work to overstep its bounds.

 

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2. Your family. It’s easy to let your family suffer for your work. Many of us do this because we see our jobs as a means of maintaining our families. We have thoughts such as ”I need to make more money so that my kids can go to college debt-free.” Though these thoughts are well-intentioned, they can burden your family with the biggest debt of all—a lack of quality time with you. When you’re on your deathbed, you won’t remember how much money you made for your spouse and kids. You’ll remember the memories you created with them.

3. Your sanity. While we all have our own levels of this to begin with, you don’t owe a shred of it to your employer. A job that takes even a small portion of your sanity is taking more than it’s entitled to. Your sanity is something that’s difficult for your boss to keep track of. You have to monitor it on your own and set good limits to keep yourself healthy. Often, it’s your life outside of work that keeps you sane. When you’ve already put in a good day’s (or week’s) work and your boss wants more, the most productive thing you can do is say no, then go and enjoy your friends and hobbies. This way, you return to work refreshed and de-stressed. You certainly can work extra hours if you want to, but it’s important to be able to say no to your boss when you need time away from work.

4. Your identity. While your work is an important part of your identity, it’s dangerous to allow your work to become your whole identity. You know you’ve allowed this to go too far when you reflect on what’s important to you and work is all that (or most of what) comes to mind. Having an identity outside of work is about more than just having fun. It also helps you relieve stress, grow as a person, and avoid burnout.

5. Your contacts. While you do owe your employer your best effort, you certainly don’t owe him or her the contacts you’ve developed over the course of your career. Your contacts are a product of your hard work and effort, and while you might share them with your company, they belong to you.

6. Your integrity. Sacrificing your integrity causes you to experience massive amounts of stress. Once you realize that your actions and beliefs are no longer in alignment, it’s time to make it clear to your employer that you’re not willing to do things his or her way. If that’s a problem for your boss, it might be time to part ways.

Bringing It All Together

Success and fulfillment often depend upon your ability to set good boundaries. Once you can do this, everything else just falls into place.

 What do you do to set boundaries around your work? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Travis co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-foundedTalentSmart, the world’s #1 provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving 75% of Fortune 500 Companies.

 

Forbes.com |  February 2, 2016 | Travis Bradberry