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#Leadership : #BossRelationship – Exactly What to Say in These 7 Difficult Conversations with your Boss. A Must REad!

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Nearly one-third of professionals admit they’d rather work an extra six hours a week than seek help in the workplace, according to a recent report from LinkedIn. This stands in sharp contrast to the number of professionals who said they’ve needed help at some point in their career.

An overwhelming majority (84%) of respondents confessed this, and among their chief concerns were dealing with stress, challenges with colleagues or managers, starting new projects, and making mistakes.

Of course, it’s easier to confide in a compassionate colleague, but be warned: If you avoid talking to your supervisor, you could be making things even worse.

If the thought of approaching your boss to ask for a raise, try your hand at a new project, or simply sharing some challenging feedback has you shaking in your shoes, take heart. We’ve asked a number of leaders to offer advice on what to say and how to say it. You’re welcome.

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 1: “YOUR MANAGEMENT STYLE ISN’T WORKING FOR ME.”

The first step for the discussion is to be aware of how you’re feeling as an employee. Second, you need to reframe the conversation to be around learning and growing. Upward feedback isn’t an opportunity to tell off your manager, it’s an opportunity to help them become a better leader. Hold their success as your intention, and then clearly and directly share what you are seeing and what isn’t working. If you are genuinely connecting with your manager and caring about their future and their success, the manager will receive your feedback.–David Hassell, cofounder and CEO, 15Five

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 2: “I’M EXPECTING A BABY.”

Sharing the news that you’re pregnant should be as exciting at the workplace as it is with friends and family. But for too many women it’s an unnecessarily stressful conversation with their boss, usually out of uncertainty about the futures of their careers. Nearly twice as many women are nervous to tell their boss they’re pregnant than five years ago, according to Bright Horizons’ fifth annual Modern Family Index.

Before speaking with your boss, take some time to check in with yourself. Know the value you bring to your team and the company, and have an action plan in place for your maternity leave and return to the company. Most importantly, go into the conversation confident and with a positive attitude. This is a great opportunity for you to learn more about the benefits your company provides for expecting and new parents, and for preparing for a new phase in what it means to be able to bring your whole self to work.--Maribeth Bearfield, chief human resources officer, Bright Horizons

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DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 3: “I’VE MADE A MISTAKE.”

It’s important to address it honestly and take ownership. One of the most frustrating things as a manager is when someone immediately starts blaming everyone else instead of taking responsibility. Be solutions-oriented, sharing what happened and how you plan to fix it. I would also suggest sharing what you learned from the experience and what you’ll do to ensure it won’t happen again. This is a great opportunity to showcase your growth mind-set. Every single person makes mistakes. But you have the opportunity to show what kind of person and employee you are in how you address, fix, and learn from them.--Sarah Alpern, vice president of user experience, LinkedIn

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 4: “I WANT A RAISE. (BUT DEEP DOWN I DON’T FEEL LIKE I DESERVE IT.)”

Asking your boss or supervisor for a raise when you deal with imposter syndrome can feel scary–especially as you may feel alone in the doubt, fear, and questions you have about your abilities, skills, and contributions to the workplace. As a female leader, I often struggle with imposter syndrome and frequently doubt the accomplishments that I set out to achieve.

One tip to overcome this is to constantly write down your contributions and where you provide the most value in the workplace–ranging from small, tactical wins to big successes. Then, when you’re looking to ask for a raise, come to the meeting prepared with a set agenda and speak to the accomplishments or goals you’ve completed throughout your time as an employee. Showing the value you provide to your team and workplace when speaking to your manager will not only minimize the doubts that come along with imposter syndrome, but it will also emphasize your capability and worthiness of a raise or promotion.

Another great option is to look for those outside of your workplace who can cheer you on and provide words of encouragements before asking for a raise. For me, having my daughter as my biggest cheerleader and seeing in her eyes how proud she is of me gives me the energy and passion to keep going. Find those sources of energy for you and keep them in mind when you show up to work each day. When you come to work with positive energy and feel motivated, talking about uncomfortable topics with managers will become less challenging.--Andee Harris, president, YouEarnedIt/HighGround

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 5: “I GOT ANOTHER, BETTER JOB OFFER.”

If you want to keep your job, approach your boss with a shared problem–you’d like to stay, but the market price for people like you has gone up. And while you love your current work and responsibilities, you’d also like to care of your family/yourself. So ask if your current boss can take this compensation issue off the table by matching the competitive offer so that you can do the right thing. Warning: You only get to do this every two years or so until you’re considered a mercenary, so make sure it is worth bringing up with her or him.

If you want to leave, be pleasant, polite, and persistent. Say something like: ‘I’ve decided that what’s best for me for my career is that I’m going to be taking a new role at Acme. I thank you very much for your time and the experience here.’ Two weeks’ notice is still the bare minimum to be considered not burning your bridges. Offer to assist with the transition, and be firm that you’re not considering staying at this time.–Marc Cenedella, CEO of Ladders

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 6: “I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A NEW PRODUCT BUT DON’T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DEVELOP IT INDEPENDENTLY.”

You should always come from the perspective of driving value for your customers. Pitch the product or solution from the perspective of how this solution helps customers or users be more effective and efficient. From there, focus on clearly defined ownership, the best ways to collaborate, and overall resourcing. Bosses love to see plans that are well thought through and will be happy to support you as a result.–Maria Zhang, VP of engineering, LinkedIn

DIFFICULT CONVERSATION 7: “I NEED HELP ASSESSING MY SKILLS SO I CAN DEVELOP AS A LEADER.”

While the role of your manager is to develop you and unlock your potential, it is also important for you to be thoughtful and proactive in your approach to your own career development. This starts with being self-aware and knowing what is expected of you in your role and how your success will be measured. When you meet with your manager, along with setting and checking on core goals for your role, share your perspective on where you want to grow, and how you’d like to accomplish that. Ask for your manager’s feedback and partnership to define ways to stretch yourself professionally. Don’t forget to then track your results and report on your progress. In addition, don’t count out your peers! If your colleague is a stellar salesperson, ask if you can shadow them. It helps to learn from the best.--Ty Heath, global lead, Market Development LMS

Regardless of the issue, know that you’re not alone. “Approaching difficult conversations with your manager is never easy, no matter what your relationship is like with your boss,” says Alexandra Clarke, director of recruiting for ForceBrands. Overall, she says, to ensure the direction of the conversation is healthy and productive, regardless of how tricky the topic, make sure you have a plan, purpose, and agendabefore you have the conversation.

Ask for feedback and advice where necessary, Clarke maintains, and always listen. Most importantly, she adds, be professional. “Be receptive and open to the idea that even if the meeting doesn’t go as planned, you were able to engage in a difficult conversation that won’t compromise or undermine your role,” Clarke explains, “and before leaving the discussion, suggest scheduling a follow-up meeting to regroup on the topic in a few days.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lydia Dishman is a reporter writing about the intersection of tech, leadership, and innovation. She is a regular contributor to Fast Company and has written for CBS Moneywatch, Fortune, The Guardian, Popular Science, and the New York Times, among others.

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FastCompany.com | January 30, 2019

#CareerAdvice : #JobPromotion – This is How you Get your Boss’s Job…Think you can Do your Boss’s Job Better than he Can? It Might be an Uphill Battle, but it’s Possible. Here are a Few Things to Consider Along the Way.

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It is natural to want to advance in your career. We drill it into people’s heads that an upward trajectory at work is the primary marker of success. That is how you get more money, opportunity, and status.

That is great. The desire to move up is one of the prerequisites for advancing. But there is a lot to do to get there. Here are a few things to consider as you get started on your journey upward.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

It can be easy to get impatient in your job—particularly early in your career. After a year in your job, you may already feel like it is time to get more responsibility. There are several reasons to take it slowly, though.

First, you wouldn’t actually want to be in an organization that promotes you too quickly. After all, what is going to happen to you when you get that job? You would like to have it for a while in order to fulfill your goals. If your organization is constantly pushing people up or out, then you won’t have time to achieve your goals in that position, either. It turns out to be a good thing that organizations change leadership slowly.

Second, your boss’s job probably involves using a lot of relationships. The higher up you go in an organization, the more that you have to work to get resources to accomplish goals. You have to navigate office politics to support your team. You are going to need time to develop relationships with other people in the company in order to work with them effectively to get what you want. If you don’t have the trust of other leaders in the organization, you are not going to have the support you require to succeed.

Third, your boss probably has to make a lot of tradeoffs. No organization has all the resources it needs for everything it would like to do. There is never enough time, money, personnel, or energy to address all of the problems and opportunities that are out there. As a result, organizations have to prioritize.

That process of trading one goal off against another is often invisible to people lower down the hierarchy. As a result, many decisions may feel like they are arbitrary, which is why you assume you would do them differently. As soon as you have your boss’s job, though, those tradeoffs become your job. And you will have to know how to balance the competing issues that draw on your resources.

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WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

If you want to move up, you need to understand what your new job will really entail. That means you have to address your current weaknesses.

Start by telling your boss you’re interested in moving up. You might think that by doing that, you are putting you and your boss in competition, But good supervisors know that an important part of the job is training the next generation of leaders. After all, they can’t be promoted if they can’t be replaced. Expressing a desire can get you into the mix for opportunities to learn about the next-level job.

Then, you need to be observant. What do people at the next level actually do? What meetings do they attend? See if you can get invited to attend some of those meetings as an observer so that you can see what issues are discussed and how they are handled.

Ask your boss a lot of questions about how and why decisions are made. If you do that in the context of wanting a promotion in the future, then these questions will be interpreted as requests for information rather than complaints about how things are currently done. That way, you can learn about the organization’s priorities and how resources are allocated. You may still find that you disagree with some decisions that get made, but if you understand why they are made as they are, you will be in a better position to try to do things differently after you get promoted.

Finally, start developing relationships with other leaders and supervisors in the company, and try to get some mentoring from them. Take them for coffee or ask for a brief meeting to ask a few key questions. The aim is to become a known quantity to other people you will have to work with when you do get a promotion. Once you get thrust into a new role, tasks will come at you quickly. You won’t have that much time to develop the relationships you need after you get into the role. You are better off developing those connections before you need them.

 

FastCompany.com | October 16, 2018

#Leadership : How to Deal When your #Boss Plays Favorites…It’s Human Nature to have Preferences. It’s Unfair and Shouldn’t Happen, But If your Boss Seems to Be Passing you Over in Favor of Someone Else, here’s How you Can Keep your Career from Tanking.

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At work, however, this natural tendency can quickly become toxic if preferential treatments are coming from the boss.

Especially if you’re the one suffering at the expense of favoritism.

In the best case scenario, your boss’s favoritism will pass without negatively impacting your career growth. In a more sinister case scenario, the favoritism continues on far too long and your professional growth suffers. You are kept out of secret meetings and brainstorming sessions. You don’t get assigned projects that can help you grow. You aren’t given credit after working hard on an assignment.

After awhile, the unfair treatment could end up damaging your ability to succeed.

“It’s really important to approach this kind of scenario with integrity and maintain a sense of confidence,” says Donna Sweiden, executive career coach at CareerFolk LLC. “Don’t let it become a chip on your shoulder, even if it might be difficult, but rather continue to engage in the work and this might be tricky because of the constant rejection.”

In order to persevere, below are four ways to handle not being your boss’s favorite:

1. BE STRAIGHTFORWARD ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT

Maybe your boss resonates with your coworker. Maybe there’s something about her that reminds your boss of himself. It doesn’t matter because you can’t do anything about it. What you can control, however, is how you react to it.

One way to deal with this situation is to “deal with the little things instead of the big picture,” says Barbara Pachter, business etiquette expert and author of the book, The Communication Clinic: 99 Proven Cures for the Most Common Business Mistakes. So instead of focusing on the fact that your boss is playing favorites, turn your attention instead on what you want that you aren’t getting. If you want a special assignment, do your homework, go in, and ask for it.

If there’s a career goal you’re trying to reach, tell your boss about it, and then ask advice on how you can get there. The most important thing is to be straightforward. Otherwise, it might not be that your boss is playing favorites, but rather they just don’t know what you want.

“It is possible that the way you’re speaking up, or the way your appear when you’re speaking up can seem wishy-washy,” warns Pachter.

 

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2. GO ABOVE AND BEYOND

You can’t control your boss’s bad behavior, and focusing on it will only eat away at your psyche and defeat you. Instead, focus on improving yourself. Eventually others will notice the good work you’re doing.

Pachter advises putting everything into your work and going above and beyond during this painful period. Get in early and stay late. And if you can stomach it, consider what it is about your boss’s favorite that has earned them special treatment. Is there anything the favorite is doing that you can learn from?

3. ASSERT YOURSELF

If you continue to do good work, you have to trust that eventually others will notice. And they might even notice your boss playing favorites, if the behavior is overt enough. One way to help people notice the good work you’re doing is to advocate for yourself. What are you doing to build your reputation outside of your department? Are you getting involved in projects with others who can vouch for your work? Can you get a mentor who can help support your career growth? Finding different avenues to success may take a bit more time and creative energy when you don’t have a boss who supports you, but eventually, articulating and advocating your values is something you’ll have to consider if you want to get the attention you deserve.

4. MANAGE UP

At some point, if your boss’s preferences are no longer something you can ignore, then it’s time to manage up.

“Obviously you can’t go on this way,” says Sweiden. “You will have to figure out a way to develop some kind of relationship with the manager.”

She adds: “Ultimately, it’s less important that people like you, but building a workable relationship is very critical because when things get difficult, you need that relationship, that foundation, to talk things out.”

However, if you’ve tried building a trusting, cordial relationship with your boss, but they’re just, quite frankly, a jerk, then it might be time you communicate this to them.

Sweiden advises asking for advice in a nonthreatening way, like “How am I doing?” By involving your boss, you’re acknowledging their expertise and also communicating that you’re on the same team. You can also bring up the fact that you’ve noticed the favorite has received X,Y, Z opportunities and you’d like to know how you can also get similar opportunities (assuming you are equal in competence and diligent). Next, be very clear on the opportunities you want.

Whatever you do, always try to separate your emotions from the conversation, especially if the favoritism has gone on for some time and has festered into loathing.

Vivian Giang is a business writer of gender conversations, leadership, entrepreneurship, workplace psychology, and whatever else she finds interesting related to work and play. You can find her on Twitter at @vivian_giang.

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FastCompany.com | October 12, 2018 

Your #Career : These Are 4 Types Of #Bosses You’ll Have, And How To Deal With Them…Most Bosses you’ll have Fit into One of These Categories. Here’s How to #Manage Each–and When to Jump Ship.

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Many types of people become managers, and they employ many different leadership styles once they do. And considering the wide spectrum of personality traits there are out there, you’d think that would lead to a multitude of managerial types. But according to Ximena Vengoechea, you’d be wrong.

A design researcher at Pinterest as well as a Fast Company contributor who writes prolifically about management, work culture, and mentorship, Vengoechea believes most bosses basically fit into four categories:

  1. Hands on, and in it for themselves
  2. Hands on, and it it for you
  3. Hands off, and in it for themselves
  4. Hands off, and in it for you

“Obviously,” she adds, “the ones where they are in it for themselves are less effective for the individual.” Also a talented illustrator, Vengoechea maps out this framework like so:

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][Illustration: Ximena Vengoechea]

Here’s her take on what employees need to know in order to deal with each type of boss.

1. HANDS ON, IN IT FOR THEMSELVES

Vengoechea doesn’t mince words: “Get a new manager!” Bosses who hover and nitpick, either because they’re on a power trip or they just assume you’ll screw it all up, are bad at the fundamentals of supervising other people. “It’s hard to grow when you’re being micromanaged and your manager is taking all the credit,” she points out. You can’t work for someone who doesn’t trust you and only looks out for their own interests.

Related:This Is How To Handle A Boss Who Overcommunicates

Of course, bad bosses who fall into this category can be broken down a bit further by their other quirks and habits. Some, for example, may be highly indecisive; others might set habitually unrealistic expectations. There are a few ways you can try to adapt to each of these habits, but that’s really just in order to make work livable while you finagle a transfer to another team internally or look for a new job altogether.

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2. HANDS ON, IN IT FOR YOU

Yes, this type of boss may have some micromanaging tendencies, but as Vengoechea cautions, “Don’t assume the worst from ad hoc check-ins. Your manager may just be proactive about helping you grow.”

Give this type of boss the benefit of the doubt (sometimes micromanaging is a symptom of work-related stress, by the way) and use it as an opportunity to improve how you communicate. “Let them know where you need their help and brainpower,” Vengoechea advises. That includes sharing when you don’t need it.

But as long as you can tell that your boss has your best interests at heart, try to see their hands-on approach as an opportunity for mentorship. As Vengoechea explained previously in Fast Company, “If a manager checks in outside of your normally scheduled one-on-one meeting, relax. Don’t automatically assume the worst and put your guard up. Consider the possibility that rather than trying to micromanage, your new boss may be trying to find ways to help, so be more receptive.”

Related:These Are The 3 Traits Of Bosses That Everyone Wants To Work For

3. HANDS OFF, IN IT FOR THEMSELVES

If your boss seems mostly concerned about their own status and advancement and uninterested in yours, that’s of course not an ideal situation. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you should run for the hills.

Vengoechea suggests first trying to test your theory about why your boss is keeping their distance–and, as she explained in a separate Fast Company story, it’s usually due to one of two reasons: “They’re either checked out at work in general, or they totally trust you.” She breaks down the best strategies for both scenarios here, but claims that in general, it’s smart to “be proactive about following up, show that one-on-ones matter, [and] widen their window onto your work.”

These efforts can all help build a bridge to a distant manager. But if you don’t make progress at deepening your rapport, Vengoechea says it’s time to look for a different boss. “It’s hard to grow if your manager doesn’t have your best interests at heart.”

4. HANDS OFF, IN IT FOR YOU

It’s not the worst thing in the world to have a boss who keeps their distance simply because they trust you to get the job done.

Here, too, the onus is on you to communicate what you need. Vengoechea suggests expressing gratitude for their trust and “share when you want more input, check in on their goals and how you can help, [and] ask for feedback.” As she put it in her previous article, it’s all about “acknowledg[ing] that you feel empowered to make decisions and run with ideas autonomously, thanks to their support. But don’t be afraid to spell out scenarios where their perspective might be helpful and productive for you.” Typically, a manager who cares about your professional development will make a greater effort to get more involved when you need that.

Related:The Management Formula Every Leader Should Know (In One Easy Chart)

“Researchers have found that employees’ relationships with managers is one of the most decisive factors in the decision to look for another job versus stay put,” Vengoechea points out, “which means that the type of manager you have matters a lot–it’s going to determine your growth in a role or in a company, as well as your happiness and fulfillment day-to-day.”

So no matter what type of manager you have, Vengoechea says, “make sure you are following the key tenets of ‘managing up’ : Understand their goals, and how you can help; learn what communication style works for them (and you!), give feedback on them, and on what you need; [and] share your wins.” Not all boss-employee relationships are win-wins, but for those who keep these basic rules in mind, more of them can be.

FastCompany.com | April 23, 2018 | BY RICH BELLIS 4 MINUTE READ

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Your #Career : The Right and Wrong Way to Manage Up at the Office…Don’t Assume Good Work will Speak for Itself—the Burden is Usually on you to Find a Way to #Communicate with your #Boss .

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It’s an ability that can shape your career more than almost any other—but many employees don’t know how to do it.

Managing up, or building smooth, productive relationships with higher-ups, requires understanding and adapting to your boss’s communication and decision-making style. Many people are promoted because of the quality of their work. But as newly minted managers aim to rise in the ranks, assuming their work will speak for itself becomes increasingly hazardous to their careers.

Roberta Matuson felt unprepared after she rose to a senior human-resources job years ago. “I was tossed into the executive suite with little more than a prayer, wondering, ‘What the heck do you do?’ ” she says. She focused on doing her job well but failed to build relationships with her bosses, leaving her with few allies.

When the company went public, “I got taken out by a wave I didn’t see coming” while the rest of the management team kept their jobs, she says. “You have to toot your own horn in a sea of cubicles to be heard.” Ms. Matuson is now a Brookline, Mass., leadership coach and author of the management book “Suddenly in Charge.”

Employees are getting less help learning these skills as companies shift training dollars toward senior leaders at the expense of middle- and low-level employees. The proportion of employers spending more than $1,000 a person annually to train middle managers, supervisors and rank-and-file employees fell below one-third in the past two years, according to a 2017 survey of 237 employers by Brandon Hall Group. Meanwhile, employers spending that much on training senior leaders rose to 58% in 2017 from 55% in 2015, says David Wentworth, a principal learning analyst for the research and advisory firm.

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Some bosses readily explain to subordinates how and when they want to communicate. Others do better when offered multiple-choice questions, says Julie Kantor, a New York City executive coach. How often do you want updates: daily, weekly or only when I have something to report? Do you prefer phone, instant messaging, email or face-to-face?

If you must bring the boss a problem, offer at least one potential solution. And respect the boss’s time. Mario Gabriele served as chief of staff for And Co, a New York City provider of software for freelancers that was recently acquired by Fiverr, a freelance marketplace. Rather than running to his bosses whenever he had a question, he waited until he could say, “I have these 10 things that we can cross off in 10 minutes,” Mr. Gabriele says. His boss, Leif Abraham, says Mr. Gabriele’s approach enabled him to give more thoughtful answers, and served as a useful update on his work.

A common pitfall is taking a boss’s behavior personally as a sign that “this person is just trying to annoy me,” says Robert Tanner, a Lacey, Wash., leadership and business consultant. Many tensions have a less sinister explanation, based on differences in how people see things and make decisions, he says.

Short of giving your boss a personality test, it’s possible to understand a manager’s style by reading such books as “Please Understand Me,” a classic on personality types, and watching how your boss communicates and makes decisions, Mr. Tanner says. Is she quick to act, or more thoughtful and reflective? Does he focus on facts, or intuitive signals or insights?

One financial-services executive was at odds with his subordinates until he and they understood they had different decision-making styles, says Mr. Tanner, who coached both the executive and his team. The executive tended to make decisions intuitively and change his mind a lot. Employees who preferred a more fact-based approach concluded he was indecisive and cared only about himself. Understanding their conflicting styles helped employees stop taking the executive’s behavior personally and frame their complaints in a way that mattered to him—by explaining that he was hurting the department’s reputation.

Employees also need to understand the boss’s priorities, Dr. Kantor says. What seems like a small error to an employee might look like a systemic failure to a boss with a broader realm to manage, she says. This includes being mindful of how your performance affects your boss’s success.

Bill Sandbrook, chief executive officer of U.S. Concrete in Euless, Texas, says he once gave a manager a big promotion, knowing he’d need mentoring to handle the increased responsibility. Mr. Sandbrook had a stake in the manager’s success, and he was disappointed when the man refused to accept coaching or even answer questions. “The power had gone to his head” and he soon left the company, Mr. Sandbrook says. “The new manager can’t be too proud to show when he doesn’t know something, and he has to totally swallow his ego and listen.”

It pays to figure out what motivates your boss, Dr. Kantor says. Does he or she need to look important? Find ways to help her talk about her successes, Dr. Kantor says. Does he want to be in control? Give him lots of information about what you’re doing and offer choices about next steps so he can make the decision.

It also pays to learn the unwritten rules of your workplace: How are disagreements handled here? When is it OK to interrupt a meeting?

Laura Williams’s boss, Rick Miller, chief executive of Sensible Financial Planning, a Waltham, Mass., investment-advisory firm, sometimes gets tied up in meetings or calls and fails to show up on time for appointments she has scheduled with him. Ms. Williams, an associate financial adviser, knows it’s OK to knock on Mr. Miller’s door when he’s more than five minutes late. She also knows the exceptions to the rule—such as avoiding interruptions when he’s on a client call, which he blocks out in red on his calendar.

“Getting to know how your boss prefers to deal with things is important,” Ms. Williams says. Mr. Miller, who includes “managing up” as a target ability on employees’ performance reviews, gives Ms. Williams high marks.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT WITH YOUR BOSS

  • Figure out and adapt to your bosses’ communication styles by watching them interact with others.
  • Seek agreement on how and when to update your boss on your work.
  • Ask yourself whether tensions with the boss may be a problem of clashing styles rather than more fundamental conflicts.
  • Avoid escalating problems to the boss too quickly, before you’ve tried solving them yourself.
  • When you bring the boss a problem, also bring at least one potential solution.
  • If you must disagree with your boss, do it privately, in a calm voice during a low-stress time.
  • Never bad-mouth your bosses behind their backs.
  • Never embarrass your boss in front of others.
  • Avoid overload by asking your boss for help prioritizing projects, rather than saying no.

Write to Sue Shellenbarger at sue.shellenbarger@wsj.com

MORE FROM WORK & FAMILY

WSJ.com | April 11, 2018 | Sue Shellenbarger 

 

Your #Career : Don’t Let Your Boss’s Poor #CommunicationSkills Hold You Back….If your #Boss is Terrible at #Communicating , you Don’t have to Deal With the Fallout. These Strategies will Help you Get the Information you Need.

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Poor communication is costing you in more ways than you probably realize. But it might not be your poor communication that’s the problem.

A recent Economist Intelligence Unit study found that communication barriers like lack of clarity, pointless meetings, and even differences in communication styles are wreaking havoc on productivity and efficiency. Forty-four percent of respondents said such issues delay or derail projects, while nearly a third said they cause low morale. A quarter attributed poor communication to missed performance goals, and 18% said a failure to communicate caused lost sales, sometimes totaling well into the six figures.

Related:How To Communicate With People Who Disagree With You

It’s one thing if the finger is pointed at you—there are plenty of ways you can shore up your own ability to ensure others hear and understand what you say. But, what if the perpetrator of murky directives is your boss?

Of course, you can ask questions, but you must know what to ask, business leadership coach Cheri Torres, PhD, author of Conversations Worth Having: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Fuel Productive and Meaningful Engagement. Try to clarify directives and expectations without unduly challenging your boss or making them feel threatened or inadequate, which can make it even tougher to get direction, she says.

“Don’t throw the boss into further panic and fear, but instead seek clarity and information from that person, and putting it in the context of, ‘I really want to do a good job for you and for the department, so I need this information in order to do that,’” she says. And to help get the information you need to succeed use these tactics.

IDENTIFY THE DISCONNECT

Identifying the root of the disconnect can make a world of difference in how you communicate with your boss on a regular basis, says Brian Kelley, vice president of employee experience at McLean, Virginia-based Sage Communications. Take note of your boss’s interactions with others. Do they have a tough time communicating with everyone? Are there traits that get in the way of clear communication? Understanding different communication styles, especially those typical of introverts, extroverts, and various personality types, can also be helpful to understand where the gap is.

“Anytime you have a poor communicator in a senior position, it’s a great opportunity to manage up and really work with your superior to make sure that they understand your needs for solid communication and the specific ways that you can really communicate with each other better,” he says. Kelley urges his direct reports to tell him what they need from him to better do their jobs. If your boss is open to that kind of frank communication, it could be enormously helpful, he says.

Related:How To Avoid The 5 Most Common Misunderstandings At Work

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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DOUBLE-CLICK

Understanding the thought process that led to this project or request can help you better understand what is being asked, says executive coach Judith E. Glaser, and author of Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results. One way to do that is to “double-click” when your boss gives you direction.

Let’s say your supervisor tells you to take on a project. They’ve obviously thought through why they want you to do so, and they’re in a state of conclusion, Glaser says. But you may not agree with the directive and may need help understanding why you’re being asked to take on the project, as well as what the point of it is. Asking about what led up to the decision to execute this project or take on this task can get you more clarity about the context and expectations, she says. That’s double-clicking, Glaser says.

“A lot of times we don’t get context from CEOs, we get conclusions. With conclusions, you miss out on a lot of the pre-thought, where the [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][employee] might be able to get in and make some adjustments to make it even better. That’s what they want to do, get into the conversation, into the thought process,” she says.

REFRAME, REFOCUS, REDIRECT

When you’re having conversations with your boss and don’t feel like you’re getting what you need, try stating the question in a different way or sharing your understanding of what’s being said, Glaser says. Respond with, “So, what I understand you’re asking me to do is . . . ” or, “What I hear you saying is that you want me to . . . ” and fill in the blank with your perspective. That will allow your supervisor to understand what you’re hearing in the conversation, she says.

Related:6 Ways To Communicate With More Authority

“When you’re not getting what you want, try to reframe it, say it in a different way, or connect it to something, a new word that might activate the opening of a conversation,” she says.

GET CLEAR ABOUT PRIORITIES

If you’re still having trouble getting detailed instructions, context, or feedback, try to focus on priorities, Kelley says. What matters about the project? What is the purpose? What will a successful outcome look like?

If you can get a clearer picture of the desired outcome, you may be able to figure out how to make that happen, Torres adds. Some bosses may try to test your problem-solving ability and resourcefulness by giving you the broad strokes of a project and allowing you to figure out how to get it done.

“Some bosses don’t give real clear instructions because they are anticipating or expecting or hoping the person will make decisions about how to do things on their own, but they assume that, rather than say that,” she says.

And if you’re feeling lost on a project or not sure you’re moving in the right direction, arranging check-ins along the way can help ensure you don’t get too far off track, Kelley adds.

FIND OTHER STAKEHOLDERS

Finding coworkers, colleagues, and even other senior-level people who can help you get the direction you need is another good strategy, Torres says. If your boss isn’t clear about direction, they may also not be clear about who else is involved in the project. Ask around and work on gathering information from people who can provide it, she says. You may also get valuable feedback about how other people have found ways to communicate effectively with your supervisor, she says.

FastCompany.com | April 12, 2018 | Gwen Moran

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Your #Career : 3 Signs It’s Time To Ask Your #Boss For That #Promotion …The Timing of your Ask is as Important as How you Ask. Here’s a Checklist to Know if the Moment is Ripe.

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You already know why you want a promotion: It will confirm what you’ve already accomplished in your role, validate your work and work ethic, and open paths for bigger and better projects. Ideally, it’ll also mean more pay.

But there’s a difference between wanting a promotion and being ready for it. In order to put your best foot forward with your manager, you need to be confident that the time is right. How can you ensure you’re not jumping the gun?

This three-part checklist can help you identify when you’re ready to make the most compelling pitch you possibly can.

1. YOU’VE BEEN DOING THE JOB YOU WANT TO BE PROMOTED TO FOR SIX MONTHS

This means you’ve been taking on more than what’s expected of your current role or level and performing well in that new scope. If you’re not sure where you stand, it’s a good time to have a check-in with your manager about her expectations for the level you’re hoping to reach, and the types of projects and impact you eventually want to make in a more senior role.

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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2. YOUR WORK HAS HAD A VISIBLE IMPACT ON THE BUSINESS

It goes without saying that you should be making an impact at the team level, that’s part and parcel of your job. But the strongest cases for moving up a level at work rest on the contributions you make to projects that have a measurable impact on the business.

Looking at the work you’ve done in the past six months, identify the impact you’ve made for your team as well as for the business. That impact can be measurable (think revenue impact) or fuzzier (strategic impact)–so long as it’s visible and provable. For example, what part did you play to make sure that your team (and the company) met their sales target for the year? Did you propose a new idea to the higher-ups that they turned into company policy? To make your case, outline not just the business impact your work has driven, but also the alternate paths the team or company might have gone down without your work.

If you’re struggling to identify how your work fits into big-picture company goals, you might need to postpone your promotion request and instead work with your manager on a strategy to make your work more impactful.

3. YOU’VE MADE PROGRESS ON PREVIOUSLY IDENTIFIED DEVELOPMENT AREAS

If you’ve been in your role for at least six months, you should have gotten feedback by now on what you can to do improve. (If you haven’t, you should drop everything and ask for feedback now.) Have you made progress in the development areas your manager raised to you? Are some of these areas prerequisites for getting to the next level? If you’re excelling in them, it’s a great sign that now’s the time to make your case for a promotion.

Nodded your head to all these scenarios? You’re almost ready. Before approaching your manager, make sure you’ve gathered comprehensive documentation of your progress and performance. This should include specifics. Come armed with plenty of examples of how you’ve exceeded expectations, the measurable impact you’ve had on the business, and the progress you’ve made in the last six months.

At the same time, you’ll want to keep an open mind: Your manager will inevitably have a different perspective on your performance, impact, and progress. So take the time to compare notes in good faith and respectfully advocate for yourself. If you disagree, don’t be afraid to push back politely with concrete examples of your progress. By the end of the conversation, you and your boss should be able to arrive at a game plan you both feel comfortable with.

And yes, that may mean accepting a “not yet” to your promotion request. But you’ve at least laid out a reasonable timetable for getting to the next level.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ximena Vengoechea is a design researcher, writer, and illustrator whose work on personal and professional development has been published in Inc., Newsweek, and HuffPost. She currently manages a team of researchers at Pinterest, in addition to leading a company-wide mentorship program.

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FastCompany.com | March 16, 2018 | BY XIMENA VENGOECHEA 3 MINUTE READ

Your #Career : 8 Things that Could Derail your Career if you Say Them to your #Boss …….To Avoid that Kind of Catastrophe & Keep your #Job & Dignity Intact, Heed these Things you Should Never Say to your Boss.

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  • Even if you and your boss are friendly, you have to be careful about what you say to him or her.
  • Saying that you need a raise because of financial issues or complaining about your coworkers could land you in hot water.
  • Here are eight things you shouldn’t say to your boss, and what to say instead.

Everyone occasionally says the wrong thing to the wrong person.  After you backpedal furiously and apologize, the matter is usually put to rest and both of you can move on.

However, when that “wrong person” happens to be your boss, the awkwardness-level gets cranked to 10. Worse, you could lose out on that raise or promotion you’ve been gunning for. Worse yet, you could be fired.

To avoid that kind of catastrophe and keep your job and dignity intact, heed these things you should never say to your boss.

‘I need a raise.’

You want to make more money? Shocking.

“Everyone wants a raise, so you’re not saying anything that your boss doesn’t know,” says Nicole Wood, CEO and co-founder of career coaching firm Ama La Vida.

But hold your tongue and don’t make demands of your manager, particularly when it comes to salary.

The big problem with this four-word statement is your phrasing, says Chrissy Scivicque, career coach and founder of EatYourCareer.com. “The fact that you ‘need’ more money because your car broke down or your kid has to get braces aren’t good reasons for a raise,” she says, adding that a salary bump should be something that you’ve clearly earned.

Say instead: “I’d like to discuss a raise based on my performance this past quarter.” Then, cite important milestones, and quantify your accomplishments where possible; for example, “I negotiated a new contract with an existing vendor, which saved the company $20,000 over the next six months.”

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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‘I can’t stand working with ____.’

This is one of the most common complaints managers hear from direct reports, says Tim Cole, CEO at career coaching firm The Compass Alliance. But badmouthing a colleague can paint you in a negative light—plus managers don’t want to have to deal with petty arguments between co-workers.

If you have an issue with a peer, try to resolve it with the person directly. If it’s not possible, and the issue is negatively impacting your work, bring it to your boss’ attention, but proceed with caution.

“Don’t make it a character assassination,” Wood says. Instead, point out specific things your peer has done to create a problem, and present a solution.

Say instead: “Jim is consistently late filing his reports to me, which is pushing back production and threatening the deadline. Here’s what I recommend we do.”

‘It’s not my fault.’

Using the aforementioned situation, let’s say you missed the deadline on account of Jim holding up production. Your initial reaction would be to blame Jim. Bad move. When something goes wrong, don’t scramble to point the finger at other people. You have to take responsibility for your project, Cole says.

Granted, you don’t want to simply accept blame—you should also explain how you’re going to avoid repeating the mistake in the future.

Say instead: “I understand that this is an issue. Here’s what happened, and here’s how I’m going to prevent it from happening again.”

‘But we’ve always done it this way.’

No one wants to work with someone that’s resistant to change. “Managers want employees who can adapt and find new ways of doing things more effectively,” says Scivicque.

Translation: When your boss asks you to do something differently, don’t get defensive—respond positively, Cole advises.

Say instead: “This sounds like a great idea. I’d love any recommendations you have on how to do this, since it’s different than how we’ve done it in the past.”

‘That’s not part of my job.’

Nothing good can come from telling your boss you won’t do something because it’s not part of your job description. “It doesn’t matter what you were hired to do,” Wood says. “You should be willing to contribute in new ways.”

That being said, if your manager asks you to do something that would be a better fit for a co-worker based on your peer’s area of expertise, don’t be afraid to express that to your boss.

Say instead: “I’m happy to take care of that for you. This is something that Jon normally handles, though. Would you like me to delegate it to him, or would you like me to tackle it this time?”

‘That’s above my pay grade.’

If your boss asks you to do something that you believe is outside the scope of your position, you should express your concern. The key, however, is to use a neutral tone.

Say instead: “I don’t think I have the authority to make that decision. Do you think ____ would be more appropriate to handle this task?”

‘I have too much on my plate.’

Many people believe that declining a new project or assignment can be perceived as being lazy or underperforming, but you don’t want to become so overwhelmed that quality of your work suffers. Hence, it’s important to speak up if you’re feeling maxed out, but avoid whining to your boss.

Say instead: “Right now I don’t think I have the bandwidth to take on this new assignment, but if this is a priority, can you help me reorganize what I’m working on?” If possible, offer your manager a solution to how you can reduce your workload (e.g. “Our new account needs my attention this week. Can we delegate this assignment to Amanda, since she’s worked with this client in the past?”)

‘I’m bored.’

Find yourself just sitting at your desk daydreaming? If so, it’s your responsibility to look for ways to fill your spare time. “If you just say, ‘I’m bored,’ you’re dumping the problem on your boss’ shoulders,” Wood says.

Your best tactic is to find out if your manager has any tasks that could be passed on to you. Offer to look at your department’s procedures and see where you can introduce efficiencies.

Say instead: “Here are some things that I’d like to be working on. Can I expand my responsibilities to take on these tasks, or is there something else you’d like me to take off your plate?”

Now that you know what you shouldn’t do as an upstanding member of the workforce, here’s one thing you should do: Join Monster today. You’ll get career advice and useful tips sent directly to your inbox to help you gracefully move up the ladder.

Read the original article on Monster. Copyright 2018. Follow Monster on Twitter.

 

Businessinsider.com | February 4, 2018 | Daniel Bortz, Monster

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#Leadership : 7 Ways to Outshine a Tyrannical #Boss …Sure, you could Look for Another #Job but How much Sweeter would it Be to #Work you Way Up until you can #Fire that Miserable Person?

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There is little worse than working under a self-righteous boss who refuses to help make us or anyone else more successful. These types of bosses make life miserable, sometimes so miserable that we forget that we’re even passionate about what we do.

Bosses should act and perform like leaders. When our boss is inconsistent, unprofessional, placing us in no-win situations, who backstabs, sarcastically puts us and others down, and who put obstacles in our way to make our success nearly impossible, we must do all we can to outshine this person, and give them as little of our time, power and attention as possible.

Related: 4 Signs of a Terrible, Toxic Boss

1. Strategize

We become frustrated with difficult bosses because they consistently display unprofessional behavior. However, the one thing we can count on is the consistency of who they are and how they treat us.

Whatever behaviors are consistent in our boss allows us to create solid strategies to fend against them. We must put a plan of action and expectation in place by anticipating what is coming. Being proactive gives us the edge. If our boss is in a “good mood” toward us, we should mirror that mood back. When our boss is acting tyrannical toward us, we must force ourselves to act as if we’re hearing them out, when really we’ll be turning our ears off. This helps us take their ranting with a grain of salt.

The more of a quiet confidence we can demonstrate, the more the spotlight lands on our boss in a negative light. Most importantly, we must display confidence and an unshakable demeanor toward him/her regardless of what we’re feeling inside.

Related: 9 Ways to Show More Confidence in Business

 

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What Skill Sets do You have to be ‘Sharpened’ ?

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2. Be prepared.

Wherever we are well-prepared, we are more likely to come out on top. Before engaging with our boss, we must take some time to formulate our responses, behaviors and reactions. It is helpful to write our actions or responses down, or to envision and practice conversations in our mind before delivering them to our boss. Rehearsing helps us to have the guts to confront our boss by saying, “when I am treated in this way, it makes it difficult for me to feel motivated, in fact it does just the opposite.”

It is also appropriate to say “This type of treatment is not effective.” The other thing that is powerful is to “okay” them but to continue behaving just as we are and doing what we know works for us. The best way to prepare is to predict our boss’s comeback and our desired response. Its also important to prepare for threats and a possible fall-out by entertaining recruiters and/or seeking other employment opportunities.

Related: 4 Ways to Love the Job You Hate

4. Remain composed.

As hard as it is to keep our composure, this is critically important. Remain professional. As hard as our boss may sarcastically provoke, ignore, humiliate or cut us down, we must train ourselves to always take the high road. If necessary, follow the proper procedures with HR and file the necessary complaints.

Whenever possible, talk to executives with higher-level superiority and maintain a calm and professional demeaner when doing so. Be straightforward, assertive and patient. When others talk about our boss, as much as we want to trash them, stay out of the gossip. We must be mindful to vent our frustrations to anyone other than other abused coworkers who may throw us and what us said under the bus as a way to avoid having the spotlight on them.

Related: 11 Rebellious and Fun Songs For When You Hate Your Job

5. Remain consistent.

Because our boss is inconsistent, our dogged consistency will win in the end. It isn’t likely the situation with our difficult boss will change overnight, so if we want to stay with our organization, we must be ready for the long haul.

We must commit to being rock solid in our work effort, and in communicating with our boss about what we will and won’t tolerate in terms of how we’re treated. If we show we can do this, it is likely our coworkers will have more courage to follow suit. Moreover, we must be persistent in calling out our boss’s bad behavior, and putting a plan into action. The key is to not let our boss get away with continuing his/her bad behavior.

Related: 4 Ways to Handle a Boss Who Steals Credit for Your Ideas

5. Grit

Regardless of our boss, we need to have the grit to continue doing our very best work. We must show up on time, be mindful not to overstay on lunches, do exactly what we’re asked without complaint or argument and demonstrate that our success is under our control, not that of our boss.

When our boss cannot complain about our work, our effort or our attitude we give our boss nothing to go on. Succeeding in spite of this person is key. We do this by having the grit to follow through regardless of obstacles placed in our way.

Related: Why ‘Grit’ May Be Everything for Success

6. Be visible.

There are many other higher-level executives in each organization we can seek to aim to impress outside of our boss. We must do all we can to make ourselves visible to these other people.

How do we do this? We make our results known, we begin conversations with them, offer to help them in any way we can, be great to customers so there is no evidence that we are performing below standard, and express interest in our own growth. We must make sure that our name is on everything we do, from every email, every invoice and that we are mentioned in every meeting. We must take initiative to introduce ourselves on conference calls by stating who we are, what our position is, along with showcasing our positive outcomes and results when asked.

 

Related: 5 Ways to Work Remotely Without Being Overlooked

7. Move up.

There are two ways to get out from under a horrible boss; change jobs or work hard to get promoted. To create a chance at promotion, we must keep our focus on our own personal plan, goals and objectives. We must do all we can not to take the bullying coming from our boss personally. We must not, at all cost, allow our work performance to suffer under these types of people. Over time if we can stick to this program, we have the best option to move up and beyond this person, maybe even into a position where we can fire him/her.

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Entrepreneur.com | January 26, 2018 |  

#Leadership : What You & Your Boss Should Be Discussing Each Month Of The Year…Having a Monthly Plan can Make Check-Ins with your #Boss more #Productive .

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When you think about those monthly check-ins with your boss, it’s the standing invite on your calendar that likely brews both excitement and anxiety. Even so, being in constant communication with the person who will help you meet your professional goals should always be a priority.

One way to take the heat off of these 30-day mind melds is to come in with a plan, according to motivational speaker and workplace expert Amy Cooper Hakim, PhD.

“Some employees wait for feedback or direction from the manager, and assume that ‘no news is good news.’ But in fact, that is not always so,” she said. “To be safe, it is best to have consistent, regular dialogue to ensure that needs are being met in both directions.”

Here, then, is some month-by-month fodder that will build trust, rapport, and loyalty with your boss:

JANUARY: THE ONE ABOUT FOCUS

Especially if you’re on the East Coast, coming back to work after a long winter’s cat nap over the holidays is a drag. Not only is it usually freezing outside, but fewer hours of daytime mean you barely catch a glimpse of the sun. Hakim says many employees struggle during this season, so it’s extra important to get clear with your manager about the goals of the quarter so you can stay focused and perform at your highest level, even if you’d rather stay at home instead.

“It is easy to get overwhelmed by work, so knowing what to prioritize will help you to focus your energy where it counts. And, without asking, you may be spinning your wheels on a project that really should be placed on the back burner,” Hakim says.

Related: How To Talk To Your Boss About Your Career Goals 

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FEBRUARY: THE ONE ABOUT PRIORITIZING

Since some folks don’t consider Valentine’s Day a holiday worth celebrating, February often feels like the official end to the holiday season, where everyone is back in the office and ready to tackle deadlines and deliverables. If you find yourself in the middle of three (or more!) tasks all at once, all of a sudden, getting clear about what needs to be completed first and foremost will give your boss the best impression. Hakim also notes it’ll demonstrate your commitment. “Asking about what needs to be accomplished shows that you care about your manager’s goals and priorities. The manager’s response may help you to better prioritize many new and ongoing projects,” she says.

MARCH: THE ONE ABOUT PROMOTIONS AND RAISES

The hard, cold truth about being a professional? If you don’t stand up for your career, no one will–and it’s up to you to have the conversation about meeting your career objectives. In other words: Hakim says if you’re aiming for a raise or a promotion, you and your manager need to be on the same page about what you need to achieve, change, or mold to get there.

March makes for the ideal time to start this chat. “Expressing your professional goal and asking for resources or steps to achieve it shows your boss that you are committed to self-growth and overall goal attainment,” Hakim says. “Managers appreciate this drive and long for employees who are self-motivated and determined.”

Related: How To Design Performance Reviews That Don’t Fail Women 

APRIL: THE ONE ABOUT THE SECOND QUARTER

After nailing it during the first quarter, going above and beyond what was requested of you, keep the momentum going in April by getting specific about how to be even better at your job. Hakim suggests asking your boss about his or her goals for the second quarter and volunteering to take on extra work to make them possible.

“We want to be seen as a go-getter and thought of for special projects that will get the most attention by the higher-ups,” she says. “By showing an interest in these projects, your boss will likely think of you for help. This can benefit you as you progress in the organization.”

MAY: THE ONE WHERE YOU SURPRISE THEM

While, sure, you don’t want to be seen as someone who is bending over backward and brown nosing your way to a fancier title, taking note of your manager’s interests will help you build a professional friendship. Being buddy-buddy isn’t recommended, but if your boss sees you as someone who pays attention, listens, and remembers qualities and tastes, you’re more likely to earn their respect.

Hakim says to seek out an article you think they’d appreciate it and bring it up in the context of a one-to-one. “This shows the boss that you have her best interests at heart. When your boss feels that you are thinking of her and of her goals, then she in turn will keep you top-of-mind,” she says.

JUNE: THE ONE ABOUT VACATION

And no, not the PTO you want to snag before your coworker does, but your manager’s summer plans. This topical conversations illustrates the emphasis you put on work/life balance and that you understand your manager needs time with friends and family, too. It’s also a way to reassure your boss that when they are jet-setting to Europe or a trendy island, you have their back.

Related: Do This In The First Hour, Day, Week, And Month Of Your New Job 

“While it is ideal to keep dialogue solely about work-related topics, it is also important to show your boss that you care. This personal discussion reminds your boss that you see him as a human being and not just as your manager,” Hakim says.

JULY: THE ONE WHERE YOU SHOW YOUR COMMITMENT

That summer breeze might make you feel fine, but if you let it sweep you away from your deadlines, your manager might be less than peachy-keen with you. Instead of allowing the temptation of warm weather to distract you from working at your highest level, double down and communicate your commitment to your next-up. With half a year behind you, get nitty-gritty with new goals for the third quarter. In addition to putting you in the limelight with your micro-attention to detail, Hakim also says it’ll save you unnecessary busy work in case your priorities are not aligned with those of your boss.

AUGUST: THE ONE WHERE YOU ASK FOR ADVICE

Now that you’ve maintained consistent, constant, meaningful talks throughout the year, it’s time to seek the expertise of your manager. Since they’ve likely been in the game longer than you have, seeking their perspective on books or blogs to read, courses to take, or other advancement advice illustrates respect.

“Bosses love to feel important, and it is a huge compliment for them if you want to emulate their behavior. This question isn’t sucking up either, since you can truly benefit from the insights of someone who is a leader in your organization or industry,” Hakim says.

SEPTEMBER: THE ONE WHERE YOU ASK FOR FEEDBACK

A great sign of maturity is being able to ask for critical feedback–and actually take it without getting offended. Roll up your sleeves, straighten your back, take a deep breath, and go for it in September.

“Bosses respect individuals who strive for self-improvement and growth. They especially appreciate those who can take constructive criticism and run with it,” Hakim says.

One way to open this can is to ask for areas of improvement or express places you personally seek to strengthen, giving your manager leeway to describe their experience working with you, too.

OCTOBER: THE ONE WHERE YOU SHOW YOUR LISTENING SKILLS

Remember when you inquired about areas of weakness last month? Now is the time to make your monthly meet-up about all of the ways you began working to strengthen those skills or characteristics.

“It’s one thing to ask for advice and another thing to take it and apply it. Bosses love employees who do just that,” Hakim says. If you can dictate with tangible numbers? Even better!

NOVEMBER: THE ONE WHERE YOU WRAP UP THE YEAR

Since–ahem, thankfully–Thanksgiving falls at the end of the month, the first three weeks of November can be spent getting serious about what needs to be finished by end of year, and setting up timelines to ensure success.

“The months leading up to the holiday season are notoriously slow, even when deliverables are still open and incomplete. By asking this question, your boss understands that you are still focused on work and on meeting department and company objectives,” Hakim says.

DECEMBER: THE ONE WHERE YOU EXPRESS GRATITUDE

As a month that sneaks up on nearly all professionals and then flies by far too fast with endless holiday parties, travel, and responsibility, pausing to say “thanks” to your manager will go a long way, and earn you major bonus stars.

“Gratitude is infectious! When we show that we are grateful and appreciative, then our boss will likely respond in kind. This positivity can make it easier to plow through those final days of the year as we wait for holiday and vacation time,” Hakim says.

FastCompany.com | January 24, 2018 | BY LINDSAY TIGAR—LADDERS 7 MINUTE READ