Your #Career : 6 Ways to Take on a Side Project That Doesn’t Take Over Your Life…Taking on a New Project Can—& Should—Be a Productive & Rewarding Experience—If you Do it Right.

/in /by

Yes, your Days are Packed, Your To-Do List is Full, & you Might Not Think that you Can Accomplish Another Project without Sacrificing what Matters to You. And yet, successful people do it every day.

Man working on the beach

Starting a New Side Project Always Seems Like a Good Idea. So you buy the materials, or you register the domain name, or you tell your friends and family that you’re booked every Sunday from now until eternity for practice sessions. And then, just a few weeks in, you start to resent the project you were once so passionate about. It’s taking up your time and it’s taking up your money, and you dismiss it as a stupid idea.

But, that’s where you’re wrong. Taking on a new project can—and should—be a productive and rewarding experience—if you do it right. Yes, your days are packed, your to-do list is full, and you might not think that you can accomplish another project without sacrificing what matters to you. And yet, successful people do it every day.

As Albert Einstein once said, “the only source of knowledge is experience.” If you’re toying with the idea of starting a new project (again), get a head start, skip the learning curve, and consider this advice from those who’ve already done it successfully.

1. Decide What You Want to Get Out of the Project

As an event planner and interior designer, Jonathan Fong has a schedule that’s full enough, without adding his book deals and frequent home decor crafts to the line-up. Every time he decides to take on a new side project, he starts with a simple question: What will I get out of this? Your motivators can be anything, from a helpful step toward your dream job to a feeling of self-accomplishment. As long as you have an achievable goal in mind before you begin, you’re going to wind up feeling successful.

 

Like this Article ?…Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 300K+ Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/frankfsc/en

  • Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

educate/collaborate/network….Look forward to your Participation !

Continue of article:

2. Make a Thorough Plan and Timeline Before Getting Started

When Susan Purdy decided to take a month off from her full-time job of parenting and lifestyle blogging to completely makeover her outdoor space, she knew it would be a challenge. What she discovered was that success in a side project depends on how well you plan. “I knew I had several items that I needed to spray paint for this project, so I set aside time to complete all the spray painting tasks at once,” she explains.

Coming up with a concrete plan before you begin to develop your project will keep you from wasting time, and it will ensure that things like personal breaks, family time, and even work hours don’t accidently get gobbled up.

 

Career Guidance

About The Author

Tikva is an editor at Hometalk, the largest home and garden how-to community on the web, where millions of people share ideas and advice. Discover how-tos and inspiration to help you better your home.

 

The Muse | August 2015

#Strategy : 23 Fascinating Diagrams Reveal How to #Negotiate with People Around the World…You Can’t Expect Negotiations with the French to be Like Negotiations with Americans, & the Same Holds True for Every Culture Around the World.

/in /by

“Determining National Characteristics is Treading a Minefield of Inaccurate Assessment & Surprising Exception. There is, However, Such a Thing as a National Norm.”

Communication Patterns 3x4

Beef up your international deal-making skills.

British linguist Richard D. Lewis charted communication patterns as well as leadership styles and cultural identities in his book, “When Cultures Collide,” which is now in a 2005 third edition. His organization offers classes in cross-cultural communication for clients like Unilever and BMW.

Although cultural generalizations can be overly reductive, Lewis, who speaks 10 languages, insists it can be done fairly, writing: “Determining national characteristics is treading a minefield of inaccurate assessment and surprising exception. There is, however, such a thing as a national norm.”

Scroll down to see Lewis’ insights on negotiating with people around the world.

Americans lay their cards on the table and resolve disagreements quickly with one or both sides making concessions.

Americans lay their cards on the table and resolve disagreements quickly with one or both sides making concessions.

Richard Lewis Communications

Canadians are inclined to seek harmony but are similar to Americans in their directness.

Canadians are inclined to seek harmony but are similar to Americans in their directness.

Richard Lewis Communications

People in the UK tend to avoid confrontation in an understated, mannered, and humorous style that can be either powerful or inefficient.

People in the UK tend to avoid confrontation in an understated, mannered, and humorous style that can be either powerful or inefficient.

Richard Lewis Communications

Germans rely on logic but “tend to amass more evidence and labor their points more than either the British or the French.”

Germans rely on logic but "tend to amass more evidence and labor their points more than either the British or the French."

Richard Lewis Communications

When meeting with the French, be prepared for a vigorous, logical debate.

When meeting with the French, be prepared for a vigorous, logical debate.

Richard Lewis Communications

Italians “regard their languages as instruments of eloquence” and take a verbose, flexible approach to negotiations.

Italians "regard their languages as instruments of eloquence" and take a verbose, flexible approach to negotiations.

Richard Lewis Communications

Like Italians, Spaniards will “pull out every stop if need be to achieve greater expressiveness.”

Like Italians, Spaniards will "pull out every stop if need be to achieve greater expressiveness."

Richard Lewis Communications

Among the Nordic countries, Swedes often have the most wide-ranging discussions.

Among the Nordic countries, Swedes often have the most wide-ranging discussions.

Richard Lewis Communications

Finns tend to value concision.

Finns tend to value concision.

Richard Lewis Communications

Most Norwegians fall somewhere in between Swedes and Finns.

Most Norwegians fall somewhere in between Swedes and Finns.

Richard Lewis Communications

The Swiss tend to be straightforward, nonaggressive negotiators. They obtain concessions by expressing confidence in the quality and value of their goods and services.

The Swiss tend to be straightforward, nonaggressive negotiators. They obtain concessions by expressing confidence in the quality and value of their goods and services.

Richard Lewis Communications

Hungarians value eloquence over logic and are unafraid to talk over each other.

Hungarians value eloquence over logic and are unafraid to talk over each other.

Richard Lewis Communications

Bulgarians may take a circuitous approach to negotiations before seeking a mutually beneficial resolution, which will often get screwed up by bureaucracy.

Bulgarians may take a circuitous approach to negotiations before seeking a mutually beneficial resolution, which will often get screwed up by bureaucracy.

Richard Lewis Communications

Poles often have a communication style that is “enigmatic, ranging from a matter-of-fact pragmatic style to a wordy, sentimental, romantic approach to any given subject.”

Poles often have a communication style that is "enigmatic, ranging from a matter-of-fact pragmatic style to a wordy, sentimental, romantic approach to any given subject."

Richard Lewis Communications

The Dutch are focused on facts and figures but “are also great talkers and rarely make final decisions without a long ‘Dutch’ debate, sometimes approaching the danger zone of over-analysis.”

The Dutch are focused on facts and figures but "are also great talkers and rarely make final decisions without a long 'Dutch' debate, sometimes approaching the danger zone of over-analysis."

Richard Lewis Communications

The Chinese tend to be more direct than the Japanese and some other East Asians. However, meetings are principally for information gathering, with the real decisions made elsewhere.

The Chinese tend to be more direct than the Japanese and some other East Asians. However, meetings are principally for information gathering, with the real decisions made elsewhere.

Richard Lewis Communications

People in Hong Kong negotiate much more briskly to achieve quick results.

People in Hong Kong negotiate much more briskly to achieve quick results.

Richard Lewis Communications

The Indian English “excel in ambiguity, and such things as truth and appearances are often subject to negotiation.”

The Indian English "excel in ambiguity, and such things as truth and appearances are often subject to negotiation."

Richard Lewis Communications

Australians tend to have a loose and frank conversational style.

Australians tend to have a loose and frank conversational style.

Richard Lewis Communications

Singaporeans generally take time to build a relationship, after which they can be shrewd negotiators.

Singaporeans generally take time to build a relationship, after which they can be shrewd negotiators.

Richard Lewis Communications

Koreans tend to be energetic conversationalists who seek to close deals quickly, occasionally stretching the truth.

Koreans tend to be energetic conversationalists who seek to close deals quickly, occasionally stretching the truth.

Richard Lewis Communications

Indonesians tend to be very deferential conversationalists, sometimes to the point of ambiguity.

Indonesians tend to be very deferential conversationalists, sometimes to the point of ambiguity.

Richard Lewis Communications

Israelis tend to proceed logically on most issues but emotionally on some.

Israelis tend to proceed logically on most issues but emotionally on some.

Richard Lewis Communications

Businessinsider.com | Aug. 14, 2015 | GUS LUBIN AND JENNA GOUDREAU

http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-negotiate-around-the-world-2015-8#ixzz3ioiPQ258

#Leadership : Nice Women Win: Why Being Nice is a Business Strength…Nice Does not Mean Answering “Yes” to All Requests. Rather, Nice Means Turning Down the Requests you Cannot Meet Respectfully.

/in /by

Have you Ever Met for the First Time a Businesswoman you Admire, & Been Surprised at how Nice She Was? Next time consider whether she’s nice in addition to her other impressive accomplishments, or whether her niceness helped her to achieve success in the first place.

thoughtful young entrepreneur

While attending a networking event, I recently met a young woman who hoped to transition from her position as a journalist to a career in business. We exchanged business cards and she promptly reached out asking to meet for a coffee and for some advice. She asked insightful questions, her resume was well-formatted and contained great content, and she was competent, polished, and friendly. While considering why she hadn’t landed a new position yet, she surprised me with a question I’ve never been asked before: “Do you think I’m too nice?”

My gut reaction was frustration: I doubted this would have been a concern if she were a man. But I paused and told her with utmost certainty, “No. It’s good to be nice in business.” Although most people are socialized to associate being nice with being weak or accommodating, niceness is actually a powerful tool for achieving your professional goals.

Nice people are likeable

And people want to work with people they like. Now more than ever, “cultural fit” is a key factor in many organizations’ hiring decisions. Nice workers get along with their team members, take the time to mentor junior employees and promote positive attitudes in the workplace. Assuming equal qualifications, I’d hire a nice candidate over an unpleasant one any day. Wouldn’t you?

Nice people say thank you

And saying thank you builds businesses. Having worked in the recognition industry for much of my career, I’ve seen first-hand the power of a simple thank you gesture in strengthening relationships, encouraging repeat business and increasing sales. In fact, sending thank you notes is one of my first suggestions when asked how to improve a sales team’s performance.

 

Like this Article ?…Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 300K+ Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/frankfsc/en

  • Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

educate/collaborate/network….Look forward to your Participation !

continue of article:

Nice people work better in teams

The ability to work well within a team is critical for success in today’s workplace. Employers value diversity within the workforce, but to harness the competitive advantage of diverse viewpoints and backgrounds, team members must feel comfortable sharing their strengths and opinions. Nice people are quick to give credit for good work, contribute positivity to the team dynamic, and “play well with others,” allowing the team to function efficiently and accomplish more.

Nice people build rapport

Any sales manager will stress the talent of building rapport as a key skill required of top sales professionals, but the ability to build rapport can drive success in customer service, human resources, and executive leadership roles as well. Nice people genuinely care about others, listen to their needs, and instinctively want to meet those needs, which, in turn, forms the foundation of trust for successful business relationships.

Nice people make better managers

Perhaps you’ve heard the popular saying: “People don’t leave their companies. People leave their managers.” As it turns out, nicer managers have more engaged employees. Included inGallup’s Q12 assessment of employee engagement are questions such as “In the last seven days, I have received recognition or praise for doing good work” and “My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person.” Nice managers care about their staff, notice their contributions, and are quick to praise good work. In turn, companies withengaged employees have better productivity, profitability and customer ratings, and lower rates of turnover, absenteeism and quality issues.

But is there such thing as being too nice?

In the wake of recent discourse surrounding the overuse of “I’m sorry”, women are becoming even more aware of how our words and actions influence perception in the corporate world. Niceness, however, does not need to mean weakness. It’s possible to eliminate self-defeating language while still being nice. Being nice is not incompatible with maintaining boundaries. Nice people can voice their opinions, stand up for their beliefs, and even disagree, but nice people do so with kindness and grace. Nice does not mean answering “yes” to all requests. Rather, nice means turning down the requests you cannot meet respectfully.

Have you ever met for the first time a businesswoman you admire, and been surprised at how nice she was? Next time consider whether she’s nice in addition to her other impressive accomplishments, or whether her niceness helped her to achieve success in the first place.

Kathryn Kerns is an expert in employee engagement, sales management, and business development for startups and small businesses. She is currently serving as Director of the Corporate Division at the New York-based flower delivery service Ode à la Rose.

 

Forbes.com | August 13, 2015 | Kathryn Kerns

#Leadership : How To Stay Ambitious In Business Without Burning Out…To #Succeed Without Sacrificing Yourself in the Process Means you Need to Set Boundaries & Take Care of Yourself Along the Way.

/in /by

How Can You be Successful & Have an Impact in Business Without Sacrificing Yourself or Your Sanity in the Process?  I’ve spent the last several years studying neuroscience, mindfulness, high performance leadership, and several other healing modalities to figure out how to create success with ease.

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Image: GettyImage

Image: GettyImage

Here is what I’ve discovered:

1. Set Clear Goals….Then Be Flexible.

If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t get there. Be very clear and specific with your goals, these are the anchors that will steer your ship.

You will encounter storms and rough waters as you sail towards your goals, so it’s important to be flexible and open to changing course as needed.

2. Visualize, Visualize, Visualize. 

One study with basketball players showed that one hour of visualization was the equivalent of seven hours of physical activity! There is incredible power in the mind/body connection. Once you have a goal, for example; “having one million customers for my new product,” you need to be able to see this goal as if it has already happened. What pictures and images represent this goal to you?

Spend at least three minutes each day visualizing success, and suddenly you’ll be having coffee with a friend when an amazing new business opportunity falls on your lap. Or you’ll meet your future soul mate at the grocery store.

 

Like this Article ?…Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 300K+ Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/frankfsc/en

  • Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

educate/collaborate/network….Look forward to your Participation !

continue of article:

3. Feel Success.

The secret ingredient to visualization is to be able to feel your goal as if it has already occurred. Your subconscious mind responds to feeling more than words, and your body cannot tell the difference between an imagined feeling, such as thinking about licking a lemon, versus the reality of licking a lemon.

When you act as if you have already achieved your goal, and you feel that way in your body, your subconscious mind will respond to create those circumstances for you. If you have a goal of making a certain amount of money, and you can’t really get jazzed in your body just thinking about a pile of money (most people don’t), think about what you want to spend that money on or which charity you want to donate it to…and notice how that feels in your body.

4. Don’t Give Up…But Do Take A Break.

The key to success is to be persistent in the long run. However, you also need to make sure you’re refueling along the way so that you don’t burn out. Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint.

If you refuse to give up, you will eventually get there. The destination may look different from your original goal, and the path may have lots of twists and turns, but you will succeed if you never give up. Some days you may feel like quitting, and it’s ok to take a break when you are frustrated. Go on a run, paint, meditate, meet a friend for coffee. Don’t push the river upstream when it isn’t working. And, just because you’re having a hard time doesn’t mean you should stop rowing all together.

5. When Someone Has What You Want – Be Happy For Them.

Competition and jealousy hurt you more than the other person. Your subconscious mind is very literal. If your goal is to become a partner at your firm and someone else gets the promotion first, you may think “that sucks.” When you have the thought “that sucks,” your subconscious mind actually associates promotion = that sucks.

Your conscious mind has the ability to discern and judge things, but the subconscious mind does not. It cannot tell that the situation sucks because theother person got the job. Instead, the subconscious mind will assume that the job itself sucks and that you don’t want it, and it will act accordingly. This is one way that we unknowingly sabotage ourselves.

So when you see someone get something that you want, be happy for them! Imagine that it’s you who has that thing instead of them, and think about how you will feel having that success yourself.

6. Only Fools Go It Alone.

It takes strength to get support. I recently watched the last episode of Jon Stewart in which he took a camera crew backstage to introduce and thank every single person on his team. It was a huge team. I had no idea it took that many people to produce The Daily Show.

All truly successful people have a team of rock stars behind the scenes. Find yours, appreciate them and allow yourself to receive their support. Giving and taking support should be balanced, don’t give more than you take.

7. Don’t Be Everything To Everyone. Learn How To Say “No.”

One woman at a retreat I led for working mothers shared a story that her husband picked their son up at daycare one afternoon and arrived an hour early because he had the time wrong. When she asked him what he did, he said “I got a beer.” She responded, incredulous, “You got a beer?! At 3pm in the afternoon before picking our son up from day care?!”

Every woman in the room was astounded. I asked the women, what would you have done? Everyone said “Run errands, checked email for work, gone to a grocery store nearby to buy toilet paper, etc.”

Then I said, “Instead of judging the husband saying ‘who does he think he is to get a beer in the middle of the afternoon!?’ Maybe we should be looking at ourselves and thinking ‘who do I think I am not taking some time for myself in the middle of the day?!’ Why am I filling every spare minute with errands, work and chores? When was the last time I took an extra hour and got a pedicure or did something just for me?’”

To succeed without sacrificing yourself in the process means you need to set boundaries and take care of yourself along the way. Get a massage, take a bath, and learn to say “no” to other peoples’ requests in order to create space for your needs to be met.

 

Forbes.com | August 12, 2015 | Vanessa Loder

 [/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

Your #Career : 6 Reasons Why Your College Major Doesn’t Matter…Your Experience, Be it On the Job or Off the Job, is What People Notice also Your #Network Matters Way More Than your College Major.

/in /by

Use your Undergraduate Years to Learn about Yourself— “It Has Yet to be Proven that Intelligence has any Survival Value.” – Arthur Clarke

College Graduate

 

“So, what’s it going to be?”  My advisor looked at me expectantly, as if I was simply at a McDonald’s needing to make the simple choice between a BigMac or a Quarter Pounder.

“Let’s run through the options,” she continued. “Government is a solid choice if you’re thinking about law school. English would be a smart decision if you’re interested in publishing or teaching. Communications is useful in most fields…”

“Women’s studies?” I ventured, hoping she would run off a list of career doors that would open to me if I chose this particular field of study.  Instead, she cocked her head to the side, chewed her pen cap and looked at me as if I was a unicorn.  Next , her eyes lit up: “You can always find a job as a nanny!”

That meeting took my stress levels to unprecedented heights. In hindsight, I realize that she had all of the best intentions with her “let’s choose a major that increases your employability” approach. It seemed reasonable enough at the time, but after helping thousands of job-seekers land multiple offers through my online coaching program, I’ve come to realize that your declared major has nothing to do with your success.

Unfortunately, that realization hasn’t caught on in the mainstream yet.

According to a recent study, 82% of 2015 graduates researched their field of choice before determining what major to pursue in college. When you look at this statistic through the lens of student loans and the 2008 recession, it comes as no surprise that students want to pursue careers that will enable them to pay off their hefty debt.

Like this Article ?…Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 300K+ Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/frankfsc/en

  • Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

educate/collaborate/network….Look forward to your Participation !

 

continue of article:

If your degree alone guaranteed a job, this kind of strategic long-term planning would make sense. And yes, there are certain jobs that require the skills affiliated with specified degrees, such as engineering, architecture, and computer science. But by and large, your college major is unlikely to have any bearing on your career success. I’ve coached math majors who later chose to pursue careers in comedy, and I’ve seen plenty of Elle Woodses come through my door, so I know firsthand that a fashion merchandising degree doesn’t affect your ability to get accepted to law school.

Plus, look at me: I’m a political science graduate and counterterrorism professional turned career coach.

Here are a few points to consider about why our attachment to the idea that majors matter should be put to rest.

  1. – Your degree is a prerequisite for the competitive workforce; the topic is irrelevant. It used to be important and special for someone to have a degree, and now it just stands as a prerequisite in the workforce. While your job will most likely require a Bachelor’s degree, it probably won’t matter what field it is in. According to recent research, 62% of recent college graduates are working in jobs that require a degree, yet only 27% of college graduates are working in a job that even relates to their major.
  2. –Certain fields yield higher incomes, but your major does not need to align with the industry. The individuals who dedicate their undergrad years to their field of choice (business, medicine, law) don’t necessarily end up achieving greater success in the field than those who arrived there with a completely unrelated major. For example, history majors who pursued careers in business ended up earning as much as business majors, according to one study. You don’t have to study English to be a writer, you don’t have to study business to be a consultant, and you don’t have to study political science to go into government. The real world doesn’t care about your degree as much as your work ethic and attitude.
  3. –Your experience, be it on the job or off the job, is what people notice. Take advantage of the opportunities you have as an undergraduate to pursue interesting internships, get involved in student organizations, and volunteer for causes you are passionate about. These lines on your resume are so much more powerful than your major because they tell employers that you are motivated, passionate, and involved. Best of all, they allow you to “create” your experience that employers request of you.
  4. –Think soft skills, not major topics. Employers want to know that you will be able to learn quickly, fit into the workplace environment, and be responsive to the task at hand. For these reasons, 93% of employers believe that critical thinking, communication, and problem-solving skills are more important than a job candidate’s undergraduate field of study. Furthermore, 95% of employers are looking for candidates whose skills translate into out-of-the-box thinking and innovation, as many of the jobs being filled today come with challenges that are more complex than in the past.Perhaps this explains why Silicon Valley is starting to favor employees who studied liberal arts, versus those who took the more “typical” tech path as software engineers. Soft skills are the skills of the future.
  5. –You’re a better performer when you’re aligned with your purpose. As a career coach, I hear from countless clients who feel energetically zapped by their jobs. When I help them get more clear on their purpose, it’s as though a new, powerful energy takes them over… Why? Because purpose gives you unprecedented energy. If you major in a field you’re truly interested in, you will give it the effort, attention and enthusiasm that translates into success. Stellar performance – in any field – is what translates into career success. Studies show that a happy brain is engaged, motivated, and productive. In other words, our happiness drives our success, so think twice before committing to that math major: Many roads lead to business school, so you might as well take the one that will make you the happiest.
  6. –Your network matters way more than your college major. You can choose a major that correlates with a high-paying job in the real world…you can hunker down and score A’s in your classes and graduate with a perfect GPA…but without a solid network of contacts, you’re missing a huge piece of the puzzle. If no one knows who you are, no one will care how smart you are. This is why it is so important that people who truly want to be successful put just as much effort, if not more, into networking as they do into their studies. You can start doing this right now, simply by building relationships with your professors, participating in internships and volunteer activities, and even by reaching out to strangers who fascinate you. I’ve seen it with my own clients, many of whom have received multiple job offers: authentic flattery goes a long way.
  7. –Your major is not going to pave a yellow brick road for career success. Scoring straight A’s in your prelaw coursework is not always the golden ticket to a million-dollar payday…If you don’t believe me, ask a lawyer.

Whatever you choose to study, make your own personal development the true goal of your undergraduate career. Use your undergraduate years to learn about yourself—your unique brilliance and your passions— not to learn everything there is to know about the branches and functions of foreign governments that don’t interest you in the belief that doing so will land you a job in politics.

We’ve all worked with the genius intern with the perfect resume who couldn’t make it to the office on time (ever); the one who spoke six languages but teamwork wasn’t one of them. Likewise, we’ve all known the colleague from the never-heard-of-it college who hustled harder than anyone else on the team and flew up the ladder with blink and you’ll miss her speed.

As Arthur Clarke said, “It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.”

What has been proven is that the most successful leaders are motivated by a purpose.

For my FREE TRAINING on how to get multiple job offers and a big salary hike, visit www.LandMoreJobOffers.com.

 

Forbes.com | August 12, 2015 | Ashley Stahl

#Leadership : 5 Ways The Fear Of Rejection Holds You Back…Getting Turned Down or Passed Up isn’t the End of the World. Learning to Tolerate the Distress Associated with Rejection can Actually Build your Confidence.

/in /by

The Fear of Rejection Often Serves as the Single Greatest Obstacle that Stands Between a Capable Individual & Enormous Success. Its Powerful Grip can Prevent You from Reaching your Greatest Potential.

Fear

Everyone fears rejection at one time or another. Maybe you decided not to ask someone out on a date because you were afraid the object of your affection would decline. Or perhaps you didn’t apply for that job because you worried you wouldn’t get it. Either way, you may have missed out on your big break.

The fear of rejection often serves as the single greatest obstacle that stands between a capable individual and enormous success. Its powerful grip can prevent you from reaching your greatest potential. Here are five ways the fear of rejection can hold you back:

1. You Avoid New Opportunities

You’re hard wired to avoid things that cause you to feel afraid. Fear is meant to keep you safe from danger. So while running away from a hungry lion makes sense, refusing to ask for a raise because you fear rejection isn’t exactly logical.

Eliminating any possible risk of rejection from your life will prevent you from exploring new opportunities. After all, there’s no guarantee that the audience will appreciate your presentation or that your friends will support your ideas. But unless you’re willing to put yourself out there and risk a rejection or two, you’re not likely to receive many rewards.

Like this Article ?…Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 300K+ Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/frankfsc/en

  • Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

educate/collaborate/network….Look forward to your Participation !

continue of article:

2. You Try to Please Everyone

One way to reduce the chances of being rejected is by trying to please everyone. Saying yes to every invite, and agreeing to do things you don’t want to do, may make others like you – at least temporarily.

But being a people-pleaser is likely to backfire in the long-run. In reality, it’s impossible to make everyone happy and you’re certainly not responsible for other people’s emotions. People-pleasing can lead to a long list of problems, including burnout and exhaustion, and it can also cause you to lose sight of your values.

3. You Maintain a Disingenuous Public Performance

The fear of rejection can lead you to put on a public persona aimed at disguising ‘the real you.’ Plastering on a fake smile and trying really hard to fit in with everyone around you may reduce your fear of being seen for who you really are. And while that public mask may help you in certain situations, people will see right through you if you lay it on too thick.

Vulnerability is key to living an authentic life. But of course, being vulnerable requires you to risk being hurt. If your fear of rejection prevents you from being genuine, you’ll struggle to form sincere relationships.

4. You Don’t Speak Up

Rather than close the deal, saying, “Call me if you decide it’s something you want,” can reduce your anxiety. This passive technique will preserve your self-worth – at least temporarily – because you won’t have to hear someone reject your offer.

Declining to express your opinion, refusing to stand up for yourself, and shying away from asking for what you want equals poor communication. It’s unlikely people are going to hand you what you want in life, unless you ask for it.

5. You Behave Passive-Aggressively

Instead of calling a friend to ask, “Can you help me move?” saying, “My family is so selfish. They’re not even going to help me move!” may be an attempt to trick your friend into volunteering. But such attempts to avoid rejection are downright manipulative.

Rejection doesn’t sting so much when you aren’t faced with it head-on. Hinting, complaining, or giving back-handed compliments are just a few of the ways people with a fear of rejection avoid direct confrontation. But ultimately, this roundabout way of doing business only causes more friction.

Short-Term Pleasure, Long-Term Problems

Rejection hurts and dodging it is one way to avoid the short-term pain. But taking steps to avoid all types of rejection only leads to long-term problems.

Getting turned down or passed up isn’t the end of the world. Learning to tolerate the distress associated with rejection can actually build your confidence. Once you see that it isn’t as catastrophic as you predict, you’ll learn to take on the attitude of, “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, keynote speaker, and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, a bestselling book that is being published in more than 20 languages.

 

Forbes.com | August 11, 2015 | Amy Morin

 

#Leadership : 8 Powerful Ways To Mold Your Children Into Leaders…As Parents & Caretakers of Children, their Path to Leadership is in Our Hands.

/in /by

The Road to Success is Paved with Failure. When you try to Shield your Children from Failure in Order to Boost their Self-Esteem, they have Trouble Tolerating the Failure Required to Succeed as a Leader.

Mother

We all want our children to become leaders.  Whether they spend the bulk of their days in the mailroom or the corner office, we want our children to grow to be courageous, passionate and authentic. We want their actions to inspire other people to be their best, to get more out of life than they ever thought possible.

As parents and caretakers of children, their path to leadership is in our hands.

We can model and teach the skills that will equip them to lead themselves and others in this hyper-competitive world, or we can allow them to fall victim to the kind of thinking that makes them slaves to the status quo.

It’s a big responsibility—but when isn’t being a parent a massive responsibility?  The beauty of building children into leaders is that it’s the little things we do every day that mold them into the people they’ll become.

Focus on The 8 Actions Below, and you’ll build leadership in your children and yourself.

1- Model Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional intelligence is that “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible; it affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.

Children learn emotional intelligence from their parents, plain and simple. As your children watch you every day, they absorb your behavior like a sponge. Children are particularly attuned to your awareness of emotions, the behavior you demonstrate in response to strong emotions and how you react and respond to their emotions.

EQ is one of the biggest drivers of success in leadership positions. TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that EQ is responsible for 58% of a leader’s job performance. Likewise, 90% of top-performing leaders have high EQs.

Most people do very little to develop their EQ growing up. Just 36% of the people we tested are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen. Children who develop a high level of EQ carry these skills into adulthood, and this gives them a leg up in leadership and in life.

 

Like this Article ?…Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 300K+ Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/frankfsc/en

  • Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

educate/collaborate/network….Look forward to your Participation !

continue of article:

2- Don’t Obsess About Achievement

Parents get sucked into obsessing about achievement because they believe that this will make their children into high-achievers. Instead, fixating on achievement creates all sorts of problems for kids. This is especially true when it comes to leadership, where focusing on individual achievement gives kids the wrong idea about how work gets done.

Simply put, the best leaders surround themselves with great people because they know they can’t do it alone. Achievement-obsessed children are so focused on awards and outcomes that they never fully understand this. All they can see is the player who’s handed the MVP trophy and the celebrity CEO who makes the news—they assume it’s all about the individual. It’s a rude awakening once they discover how real life works.

3- Don’t Praise Too Much

Children need praise to build a healthy sense of self-esteem. Unfortunately, piling on the praise doesn’t give them extra self-esteem. Children need to believe in themselves and to develop the self-confidence required to become successful leaders, but if you gush every time they put pen to paper or kick a ball (the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality), this creates confusion and false confidence. Always show your children how proud you are of their passion and effort; just don’t paint them as superstars when you know it isn’t true.

4- Allow Them To Experience Risk And Failure

Success in business and in life is driven by risk. When parents go overboard protecting their children, they don’t allow them to take risks and reap the consequences. When you aren’t allowed to fail, you don’t understand risk. A leader can’t take appropriate risks until he or she knows the bitter taste of failure that comes with risking it all and coming up short.

The road to success is paved with failure. When you try to shield your children from failure in order to boost their self-esteem, they have trouble tolerating the failure required to succeed as a leader. Don’t rub their face in it either. Children need your support when they fail. They need to know you care. They need to know that you know how much failure stings. Your support allows them to embrace the intensity of the experience and to know that they’ll make it through it all right. That, right there, is solid character building for future leaders.

5- Say No

Overindulging children is a surefire way to limit their development as leaders. To succeed as a leader, one must be able to delay gratification and work hard for things that are really important. Children need to develop this patience. They need to set goals and experience the joy that comes with working diligently towards them. Saying no to your children will disappoint them momentarily, but they’ll get over that. They’ll never get over being spoiled.

6- Let Children Solve Their Own Problems

There’s a certain self-sufficiency that comes with being a leader. When you’re the one making the calls, you should also be the one who needs to stay behind and clean up the mess these create. When parents constantly solve their children’s problems for them, children never develop the critical ability to stand on their own two feet. Children who always have someone swooping in to rescue them and clean up their mess spend their whole lives waiting for this to happen. Leaders take action. They take charge. They’re responsible and accountable. Make certain your children are as well.

7- Walk Your Talk

Authentic leaders are transparent and forthcoming. They aren’t perfect, but they earn people’s respect by walking their talk. Your children can develop this quality naturally, but only if it’s something they see you demonstrate. To be authentic, you must be honest in all things, not just in what you say and do but also in who you are. When you walk your talk, your words and actions will align with who you claim to be. Your children will see this and aspire to do the same.

8- Show You’re Human

No matter how indignant and defiant your children are at any moment, you’re still their hero and their model for the future. This can make you want to hide your past mistakes for fear that they’ll be enticed to repeat them. The opposite is true. When you don’t show any vulnerability, your children develop intense guilt about every failure because they believe that they’re the only ones to make such terrible mistakes.

To develop as leaders, children need to know that the people they look up to aren’t infallible. Leaders must be able to process their mistakes, learn from them, and move forward to be better people. Children can’t do this when they’re overcome by guilt. They need someone—a real, vulnerable person—to teach them how to process mistakes and to learn from them. When you show them how you’ve done this in the past, you’re doing just that.

Bringing It All Together

We can mold our children into leaders, but only if we work at it. Few things in life are as worth your time and effort as this.

How are you molding your children into leaders? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

Mother

Forbes.com | August 11, 2015 | Travis Bradberry

#Leadership : How You Manage Conflict Can Make Or Break Your Leadership Career…Successfully Resolving #Conflict is a Key Role of #Management. As Difficult as that May Sometimes Be.

/in /by

One of the Most Valuable Skills any Manager at Any Level can Have is the Ability to Handle Conflict Effectively. It’s Crucial. As anyone who’s managed a day or more likely knows, conflict abounds in the workplace. It can be about anything: budgets, personalities, competition for limited resources, competition with other leaders. It can be with those above you or below you. Often it simply involves, for whatever reasons, human beings just not getting along with each other.

0628_moving-up_416x416

One thing I did learn in my management days: The ability to resolve conflict quickly, diplomatically and effectively is the hallmark of a successful executive. If not resolved (or not resolved satisfactorily), conflicts fester. They become lingering distractions, ongoing problems, drains on productivity. I’d go so far as to say that how you manage conflict can make or break your leadership career.

Since the causes of conflicts are so variable, it’s hard to concisely summarize how they’re usually resolved, except to say that good leaders exercise diplomacy, collaboration and authority when needed – and try to end up with solutions that leave all involved parties feeling at least OK about the situation. But what’s easier to isolate is approaches that don’t work. These are the kind of approaches that if used too often will derail the careers of even very promising and knowledgeable executives. I’d divide the issues into two basic categories.

“My way or the highway” – This occurs when leaders persistently drive too hard for a unilateral solution. The typical sequence of events is: Frustration boils over, rank is pulled and the person highest on the management food chain imposes his or her will. The problem is, this sort of behavior may win in the short term but likely not in the long. Over the long term, people don’t like being on the receiving of this kind of treatment. With too much “my way or the highway,” the highway is what many talented employees will be hitting. And too much turnover, too much burnout, is never good for an organization – or for executive careers.

Like this Article ?…Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 300K+ Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/frankfsc/en

  • Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

educate/collaborate/network….Look forward to your Participation !

continue of article:

“Avoidance at all costs” – At the other end of the conflict spectrum is an approach that’s equally problematic, but for very different reasons. Avoiding conflict is a natural tendency – after all, conflict is hard and unpleasant. Often emotionally charged. It’s tempting to just put one’s head in the sand and hope it will go away. The trouble is, it won’t. And when leaders consistently duck conflict, it gets noticed – by those above and below. The net effect? Respect is lost. And no one in management, at any level, wants to be thought of as “weak.” If that becomes your reputation, there’s a good chance you won’t be in management too much longer.

As with much in management, a sustainable approach to conflict involves balance: An approach that looks it in the eye and neither ducks it nor steamrolls it – but deals with it fairly, firmly and thoughtfully.

Successfully resolving conflict is a key role of management. As difficult as that may sometimes be.

Victor is author of  The Type B Manager: Leading Successfully in a Type A World (Prentice Hall Press).

Forbes.com | August 11, 2015 | Victor Lipman

 

Your #Career : How To Get Ahead Instead Of Just Getting By…Sometimes Small, Mundane “Check-the-Box” Tasks Have to Get Done. However If you Spend All your Time on the Small Stuff, You’ll get By, but Not get Ahead.

/in /by

Here are 6 Reasons you’re Not Getting Anything Important Done at Work — Even When you Have the Time — and What to Do About Them:

First Sun Success Series

Sometimes small, mundane “check-the-box” tasks have to get done. For most people, it’s a problem if they never respond to email or fill out administrative reports (unsubmitted expenses, anyone?). However if you spend all your time on the small stuff, you’ll get by, but not get ahead.

I believe that there’s more for you in your life and career, so I wanted to share some insights gleaned from my own experience as the founder of Real Life E Time Coaching & Training as well as an interview I did with Alexander Schultz, CEO of Complete Labs on what keeps us addicted to small tasks and how to get the big stuff done.

Here are 6 reasons you’re not getting anything important done at work — even when you have the time — and what to do about them:

1- “Cotton Candy” Wins

“We want a sense of achievement and accomplishment,” says Schultz. “When we get a lot of things done, it feels good. But just knocking to-do items off my checklist is not the progress I want to have.” Only doing small tasks is the equivalent of only eating cotton candy. You may end up with a quick sugar high but will soon crash and need more sugar to get you back up again. Your larger projects are like meat and vegetables: they take longer to chew and digest but leave you with a lasting sense of satisfaction.

To make it easier to make progress on these items, cut them up into as small of tasks as possible. That could mean listing out activities like sending an email to someone or editing the document after writing it. By dividing a big win into small celebrations, you’re still getting something of substance completed and making it easier to make progress.

 

Like this Article ?…Share It !    You now can easily enjoy/follow/share Today our Award Winning Articles/Blogs with Now Over 300K+ Growing  Participates Worldwide in our various Social Media formats below:

FSC LinkedIn Network:   www.linkedin.com/in/frankfsc/en

  • Twitter: Follow us @ firstsunllc

educate/collaborate/network….Look forward to your Participation !

 

continue of article:

2- Mistrust of Your Memory

Another reason that you jump on little items immediately is because you fear you’ll forget to do them if they aren’t done now. Most likely you blame this on having a bad memory, but in reality it doesn’t matter how good or bad your memory is if you have the right systems in place. When you have a powerful to-do list, calendar system and email processing system, you know that you’ll get the right prompts at the right times to move items forward. By developing the right structure, even if it’s as simple as a notepad where you write down and review all your current to-do items, you can relax and focus on the bigger items at hand.

3- No Idea Where to Start

If you arrive at work, take a glance at your calendar, open your email and then just start bouncing through the day like a ping-pong ball hoping that you’ll land in the right place at the right time, you’re not alone. Many people take this sort of reactive approach to their work. When you aren’t aware of your priorities nor are you clear on when they need to get done, it’s incredibly hard to justify not taking care of the small stuff all the time.

To overcome this reactive tendency, I recommend that you review your projects and tasks lists on at least a weekly basis so that you can know what’s most important now. Then, if possible, slot in time to get the key items done on your calendar. Schultz also recommends writing your goals at the top of your to-do list and asking yourself, “Is this task aligned with what I want to accomplish and who I want to be?”

4- False Guilt

Yes, there’s a time and place to help your colleagues. But in almost every position, there’s also a time and place to focus on getting the work done that you need to do for yourself. Problems arise when external requests come at a faster rate or quantity than you can handle and you start to squeeze out the other work that you need to complete. This can lead to some people — especially people pleasers — feeling guilty for taking time to do their own work before everyone else is taken care of. But the truth is that if you don’t wrap up the projects only you can do, you’re not providing the most value for your company.

The key to overcoming this challenge is to pace the workflow. This means setting aside some time each week to drive your key projects forward, which then allows for work for others to fit into the remaining time slots available. This may mean that you don’t move ahead as quickly on other people’s projects, but in the larger picture that’s typically OK if you’re moving ahead on the most important goals.

5- Shame at Missed Deadlines

When you haven’t done something for a long time that you know you should do, even thinking about the task can trigger shame. So instead of making a dent in that big project, you answer another email.

To overcome this cycle, it’s important to recognize that everyone makes mistakes and has items they struggle to complete. It’s also helpful to talk about what’s going on with someone you trust since shame thrives in isolation. When you notice yourself avoiding a project and going into numbing behaviors, such as randomly checking social media, try to stop and recognize the root cause of these behaviors. This could mean sitting quietly and taking some deep breaths, journaling, or going on a walk and talking with a friend. The counterintuitive truth is that when you focus on your emotions and process them, you have the opportunity to release them and they’ll in turn have less impact on your behavior than if you just try to avoid them.

6- High Fives Required

Getting affirmation for your work feels good for most people. Depending on your personality type, it can be almost essential for getting things done. If you’re one of those people, don’t fight that tendency — work with it. You can do so by using online tools where you can post your activities and have others comment on them, work with a coach, or set up a buddy system with a friend to make progress on your bigger goals. That way you can get “Yahoo YHOO +1.28%!”s for each step along the way, even when the bigger project is far from complete.

If you are ready to really move forward in your career, stop letting the small stuff squelch your success.

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is a time coach, the founder of Real Life E Time Coaching & Training , and the author of How to Invest Your Time Like Money and The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment: How to Achieve More Success With Less Stress.

Forbes.com | August 11, 2015 | YEC Women

Your #Career : How To Get Ahead Instead Of Just Getting By…Sometimes small, Mundane “Check-the-Box” Tasks Have to et done.

/in /by

Sometimes small, mundane “check-the-box” tasks have to get done. For most people, it’s a problem if they never respond to email or fill out administrative reports (unsubmitted expenses, anyone?). However if you spend all your time on the small stuff, you’ll get by, but not get ahead.

I believe that there’s more for you in your life and career, so I wanted to share some insights gleaned from my own experience as the founder of Real Life E Time Coaching & Training as well as an interview I did with Alexander Schultz, CEO of Complete Labs on what keeps us addicted to small tasks and how to get the big stuff done.

Here are 6 reasons you’re not getting anything important done at work — even when you have the time — and what to do about them:

1- “Cotton Candy” Wins

“We want a sense of achievement and accomplishment,” says Schultz. “When we get a lot of things done, it feels good. But just knocking to-do items off my checklist is not the progress I want to have.” Only doing small tasks is the equivalent of only eating cotton candy. You may end up with a quick sugar high but will soon crash and need more sugar to get you back up again. Your larger projects are like meat and vegetables: they take longer to chew and digest but leave you with a lasting sense of satisfaction.

To make it easier to make progress on these items, cut them up into as small of tasks as possible. That could mean listing out activities like sending an email to someone or editing the document after writing it. By dividing a big win into small celebrations, you’re still getting something of substance completed and making it easier to make progress.

2- Mistrust of Your Memory

Another reason that you jump on little items immediately is because you fear you’ll forget to do them if they aren’t done now. Most likely you blame this on having a bad memory, but in reality it doesn’t matter how good or bad your memory is if you have the right systems in place. When you have a powerful to-do list, calendar system and email processing system, you know that you’ll get the right prompts at the right times to move items forward. By developing the right structure, even if it’s as simple as a notepad where you write down and review all your current to-do items, you can relax and focus on the bigger items at hand.

3- No Idea Where to Start

If you arrive at work, take a glance at your calendar, open your email and then just start bouncing through the day like a ping-pong ball hoping that you’ll land in the right place at the right time, you’re not alone. Many people take this sort of reactive approach to their work. When you aren’t aware of your priorities nor are you clear on when they need to get done, it’s incredibly hard to justify not taking care of the small stuff all the time.

To overcome this reactive tendency, I recommend that you review your projects and tasks lists on at least a weekly basis so that you can know what’s most important now. Then, if possible, slot in time to get the key items done on your calendar. Schultz also recommends writing your goals at the top of your to-do list and asking yourself, “Is this task aligned with what I want to accomplish and who I want to be?”

4- False Guilt

Yes, there’s a time and place to help your colleagues. But in almost every position, there’s also a time and place to focus on getting the work done that you need to do for yourself. Problems arise when external requests come at a faster rate or quantity than you can handle and you start to squeeze out the other work that you need to complete. This can lead to some people — especially people pleasers — feeling guilty for taking time to do their own work before everyone else is taken care of. But the truth is that if you don’t wrap up the projects only you can do, you’re not providing the most value for your company.

The key to overcoming this challenge is to pace the workflow. This means setting aside some time each week to drive your key projects forward, which then allows for work for others to fit into the remaining time slots available. This may mean that you don’t move ahead as quickly on other people’s projects, but in the larger picture that’s typically OK if you’re moving ahead on the most important goals.

5- Shame at Missed Deadlines

When you haven’t done something for a long time that you know you should do, even thinking about the task can trigger shame. So instead of making a dent in that big project, you answer another email.

To overcome this cycle, it’s important to recognize that everyone makes mistakes and has items they struggle to complete. It’s also helpful to talk about what’s going on with someone you trust since shame thrives in isolation. When you notice yourself avoiding a project and going into numbing behaviors, such as randomly checking social media, try to stop and recognize the root cause of these behaviors. This could mean sitting quietly and taking some deep breaths, journaling, or going on a walk and talking with a friend. The counterintuitive truth is that when you focus on your emotions and process them, you have the opportunity to release them and they’ll in turn have less impact on your behavior than if you just try to avoid them.

6- High Fives Required

Getting affirmation for your work feels good for most people. Depending on your personality type, it can be almost essential for getting things done. If you’re one of those people, don’t fight that tendency — work with it. You can do so by using online tools where you can post your activities and have others comment on them, work with a coach, or set up a buddy system with a friend to make progress on your bigger goals. That way you can get “Yahoo YHOO +1.28%!”s for each step along the way, even when the bigger project is far from complete.

If you are ready to really move forward in your career, stop letting the small stuff squelch your success.

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is a time coach, the founder of Real Life E Time Coaching & Training , and the author of How to Invest Your Time Like Money and The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment: How to Achieve More Success With Less Stress.

Forbes.com | August 11, 2015 | YEC Women