#Leadership : 21 Signs you’re Mentally Stronger than Average…How Do you Know Where you Fall on the Spectrum? We asked Psychotherapist Amy Morin, the author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.”

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Mental strength takes a long time to develop.  It is the daily practice of pushing yourself to grow stronger, maintaining realistic optimism, and setting healthy boundaries.Mentally strong people don’t dothings like waste time feeling sorry for themselves or give away their power to other people.

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How do you know where you fall on the spectrum? We asked psychotherapist Amy Morin, the author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.”

Morin shared the following 21 signs you’re mentally stronger than average, which we’ve listed here in her words:

1. You balance emotions with logic

“Mentally strong people understand how their emotions can influence their thinking. In an effort to make the best decisions possible, they balance their emotions with logic.”

2. You choose productive behavior

“While it may be tempting to make excuses, complain about other people, and avoid difficult circumstances, mentally strong people refuse to waste time on unproductive activities.”

 

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3. You feel confident in your ability to adapt to change

“Mentally strong people know that although change is uncomfortable, it’s tolerable. They focus their energy on adapting to change, rather than resisting it.”

4. You face the fears that hold you back

“While mentally strong people don’t need to conquer fears because they have something to prove to others, they do strive to face the fears that hold them back.”

CEO Image Getty

5. You learn fromyour mistakes

“Mentally strong people don’t hide or excuse their mistakes. Instead, they learn from them.”

6. You balance self-acceptance with self-improvement

“Mentally strong people accept themselves for who they are, while simultaneously recognizing their need for personal development.”

7. You genuinely celebrate other people’s success

“Mentally strong people cooperate — rather than compete — with those around them. They don’t feel as though other people’s success somehow diminishes their own achievements.”

8. You are comfortable living according to your values

“Mentally strong people make decisions with relative ease because they understand their priorities and they live according to their values.”

9. You focus on sharpening your skills, rather than showing them off

“While some people seek validation from others, mentally strong people are less concerned about gaining recognition. Instead, they’re intrinsically motivated to become better.”

10. You live an authentic life

“Mentally strong people are true to themselves. Their words are in line with their behavior.”

11. You view life’s hardships as opportunities for growth

“While hardship causes some people to grow bitter, mentally strong people let adversity make them better.”

12. Your self-worth depends on who you are, not what you achieve

“Mentally strong people feel good about themselves, whether they win or lose.”

13. You practice delayed gratification

“Mentally strong people view their goals as a marathon, not a sprint. They’re willing to tolerate short-term pain when it can provide long-term gain.”

14. You bounce back from failure

“Mentally strong people don’t view failure as the end of the road. Instead, they use their failed attempts as opportunities to gain knowledge that will increase their chances of success in the future.”

15. You’re a realistic optimist

“Mentally strong people are able to look for the silver lining and think on the bright side, but they don’t allow their optimistic tendencies to blind them to reality.”

16. You accept personal responsibility for your choices

“Mentally strong people don’t needlessly beat themselves up, but they do accept complete responsibility for their actions.”

17. You express gratitude

“Rather than exclaim they need more, mentally strong people acknowledge they have more than they need.”

18. You focus on what you can control

“Mentally strong people are effective and productive in life because they devote their resources to the things they can control.”

19. You engage in active problem-solving

“Mentally strong people don’t dwell on the problem — instead, they create solutions.”

20. You’re open to learning more from all that surrounds you

“Mentally strong people are constantly learning from their circumstances and the people they encounter every day.”

21. You work on your weaknesses, rather than masking them

“While many people work hard to disguise their vulnerabilities, mentally strong people invest their energy into improving their shortcomings.”

This is an update of an article originally published by Steven Benna.

 

Businessinsider.com | September 14, 2016 

Your #Career : The Only 7 Steps You Need To Prepare For Your Next Job Interview…There’s a Lot of Interview-Prep Advice Out there—Maybe Too Much. This is What Really Matters.

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 You stressed over every little adjective on your resume (“efficient or productive?”). You wrote draft after draft of your cover letter. And now you’ve arrived at the moment of truth: the job interview, when you’ll be face to face with the person who controls your employment destiny.

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business people shaking hands make deal and sign contract

                        Are you really gonna leave this one up to fate?

Even the most charming of candidates needs to practice before stepping in front of a hiring manager. “If you try to wing it, you’ll miss your chance to make a strong case as the best candidate, and the interviewers could recognize that you’re unprepared,” says Lori Bumgarner, owner and coach at PaNash, an executive, career, and life-coaching service in Nashville. “They’ll assume if you didn’t put in the time and effort to prepare, you’re not that interested in the job.”

Getting prepped doesn’t have to make you sweat. Monster compiled these tips to help get you ready for the big day.

1. STUDY UP ON THE COMPANY AND INDUSTRY

The more knowledge you have, the better prepared you’ll be. Start by researching the latest trends and issues in the industry the job is in, Bumgarner says. This can include reading relevant industry blogs, trade publications, and professional associations’ social media pages. Commit a few noteworthy statistics to memory so that you can wow the hiring manager with your awareness of the current state of affairs.

Then, focus on learning more about the company itself. Review press mentions for the past few years. Look for both press releases issued by the company, as well as what traditional media reported. If you’re interviewing at a public company, you can also view financial statements and reports to shareholders to find out exactly how the company makes its money. All of this information will help you craft thoughtful questions to ask during the interview.

 

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2. INVESTIGATE THE INTERVIEWERS

If you know the names of the people who will be interviewing you, do an online search on them to learn more about their professional backgrounds and what they talk about on social media.

Maybe they have a particular affinity for a certain aspect of the company, like its outreach program. If so, make a mental note to express your enthusiasm for the way the company is dedicated to giving back to the community. (Avoid a brown-nosing tone, of course.)

If you discover that you’ve got something interesting in common—like a previous employer or a passion for thumb wrestling—you’ll definitely want to use that in your meeting.

3. NAIL YOUR OPENER

One of the questions interviewers most love to open with is, Don’t get caught blabbering your way through this seemingly straightforward answer.

“Have an elevator speech ready in case they want a brief overview of your career,” says Marlene Caroselli, author and corporate trainer in Rochester, New York. Practice delivering a 30-second pitch about past experiences and successes, your skills and abilities, where you are in your career and what challenge you’re seeking next.

4. FIGURE OUT YOUR SELLING POINTS

Now you want to think about the meat and potatoes of the interview: the questions that relate to the job requirements and your experience.

Remember, your goal in the job interview is to show how you can make a positive impact on the company. Your interview answers should reiterate your unique selling points, Bumgarner says.

To practice, review some likely interview questions and make notes about the strengths you can highlight.

“For every answer, you should be able to say, ‘For example,’ and tell a story about a time when you demonstrated the things you are saying you are good at,” Bumgarner says. “Never answer in generalities.” Specific, real-world examples are what will get you hired.

5. MASTER THE CLOSER

You also want to close the interview well. Typically, an interview will end with the interviewer asking, “Is there anything you want to ask me?” Regardless of how well-informed you feel, don’t get out of your seat until you ask some questions of your own. You should include questions about the company culture as well as the job itself.

Remember: You’re interviewing the company just as much as they’re interviewing you.

After you ask your questions, you’ll want to close with a firm handshake and a positive, enthusiastic statement like “I really enjoyed meeting you, Sue, and finding out more about this position. It seems like a great fit for my experience, and I’m looking forward to hearing from you about next steps.”

6. GET YOUR HOLLYWOOD ON

There’s no better way to practice an interview than actually doing an interview, so get a friend or family member to help you. Provide them with the details you dug up on the company, the job description for your position, your resume, and cover letter. Take the list of tough interview questions from hereand provide them to your helper. (Also take a bottle of wine to thank the person—and maybe another if you actually get the job.)

Caroselli recommends you film your mock interview, if possible. (If video isn’t a possibility, record the audio.) “Study your body language to see if it reveals confidence, poise, and enthusiasm,” she says.

You should also review your performance with your interviewer. Did they think you had good answers? Did you sound or act nervous? Did you seem arrogant? Get their feedback, and adapt as needed.

7. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU’LL HAVE FOR DINNER

Once you’ve done all this prep, don’t let last-minute jitters throw you off your game. In the moments just before the interview, try to think about something else entirely.

For example, “When you get to the interview site and are waiting to be called in to the interview room, work on a brainteaser,” Caroselli says. “It calms the nerves and takes your mind off the challenge ahead.”

Take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you put in all the homework required to make a solid impression. You’ve got this. And we’re pulling for you.

This article originally appeared on Monster and is reprinted with permission.

 

FastCompany.com | DOMINIQUE RODGERS, MONSTER 09.12.16 5:00 AM

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#Leadership : How Women Leaders Emerge From Leaderless Groups…Women are More Likely to Take Command in Collaborative Work Environments—Including Those that are Predominantly Male.

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 In spite of a significant imbalance between male and female leaders in business, new research from the University at Buffalo’s School of Management suggests that in collaborative work environments where women are outnumbered, they often emerge as the natural group leader.

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The findings fly in the face of the reality of the U.S. workforce, where many fail to recognize the extent of the female leadership gap. Women represent just 3% of new CEOs in the U.S., 5.1% of Fortune 1000 CEOs, and 4% of Standard and Poor’s 500 CEOs. A recent survey by the Rockefeller Foundation also found that nine in 10 respondents thought there were more female business leaders than there really are, and further research by the W. P. Carey School of Business at Arizona State University found that those women are more likely to be targeted by shareholder activism.

“We tend to see the man as more leader-like than the woman,” says lead author Jim Lemoine, in a video interview by UB School of Management. “What we were interested in in this research were exceptions to the rule.”

In the study, researchers assigned nearly 1,000 participants to small groups and asked them to complete a series of tasks, later polling them on who emerged as the natural leader of their group. The study was replicated with participants of varying ages over both long and short-term periods.

 

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When the groups communicated a lot, or were more “extroverted” in Lemoine’s words, women were more likely to emerge as leaders. They were also more likely to emerge as leaders when the groups were predominantly male.

“When a group is composed of lots of extroverted people, they talk more,” he says. “They’re actually getting to understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses and who may be the better leader beyond this diversity demographics stuff.”

 

This getting-to-know-each-other phase is key to gender leadership balance, says Lemoine. “It makes the environment less masculine, more balanced, and gives everyone a chance to play on equal footing,” he says.

Lemoine adds that when he advises companies, he often encourages them to ignore strategy talk at first and instead spend some time getting to know the other people in the room.

“When we think of men, we think independent, aggressive, competitive risk takers, which is for a lot of people a stereotypical view of a leader,” he says. “When we think of women, we tend to think—true or not—more helpful, more cooperative, more caring.”

Lemoine explains that in spite of centuries of gender imbalance, he finally sees the tide beginning to turn in favor of female leaders. That is because when people are asked what kind of leader they want to work for today, the typical answer has evolved to describe stereotypically female characteristics. As he puts it:

People tend to answer this more now, ‘I would like to work for someone who is ethical,’ ‘I would like to work for someone who really cares about me, who understands me, who trains me, who puts me first, who’s very authentic. As our ideas of what a leader is changes, so do our ideas change of who a leader can be, so really the future is looking bright for more gender equality for who becomes a leader.

In other words, one of the key strategies for breaking the gender leadership gap in the workplace could be simple conversation between team members, in a setting that gives every member of the team a level playing field.

 

FastCompany.com | JARED LINDZON  | 09.12.16 5:25 AM

#Leadership : 3 Things Leaders Must Consider For The Sharing Economy…A Constantly Changing Landscape Needs People who are Willing and Able to Constantly Change with It —People who can Adapt Not Only as Individuals, But also as Teams. They Must be Adaptable, Resilient and Curious Enough to Learn So as to Embrace Change Quickly and Continue On.

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With teams on the rise in business today according to research by this article, people must be able to coordinate disparate interests, communicate across silos and do so without the added advantage of a stable team environment. After all, the business environment of today is anything but steady—it’s fast moving, constantly changing and a bit chaotic.

Clockwork

If, for example, you work in a hospital where your team changes every shift, then every time it disbands and re-bands there are new interpersonal dynamics to learn, new skills and competencies, new mindsets and fears that you must re-familiarize yourself with every time.

The problem is, in such fast moving environments, there’s no time to learn about each other’s backstory or practice working together. You must be able to work together before called upon because otherwise the patient (client) suffers.

A constantly changing landscape needs people who are willing and able to constantly change with it —people who can adapt not only as individuals, but also as teams. They must be adaptable, resilient and curious enough to learn so as to embrace change quickly and continue on.

However, it’s not simply up to each and every individual to “get there” but rather organizational leaders to set the right environment for such behaviors to occur. Here are three considerations for doing so:

Knowledge feeds knowledge. When you know more, you more you want to know. In a study conducted by psychologist George Loewenstein, subjects were divided into two groups. In the first group, each participant was placed in front of a computer whose screen was segmented into 50 different squares. Behind each square was a different animal, so every time a participant clicked on a square, a new animal was revealed. After a few clickthroughs the participants stopped clicking because they knew what to expect.

Now, compare this with the second group who faced similar computers with 50 squares on the screen again. Except this time, behind each square was a picture of the same animal. What happened? Every participant clicked through because their curiosity was heightened the more information they received. Information enabledprogress, just as it does for people in your team. That’s why…

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Knowledge is not power. Yes, you read that correctly–knowledge is not power. The old adage that knowledge is power is no longer relevant in a world of interconnectivity and global dispersion . If you’re holding onto information because you think it’ll protect your own interests, think again. Knowledge enables. Knowledge arms. Knowledge feeds knowledge , just as we saw above. It builds the capacity for others to build theirs. Unless you want to be bogged down with information overwhelm anddecision fatigue, you must share what you know with others to:

  1. Avoid duplicated tasks
  2. Maximize time and reduce wasted costs
  3. Stay sane

The increased rate of technology today beckons more subject matter experts to be able to “diagnose” technology, but the global dispersion of information warrants generalists who can assimilate those unique pieces of information and fit them into a larger puzzle. What this means is that people must learn how to team, how to share information and fill each other’s knowledge gaps.

Teaming is a skill. There’s a realization taking place in business today. Companies are realizing that the hierarchy in which they’re structured isn’t how work actually get things done. Instead, work is accomplished through clusters of relationships; through teams of people—it always has and most likely always will. This has profound impacts for competitive advantage because if these clusters aren’t leveraged for their scalability then that means the tacit knowledge held amongst these networks can’t be shared. Relationships are sources of intimate knowledge, which is a challenge for any leader to set a psychologically safe environment for people to share what’s on their minds with the team rather than at the bar, I mean, water cooler.

The ability to team is a learned skill–one that starts by sharing information and trusting each other to share.

Jeff is the author of Navigating Chaos: How To Find Certainty in Uncertain Situations and former Navy SEAL who helps business teams find clarity.

Forbes.com | September 12, 2016 | Jeff Boss

Your #Career : Walmart Layoffs; Troubling Signs For White Collar Workers…Your Job — Whether you’re a Blue Collar Worker or from the Professional Class — Will always Be in Jeopardy. Sometimes, Like in the Case of the Recent Walmart Announcements, those Threats can Come as a Surprise.

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Redundancy and layoffs are typically worries for low-wage, blue-collar workers — at least these days. Technology and automation are creeping into the picture, and that has millions of workers on edge about the future of their jobs. But white-collar workers haven’t experienced the same anxieties, at least not to the same extent. Sure, white-collar employees face layoffs as well, but they’re typically less expendable and have a bit more job security.That may be changing, however, as some of the nation’s largest employers are starting to cut back not only on low-skilled workers but on those in the professional class as well. That is, it’s not only cashiers that may be on the chopping block. Accountants could be next.

They are next, in fact.

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LONDON - SEPTEMBER 15: Employees comfort each other outside Lehman Brothers' Canary Wharf office on September 15, 2008 in London, England. The fourth largest American investment bank has announced that it is filing for bankruptcy protection during a growing financial crisis. (Photo by Cate Gillon/Getty Images)

White collar workers faced layoffs at Lehman Brothers in 2008, and now they face them at Walmart

For proof, you need to look no further than America’s largest private employer, Walmart. The company recentlyannounced the layoffs of 7,000 back-office employees, mostly those working in accounting and invoicing. These jobs will now be handed off to automation systems, which Walmart had been experimenting with in several hundred of its stores prior to deciding to make the call.Walmart did say that the fired employees would have chances to remain with the company in other capacities.

Walmart layoffs

A woman at a closed Walmart trying to make sense of it all

A woman at a closed Walmart trying to make sense of it all | Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images

7,000 employees being fired by the nation’s largest private employer isn’t that big of a deal, really. The company has earned a reputation for being an adversary of the working man, in many respects, and has had little troubleclosing entire stores on a whim due to talk of unionization, or other perceived dangers to its business model.

Wal-Mart says the move is being made in an effort to expend more resources in its stores themselves. Walmart has earned itself a reputation with American consumers, and though millions love shopping there, a large contingency also avoids its stores for a number of reasons. Facing increased competition from online options — Amazon, mostly — Walmart execs are trying to make their stores more pleasant to shop in, to lure consumers away from their computers and into brick-and-mortar locations.

With that comes a cut down on back-office staff, or those who aren’t helping them achieve that goal. This, from what is being reported, anyway.

This is more or less standard fare for a changing economy, though. Jobs are created and destroyed when new technologies or businesses are created. But it can’t or shouldn’t sit well with workers who felt that they had job security.

White collar jobs on the chopping block?

A white collar worker receives a rude notice regarding layoffs

A white collar worker receives a rude notice regarding layoffs | iStock.com

Let’s not lose perspective; we’re only talking about 7,000 jobs. In the grand scheme of things, that’s not an awful lot. But we’re not used to hearing about accountants or office workers getting the boot because they’ve been replaced by computers or technology — that’s something usually associated with fast food workers, or taxi drivers. Should white collar workers be worried?

Kind of. Sooner or later just about everything you can imagine will be automated to some degree. There are numerous jobs and industries that will soon be handed over to technologies, like long-haul trucking, for example. It’ll be a painful process, but people will find other jobs and other things to do. But the big difference here is that specialized skills — like those done by many white collar workers — are also being made redundant by technology.

It’s making the future seem a lot scarier, rather than awesome, for people who aren’t holding patents or intellectual property rights. How is one supposed to make a living in a future where human labor is widely unneeded? That, of course, is a bit hyperbolic, but it’s a conversation that needs to start somewhere.

The best option may be to just suck out as much wealth from the system as possible and run — as the folks running for-profit education company ITT Tech recently did.

The key is to stay ahead of the game and know what skills are going to be in demand in the future. You’ve heard it before, but here it is again: Learn a skill — a skill that commands value. As anyone can tell you these days, even a college degree isn’t going to get you much unless you can do something with it.

Your job — whether you’re a blue collar worker or from the professional class — will always be in jeopardy. Sometimes, like in the case of the recent Walmart announcements, those threats can come as a surprise.

Follow Sam on Twitter @Sliceofginger and Facebook

 

 CheatSheet.com | September 11, 2016 | Sam Elliott

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#Leadership : What I Learned Working At The Pentagon In The Days After 9/11…Brett Eaton Took some Missteps as a Young PR Hand Managing the Media’s First Look at the Pentagon Crash Site. This is What it Taught Him.

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We tend to think of strong leaders as people with tremendous resolve, singular focus, maybe even stubborn to a fault. But this view diminishes leaders who excel because they strive to learn, improve, and grow alongside their teams. They roll with the punches. They’re fluid.

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On September 11, 2001, I was working a low-level contract job at the Pentagon. In the aftermath of the attack that killed 184 people, I found myself thrust into a leadership position for which I was unprepared. Looking back 15 years later, here’s what that experience taught me.

OCTOBER 5, 2001

It was early in my career, and I was helping run public relations for the architecture and engineering firm that was managing the Pentagon’s the first-ever major renovation. On 9/11, American Airlines Flight 77 struck the area of the building we’d just finished renovating, with the damage extending into the wing where new work was just beginning. The impact, explosion, fire, smoke, and water damaged nearly 2 million square feet of space—twice the size of the U.S. Capitol Building. From the exterior of the Pentagon, though, you’d never know just how bad it was.

That’s where my team came in. In the immediate aftermath of the terrorist attacks, security was a top priority. As a result, very few members of the news media had been allowed inside the damaged areas as FBI gathered evidence. But on the day the FBI turned control of the crash site over to the Department of Defense, I was responsible for organizing the first press briefing of the area, which would let the media see for the first time the true scope of the mess before demolition and reconstruction work got underway.

So on the afternoon of October 5, 2001, the Pentagon Police opened the gates to the crash site. I waited in a small clearing that allowed a good view of the airplane’s point of impact. I was accompanied by Lee Evey, the Pentagon Renovation Program Manager. We’d put together a few presentation boards to help tell our story—but nothing else. No riser, no microphone, no prepared statement. After all, this wasn’t a press conference, just a photoshoot for maybe a dozen reporters in the Pentagon press corps.

That’s what I thought, anyway, until the news media machine stormed through the gates.

I estimated there were at least 50 reporters, camera operators, and photographers, but it was impossible to get a clear headcount as they pushed and shoved each other, fighting for the best position close to Lee. After a few moments of chaos, he put his fingers between his teeth and silenced the horde with an ear-piercing whistle.

At around the 0:35 mark of the C-SPAN video from that day, Lee says, “Normally when a group comes up here, we give them a little briefing. That may not be what you want to do. What is it you’re expecting here?”

They expected a briefing. They expected a tour. They expected a voice of leadership in a time of fear. I’d failed to prepare Lee for this opportunity, but he rolled into his pitch, taking a pen from his pocket to point to the presentation board. He was knowledgeable, personable, and in charge. He answered questions and we took the group—still pushing and shoving—inside the Pentagon with a warning to watch their step and look out for falling debris. We finished the day with no significant injuries and positive media coverage of the work we were about to undertake.

From my perspective, it was a disaster. I had unintentionally set my boss up to be embarrassed on national television. Lee shined in the spotlight anyway—despite my fumbling the ball PR-wise, not because of it. I thought this might be my first and last press conference. I waited for Lee to come down on me.

Instead, he said, “Next time, prepare as if you’re in charge.”

1. “PREPARE AS IF YOU’RE IN CHARGE”

I know now that to prepare as if you’re in charge is different than to pretendas if you’re in charge, which suggests you just start telling people what to do. It’s also different than simply over-preparing, like you’re cramming for a final exam. To prepare as if you’re in charge requires anticipating risks and opportunities as though you’re the only person accountable for what happens.

It would be years later before I understood all of this deeply, but I internalized at least the gist of Lee’s advice right away. So the next time I was asked to prepare a media opportunity, I prepared as if I would deliver it myself. I confirmed the data and understood it well enough to defend the figures. I rehearsed what I would say to make sure the timing was on point. I asked questions of colleagues to understand the benefits of design-build contracting.

I prepared as if I myself were Lee Evey, about to stand in front of reporters, and I made sure I knew who they were and what they expected. And sure enough, just few weeks later, I was the one in front of the cameras. This time, I was ready to be.

 

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2. IF YOU’RE GIVEN A CHANCE TO LEAD, EMBRACE IT

At the time, I assumed Lee simply had more important matters demanding his attention than hiring someone to replace me. Only years later did I realize that by empowering me, he’d pushed me knowingly into a leadership role.

Soon enough, I was empowered to represent the Pentagon Renovation Program as the keynote speaker at national conferences, and to give briefings and tours of construction activity to members of Congress, foreign ministers of defense, and celebrities on USO tours. The enormity of my responsibility was never lost on me.

I learned that people who are already inclined to lead still benefit from the explicit permission to do so—even if they aren’t 100% prepared for it at first. If you’re given that opportunity, embrace it.

3. ADAPT, ADAPT, ADAPT

Bruce Lee famously said, “Be water, my friend.” Lee Evey said, “What is it you’re expecting here?” Both understood the power—and necessity—of adapting.

We tend to think of strong leaders as people with tremendous resolve, singular focus, maybe even stubborn to a fault. But this view diminishes leaders who excel because they strive to learn, improve, and grow alongside their teams. They roll with the punches. They’re fluid.

After the Pentagon was rebuilt and the renovation was back on schedule, I was asked to create a new communications function for the Director of Administration and Management for the Office of the Secretary of Defense, a position colloquially known as “The Mayor of the Pentagon.” Since I was starting from scratch, the opportunity required adapting as I went along.

That October morning, Lee Evey showed me what adaptation looks like. It was in the weeks, months, and years afterward that I learned how to do it myself.

Brett Eaton is the Associate Vice President for Communications and External Relations at Wake Forest University. Follow him on Twitter at @bretteaton.

FastCompany.com | BRETT EATON | 09.11.16 5:00 AM

 

#Life : 17 Minor Habits that are Making your Life More Difficult Without you Realizing It…Our Habits are What Ultimately Build Who we Are.

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If we build positive daily habits, we create ourselves in a positive and thoughtful direction. If we build negative daily habits, we find wake up in deep holes while at the same time wondering how we got there in the first place.

young green plant in soil for agriculture, business growth or environment concepts (isolated on white background)

The key, then, is to understand how these habits come to be — and having the awareness to spot those that prohibit larger, more positive growth.

Here are some of the most common “bad habits” that tend to sneak under the radar and cause more harm than good.

1. You don’t follow through

Yes, this is a habit. Whether you’re promising to take out the trash or you’re promising to get the merger deal signed and delivered by Friday end-of-day, both are a function of the same habit — you have to follow through.

And what you don’t realize is that in not following through, you end up creating more work for yourself on the back end.

2. You ride instead of run

A metaphor and a literal translation of one’s work ethic, “riding” the bus is a very different experience than running alongside it. Be the runner, not the rider.

Contrary to popular belief, you will feel much more alive when you are part of the experience and the collaboration rather than just tagging along. If you’re tagging along, you’ll feel groggy and disposable. Get involved.

 

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3. You don’t make time to sleep

This whole “I work more and sleep less than you” competition is pretty much a charade. Humans have to sleep. We all have to sleep.

You’ll fall asleep sometime, regardless. So make it a schedule, make it a daily priority, find your rhythm, and leave it at that.

Being a Negative Nancy does nothing but suck the energy out of everyone — including you. Find the positive and focus on that.

5. You “have to be right”

There’s nothing quite like an endless argument.

6. You forget to breathe

I mean this in the most literal way — if you don’t make time to get back in your body and actually feel yourself breathe, then you aren’t just busy. You’re coping. Get back in touch with your core self, ASAP.

7. You check your email every three seconds

Nobody is going anywhere. No one is dying. Relax.

8. You eat lots of sugar carbs

Health lesson here: Sugar carbs spike your insulin. If your breakfast is a fruit bowl, that might explain why for the first hour you feel great and the second hour you feel like you want to take a nap. Eat less sugar.

9. You drink too much coffee

The gray area between moderation and addiction lies somewhere between a Grande dark roast and a Venti black eye.

10. You only work and never play

Especially if you’re in a creative industry, you have to make time for input, not just output.

11. Your circle of friends is one dimensional

This can be exceedingly exhausting. Come on, branch out a bit and surround yourself with people who will make you think differently.

12. You don’t exercise

Again, it’s contrary to popular belief, but standing still doesn’t make you feel energized and alive. The body wants to be pushed, challenged, torn apart, and rebuilt again. Give it that freedom.

 

13. You don’t study your craft

Energy is earned. We have more energy about the things we feel good about. And you can’t feel good about something unless you work at it. Put in the work, and you’ll feel energized.

14. You try to do too much at once

It is an art learning how to take on just enough so that you’re comfortably busy, but not so much that you’re constantly drowning.

15. You don’t practice appreciation

Living a happy life has far less to do with what you achieve or earn, and far more with how much you can appreciate. It is a practice, and deserves attention every single day.

16. You don’t listen

By not taking the time to listen to others, you make them feel disrespected. In turn, they react negatively toward you, and on and on the cycle goes. Take the extra minute and lend an ear.

17. You aren’t doing what you love

The ultimate energy-suck is not doing what you are completely and utterly obsessed with. Do what you love, and you’ll have more energy than you know what to do with.

Read the original article on Inc.. Copyright 2016. Follow Inc. on Twitter.

Businessinsider.com | September 10, 2016 | Nicolas Cole, Inc.

#Leadership : 10 Things You Can Do to Boost Self-Confidence…Take Charge of your Feelings, and Start Overcoming Obstacles.

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Nobody is born with limitless self-confidence. If someone seems to have incredible self-confidence, it’s because he or she has worked on building it for years. Self-confidence is something that you learn to build up because the challenging world of business, and life in general, can deflate it.

Free- Women walking on Narrow Bridge

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on.” — Maxwell Maltz

An online negative review, a request for a refund from a customer or a flat rejection from investors can all cause our self-confidence to dwindle. Well-meaning but sometimes unkind comments from those closest to us can also hit us hard.

On top of this, we have to deal with our inner critic of self-doubt that constantly tells us that we are not good enough. When bombarded by so many elements that threaten our self-confidence, we need to take charge of building it up for ourselves.

As we teach at Skill Incubator, building a successful business requires a thick skin and unshakable confidence in your ability to overcome obstacles. Here are 10 things you can do to build up your self-confidence.

1. Visualize yourself as you want to be.

“What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill

Visualization is the technique of seeing an image of yourself that you are proud of, in your own mind. When we struggle with low self-confidence, we have a poor perception of ourselves that is often inaccurate. Practice visualizing a fantastic version of yourself, achieving your goals.

 

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2. Affirm yourself.

“Affirmations are a powerful tool to deliberately install desired beliefs about yourself.” — Nikki Carnevale 

We tend to behave in accordance with our own self-image. The trick to making lasting change is to change how you view yourself.

Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. These are normally more effective if said out loud so that you can hear yourself say it. We tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly. For example, if you hate your own physical appearance, practice saying something that you appreciate or like about yourself when you next look in the mirror.

To get your brain to accept your positive statements more quickly, phrase your affirmations as questions like, “Why am I so good in making deals?” instead of “I am so good at making deals.” Our brains are biologically wired to seek answers to questions, without analyzing whether the question is valid or not.

3. Do one thing that scares you every day.

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” — T. Harv Eker

The best way to overcome fear is to face it head-on. By doing something that scares you every day and gaining confidence from every experience, you will see your self-confidence soar. So, get out of your comfort zone and face your fears!

4. Question your inner critic.

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise L. Hay

Some of the harshest comments that we get come from ourselves, via the “voice of the inner critic.” If you struggle with low self-confidence, there is a possibility that your inner critic has become overactive and inaccurate.

Strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy help you to question your inner critic, and look for evidence to support or deny the things that your inner critic is saying to you. For example, if you think that you are a failure, ask yourself, “What evidence is there to support the thought that I am a failure?” and “What evidence is there that doesn’t support the thought that I am a failure?”

Find opportunities to congratulate, compliment and reward yourself, even for the smallest successes. As Mark Twain said, “[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][A] man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

Related: 9 Movie Clips (With Songs!) to Keep You Inspired

5. Take the 100 days of rejection challenge.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Jia Jiang has become famous for recording his experience of “busting fear” by purposefully making crazy requests of people in order to be rejected over 100 days. His purpose was to desensitize himself to rejection, after he became more upset than he expected over rejection from a potential investor. Busting fear isn’t easy to do, but if you want to have fun while building up your self-confidence, this is a powerful way to do it.

6. Set yourself up to win.

“To establish true self-confidence, we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” — Denis Waitley

Too many people are discouraged about their abilities because they set themselves goals that are too difficult to achieve. Start by setting yourself small goals that you can win easily.

Once you have built a stream of successes that make you feel good about yourself, you can then move on to harder goals. Make sure that you also keep a list of all your achievements, both large and small, to remind yourself of the times that you have done well.

Instead of focusing only on “to-do” lists, I like to spend time reflecting on “did-it” lists. Reflecting on the major milestones, projects and goals you’ve achieved is a great way to reinforce confidence in your skills.

7. Help someone else.

Helping someone else often enables us to forget about ourselves and to feel grateful for what we have. It also feels good when you are able to make a difference for someone else.

Instead of focusing on your own weaknesses, volunteer to mentor, practically assist or teach another, and you’ll see your self-confidence grow automatically in the process.

8. Care for yourself.

“Self-care is never a selfish act — it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” — Parker Palmer

Self-confidence depends on a combination of good physical health, emotional health and social health. It is hard to feel good about yourself if you hate your physique or constantly have low energy.

Make time to cultivate great exercise, eating and sleep habits. In addition, dress the way you want to feel. You have heard the saying that “clothes make the man.” Build your self-confidence by making the effort to look after your own needs.

9. Create personal boundaries.

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”– Harvey Fierstein

Learn to say no. Teach others to respect your personal boundaries. If necessary, take classes on how to be more assertive and learn to ask for what you want. The more control and say that you have over your own life, the greater will be your self-confidence.

Related: 5 Ways to Train Your Brain and Boost Your Self-Esteem

10. Shift to an equality mentality.

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” — Marilyn Monroe

People with low self-confidence see others as better or more deserving than themselves. Instead of carrying this perception, see yourself as being equal to everyone. They are no better or more deserving than you. Make a mental shift to an equality mentality and you will automatically see an improvement in your self-confidence.

 

Entrepreneur.com  | September 7, 2016 | Chris W. Dunn

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Your #Career : 5 New Jobs Skills Employers Are Looking For in 2016…So, What are Employers Looking For, and What Skills Do you Need to Make Yourself an Attractive Candidate? Read on to Find Out.

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In a rapidly changing world economy, it’s a question that’s consistently at the top of everyone’s mind: what job skills do I need, and which will get me a job? Hunting for a job requires not only a specific set of strategies and techniques, but also a strong sense of confidence in your abilities. But it’s those abilities – which abilities, specifically – that hang up a lot of jobseekers.

Elegant business partners holding blank papers on green background

We’ve dug into this very topic before, and provided some insight into which job skills will get you hired this year. As the economy is constantly shifting and evolving, and churning undercurrents of consumer behavior call for different types of workers creating and supplying different products and services, it can be really difficult to know what employers want. We’re here to be a compass of sorts, and outline a handful of skills that employers are really scouring the labor market for in 2016, which should give you a leg-up in your job search.

While there will always be a need (until the robot take-over, that is) for menial, low-wage work, if you’re truly looking to give your career a shot in the arm, you’re going to need to put in some time on the side. Investing in yourself by learning new skills can lead you to new, unanticipated opportunities, and ultimately put a lot more money in your pocket. If you want to get serious about improving your earnings potential, this is the place to start.

So, what are employers looking for, and what skills do you need to make yourself an attractive candidate? Read on to find out.

1. Social skills

As we covered a little while back, social skills are becoming increasingly important in more and more organizations. At one time, this set of skills was overlooked – even seen as a hindrance to productivity. But as time marches on, managers and team leaders are recognizing the importance of social skills, and how they can shape a workplace. The main reason? Human interaction is hard to automate, and almost impossible for a computer to mimic. As automation kicks in, and social connections become more scarce, they’ll naturally increase in value.

 

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2. Industry-related programs

If you know what specific job or industry you’re gunning for, then you’re going to want to have a tool chest full of skills tailored for it. And in a world in which knowledge and software skills are as important as ever, figuring out which programs and skills you’ll need is paramount to getting hired. We put together a recent list of which programs are on employers’ wish lists for this year, so take a look and see which are relevant to your career track. Knowing these programs intimately will give you a big leg-up during the hiring process.

3. Development

These days, the word “developer” means so much more than someone who builds condos. And developers of all stripes are in high demand. In our case, we’re referring specifically to software and web developers, both of which possess skill sets that are highly sought-after by many big, flourishing companies. If this is a career track you’re interested in pursuing, go back to the previous item on our list, and figure out which software programs you need to be well-versed in to start getting successful interviews behind you.

4. Design

In the same way that developers are a hot commodity, so are designers. Designers possibly come in more stripes than developers, as there are graphic designers, software designers, game designers – hell, even fashion companies and automotive manufacturers need designers. Needless to say, the world needs designers. If you want to get specific, the world needs web designers, and algorithm designers. These are skills that will not only land you a job, but likely a pretty high salary.

5. Information security

We don’t often go a week or so without hearing about some giant data breach, which typically puts the personal information for millions of people at risk. It’s happened to big corporations like Target, and it’s even happened to government agencies. Because data is so valuable – and because so many people are out there trying to steal it – information security is something that every organization is quickly trying to beef up. That means there’s a need for information security professionals, leaving an opportunity to learn the skills and get hired.

There are a lot of problems to solve, so don’t hesitate to learn and start applying right away.

Follow Sam on Facebook and Twitter @SliceOfGinger

 

CheatSheet.com | September 4, 2016 | Sam Elliott

Your #Career : The 5 Best Ways to Network While You’re Still in College… When to Start Looking for a Career/Job? Today, IF you start your Junior Year, your Late!

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Thinking about the real world can be intimidating as a college student (I’ve been there!)… So it’s no surprise that our team gets questions from hundreds of students each month about how to network effectively in preparation for a career.

College Graduate

The connections I made in college have been instrumental in my post-grad life, including in starting my own company, WayUp. Below are five ways I suggest networking as a college student. Anyone can and should use them to build an effective set of relationships that will support you throughout your career.

Armed with these strategies, you should walk away feeling excited about the network, and future, that you’re building.

1. Use part-time jobs and internships to your advantage

Warren Buffett started as a paperboy, Madonna as a Dunkin Donuts worker, and Oprah worked at a grocery store. Working during school is the perfect way to gain experience, figure out what you love / don’t love, and make money. But regardless of what you choose to do, you’ll likely meet people who will go on to do bigger and better things, and you never know how they’ll be able to help you.

Today’s barista is tomorrow high-powered ad executive, so don’t discount anybody along the way. Use your time at work to get to know people and ask questions. Stay in touch after you leave a job or internship, even if it’s just a quick email update every couple of months.

 

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2. Cold email people you admire

I love cold emailing people (“cold emailing” means reaching out to someone you don’t know). Every college student should take advantage of how easy it can be!

Students are often intimidated to message someone to whom they have no connection, but in my experience, most people in the world really want to help others, and it’s even more special when a person gets to help a college student. So be sure to cold email people you admire, or even people at your own school who you just haven’t been able to meet.

Cold-emailing helped me plenty in college. I got one internship through it (back then, we didn’t have WayUp!), and I even relied on a cold email to a role model so I could get their advice on which career path to take after graduation. Here’s a video (at 49-seconds) of me telling that story:

A couple big tips here: always be respectful and genuine when cold emailing, definitely make sure that you show that you respect their time, and most of all, be sure to use the “I’m a college student” opening while you still can!

3. Take advantage of professional networking groups and clubs on campus

Many colleges have groups, clubs, and associations that you can join to expand your opportunities and meet amazing people, both on and off-campus. There’s never going to be another time quite like college where you’re surrounded by thousands of amazingly smart and interesting people, so get to know the people you think will change the world someday.

At college, you’re exposed to some of the most brilliant academic minds in the world, so why wouldn’t you take advantage of that? If there’s a subject area you’re interested in, don’t be afraid to go to professors in that field; they love talking about their work and meeting young people who are just as interested.

You never know which professor will end up being the professor who changes your life trajectory. For example, the professor who taught my “Entrepreneurship” class helped me work on a business plan that ended up being the inspiration for WayUp!

5. Reach out to everyone you know in your personal network

The best way to figure out what you might be interested in is to talk to absolutely everyone about your interests. You’d be surprised at how many people your friends and family know.

Pro-tip: don’t forget to take advantage of winter and spring break. It’s the perfect opportunity to reach out to folks at home about connections they may have that are relevant to your interests!

No matter where you attend school or what you choose to study, building a network now will make life so much easier after graduation. Good luck!

Liz Wessel,    CONTRIBUTOR – I write about how to level up your career while in college

Forbes.com | September 7, 2016