#JobSearch : How To Cope With Being Laid Off. After Death, Job Loss is Ranked as One of Life’s Most Stressful Events. How did You Manage?

Employers have been downright coldhearted lately in how they have laid off people. Jacob waited on Zoom for the company meeting to start. Several hundred sales reps and managers from across the US were tuning in to hear the latest sales news from the company’s vice president. Instead, Jacob got the shock of his life. With panic in his voice, he called for career help and said, “The VP opened the meeting to announce that everyone on the call was being let go, effective immediately. It was a cost-cutting measure. The company was moving all its sales jobs offshore. I couldn’t believe it. In the span of three minutes, we were all fired with only two weeks’ severance. I’m frantic about losing my job. I’ll blow through my savings by the end of the month.”

“After death, job loss is ranked as one of life’s most stressful events,” says Dr. Gregg Jantz, a psychologist and founder of A Place of Hope, a counseling and treatment center. The bestselling author of The Anxiety Reset continued, “People feel a betrayal of trust, especially when the job loss comes as a shock. It’s so traumatic.”

As the tech industry continues to make headlines each day with more and more layoffs, it’s hard to handle all the feelings you face as you make this difficult career transition. Dr. Jantz stated, “The normal response to betrayal is intense anger. It is a sense of injustice, feeling that the employer didn’t respect or value you. People get very upset thinking the employer didn’t appreciate all their hard work. As a result, you want to get even, retaliate, and strike out at those you think have wronged you. We want revenge,” he stated. Jacob echoed that sentiment, mentioning a colleague spilled water on the company laptop to destroy it before he sent it back.

Couple job loss with what Dr. Jantz sees happening throughout the nation. “We are in the middle of a mental health crisis in our country. The No. 1 diagnosis in America is anxiety, and No. 2 is depression. When you lose your job, these feelings intensify.”

What Not To Do

This transition will not be easy. You’ll have a range of emotions that contribute to the blues. You may also experience uncontrolled fear, negative self-talk, devaluing yourself, self-pity, and moping.

You’re entitled to your feelings. Don’t ignore them—but be careful. Dr. Jantz warns that you don’t want to sabotage your future. You might do something that you’ll regret. Do not comment on social media or express anger at your boss or company. They may be wrong, but you have much more to lose than they do. Instead, Dr. Jantz recommends you allow 24 hours to pass before you do anything. You need time to lower the intensity. Instead, if you vent too fast—sending nasty, raging emails or social media posts—you will become a victim, and this action will make your job search longer and harder. When you display anger and feelings of betrayal, the danger is that you’ll be radiating a spirit of blame in your communications. You do not want to come across with that attitude in an interview.

Carefully select the people you share your feelings and outrage with. Dr. Jantz advised, “Be careful what you do to the people around you, such as continuously venting, being irritable, displacing anger at others. You are targeting it at friends and family that love you, and they had nothing to do with this event. This is not the way you should release your feelings.”

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Coping Strategies

You can do several things when you are handling these overwhelming feelings. Here is what Dr. Jantz suggests.

• Practice good self-care, including nutrition, sleep, and exercise. If you feel anger, pair it with some movement—walking, working out, exercising—as you process that anger. Put feelings on paper. Turn away from self-destructive behavior, and don’t punish yourself. Refocus and define what you must do to fortify yourself to increase your well-being. If you isolate, stay at home, and withdraw, you may suffer from depression symptoms.
• Resilience is what you want, not to feel defeated. Ask yourself, “Am I full of anger and bitterness? Has anxiety and fear taken over my life? (Take an anxiety test here.) Use positive self-talk to reassure yourself that there is nothing wrong with you and that you aren’t defective, just going through a rough spot.

To jump-start, your job search, read this Forbes article: How to Quickly Bounce Back From A Layoff

Forbes.com | Februrary 1, 2023 | Robin Ryan