#BestofFSCBlog : How to Negotiate a Job Offer. The Do’s and Don’ts. If you Don’t Ask for What you Want, You’re Not Going to Get It. A MUst REad!

Find out how much your expertise is worth.

Research how your experience and skills are valued across the industry in which you have applied for a job. Figure out what the company or others like it pay current employees, either through publicly available information or by networking with current or former employees. Websites such as Payscale.com, Salary.com and Glassdoor.com also offer salary comparisons across various roles and industries.

Establish a connection with your negotiator.

An effective negotiating tactic is to create a personal rapport with the other person. “You’ve got to develop, in whatever amount of time you have, a degree of personal empathy with that person, some kind of personal connection with the individual so they look at you as other than something like a cog in a wheel,” says Luis Rueda, a retired Central Intelligence Agency operative whose role involved convincing foreigners to spy on their countries for the U.S. “You’ve got to let them humanize you.” 

Mr. Rueda recommends researching the person before the negotiation begins. What motivates him or her? Think about what the person has highlighted in his or her biography on the employer’s website or LinkedIn. What has this individual mentioned in past conversations? “The idea of winging it is seldom successful,” says Mr. Rueda. “Find out what makes the individual tick and what makes the company tick. Do your homework and understand your audience.”

On the day of the negotiation, try to identify something in the person’s office or in the background of a video call that you can bond over. “If they’ve got pictures of a kid the same age as your kid, there’s something you can play with,” Mr. Rueda says. Perhaps the hiring manager prominently displays interest in a sport or in travel. Think about how you can use that to develop some kind of personal connection. “You might be the 15th person they’ve seen that day, or the 30th issue they’ve dealt with,” Mr. Rueda says. “Try to create a connection that says: ‘I’m a human being. Look at me.’”

Don’t bring up your salary.

If you throw out the first number, you might be negotiating against yourself, since it is possible the employer would be willing to make a higher offer than what you propose. “If you want to maximize your pay, the cardinal rule is: Do not bring up pay,” says Ms. White. “If you make yourself desirable to them, your offer will be higher.”

If the employer directly asks what you would like to make, respond by asking what the budget for the role is. In all instances, wait for the employer to say a number first. If the number is lower than what you expected, you can always counter it. If it still comes up short, consider negotiating a raise six months into the role if you meet agreed-upon goals.

Don’t focus entirely on the pay.

Many people only negotiate salary and bonuses, but that is a mistake. There are many other elements of a job that can be negotiated and may make the difference between feeling appropriately compensated for your work and not. For example, if you are currently paying out of pocket for your health insurance, can the employer reimburse those costs until your new benefits kick in? Or if being able to work remotely or have more vacation time is important to your work-life balance, consider negotiating these.  Find out what terms are on the table so you can prioritize which ones matter most to you before the initial job offer. By doing so, you will be in a better position to negotiate. Read our guide on how to counter a job offer for a list of what could be on the table.

Make all of your requests at once.

Don’t make the mistake of negotiating each benefit individually so that you are constantly requesting new terms. Dr. Hamaria Crockett, a career coach with Korn Ferry Advance, the career-coaching arm of organizational consulting firm Korn Ferry, says it’s best to avoid negotiating each term piecemeal because it can be “a turn-off” for the employer.

If you are going to ask for several adjustments to the offer, divide your requests into hard and soft categories, negotiation experts say. Anything related to pay, bonuses and stock options should be negotiated together, as part of your hard requests. Once you have reached an agreement on those, move on to the softer requests like vacation time, flexible work and job title.

Make it clear how hiring you will make the employer better off.

At the CIA they call it “PTBUF,” or putting the benefits up front, says Mr. Rueda. When you are negotiating with someone, you should start by explaining what is in it for that person, he says. You should detail up front how hiring you is going to benefit your potential employer. Mr. Rueda recommends emphasizing these benefits at the beginning and end of the negotiation. “You want the negotiator to come away understanding why you’re worth the money,” he says.

Don’t exaggerate.

Part of the art of negotiation is building trust, and if you are exaggerating your qualifications, the chances are someone will notice. That only gets in the way of forging the kind of relationship that would lead to getting what you want. “Be very honest,” and try to strike the balance between overselling and underselling yourself, says Mr. Rueda. “Have a very realistic opinion of who you are, backed up by the facts.”

Don’t give an ultimatum.

When you finally get an offer in writing, but it falls slightly short of what you want, use a “yes, but” response. In a professional and friendly tone, convey your gratitude for the offer and then follow up with the reasons that the job warrants better terms. Lay out what you would be missing out on by leaving your existing role or the typical salary and benefits that a similar position would offer in your sector. Back up your requests with evidence. Just as you wouldn’t recommend an all-or-nothing solution to a work challenge, you shouldn’t do so during the negotiation. Each touchpoint during the discussion is your chance to develop a relationship with your new employer. “Once you receive a job offer, you stop being a candidate and you start being an employee of the company to some extent,” says Paolo Gallo, the author of The Compass and the Radar: The Art of Building a Rewarding Career While Remaining True to Yourself. “The way you negotiate starts building your reputation.”

Resources

• O*net: This Department of Labor-sponsored website provides a comprehensive look at the skills required for specific jobs across all industries, plus median pay per job.
• H-1B Data: As part of the H-1B visa program, companies must keep a public-access file that includes the exact salary of the employee they sponsor. This website collects some of those salaries and allows you to search by company, position, location and the year the candidate was hired.
• Payscale: This salary comparison website requires that you enter your data before it shows you anything.
• Salary.com: This comparison site allows you to see payscale by profession,  industry and various other variables.
• Glassdoor: You can browse salaries by company and position. The salaries are entered anonymously into the website by employees.

What to do next

• How to Negotiate and Counter a Job Offer
• How to Build Meaningful Workplace Relationships
• How to Prepare for a Job Interview
• How to Dress for a Job Interview
• How to Write a Thank-You Email
• Why More People Should Try to Negotiate for a Higher Salary