#YourCareer : 5 Mindful Steps To Help You With Those Difficult Conversations. There are 5 Simple Steps you can Learn to be More Calm and Productive, Even in the Toughest Situations.

/in /by

The longer you live, the more likely it is that you will encounter really difficult conversations. Those tough encounters that keep you up at night preparing, or that give you that ‘pit’ in your stomach when you imagine what might happen. When the time comes, you arrive feeling tired, defensive and anxious. And rarely does it go well.

In these times of great division, it is more important than ever to be able to use a simple framework for calm dialog.

While these types of conversations are inevitable, your reaction to them is not. There are 5 simple steps you can learn to be more calm and productive, even in the toughest situations.

  1. Create a supportive environment-find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted and turn off your phones and laptops. When we are not fully present for a conversation because one eye is on our phone, it feels disrespectful. While this is always true, with difficult encounters, it is especially important to emphasize respect.
  2. Form an intention to be open and curious-try to set aside the internal chatter that is judging the other person’s positions. Attend the meeting with the intention to listen deeply and not be defensive. When those thoughts arise, see if you can let them go and redirect your attention to the speaker.
  3. Use monologues-rather than talking over one another, give one another 3 minutes for a monologue. During the monologue, the listener may not interrupt to ask questions or argue…just listen.
  4. When emotions start to rise, take a ‘time out’ for a few breaths-when you start to feel the temperature in the room going up, either person can call for a break to be quiet and take a few breaths. Once it feels more settled, begin again.
  5. End with a next step (even if it is to keep talking)-it is very important to agree on something as a next step. It need not be the final answer, just something that both parties recognize as progress.

In these times of great division, it is more important than ever to be able to use a simple framework for calm dialog. Open, honest conversations are the best way to go forward with greater understanding and less conflict. To learn more about mindful leadership training, go to the Institute for Mindful Leadership.

 

Forbes.com | September 2, 2020 | Janice Marturano