#Leadership : How To Stay Ambitious In Business Without Burning Out…To #Succeed Without Sacrificing Yourself in the Process Means you Need to Set Boundaries & Take Care of Yourself Along the Way.

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How Can You be Successful & Have an Impact in Business Without Sacrificing Yourself or Your Sanity in the Process?  I’ve spent the last several years studying neuroscience, mindfulness, high performance leadership, and several other healing modalities to figure out how to create success with ease.

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Image: GettyImage

Image: GettyImage

Here is what I’ve discovered:

1. Set Clear Goals….Then Be Flexible.

If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t get there. Be very clear and specific with your goals, these are the anchors that will steer your ship.

You will encounter storms and rough waters as you sail towards your goals, so it’s important to be flexible and open to changing course as needed.

2. Visualize, Visualize, Visualize. 

One study with basketball players showed that one hour of visualization was the equivalent of seven hours of physical activity! There is incredible power in the mind/body connection. Once you have a goal, for example; “having one million customers for my new product,” you need to be able to see this goal as if it has already happened. What pictures and images represent this goal to you?

Spend at least three minutes each day visualizing success, and suddenly you’ll be having coffee with a friend when an amazing new business opportunity falls on your lap. Or you’ll meet your future soul mate at the grocery store.

 

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3. Feel Success.

The secret ingredient to visualization is to be able to feel your goal as if it has already occurred. Your subconscious mind responds to feeling more than words, and your body cannot tell the difference between an imagined feeling, such as thinking about licking a lemon, versus the reality of licking a lemon.

When you act as if you have already achieved your goal, and you feel that way in your body, your subconscious mind will respond to create those circumstances for you. If you have a goal of making a certain amount of money, and you can’t really get jazzed in your body just thinking about a pile of money (most people don’t), think about what you want to spend that money on or which charity you want to donate it to…and notice how that feels in your body.

4. Don’t Give Up…But Do Take A Break.

The key to success is to be persistent in the long run. However, you also need to make sure you’re refueling along the way so that you don’t burn out. Think of it as a marathon, not a sprint.

If you refuse to give up, you will eventually get there. The destination may look different from your original goal, and the path may have lots of twists and turns, but you will succeed if you never give up. Some days you may feel like quitting, and it’s ok to take a break when you are frustrated. Go on a run, paint, meditate, meet a friend for coffee. Don’t push the river upstream when it isn’t working. And, just because you’re having a hard time doesn’t mean you should stop rowing all together.

5. When Someone Has What You Want – Be Happy For Them.

Competition and jealousy hurt you more than the other person. Your subconscious mind is very literal. If your goal is to become a partner at your firm and someone else gets the promotion first, you may think “that sucks.” When you have the thought “that sucks,” your subconscious mind actually associates promotion = that sucks.

Your conscious mind has the ability to discern and judge things, but the subconscious mind does not. It cannot tell that the situation sucks because theother person got the job. Instead, the subconscious mind will assume that the job itself sucks and that you don’t want it, and it will act accordingly. This is one way that we unknowingly sabotage ourselves.

So when you see someone get something that you want, be happy for them! Imagine that it’s you who has that thing instead of them, and think about how you will feel having that success yourself.

6. Only Fools Go It Alone.

It takes strength to get support. I recently watched the last episode of Jon Stewart in which he took a camera crew backstage to introduce and thank every single person on his team. It was a huge team. I had no idea it took that many people to produce The Daily Show.

All truly successful people have a team of rock stars behind the scenes. Find yours, appreciate them and allow yourself to receive their support. Giving and taking support should be balanced, don’t give more than you take.

7. Don’t Be Everything To Everyone. Learn How To Say “No.”

One woman at a retreat I led for working mothers shared a story that her husband picked their son up at daycare one afternoon and arrived an hour early because he had the time wrong. When she asked him what he did, he said “I got a beer.” She responded, incredulous, “You got a beer?! At 3pm in the afternoon before picking our son up from day care?!”

Every woman in the room was astounded. I asked the women, what would you have done? Everyone said “Run errands, checked email for work, gone to a grocery store nearby to buy toilet paper, etc.”

Then I said, “Instead of judging the husband saying ‘who does he think he is to get a beer in the middle of the afternoon!?’ Maybe we should be looking at ourselves and thinking ‘who do I think I am not taking some time for myself in the middle of the day?!’ Why am I filling every spare minute with errands, work and chores? When was the last time I took an extra hour and got a pedicure or did something just for me?’”

To succeed without sacrificing yourself in the process means you need to set boundaries and take care of yourself along the way. Get a massage, take a bath, and learn to say “no” to other peoples’ requests in order to create space for your needs to be met.

 

Forbes.com | August 12, 2015 | Vanessa Loder

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